Tubi Thursday: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010)

Guillermo Del Toro was apparently a big fan of the 1973 TV Movie.

As such, we got a Remake in Theaters in 2010.

Let's see if it was necessary...

In a Flashback Scene, a guy named Lord Blackwood makes a sacrifice to some unseen creatures to free his Son.

It goes poorly.

In the Present, a divorced Dad (Guy Pearce) and his new Girlfriend (Katie Holmes) move into the same House.

His Daughter is forced to move in with him too.

She's not happy.
Not about any of this.

She uncovers the hidden entrance to the Basement, in spite of the Groundskeeper's protests.

She opens the grate and the unseen creatures try to bring her comfort.

When she finally sees them, however, they are far less friendly.

Their lashing out against the Parents makes her look guilty as well, which doesn't help.

Holmes believes the girl- as much as she can- and gives her a polaroid camera, knowing that whatever she sees is afraid of light.

Can she finally convince people that the creatures are real?
Can Holmes find out what is going on?

Do I kind of miss the furry guys with almond shaped heads?

To find out the answers to (most of) those questions, stream it now.

A Remake that does its own thing most of the time.

That said, this one feels familiar in many ways.

Del Toro is one of the 3 Writers (counting the 1973 Film's Writer) and boy, does it show!

It takes place at a Gothic Mansion, has a kid experiencing fairy tale trauma, the creatures are a form of fairies and the Dad is not a lot of help.

I'll just say this too- making the Heroine into a kid is a Cheat Code for mining sympathy.

If you don't know the Original, you won't see the story beats from it (the groundskeeper being attacked, tripping people with the rope).

Again- this Film is much more than just the same Film again.

Even so, I feel like if we just got someone like Del Toro to make an updated version of the original in its essence, it would be better.

As it is, I feel pulled between two divergent opinions- this is different and should it be?

A Film that is thankfully more than just a shinier, CGI-filled Remake.  That said, it is too familiar in about every other way.

Shudder Day: Faces of Death (2026)

Well, I've already covered the original and its most famous rip-off.

Now let's check out the Meta Sequel that was 4 Decades in the making.

This is...

A woman named Margot works as a Content Moderator at a Streaming Platform a la Tik Tok (or Tic Tac if you're Trump).

She sees a video that looks real and has odd narration.

She approves it, but it soon troubled by another one appearing the next day.

As it turns out, they are real!

A weirdo is obsessed with Internet Violence Culture and is reenacting Scenes with real people.

He targets an influencer next...

Margot investigates the videos via Reddit and is told about Faces of Death.

Luckily, her weirdo roommate has a copy of it on VHS and she soon recognizes the original versions of his reenactments.

Before you ask, I don't own the Film on VHS.

The killer takes on more victims and does his own version of yet another Faces of Death Scene.

I guess that this is a World without CNN, because there's no way that this guy showing up in a 'murder video' is not news.

Margot goes deeper and deeper.

Nobody will believe her without more evidence, so she finds some.

Unfortunately, that gets the killer looking at her!

As it turns out, Margot herself was involved in this same culture.  

She had an attempt at a viral video go horribly wrong.

So, if she wants to stop the killer, it's all on her!

To find out how that goes, stream it now.

A surprisingly good META Horror Sequel.  I know- I wasn't expecting it either.

A Film like this can either be really good or really bad.  There's almost never an in-between.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare- good.
Human Centipede 2- bad!

How you feel about this one will also be informed by how you feel about Post-Modern Slasher Films.  This is close to one, albeit not one with a mystery reveal of the killer.

A Film like this could get really preachy, but they walk that line pretty well.  The Film itself has much to say, but is pretty good about not pointing a finger too much.

Seeing the promotion and trailers for this left me cold, but curious.
The final product, however, was better than I'd hoped and didn't upset me as much as I expected.

A Film that is honestly kind of good and has stuff to say.  Marketing this was never going to be easy, but, boy, did they botch it.

Streaming Standard: Anaconda (2025)

 A META Sequel to a dead Franchise?
A killer snake Film?

It's on Netflix (at time of writing) and I had a free evening, so let's do this!

A group of friends reunite later in life.

They all had dreams of making Movies.

Rudd- a flailing Actor- pitches the idea that they do a Remake of their favorite Film- Anaconda- since he got the rights.

So, we get a soft mix of Be Kind Rewind (who was the Lead in that again) and Anaconda.

The group make their Film, but are unknowingly dragged into the middle of a B-Plot over some stolen gold.

Their attempt to make the Film is aided by the fact that they hired a (somewhat crazy) guy who owns an actual Anaconda.

They shoot a bunch of footage with it before tragedy strikes.
Naturally, they put all of this in the Trailer (and more).

Tensions arise after that and, naturally, a giant anaconda is also nearby.

Rudd- on the outs with the group- sees the carnage and has to warn everyone!

The snake attacks everyone and they have to make a run for it.

I won't SPOIL why Jack has a pig on his back (unless you watched the Trailer), but I will say that they must take out the creature before any other lives are lost.

Can they?

To find out, stream it now...

It is honestly better than I was expecting it to be.

To be fair, this was a Film that I saw promoted in the Months leading up to December and never went to see in a Theater.  So, my standard for this was not super high- just to be clear.

With that out of the way, I did kind of really like this one.

Everyone in the Film is likable as an Actor and as a Character.

To his credit, Jack Black does let the quieter moments be just that.  You still get usual schtick, but it is not constant.

Thandiwe Newton was also good here, giving this Film some gravitas, while still leaning into the jokes.

The Effects are good here.  Nothing groundbreaking, but good.

The META nature of the Plot will either sell this one to you as something different or sour you if you just want another killer snake Film.

Either way, it is far better than the Fake AI Trailer Images suggest. 

A pretty fun Film that can hit you in the feels when it wants to.  It is still a META Sequel, so your mileage may vary.

Shudder Day: Queen of Black Magic (2019)

 Back when I got DVDs from Netflix, I used to LOVE watching whatever Mondo Macabro would distribute.

In 2026, I can now check out the (sort of) Remake of one of those Films.  
This is...

A trio of men- now married and one with children- return to the Orphanage at which they were raised when the man running it is near death.

Their past comes in the form of stories about a malformed woman and her mysterious disappearance.

Along the way there, they hit a deer.

As weird stuff starts to happen, the Dad checks the car and sees...something not right.

What he sees at the place of the wreck, he sees something even worse.
No, I won't SPOIL what that is.

Attempts to call the Police- fail.
Cell Phones- they don't work.

And yes, we are still doing 'No signal out here' stuff in 2019.

What is the weird cord attached to her cell phone?

Everyone there- from the kids to the parents to the staff running the place- is in danger.

A strange force is making them confront their fears/phobias.

It gets bloody.
It gets cruel.

Who will live?  Who will die?

What happens when the truth comes out?

To find out, stream it now.

A slow burn Film that gets very, very dark by the end.

The key aspect of the Film is that it needs about 25 Characters to let them do all of the crazy kills/torture they need to do.

As such, the Film takes a while setting things up.

Once the Horror starts, it never really lets up.
The CGI and make-up work is good here- almost too good.

The Film looks too real and the body horror stuff is quite unsettling.  If that's your thing, then you'll love this one.

Fans of freaky, dark Horror are in for a treat- as long as they can deal with foreign Actors, locations and subtitles.

A Film that eventually gets to a scary and graphic place.  If you don't like blood and cruelty in Film, skip this one!

Tubi Thursday: The Crazies (2010)

 We're covering the Remake first this time, since Tubi is going to drop it by next week.

Will this one set a bar to be topped by the Romero original?

Let's find out...

A small town in Iowa seems nice.

Everyone is happy and having a baseball game when a strange man wanders onto the field.

The Sheriff is forced to shoot him down.

Another crazy person shows up the next day, this one having burned down his House with his family in it.

In the Station, he stands oddly still and silent *the entire time*

A tip sends them out into the nearby Swamp (in Iowa?) and they find a plane crash.

Is this the source of what is going on?

That night, the Military show up and put everyone in a Camp.

Uh oh!

If they turn out to be Giant Rats again, I'm out!

They separate some people for testing, while locking the women up separately.

After chaos at the gate (where most of the people run away), they don't notice a Crazy wandering in to kill them all.

And yes, this guy is the one responsible for the branding of the pitchfork being dragged along the floor.

They eventually run across a Government stooge- played by famous 'That Guy' Actor Glenn Morshower- and find out the secret.

Can our Heroes survive?
To find out, stream it now (just hurry if you want to see it on Tubi).

A Film that is honestly pretty darn good, even if it never elaborates on much.

This one does a decent job of making a nice, normal-looking Town and then having it go into chaos.  I would have done maybe a bit more to establish it though.

Modern Film Producers surely insist on a big Scene like the Shooting to happen early, but maybe be a bit more patient.

The titular infected- again with that term! - aren't anything more than just slightly angrier people that want to kill you with whatever is nearby.

If you're expecting more, it isn't here.

There is also one Scene where 2 Crazies can speak and plan...which seems in contrast to all of the others.

The Crazies doesn't aim for much than a Character focused series of kills and jump scares & it does deliver.  
Is that enough of a ringing endorsement?

A Remake that has all of the modern touches you'd expect.  If you expect more than what the Title promises, you'll be disappointed.

Yuletide Terror: Black Christmas (2019)

 Black Christmas, I gave you, my heart.
The very next....13 years later, you gave it away.

This is 2019's Black Christmas, a Film that was, well, not received well.  I've gone all of this time without watching it.

That said, it took me 17 years from its release date to watch the 2006 Remake.  This one was only 6 years.

The Plot, well, is a loose Remake of the original Bob Clark Film.  Much like the so-called Prom Night Remake, it takes some elements, uses the name and...that's it.

This one has ladies in peril on Christmas, but not from an unseen killer, not trapped in the House...and not with a bizarre, tacked on Third Act in the Hospital.

So, if you want to be mad at this Film, do it for different reasons than 'It's another Remake.  LOL.  Hollywood has no original ideas anymore!'

Can our vastly different Cast of would-be Victims stop the killer (or killers) before it is too late?

To find out, read on...

In the (wintery) Cold Open, a person is stalking a woman down the Street and sending threatening texts.

She thinks she escapes...but fails.

The Story follows a Sorority that has some issues with many people on campus.

One of them is a Student who 'took advantage' of Riley here.
The other is a Teacher (Cary Elwes) who is accused of misogyny.

But who cares- it is Christmas!

After a satirical remake of the Christmas song from 'Mean Girls,' they start getting threatening texts from...the Founder of the School.

Said Founder is obviously dead, but they did force the Campus to remove his bust from display.

'Do you like Christmas Movies?'

Things escalate when some of the girls go missing.

Riley begins to suspect that the guy she (accurately) accused of assault is behind things.
Is he?

We also get some light homages to the original (and possibly Exorcist 3).

The group manages to band together when the killer breaks into their Sorority House.
Just like in the Original...kind of.

However, things take a turn when more than one killer appears...and it only gets weirder from there.

This is one of those Films with a bizarre turn (or 3) in Act 3 that you will either love or hate.

I'll share my thoughts on it shortly.

Until then, feel free to (festively) stream it now...

A Film that I honestly liked more than the official Remake from 2006.

Should I set the bar higher?

For me, this has all of the now-classic elements of a Modern Slasher.  
The only thing missing for me is the excessive gore.

Don't mistake this for a Family Film, but some Scenes- like, say, an arrow to the face- are far more subdued than you would expect from this kind of Film.

This Film is one that really benefits those that pay attention to the little details and can make some interesting, logical leaps too.  I won't SPOIL the big Twists, but they are hiding in plain sight.

I know that the whole 'Girl Power/Girl Boss' energy turned many people away.  You do you.

Said Twists do elevate this one for me from, say, another Scream Film or one of its ilk.  It is a freaking bonkers twist, but I liked it.

It is what I call 'a big reach' and it worked out for me.

If you're burnt out on Remakes, consider a Film like this that is less paint-by-numbers than many.  Whether you let this Film play out or not, there's something there to see- even if it is well hidden.

A 'Remake' that gave me lots of bizarre joy.  It's definitely 'a lot' though!

A Merry Christmas to all who read this, whether you give this Film a chance or not.

'Silent Night, Deadly Night' Compendium

 As teased last week, I bundled all of these gifts together for you.

If you want to know my take on all of the Films (save the 2025 Remake), here they are...

1) Silent Night, Deadly Night (MONDO BIZARRO: Yuletide Classic: Silent Night, Deadly Night): A Cult Classic that traumatized a generation...of yuppies and baby boomers...with its ad campaign.

The actual Film is typical '80s Slasher carnage with a festive flair.  Woo!

2) Silent Night, Deadly Night- Part 2 (MONDO BIZARRO: Holiday Trash: Silent Night, Deadly Night- Part 2): A Film that started out as a blatant cash grab became a world famous meme.

As you may or may not know, the plan was to shoot a tiny bit of footage of the Brother grown up and mix in the original Film footage to sell the same Film twice.

They added so much that it became much more.  It became true Garbage (Day) that people love.

3) Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 (MONDO BIZARRO: Forgotten Sequels: Silent Night, Deadly Night 3): Ah yes, the Film that I once bought on VHS...since that was all it had at the time.

This Threequel follows the Brother, who somehow survived being shot in the head.  He's now Bill Mosely and he's tracking a blind, psychic lady on Christmas...because reasons.

4) Silent Night, Deadly Night 4- The Initiation (MONDO BIZARRO: Tubi Thursday: Silent Night Deadly Night 4- Initiation): aka the cash grab one by Brian Yuzna.

This is the least connected 'Sequel' so far with Ricky now a hobo (with his head restored) who works for Witches that empower women...or something.

Great VFX by Screaming Mad George though.

5) Silent Night, Deadly Night 5- The Toymaker (MONDO BIZARRO: Holiday Tubi: Silent Night, Deadly Night 5- The Toymaker (1991)): The Film that accidentally made one man into a hypocrite (against his will).

Outspoken Critic of the first Film Mickie Rooney is playing an evil Toymaker whose 'son' is a killer doll.   

No Ricky to speak of...since this was an unrelated Film that got rebranded to sell more VHS tapes.

6) Silent Night (2012) [MONDO BIZARRO: Merry Deathmas: Silent Night (2012)]: The kind of, sort of Remake that nobody wanted.

Over 20 years after the last Film, this one- likely inspired by the wave of Horror Remakes- does little with the premise, raises a million questions and is, honestly, not that good.

Bonus: The Japanese Cover Art for the original Film (MONDO BIZARRO: Lost in Translation?: Silent Night, Deadly Night)