Monday, August 22, 2011

Strange Killers : Hyenas

Is this what we've come to?  Are there really so many horror films made each year that we have to resort to were-hyenas?  As a bonus, B-Movie Director/Special Effects guru John Carl Buechler is on hand here too, although as the latter and not the former.  Darn- I was really hoping for another Eden Formula!  Well, let's see if this film can be salvaged with some star power.  Who's on tap?  Costas Mandylor and Meschach Taylor.  Yeah, this movie is doomed.  All kidding aside, let me give you the basic run-down.  There are Were-hyenas and one guy is trying to kill them.  I guess I should go into more depth than that, huh?  That's what the rest of this review is for.  Try not to laugh as you watch...
A woman is attacked on a country road by some rednecks with glowing eyes.  Hillbilly Terminators or something slightly-less silly?
The grieving husband is left to make sense of what happens.  Thankfully, a cast member from Designing Women is here to explain that it was the work of Were-hyenas.  By the way, Meschach also begins the film by talking to the audience...or not.  You'll see.
I know that you're dying to see what these things look like, so let me appease you right now.  Enjoy...
In the least built-up surprise of all-time, the woman that our heroes save from an attack is covered in scratches.  She's clearly not hiding anything...
Speaking of nudity, the leader of the Were-hyena pack flashes her boobs and dances around during one kill.  That's...unnecessary, but thank you.
Do I need a caption for this one?  Nah- I didn't think so.
For the climax, a bunch of people all go in a cave.  I'm trying to spare you most of the SPOILERS here, so that's all you get.  Plus, the real reason is just about as silly.
It all comes down to a battle between two female Were-hyenas for the control of the pack.  Note how one of them didn't sign that waiver to appear naked, so she's only topless when covered in full-body make-up.  Nice.
The film Ends with more of Meschach talking to us in front of the campfire.  Of course, he's actually talking to someone else.  So you're Plot Device was not only silly and killed any drama relating to a lead character, but it was also a lie.  Nice.  The End.
Ha freaking ha!  The plot of this movie is weird, oddly put together and not that good.  Essentially, we learn that there are packs of Were-hyenas running around the World that kill people, yet nobody knows about them.  I'm sorry, but could you maybe scale that idea back a bit.  If you tried to say that there was some sort of scientific anomaly that caused this or work in some sort of magical curse, I'd buy that.  However, we are expected to believe that not only do these things exist, but nobody knows about them and only one guy seems to be going after them.  Now if this is all leading up to the Were-hyenas battling the Were-supials from Howling III, I'll gladly rescind my complaint!  Overall, the acting is not that good, the Special Effects are cheap and the pacing is kind of random.  There are some good make-up effects on display here, but those make for good pictures on the DVD box...as opposed to a good movie.  Good luck with that sequel you clearly want to make when your movie has images like this in it...
Next up, a film with a villain with a confusing back-story.  The name is also a pun, so this should be fantastic!  Stay tuned...
  

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