Mondo Trivia: Mutant X

* In the pilot episode/movie, the evil Warhol villain kills the genetics company owner because the man was about to reveal the secret of their work to the world.  The actor playing that part was Cedric Smith, a character actor most notable for doing the voice of Professor Xavier on X-Men: The Animated Series!

Was that planned?  Was it happenstance?  I want to know!

Syndicated Incorporated: Mutant X

After the success of Blade and X-Men, Marvel had some money to toss around.  To that end, Avi Arad (their go-to guy for live-action Marvel goodness) produced this show...

It's basically X-Men, but filmed in Canada and made on a tv budget.  A key difference is that mutants are apparently the subject of genetic experimentation and not some 'X-Gene.'  An evil guy who looks like Andy Warhol (seriously- that's your villain?!?) wants to track all of the escaped subjects down to create a super-human army.  Standing in his way is 'That British Actor You Know, But Can't Recall Anything He's Actually Been In.'  You know the guy.  He has a crack team of people to fight back against the man and his agents.  They have such powers as...
* The ability to turn intangible or turn super-hard.        
* The ability to shoot lightning...once an hour.  Really.
* A woman who can move small objects with her mind.  
* A woman with the power to 'influence emotions'

There is one important thing to know about what dates the show: The Matrix.  This show was made in 2001 and attempts to copy the 'wire-fu' that helped make the film a hit.  It's really freaking blatant!  Case in point: one of the mutants has 'tiger powers.'  What does that mean?  It means that she can flip around, do kung-fu and act like Neo.  Oh and her eyes sometimes look like that of a tiger.  In the two-part pilot/movie, the majority of the action involves fist fighting and kicking, as opposed to powers.  Especially when it comes to the 'tiger' woman, whose sole powers involve being able to be all Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

*

There's really not much more to say.  It's a fairly stock action show from late '90s/early '00s.  It's like any other show of its type- i.e. Renegade, Highlander- just with some low-fi effects shots and wire-fu.  Does it match up to the X-Men name?  Not even close.  With that said, you can do worse for brain-free entertainment though.  It's pretty much all fluff and no substance.  Zap me away, Lightning Dude!

Up next, thanks to the benefits of YouTube, I can bring you a lost tv movie/backdoor pilot.  It takes place in the future time of...2010.  Stay tuned...

Syndicated Incorporated: Robocop- Crash and Burn

How much Robocop is too much Robocop?  Well, we're in the final stretch of the Robocop: Prime Directives miniseries so let's wrap this up...

* To recap, evil Dr. Kaydick (pronounce it slowly to get the pun) is going to unleash a terrible computer virus into SAINT, the program that will soon automate the city.
* Robocop's former partner has been turned into a Robocop himself and is forcibly-working for Kaydick.
* His adult son has finally learned about his dad's identity/fate and is going to help them stop the bad guy.  Phew.

The story starts out slow with people standing around and talking about what they're going to do.  After about ten minutes, all hell breaks loose and there's really no major respite for the next 80 minutes.  Hey guys, ever hear about pacing?

One odd bit involves some comedy.  It features a janitor fixing up OCP's glass doors and complaining about how people keep breaking them (see all three previous parts).  What's the pay-off?  You guessed it...

Inside the building, Robocable and Kadick (with the daughter/virus host in tow) go one way, while Robocop, the hacker lady and the son go another.  They share the same destination: OCP's top floor and the home of SAINT.

*

Another odd bit involves Robocop's talk about not killing.  His method: crashing cars and shooting cops in the kneecaps.  How long before that rule is broken by the lady?  About three minutes into the interior fight scene.  Oh well.

Kaydick/Cable find the former Mrs. Cable and drag her along to open the doors.  Likewise, our heroes grab the corrupt President of OCP (after he killed the Executive Board) to do the same.  The trip is rough, especially when Mrs. Cable decides to badmouth her now-cyborg ex-husband.  Does Robocable have to choke a bitch?

Finally, at the top, lots of action goes down.  OCP security have a shoot-out with Robocable, but Robocop intervenes.  How do they pay him back?  By blowing them both up with a grenade.  They eventually get up and fight some more.  It's a race to get to the top before SAINT is in control of the city.  Get out your stopwatches!

Ultimately, Kaydick gets the virus (it's called LEGION, by the way- ha ha) uploaded, but gets defeated by his former wife (aka hacker lady).  Something weird goes down and they both get digitized away.  Why?  I'm honestly not sure.  Down at floor level, the OCP President gets hurt and ends up in the lobby.  He tries to drag himself away from the automated lasers, but...

Damn!  It hurts even worse when he realizes what happened!

Yeah, he dies.  Is anybody really crying about this?  Nah.  Robocable seemingly-kills Robocop before they set off the EMP bomb from Part 3 (serious Chekhov's Gun action here!).  Robocop survives however and is left with a programmed message from Cable.  Apparently, he shut off his buddy, which made the EMP not destroy his circuits.  Um, does it work that way?

With the day saved, Robocop walks off into the sunset...to not do anything for the last ten years since they made this.

Is this a good miniseries?  Well, yes and no.  It definitely could be trimmed down a bit, but certain things are accepted when you're talking about stuff like this.  I wish they could have kept a little continuity with the casting here (this is, after all, the FOURTH actor to play Alex Murphy/Robocop).  Apparently, they tried to get the guy from the 1994 show, but something got in the way.  One thing to note: this thing randomly features shocking and dramatic death.  There's no build-up; it just happens.  Recall the guy split by lasers in Part 2?  It makes things interesting, but is still pretty damn weird.  You can track this whole thing down on Netflix or in a video store...assuming you still have any around you.  If you like the character, it's worth seeing.  If not, you may not make it through the whole thing.

Up next, I take a look at a syndicated action show that tries to be X-Men...on a tv budget.  This should be interesting.  Stay tuned...

Syndicated Incorporated: Robocop- Resurrection

We're getting into the home-stretch here and the plot is not getting any simpler.  For those who need a recap, here's one...

* OCP controls the city and a (more) corrupt executive has taken over by killing the board.  He is planning to introduce the SAINT program to control every building in the city.  Robocop's old partner was killed in a battle between Robocop and a crazed, gun-wielding thug named Bone Machine.  He was brought back to life as a second Robocop & battles our hero.  They join forces, however, and fight back against OCP.

Our story picks up right there as Robocop is injured, requiring Robocable (that's his name) to go into a five minute fight scene.  He blasts a lot of cops, but they are wearing entire suits made out of kevlar (pretty much) and just get knocked down.  The tech thieves take Robocop to their lair and, upon his return, Robocable is defeated with...sledgehammers.  An Evil Dead effect shows up and scares them away, however, and reveals himself to be...that guy from every syndicated sci-fi show you've ever seen.

The man reveals himself to be a former scientist for OCP who went a bit crazy.  He re-programs Robocable to fight for him.  Meanwhile, the women restore Robocop to prime operation condition since he saved the lead woman's daughter.  Over at OCP, the new CEO is a bit crazy and puts SAINT into operation, even as it kills a window washer by accident.  Eventually, they find where Robocop is and send their troops to attack.  When they get there, the bad guy shows up as well, running down one of the cops in his de-stealthed truck.  Ouch.

This leads to a big battle between Robocop (plus two of the women) and the cops.  The blond bad guy kidnaps the little girl from Part 2 since *gasp* he's her father.  He steals her away during the fight because she's...a robot or something.  It's odd, okay.  How do the other women do?  They get shot and die.  Oh yeah, I should also mention the brief showdown between Robocop and Robocable.  The latter fires two shots at the woman and Robocop intercepts the bullets with one of his own.  See for yourself...

*

*

Yeah, that makes sense.  Anyhow, the cops get defeated and Robocable gets revenge on the cop from Tekwar by blowing his hand off and smashing his head in with a hammer.  The evil man tries to use some data hidden in his daughter to make some sort of EMP attack, but is stopped by the woman.  The only one left around is Jason Murphy, who has a bit of breakdown when he learns about his dad's existence as Robocop.  He manages to talk his son down from detonating an EMP bomb, but OCP ends up thinking that our hero is dead.  To be continued...

This is a definite improvement over Part 2's obsession with flashbacks and weird plot continuations.  This has a lot more action, if even the plot gets kind of freaky.  It's what the miniseries has been building up to and makes me optimistic for Part 4.

Up next, Part 4 and the conclusion.  Who will live?  Who will die?  Who will get the 'Lucas treatment' this time?  Stay tuned...

Syndicated Incorporated: Robocop- Meltdown

We're back with the delayed Part 2 of the series.  For those new readers, here is what you need to know:

* It's 10 years later and Robocop is considered obsolete.
* OCP has become a mainstream company that bought out the police.
* A whole slew of complex relationships are here, including Robocop's son being an executive at OCP & his former partner being the ex-husband of another OCP executive.
* At the end of the episode, Robocop's friend has died, but has been taken into the Robocop program himself!

Now, on to the action...

* A group of female cyber-thieves break into OCP to steal some files.  The cops bust in, so the women turn on the company security.  This leads to a man being cut in half by lasers.  This part is looking up now!

* Robocop beats up the women, but loses in the end.  This is part of the whole 'Robocop is not advanced enough' storyline.  This is not aided by the new Robocop (aka Robo-Cable) being sent to hassle the head of OCP, leading him to be an outlaw.

* All of this leads to a face-off between Robocop and Robo-Cable which...well, does not end well for our hero.

* This pushes our hero underground and away from what he feels comfortable.  Meanwhile, the program to computer control the OCP building- as the start of a citywide program- keeps going.

* After a disastrous second battle, our hero manages to turn Robo-Cable to his side by accessing his remaining memories.  They become buddies and shoot up the corrupt police officers.  Don't worry- they're wearing vests.  Oh yeah, the lead officer is played by the partner from the Tekwar series.

* All is not well, however, as the corrupt executive at OCP (well, the one they focus on) kills all of the CEOs in their office.  Dun dun dun!

Up next, the series continues.  Who will live?  Who will die?  Stay tuned...

Syndicated Incorporated: Robocop- Dark Justice

This is going to be a unique entry in my fairly-new update series: a four-part one.  You see, in the year 2000, those wacky Canadians made a mini-series called Robocop: Prime Directives.  Over in the states, this was released on DVD as four separate movies.  Wait- there's four of them and four segments.  I wonder...

This first part introduces us to the situation we are in.  10 years have gone by since the last movie and Detroit was enjoying a bit of peace.  Unfortunately, crime has made a big comeback, mostly in part to a man/machine known as Bone Machine.  Our hero is still about, although his technology has not been improved in quite a while.  This is due to the company that made him being a weapons manufacturer that prefers to have its own bought-out police force.  That can't be good, can it?

A lot of the film is built around setting up the intertwined relationships of the cast.  See if you can follow this...

*John Cable is the ex-partner of Alex Murphy (aka Robocop) and the ex-husband of...
*Sara Cable, a CEO at the company and new 'friend' of....
*Jason Murphy, the son of Alex Murphy and newest executive of the company.

What are the odds of any of this ever happening?  About 1,000,000 to one, but...whatever. 

The actual story is decent- although it is plagued by a litany of flashbacks setting up the Murphy/Cable relationship- and moves at a steady pace.  Given the budget, the thing is built around two big action sequences: one at the beginning and one at the end.  There is a minor mystery with the reveal of who Bone Machine is, but that is a secondary element to it all.  Ultimately, the whole thing ends with a major character being killed, but with a teaser of thing coming back as a second Robocop.  Color me curious.

Overall, a decent effort to bring a sci-fi action film to a syndicated television environment.  If you can get past the fact that our lead is clearly not Peter Weller in all of the flashbacks, you can have a good time.  Does it top the original two films?  No.  Does it top the last film?  By far.

Part 2 is coming down the pipe soon enough.  All I can tell you is this: Meltdown.  Stay tuned...

Syndicated Incorporated: Cobra

A television show starring Michael Dudikoff- sign me up!  But, before that, a bit of history.

This series was made in the mid-1990s and was originally supposed to be called 'Viper.'  However, Dodge through their car licensing behind another show, complicating the mess.  That show got the name Viper (future entry if it ever gets a DVD release) and left this show in its wake.  Of course, Cobra bombed and Viper managed to get 78 episodes.

The show is about Dudikoff playing Jason 'Scandal' Jackson, a Navy SEAL who quit when he was told to blow up a building full of people in order to get some bad guys.  Of course, they don't show us this.  Instead, we get an hilarious shot of our hero with a fake nose, a mustache and a mullet!  Why?  Because he gets shot in the face in the next scene and taken to the hospital.  Thanks to some brutal doctors, he turns into...his normal face!  Oh, the horror.

He is recruited to work for an organization called COBRA, which helps those who cannot afford help.  The place is run by the bald guy from Masters of the Universe (aka James Tokan), a man who dresses in nothing but bright suits and vests.  Good thing those won't be dated in minutes!  He also works with a young woman to work with who is the 'I'm really smart, but also approachable' type.  Don't you just love cliches?

This show is nothing but action cliches, although it not is terrible.  The fact that Dudikoff spends a whole episode wearing a white jacket and red shirt- that is terrible!  Honestly, it is worth a look just for the sight of Dudikoff's mullet!

Next up, an icon of 1980s action cinema comes to the small screen.  Unfortunately, it is Canadian!  Stay tuned...

Syndicated Incorporated: TekWar

In today's segment, we talk about something that was very big for a little while and then faded into obscurity.  Besides Greg Evigan, we are also going to talk about the television series based on William Shatner's novels in which he starred.  They also had four made-for-tv movies, but that is for another day.

Tekwar

Basically, it is a pretty stock future.  Fancy gadgets, fast cars and holograms, etc.  What is unique, however, is the idea of Tek.  Basically, it is like logging into the internet, only it zaps your neural cortex and gives a drug-like effect.  Mind you, for many people, that describes the actual internet, but that's beside the point.

Our hero is a tough-talking, play-by-his-own-rules detective who works for a private security firm run by a billionaire.  Said billionaire is played by Shatner himself, clad in as many brightly-colored, overly-patterned shirts you could possibly imagine.  For him, the future looks a lot like very-dated 90s fashion!

The guy has all of the usual trappings too, including the smart girlfriend and the black partner.  If you expect anything other than cliches here, you will be somewhat disappointed.

One issue with the series in what I watched of it were references that are never quite explained.  For example, they refer to some big battle in Brazil in the 2nd episode, which I imagine is a bigger plot point in the books.  It's not terrible, just a little distracting.

If you like fun cliches and action, do yourself a favor and check out this series on DVD.  It won't blow you away, but it won't really disappoint either.

Next up, a tv show starring a staple of late '80s/early '90s action: Michael Dudikoff.  Unfortunately, it got a bit upstaged by a now-equally obscure television show.  Stay tuned...

Syndicated Incorporated: Conan

Conan has been done in several forms, be it books, movies, cartoons and even an MMORPG. Hell, the guy has been done in so many medias that he has been done by Ron Perlman, which is sort of like a rite of passage for many characters. In this case, however, I am talking about the live-action series done about him in 1997.

The show has a pretty basic premise and stays close to the books/movies' themes. Conan is a man who wants to be king, battles an evil wizard (a different one though) and has to regain his kingdom. There are some differences though.

For example, Conan is not a complete dick. However, his niceties are thrown off by his near-incomprehensible accent! He has a group of warriors that fight with him, although none of them are from the books. Also, as you can see, he has a midget with him.

The show never strayed far from the norm and did not do much to distinguish itself from its obvious inspirations: Hercules- The Legendary Journeys and Xena- Warrior Princess. In fact, it only ran one season (or 22 episodes), which was the same fate as Young Hercules (a future entry)- although that show made 51 of them.

If you like fantasy stories and syndicated-style action, it's worth a look. It's not the best show that you will see, but it gets the job done. Besides, it has Michael Berryman dressed as a wizard in its finale. What more can you ask for?

Up next, William Shatner turns his books into action-show fare. How does that turn out? Stay tuned...

Syndicated Incorporated: Jack of All Trades

Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell have always been an eccentric duo that achieved great success. In fact, many times when the chance for a pairing has fallen through, the product was not as successful- i.e. Darkman. So, in the year 2000, after the success of Hercules and Xena, the pair made a new show...

This tongue-in-cheek show starred Bruce as an American spy who was sent to a tiny island that was ruled by the French. His job: to put a stop to Napoleon's occupation and end his global land grab. Teaming with a hot British lady, he takes on the mantle of The Dragoon, a Scarlet Pimpernel-like character. Okay, it is the Scarlet Pimpernel, albeit with Bruce's witticisms. In spite of being the only man with both an American accent and that damn chin, nobody figures out his dual identity.

The key to the show is its oddball nature. For example, the pair of heroes get information from a talking parrot with a French accent. One story involved Blackbeard (!) kidnapping Ben Franklin in order to have him make a super-weapon based on the kite. The coup de grace though is the casting of Verne Troyer as Napoleon.

Unfortunately, I used the word 'success' so many times in my header as ironic juxtaposition as this show failed to grasp an audience and got only one season. It did get a DVD release, which is more than I can say for Manimal.

Next up, an iconic barbarian as filtered through a low-budget action show in syndication. Will this be gory or god-awful? Stay tuned...

Syndicated Incorporated: Cleopatra 2525

Syndicated action/adventure shows had their heyday quite a while, but continue to come back every so often. When one of them does well (i.e. V.I.P.), everyone thinks that the genre is back and makes 600 more! Ultimately, this genre is more defined by the losers (Beastmaster) than the winners (Hercules: The Legendary Journeys). As such, I will cover some of those, be them good, bad or simply misunderstood. Let's start out strong with...

Cleopatra 2525

The show is set in the Dystopian future where robots control the surface and humanity lives underground. I know what you're wondering and 'yes, this is ripping off The Matrix.' This came out in 2000, so it was early to the party. Our heroes are Sarge, a tough blond woman, Elle, a sassy black woman and 'Cleopatra.' Her back-story is that she went into surgery for a breast augmentation in 2001, had a weird reaction to the anesthetic and was kept frozen for 500 years. For no apparent reason, she wakes up when our two heroes shows up and goes along for the ride. Incidentally, she is in a lab with a cat man (hello, Wing Commander) and a snake person. They only show up for this brief bit, so this is sort of a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment.

So our heroes are fighting for mankind's survival and restoration of power. This is done by jumping through tunnels, only stopping themselves with wrist-mounted web launchers a la Spider-Man. How do their shoulders stay in their sockets for this? Given the time and the budget, the blue screen effects are terrible, as are the post-production laser effects. These are in nearly every scene, so get used to them. Oh yeah, they are also led by a mysterious voice who talks through an earpiece that Elle has. Since this show was canceled, I doubt the pay-off is really there. Because of that, I will instead end with this out-of-context image of our lead heroine looking like a blow-up doll.

Mondo Bizarro- keeping it classy since February 2009. Up next, Bruce Campbell proves that lightning can only strike once. Stay tuned...