4th of Joy?: Uncle Sam (1996)

Technical issues delayed this review, but I'll be damned if I put this movie off for another year.  Today's film is Uncle Sam, a movie that I have avoided for many reasons.  The main reason: it is too obvious.  I mean, think about it- 4th of July = Uncle Sam.  Too easy, you know?  Well, I'm going to put it off no longer.  Even though this Review will be up after July 4th, I'm still American and this is still a pretty notable (albeit Cult) film.  The movie tells the tale of a crazy, burned up man that kills people.  Unlike that other crazy, burned up man that kills people, this one does NOT do it in their dreams.  Instead, he dons the garish costume of a wartime piece of pop art gone awry.  There is more craziness beneath the surface here though.  The Writer- Larry Cohen.  This is the man that gave us killer babies and the film about a man who filmed a murder...and then made a film about someone else committing said murder.  Seriously, Special Effects is crazy!  This is also the final film (so far) Directed by William Lustig, the man behind Maniac and Maniac Cop.  Three Films about a scarred Cop and one about a scarred Soldier- I sense a pattern.  Don't cry for Mr. Lustig though- he runs Blue Underground (who also released this film on DVD).  Is this film a Cult Hit worth notice or a silly, silly film?  To find out, read on...

A Soldier is found in the burned up wreckage of his Helicopter by this young Soldier and William Smith (one of the most prevalent 'That Guy From That Thing' Actors of the 70s and 80s).  However, he kills them both (aw!)...

...and is brought back to the United States- just in time for July 4th (unlike this Review).  His widow is...happy?  His nephew is however, so that makes things alright.

With the body back in town, we now begin the 'Set up why Uncle Sam Will Kill People' Scenes.  Notable amongst them is future (as this is 1996) George W. Bush impersonator Timothy Bottoms.  He plays a guy who dodged the Draft, which is totally not ironic in hindsight.

I bet you thought his most patriotic film was DC 9/11: Time of Crisis.

'Chef' is here, proving that he can be in a better Horror Film than Return to Sleepaway Camp.  Hi, Children!

Future victims include Drunk Teens who burn American flags in a Cemetery, a perverted Uncle Sam on stilts and...

...future President Bush!  This is the real Death of a President!

If you want to know how he knows to kill this guy (based on what only the lead kid knows), you will be...confused.

This leads to a long sequence of a Parade and Sam killing people.  Naturally, this leads to...

A melodramatic Scene explaining the bad things that Sam did before he left.  Who made this, Tyler Perry?!?

We later learn that Lead Kid and this blind kid (who was burned by fireworks a year earlier) share a psychic link with Sam because...the Plot says so.  Seriously, that's all I've got.

Neat Shot though.

A Chekhov's Cannon takes out Sam (the second time) and blows up the House.  That's what you get for filling your house with leaking Gas Canisters and leaving all six of your Stoves on.  The End.

This Holiday is weird and silly.  The Premise is kind of unique, but hits similar notes to Lustig's Maniac Cop films.  This one is different enough to not feel like just the same film (as opposed to Rumplestiltskin).  If you go into films like this looking for lots of gore, this does not disappoint.  There is A TON of random kills in this film.  One lady is killed after discovering a severed head in a grill- why not?!?  If you go into this looking for a balanced and cohesive Plot, you won't quite get that.  Don't get me wrong- Larry Cohen's Script is fun, but odd.  There is no good explanation for the whole Psychic Link thing.  Honestly, the film could work without it well enough, but it is what it is.  Uncle Sam is not a bad film, but I hesitate to call it a good film either.  It is chock full of recognizable faces in small roles- including Robert Forster as a Senator- and chock full of gore.  If they were aiming for something more than a strange, Cult Film, they didn't achieve it.  If that was their goal, then good job.  Take us away, Peeping Sam (on Stilts, no less!)...

Up next, let's hop back to the 1970s and cover a TV Movie.  Before they were a great Disney Cartoon, they were killing random people in the Desert.  Stay tuned...

New Goodness: Maniac (2012)

I'm still supposed to hate Remakes right?  Today's film is Maniac, which shows that Remakes can actually be good and do their own thing.  As a side note, remember that 1939's Wizard of Oz, 1956's The Ten Commandments and 1960's Spartacus are all Remakes.  The films were made to take advantage of new technology- e.c. Technicolor, Sound recording- and one was even made by the same guy who made the original.  Is the Nic Cage version of Bangkok Dangerous (by the same Director) good?  No, but it is fitting with history.  Now where was I?  Oh right- Maniac.  1980's Maniac is a masterwork film in the vein of Peeping Tom and Psycho.  What makes the film really stand out is how dark, violent and jarring the whole thing is (especially for its day).  Right when Slasher Films were starting to make it big, this one came out to shock and offend.  It certainly did that, famously-offending the late Roger Ebert.  That's part of the appeal of the film- it just goes for it.  The question is this: in a time with gorier and gorier films, can it still shock?  That's the challenge undertaken by the makers of the 2012 version, which we in America are just getting now.  The original's Director is now a Producer- possibly in name only, but I can't confirm/deny it- and the man who made P2 is the Director.  Since Joe Spinell is long gone (and missed), we have a brand new lead: Elijah Wood.  Is he up to the task?  To find out, read on...

I won't SPOIL too much here, as the film does take some derivations from the original.  As such, there are some unique things still.

For example, the film is shot almost entirely from Frank's P.O.V., even making creative use of mirrors and other reflective surfaces.

Frank is a killer, but he doesn't really want to be.  Unfortunately for everyone else, his body is not exactly compliant with his wishes.

Just to note: if you don't want to kill strangers, maybe don't go out on dates with them.

Frank Zito has all sorts of problems.  He's a rough, rough character- that's just when he's NOT killing him.

His life changes when a mysterious woman starts taking photos of his mannequins.  That's one change they made- he makes mannequins, as opposed to being a photographer-, but it doesn't really change things in any major way.

As a side note, it would have been nice to get Caroline Munro in for a Cameo or something.  C'est la vie!

As for Frank's private life, he doesn't exactly stop killing people.

I was hoping for a retread of the 'Subway Chase' kill which provided me with a Deep Blue Sea Moment.  Sadly, it is not the same.  How dare you not pander to my exact wishes, movie?!?

In a truly-inspired moment, Frank and the Photographer go on a date to see...'The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari?'  Why can't I meet (and not try to kill) a woman like this?  Chicks like seeing Goblin in Concert, right?

Anyhow, Frank's delusions take on a freaky demeanor.  If you like stuff like this, the scene is just great.

Frank has plenty of company in his Apartment, at least.  Aside from the freaky hallucinations, the smell and the flies, they seem like nice company.

Who will live and who will die?  Will Frank find true love?  Will this random guy they introduce right before the Climax have a happy ending?

Okay, that one's a gimme.  I mean, really now...

I wouldn't DARE SPOIL the ending in any major way.  I will say that they didn't make it *exactly* like the original, but kept a certain amount of its spirits.  It's how you update a film without changing too late/losing too much.  The End.

You'd have to be crazy not to like it.  First- let's get the obvious stuff out of the way.  I wish that the film was a completely unique story.  I'm still not fond of Remakes for Remake's Sake.  That said, the film works on its own while referencing some of the best moments from William Lustig's film.  They emulate the poster- Frank holding a woman's head- and other parts like that.  There's a funny bit where the date describes what she thought that Frank would look like.  Her description: that of original star Joe Spinell.  I'm sure he appreciates that, wherever he is.  There are some scenes that didn't make the cut, for better or for worse.  One of the film's most famous moments has been excised.  To be fair, the scene in the film is more of an aside than an important one, so it could be cut without losing much.  I didn't see Tom Savini's name in the Credits anywhere, but they got someone good to fill in: Greg Nicotero.  Fans of The Walking Dead should know that name quite well and he makes the gore look quite gross.  If anything, it is *too* realistic and it makes some of the gore look odd in comparison to what we usually expect.  The real star here is Elijah Wood, who balances Frank's human side and killer side.  He feels like a truly deep and fleshed out character here.  You want him to succeed in being better, while also fearing the evil he will do.  Wood played a psycho killer in Sin City, but that guy was intentionally-unemotional.  His Frank Zito is quite the opposite, making the performance feel fresh still.  If you *only* know Wood from The Lord of the Rings, be prepared for a surprise.  If you can handle the rough subject matter and gore, I highly recommend this film.  Since I ended the last review this way, it only seems fair...

Next up, a Korean film that truly embodies the 'Mondo Bizarro film.'  In other words, it's weird, confusing and disappointing in many ways.  Stay tuned...

Copland: Maniac Cop 3

Let's get this out of the way: I have a good reason for not doing Maniac Cop 2.  Well, I'll tell you.  You see, that film has Bruce Campbell as one of the leads- carrying over his role from the first film- but kills him off about thirty minutes in.  Why?  There is no good reason.  Why would I give this film a chance then?  Because it has voodoo!  It also stars sub-par actor turned arch-conservative Robert Davi and Robert Z'Dar...not like he had anything better to do.  If your career includes Soultaker, Samurai Cop and three Maniac Cop films, you have no better options!  Another carryover is Larry Cohen, who again wrote the screenplay.  What can I say- he's a quirky guy!  Series director William Lustig is also on board to finish out the series...until he just walked off the set one day.  Considering his last real film work was directing Uncle Sam in 1997, I'm going to go ahead and say that he made a bad call.  Speaking of bad calls, shine up your billy club for my review of...

The film begins with the titular character walking down the street and revealing the knife that is hidden in his billy club.  As my friend- and unofficial co-reviewer for the film- said at the time 'it's not exactly a hidden weapon if you have it out all the time!'  He kills a random guy and gets off his head, leading to the introduction of Davi's character.  He takes the whole 'headless corpse' thing pretty well, although one rookie does vomit at the site.  Back at the precinct, he bonds with a lady cop over at the shooting gallery.  This is Robert Davi, of course, so this scene is bereft of passion and chemistry.  We are treated to the site of a weird voodoo man showing how he brought back the undead cop to life.  Thanks, but I don't really care.  A bit later, a crazy man robs a convenience store and it's...Jackie Earl Haley!  Holy crap, this movie just got good!  Haley plays a crazed, bearded man who is robbing the store to get the drugs.  A crazy, unbalanced guy- man, Haley has range!  One highlight involves a man flying upwards into the air after Haley fires a shotgun blast at the ground.  Good-bye, physics.  

 The lady cop from before shows up and comes up with the brilliant plan of climbing onto the roof, dropping through a glass skylight and...failing to do anything before the bad guy sees her.  Yeah, she gets shot, but not before wounding Haley and killing the attendant, who was apparently in on the thing.  Our hero is struck by this personal blow to...this woman he talked to in that one scene and hit on.  He gets over it pretty quickly, though and starts hitting on the lady doctor at the hospital where the woman is staying.  For some reason, the villainous cop has taken a shine to her after hearing about how she was gunned down in the line of duty and wants himself a lady.  We're taking plot points from Frankenstein Created Woman now, huh?  By the way, random cameo from Ted Raimi as a news reporter covering the story.  He shows his devotion to her by killing a random car jacker in sensational fashion.  He tosses the guy into the air and shoots him like skeet.  That's... sure something.  He also kills some random people in the hospital, including the jerk doctor who gives up on helping the lady doctor.  He kills him by over-using the defibrillator pads on him- ha ha ha irony.

Our hero does not take the news about them giving up on helping the lady cop.  That does not stop him from starting a romance with the doctor still, nor does it really cause him to raise his voice all that much.  Incidentally, the robber is kept in the same hospital.  Yeah, that's a bad idea.  Speaking of bad ideas, Robert Forster shows up for one scene as the replacement doctor, but is killed mere minutes later by the undead cop via exposure to an x-ray machine...for about five minutes.  The cop also sets Haley free and arms him, setting up a pointless action scene.  Sadly, the man is killed while hiding in a toilet stall.  Great- now I'm just stuck with Davi.  Anyhow, our hero and the lady follow the cop after he steals the lady cop's body & heads into the tunnels under the hospital.  Apparently, they connect all the way to an abandoned church now occupied by the voodoo man.  The ritual to resurrect the woman ends in defeat, so the priest gets a stomach full of lead.  This leads to a big, fiery climax involving the titular cop being lit on fire!  As our heroes drive away, however, he shows up again & chases them...while still on fire!  He does the entire chase scene while on fire, in fact!  It ends after he gets his flaming arm cut off and he crashes into a parked van.  The End.

This movie is...well, not that good.  The story is stupid, the acting is not that great and even the maniac cop is barely shown in full-screen.  Clearly, the budget was lower here as he is often shown in silhouette or in shadows.  How can you make a film about a mutilated Robert Z'Dar and not show me the goods?!?  Even so, this film has a pulpy air to it that makes it hard to stay mad at.  It's like that weird-looking puppy that breaks everything- part of you just has to love it!  Haley is great fun in the role and Z'Dar does what little the script asks of him just fine.  It's fitting that we get a Ted Raimi cameo, since the first film has Sam Raimi in those duties.  In fact, that actually is a good symbol of this movie.  We start out with Sam and Bruce Campbell, lose both of them and end up with just Ted.  Sorry, buddy- you're still the best victim in Midnight Meat Train.

Up next, I close out another Cop series with the third film in the Cyborg Cop series.  More robots!  More kung-fu action!  More fanny pack action!  Stay tuned...

A Rare Case: Maniac Cop

I honestly like this movie, but I hate the lack of care given to the movie's menu.

Yeah, how long did that take you guys? Your $20 DVD burning program was sure put to the test there. 

Incidentally, it's not visible in still-frame, but the center picture is a minute-long clip from the movie...that loops.

You'll have to excuse the low-tech approach to this one, by the way, as this was before I got VLC Media Player to get my screen captures.

Up next, I cover a pair of movies that defy both logic and conventions. These things are truly Rare. Stay tuned...