Kaiju Small Battle: The Guyver 2

After such a strange, random film like The Guyver, how do you follow it up? Can you match its sheer weirdness or silly nature? How can you top a cast of villains that includes Michael Berryman, David Gale and Jeffrey Combs? The simple answer is that you don't. Instead, you try to turn the movie into a dark, character-driven action movie. Does this change work? Find out in my review of...

Guyver: Dark Hero

The movie starts off strong with another introductory monologue explaining the events of the first movie. They immediately misspell the name of the evil corporation as Kronos, figuring that nobody ever read the company's sign in that movie. The gist of this is that The Guyver unit is still in our hero, but he has no aliens to fight. What is a boy to do?

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This question is answered quickly as a bunch of criminals break into an industrial factory to steal...something. Our hero shows up and kicks lots of ass. He also kills the men, a point for later in the movie. Unfortunately, he fails to save the poor security guards. Neither of those facts go over with his girlfriend from The Guyver (played by someone else in this stupid cameo) and he leaves to go find secrets from a cave. All of this because he watches an 'Inside Edition' rip-off.

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By the way, our hero is played by David Hayter, most notable as the voice of Solid Snake in all of the games. He is also a screenwriter, having written the majority of X-Men and a famous draft of Watchmen. It's hard to see why he moved behind the camera after a film like this.

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After being let into the site by a trusting young lady, he discovers clues to the suit and the history of the Guyvers. Of course, we don't get the real story for another hour or so though. Instead, we get tentative romance, Hayter being vague and, oh yeah, some monsters show up. It is in these scenes that we notice a dramatic jump in the fight choreography quality. The original tended to just have people fall and flail about, while Guyver 2 has our hero back-flip up a tree, leap down and dragon kick a werewolf. You know what, that should be enough to sell you on the film on its own.

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The plot gets kind of complicated and murky around the one hour mark or so. The people leading the excavation are remnants of the (Ch)Kronos Corporation and led by a man who looks like David Gale on a monitor. Incidentally, David Gale's character died in the original and Gale himself died in real life that same year. So, who is this guy supposed to be? We never really find out, but we do find a spaceship. We get some weird back-story on the Guyvers themselves, though it is still murky. Stick with the film through this part for the roughly 20 minutes or so of fighting at the end. The reveals are a little weird, but we get super Guyver Zoanoid, so who cares?!? The ending is open, but nothing has come of the series in the last 14 years. I give it a month before remake rumors pop up though.

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This movie is good, but definitely a change of pace. You have to realize that the film tries to be much more serious than the original and is a bit darker (thank you, title). The action scenes are great enough to distract you from the minimalist acting and re-use of locations. The movie is longer as well (127 minutes) and does occasionally stutter with its pacing. You may also notice plot holes at times(like how the alien guy has a normal, human kid). Overall, it is a more faithful adaptation of some manga/anime that I have never read/seen. According to Wikipedia, the film was made for less than $1,000,000 dollars as well. That is a pretty good testament to low(er) budget cinema.

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I just cannot escape 80s creature features. Considering how this movie turned out, it is a gypsy curse. Stay tuned...

Edit: Sorry about the delay on this one. Something was acting that morning and the thing did not post when I hit the button. I only realized that later.

Kaiju Small Battle: The Guyver

The 80s and 90s were weird times for cinema. Everyone and their mother was in love with rubber and Styrofoam suits. Not all of them were that great (see Friday's review), but most of them were entertaining. The catch is that they have to be played a bit ironically. Does today's film handle it right? Find out in my review of...

The Guyver

The movie begins with a silly prologue explaining that aliens named Zoanoids established Earth as a human colony. Suck on that, Christians! It also states that they made a mysterious device called The Guyver that can turn humans into weapons. So, why did you make that? We actually get the answer...in the sequel.

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In the present, a Japanese scientist has stolen the device and hides it. He is confronted by three henchmen- one of whom is Jimmy 'J.J.' Walker- in river basin. The leader comes out and- Holy Crap- it is Michael Berryman from The Hills Have Eyes (the original). The mild-mannered scientist transforms into a weird lizard-fish mutant (Of Course!), so Berryman does as well. They fight, but it is pretty one-sided. The scientist dies and turns into a skeleton instantaneously. All of this happens in the first five minutes of the movie by the way.

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We are introduced to our hero, a chump that takes Akido. His lady pal shows up, but is side-tracked by a mustachioed Mark Hamill. She is told that her dad died after reporting to the FBI about the Chronos Corporation. Just to note: the actress is Chinese. Anyhow, she gives us some exposition about how her dad was a scientist at the company. Our hero, being a complete dumb-ass, thinks that Hamill is a potential threat to his manhood. This is the guy from Laserhawk that we are talking about! Get used to our hero's dumb mindset though.

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The movie is really weird in tone and style. Basically, all of the villains are Zoanoids and turn into monsters. Most of the time, they do it off-camera as they pass objects such as lightpoles. Who do they think they are- Superman? All of the monster suits are really weird and tend to be mixes of animal traits. One of them appears to be part-werewolf, part-Gremlin and part-caveman from Deathstalker. Plus, the idea that Berryman turns into something uglier than himself is mind-boggling. The fights often resemble deleted scenes from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers...only good.

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This film continues to get weirder as it goes on. The third act involves a battle at the Corporation headquarters. All of the scientists turn into monsters and fight with the young woman over the possession of The Guyver unit. One of the scientists is played by Jeffrey Combs and he turns into a furry pinhead. The head of the company is played by David Gale, giving us a minor Re-Animator reunion. The Guyver pops out of Combs' chest and battles the villains. After dispatching them all, he goes mano-a-mano with the C.E.O. Unfortunately for our hero has to battle him after he turns into a giant alien-dragon-dinosaur thing. He pulls out a victory though, saving all of humanity...until the sequel. You can't win em all, buddy.

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Is this movie good? No. It's ridiculous, silly and random in tone. Is this movie really fun to watch? Ab-so-frigging-lutely! You have the 'Dynomite' guy turn into a fish/Predator monster and fighting a guy that makes Hakaider look big-budget (more on that movie later). It also has one of my new favorite lines of cinema- "I'll make you slap yourself into oblivion!" Classic. The thing to understand is that this movie does not take itself 100% serious and does well in that regard. They walk that fine line of being silly and being too self-referential, a line that Troma constantly trips over.

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If you liked The Guyver, but thought that it needed more video game spies, you are in luck. Stay tuned...