Streaming Standard: Expendables 4 (aka Expend4bles)

As a fan of the original Trilogy (flaws and all), I was interested in a 4th Film...when it was announced in 2014.

When it finally came out in 2023, I skipped it in Theaters.

In 2026, I finally pulled the trigger.

In Expendables 3, we got a mix of the original Cast and a bunch of younger recruits- like Ronda Rousey and (yes, really) Glen Powell- to fill things out.

Even Schwarzenegger was around and we got Harrison Ford as the new government boss.

In Expendables 4, the new Cast is all gone.  Even Wesley Snipes.

Arnie is presumably busy making his Netflix Show and Terry Crews wasn't asked back (he has a theory).

Even Antonio Banderas was replaced by...his Son (?!?) on the team.

Instead, Stallone and *most* of the old Cast are being sent on a mission by their new Boss- Andy Garcia.

A new player- Iko Uwais- has broken into 'Gaddafi's Old Base' and stolen some nuclear detonators.
He died in 2011, but sure- that's still a thing.

They also think that this is the work of a rogue agent named Ocelot (not the MGS one) who is pulling the strings.

Remember Charisma Carpenter in the first 2 Films?
Well, she's essentially been replaced by Megan Fox as Statham's Girlfriend...and also on the team.

Can we get a Comic to explain all of the changes here?  I didn't think so.

The team's mission to stop Jaa goes poorly- I won't SPOIL why- and Statham is kicked off of the team by Garcia.

In the aftermath, the remaining team- alongside Garcia- go to a ship to stop the bad guy and recover the nuke.

Fortunately, Statham meets another former Expendable- Jaa- and they end up helping the others.

Can the group save the day?
Can they ever get the CGI sky around the boat to look convincing?

To find out, stream it now...

Oh jeez, I really wanted to like you, Movie.

As stated, I like the first 3.  Hell, I own them!
They have problems- I don't pretend otherwise.

That said, this one has so many things working against it...

* Previous Cast gone with no explanation
* New Cast gets no buildup

* This random Vietnamese lady (who they say is Chinese) joins up off-screen.
* Stallone does nearly nothing here (he is older than both of my Parents TBF)
* They don't even do the Opening Action Scene right (it's crosscut with Stallone's bits)

* The twists were way too obvious

* The CGI blood is silly.
* The CGI for the night sky around the boat (and for moving vehicle shots) looks TERRIBLE.

Positives include the influx of Thai/Indonesian Action Stars, Statham still being Statham and some fun action at times.

Otherwise, this one should have either been made by 2017 (at the latest) or not at all.

Unless, of course, they could make the Film that people wanted based on the many, MANY Fake AI Trailer Images...

Really Old Man Barney!

A Film that goes from being fun to painful.  The whole thing is a mess and not even an enjoyable one.

Shudder Day: The Last Video Store (2023)

 A stupid cold won't keep me from Reviewing Films!

Since literally nobody has posted a Review for this on Shudder's site yet, I might as well be the first to talk about...

We see an unknown man putting some tapes in a bag at his home.

Later, we see a woman returning said tapes to a Video Store run and operated by a single guy.

In spite of her apathy, he shows her the Films she returned...

...but why the strange look?

Because she also brought back this strange tape and the tape player starts freaking out...

The tape in his machine has the strange effect of bringing one of the creatures from a tape to life!

This can't end well!

The duo survive the first challenge.

The Owner insists that they can only get by with the power of friendship!

He might be right.

Is this legally distinct parody going to be the end of them?

To find out, stream it now.

A Film that was clearly made with passion, but certainly not without its issues.

This Film is the culmination of a few ideas and previous projects- a 2019 Short, a 2016 Short and a 2015 Show- and it shows.

The idea- a cursed tape brings Movie Characters to life- is good.  You can do plenty with that one!

For better or worse, this one feels like a Low-Budget Horror Comedy.  All of the good parts- like the quirky charm- and bad parts- singular location- are on display here.

If they aren't for you, this one won't change your mind.

I did also appreciate all of the Poster cameos, from Manborg to The Visitor to Psycho Goreman.

I think that there was enough good here to make it worth a watch for me personally.  It had some misdirection and Plot twists that I didn't necessarily see coming.

If you're the right guy for this one, give it a look.  Don't be nervous.

A Film that makes the most of its small Budget with some good moments.  This one is definitely still too quirky for many people though.

Shudder Day: Founders Day (2023/4)

 From a Scream to a Whisper?

This is a 2024 Slasher Film that technically came out in Theaters (so Wikipedia says), but I have zero memory of it.

Since America is in a Slasher mood, let's check out...

The Film begins with establishing a few things.

A small Town is nearing a contentious Mayoral Election.
The Daughter of one of the Candidates is dating...a girl?!?  Gasp.

As they talk about how the girlfriend is going to leave, a masked man shows up and attacks the Daughter!

She's thought dead after being tossed off of a small bridge.

In the aftermath, the ire between the Candidates grows even greater!

As tensions rise, so does the body count!

People connected to the Candidates are targeted.

Things take a big turn (which I won't SPOIL) and now things are even more complicated.

Who are the killers?

Things get really tense as everyone is a suspect.

Well, not the dead people- of course.

As the finale approaches, who is behind the killings and why?
In lieu of a SPOILER, here's one of the many Character Posters for the Film that I totally picked at random.

The End.

A Film that doesn't feel all that original...but does have some stuff to say.

This one is interesting in many ways and very generic in others.

This straight-up feels like a Modern Slasher, coming out after Scream's return.  This one really focuses on the mystery over the body count, which is at least nice.

Thankfully, this is one of those Slashers where there are still a few likable/redeeming Characters and not just assholes.  There are obviously SOME, but having less of them means more.

Day has some decent kills, complete with obvious setup and a few that subvert expectations.  The Masked Killer reminds me of the last Episode of Batman: The Animated Series though.

Without any SPOILERs, this one has quite a few twists in the last hour or so and keeps you guessing somewhat.

Considering that I've seen so many low-Budget Slashers on Tubi, seeing this one rated at 4 on IMDB sems a bit low.  I'd say that a high 6 or low 7 is more accurate.

Take us away, Japanese Poster!

A Film that appeared and disappeared into Streaming Purgatory very quickly.  Even so, I think it is pretty good and definitely better than its online Rating would suggest.

Oscar Rewind: Poor Things (2023)

 Emma Stone is up for another Oscar this Year.

What was her last Oscar Film?
Well, it was...

A poor young lady named Bella is...not quite right.

Her intelligence and motor skills are far behind what they should be and she's being observed by...

Willem Dafoe.

He's something of a Scientist himself in this one and he managed to bring her back to life after a traumatic brain injury.

There's more to it, but, why SPOIL it here?

Willem Dafoe is Tommy Wiseau.

A young Doctor studying under Dafoe is brought in to help study her progress.

They want to see how fast she recovers and can be reintegrated into society.

Meanwhile, she dreams of the outside world, living all of the life she knows inside his Estate.

In comes Mark Ruffalo to sweep her off of her off-balance feet.

He takes her away to show her the World, woo her and take part in some 'furious jumping.'

If you know, you know.

However, she learns faster than anyone could have predicted.

Eventually, the journey is more about learning who she is and what she wants than his aspirations.

To find out how this goes, stream it now.

A Film that defies explanation and expectations in all of the right ways.

Right off the bat, this Film is just too damn weird for many, many people.
Even by Yorgos Lanthimos standards, mind you!

Emma Stone is amazing in this, so it is easy to see all of the hype and award wins related to this.  She fully commits to this Piano-like character that slowly grows and changes.

At one point, she's breaking dishes for fun.  Later, she's arguing about the futility of life.

She's not the only great part here, from Dafoe's calmly-insane Doctor to Ramy Yousef's understated Doctor.  There's no weak link here.

Just so you know- there's lots of implied sex and actual nudity in this one, so don't watch this in the wrong kind of mixed company.

While I don't pretend to understand every weird choice made by Lanthimos and company here, I applaud it.

It's so weird...and so good.

A Film that is probably too strange for many of you out there.  If not, enjoy this bizarre, fairy-tale like journey that feels like Wes Anderson on acid.

Streaming Standard: Ahsoka- Season 1

 A Show that I went on a long journey to finally see properly.

I first tried watching this Show shortly after it first debuted.
I felt that I was missing lots of context.

On advice from a friend, I watched ALL of Star Wars Rebels and now I'm back to properly experience...

A pair of Jedis show up near a ship transporting a New Republic Prisoner.

She's the Witch from Season 2 of The Mandalorian.

In a somewhat familiar framing, they reveal themselves to be bad guys and free her.

Avoid people that look like Vader in long hallways.

This gets the attention of Ahsoka, who brought her into custody that Episode.

She's also dealing a MacGuffin that works as a Star Map.

It seems to lead to where Ezra Bridger and Thrawn were deposited at the edge of the known Galaxy in Rebels.

This brings in Sabine, Chopper and Hera from Rebels.

No Zeb though.

When the Map is stolen by the evil Not Jedis, the duo (with her robot tutor Huyang) follow in pursuit.

This means Space Battles!

Throughout the Season, they try to work on the divide between Ahsoka and Sabine, who was once her pupil.

Can they get on the same page if it means keeping a dangerous threat locked away?

A strange course of events (conveniently at the halfway point of the Show) sends our Heroine on a journey through her past, 'reunited' in a sense with Anakin Skywalker, who she was an Apprentice to.

Will this finally let her resolve her past and face her future?

After the first fight against Baylan Skoll doesn't go her way, can our Heroine do better the next time?

Can she do better this time when the fate of the Galaxy is on the line?

To find out, stream the Show now.

A Show that definitely is more enjoyable if you 'do your homework.'

That's not to say that I didn't enjoy all of Rebels.
That's not to say that you can't enjoy the Show unless you watch all 4 Seasons of said Show.

It definitely helps though.

The Show itself has all of the positives and negatives that all of these Prestige TV Shows have.
Things look great.  Things move slowly.

Slow and steady wins the race.

I won't SPOIL how it ends, but I was hoping for slightly more resolution.  It must be a case of them being guaranteed a second Season (which was stated in 2024).

If you like Dave Filoni's many attempts to connect the dots (and characters) in Star Wars lore, you'll love this Show.
Fans of Rebels should as well.

Hopefully they weren't holding their breath for a quick turnaround (apparently, they filmed it last April) like this guy was...

Based on your love/devotion of Star Wars, your mileage will vary.  It's a good, if prolonged experience for me.

Best and Weirdest of my Shudder Year: 2025

 Do I need to keep paying for Shudder?
Yes- I get plenty of joy from it.

Not every Film is great, but which ones stood out to me this Year?

Honorable Mentions: Urban Legend, Sputnik, Urban Legends: Final Cut, Mosquito, V/H/S Halloween, Good Boy, Wolfkin.

1) The Primevals: This one was not completed when it is was supposed to be released in 1993.

Thankfully, it got a release in 2023 and ended up here.

A fun, throwback Film in many ways that I'm glad has gotten its due.

2) Frankie Freako: A fun and silly Film inspired by '80s trash.

The Director of Psycho Goreman walks that line between homage and remake in a Film that it subjectively great.

3. Monster Island: Don't let the generic Title fool you- there's more going on here.

A simple tale- two disparate people stuck on an Island with a creature- has surprising depth and pathos.  Plus, the Monster rocks.

4. Dangerous Animals: A nice surprise, with a well-known Character Actor standing out.

A pretty simple tale, but one that works when you see how dangerous the villain looks.

5. Night of the Reaper: A fun Film that plays with conventions and cliches.

What sounds like a Film you've seen 100 times takes a few clever twists and turns.

6. The Vourdalak: A crazy French Film with a weird gimmick to boot.

This freaky Vampire Film features a very unique creature and a weird story.

7. Azrael: A grim, wordless tale that definitely stands out.

This Horror Film focuses on a single woman, has no dialog and its Plot is super vague.
It shouldn't work, but it mostly does.

8. Clown in a Cornfield: Another Slasher Film the wisely plays with conventions.

We've come around again to where we have new Scream Films and new Films have to subvert THOSE tropes.  This is a great example.

There you go- 8 recommendations for Films to watch, a reminder for you if you forget when I first posted this or, you know, don't watch them.

I won't know either way, so...go nuts.

Shudder Day: It's a Wonderful Knife (2023)

 What happens if you flip a Holiday Classic into a Horror Film?

You either get Nightmare on 34th Street (real) A Christmas Murder (not real?) or...

The Town of Angel Falls is all but owned by a corrupt businessman named Henry Waters (Justin Long).

He is trying to buy up all of the small businesses, including one owned by The Cigarette Smoking Man.

On Christmas Eve, a masked killer takes out the Smoking Man and then others.

While he's trying to kill Jimmy Caruthers (son of Joel McHale), his Sister stops him.

A year later, she's miserable as nobody wants to talk about everything that happened, even the deaths.

She's depressed and throws a freak out that night.

She goes to a Bridge and wishes that she was never born.

As the pun Title would imply, this actually works.

Like George Bailey, she sees what life would be like without her.

Everyone is sad.
Justin Long is basically a despot.

Oh, and the Killer kept on killing since she wasn't there to stop him.

With a figurative ticking clock (in the form of a magical Aurora Borealis) counting down, can she learn her lesson and return to her old life?

To find out, stream it now.

A fun Film which takes a familiar Plot in some new directions.

A Slasher Film version of It's A Wonderful Life seems like the most and least obvious thing to do.  At worst, you just use the pun Title for the 3,663rd Killer Santa Film.

This is a good use, however, as the Plot mirrors the Classic just enough and still does its own thing.

You get a neat looking killer, who apparently uses the original design for Ghostface's robes.
You get familiar Actors like McHale, Long and Katharine Isabelle.
You get some good, exciting kills that don't linger on the brutality like some other Films.

If you're one of those people offended by the presence of Gay Characters, you are warned.

For everyone else, it is a Film that somehow works as a good Comedy at points, Horror Film at others and a Drama in the time leftover.

It won't replace your Classics, but it is a nice addition.  Just like Henry, you can trust my judgement...

A fun twist on a Christmas Classic.  Time will tell if this one joins those Films in your Holiday rotation.

Shudder Day: Children of the Corn (2020)

 Why let a Global Pandemic stop you from making yet another Remake?

This is the 2nd Remake of Children of the Corn, which was shot in 2020.
It was technically released in 2023, which makes that even more pointless.

A strange kid walks out of a Cornfield and talks to his Sister.

After that, he kills the Adults in the House.

A bit later, a hostage situation involving the armed kid ends with the adults pumping in a gas used to knock out cattle.

All of the kids die.

The girl outside (Eden) is a bit radicalized goes a bit crazy.

The corn in the Town is dying.
The Adults plan to take a Government subsidy to make up for the loss.

The kids in Town- especially Eden- are upset about not being heard and/or being ignored.

Eden leads a revolt- a bloody one!

Off-screen, she managed to capture all of the Adults and kills a few as well.

Our good Lead- Boleyn- tries to make peace, but the kids keep up the killing.

Can Eden be stopped before all of the Adults are killed?
Is she full-on crazy?

Or is she too far gone?

Once you spill blood, it's hard to stop...or so I hear, if any Police might be reading this.

To find out what happens, stream it now.

The Film has moments.  There is some good Drama here.

I wanted to like it.

My complaint about later Corn Films is that they don't feel like they belong.  Whether they didn't have corn or didn't have killer kids, something was off.

This has both.

I just wish that this was better.

Our new villain Eden is good.  I don't necessarily know how deadly she would be, but I liked her in the role.

Boleyn here isn't bad, but I just didn't buy into how she stood there so long and let things happen.

The biggest thing is that they just gloss over key details- like how they captured all of the Adults- and then kind of disappointed with the reveal involving He Who Walks (Not Behind the Rows in this one).

This feels closer to the Book in a good way, but still isn't as good as it could be.
This German Title, however, is fun.

A Film that is both true to the premise...and also not.  I want to give points for effort, but the results are only so-so.