This movie is like the Holy Grail of actors that are willing to appear in any random film that you will pay them for. Ron Perlman is an actor I really like who does do good films (all 4 Hellboy films- 2 live and 2 animated), but he has also starred in such crap as Primal Force, where he battles killer baboons. Christopher Lambert was in the original Highlander and Greystoke, but he was also in every other Highlander film as well (save for The Source). As for Lou Diamond Phillips, well, um...he was in La Bamba. Remember that? So what kind of story do you craft around these three 'titans of cinema.' One word...
In the year 2010, a horrible virus named N.D.S. has run rampant throughout the land. By the way, you may want to just get vaccinated now, just to be safe. Also, just to note, this movie was made in 2001- way to plan ahead! Back to the story, there is no cure for the disease, only Absolon. The drug, you see, is taken daily to keep people for getting an escalation of symptoms. So people are no longer judged based on their dollar worth- just on how much Absolon that they can afford. With the backdrop firmly established, we get the plot: a mysterious scientist is killed and a detective (Lambert) must take his team and solve it. His group includes a young lady who looks a lot like the female 'Mythbuster' from the TLC show. I just thought that I would share an interesting fact with you since the movie is, well, not all that interesting.
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The plot gets really generic from hereon out- you were warned. A government agent (Phillips) is sent in to investigate the whole thing as well, but appears to have his own agenda. It's alright though, I'm sure he's not a bad guy. I mean, he just wears all black, makes angry faces and talks in cryptic statements. Oh and he reports to an evil industrialist (Perlman), who I'm sure has no ulterior motive as well. Incidentally, Ron's character is really lackadaisical and wears really weird sunglasses for no reason. Faster than you can say 'that is a really obvious twist,' Lambert ends up on the run from *gasp* Phillips, by order of Perlman. I trusted you two! This builds up to my favorite scene: the dramatic leap. Lambert and a lady jump from a bridge and into a moving truck below. Excuse me, that's wrong. Some random kid in Lambert's clothes and the lady jump into a movie truck. Hell, the trailer even shows this!
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Drugs play a big part in this movie: both in the plot and clearly on-set. In one hilarious scene, Lambert is rescued by a resistance movement group and just starts eating. He actually goes and gets more food in the middle of the scene! If you don't get the feeling that the famed actor is high, you need to check your prescription glasses. I would be remiss without mentioning Perlman's performance later in the movie. He does two scenes whilst leaning back in a chair and appearing barely awake. Method acting gone too far- perhaps.
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Absolon's ending is not all that bad, at least the first one. The movie tosses about six-hundred twists at you in the very end. While it works in some films (Equilibrium, for one), it does not work here. Basically, it looks like Lambert has the cure for N.D.S. inside of him and must live. Oh, but that is not good enough. First, we learn that there is another man with it as well (why?!?), but he is killed a little later. Later still we learn that Absolon is the real virus and N.D.S. is all made up. The only thing that saves this is Lambert killing Phillips with electricity, making it appear like he is having a 'quickening.' On second thought, this movie is still bad.*
Much like yesterday's film (Alone in the Dark), the movie only gets any merit because of its cast. Unlike that movie, the people they got are merely interesting, but not really all that good. The movie is so utterly generic that a couple of silly things stand out to lighten the mood (i.e. the stunt double shot). Plus, it uses that really stupid effect from the era where you shoot people walking down a street and do the 'fade out and reappear' trick. Certain people (i.e. my friend Bob) is really bothered by this, while I find it just silly. Does it really accomplish anything? Either walk down the street or don't! That really sums up the whole movie in a nutshell though: does it accomplish anything? Nope.
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Up next, I return to the world of Lucio Fulci. Will there be zombies? What do you think? Stay tuned...
