Friday, March 31, 2023

Marvel-ously Misleading Cover Art: The Green Woman (2022)

 Marvel's venture into 'TV' Shows has had a mixed result with its broad fan base.

That said, it still got enough attention to inspire people to make misleading Art to promote their Films.

In this case, let's look at 2022's The Green Woman...

...do I even have to say anything here?

It's not Satire (like maybe that Ghost Rider one was).
It's not an Homage (the material isn't old enough for that).

Honestly, is this legal?
Does Disney just not see this a threat enough to care?

In case you're wondering, the original Promotional Art released for this is just a *bit* different ...

As you can see, they didn't *accidentally* make a Film with a green Character that looked like She-Hulk.

Whoever distributes this (and sold Streaming rights to Tubi) sure knew what they were doing.

Thursday, March 30, 2023

Tubi Thursday: Metamorphosis (2022)

 Sorry, Franz Kafka Fans- this one is not for you.

Instead of being about a man being turned into a bug, this Film is about China ripping off Jurassic World.

In a Cold Open, a random member of the Cleaning Staff wanders into a lab- after finding a key code- and ends up being killed by a T-Rex-like creature that can turn invisible.

An Invisible Dinosaur?  It's the callback to M.A.N.T.I.S. that I dreamed would finally come!
A joke nearly 14 years in the making.  Worth the wait!
To save money, this Jurassic World-inspired Film is set entirely in a Lab and the adjacent Building.
No Park and a runtime that barely breaks an hour!

Seriously, this is 72 minutes WITH CREDITS.
We get a weird mix of Horror and Comedy- sometimes at the same time.

For instance, they tease showing this lady in the Shower as the Dinosaur approaches (somehow being silent!) and, of course, you see nothing.

The Dinosaur is distracted by the running water, choosing to drink it like a house cat.

How funny and...it just ate 3 people!
They escape the main part of the Building and end up in the Forest that I'm 99% sure was in Land Shark.

In this case, they actually find a giant snake...and then a second one, with horns to boot.

Well, now that we have 2 creatures, I wonder what will happen...
What a shock- the Film has the 2 creatures do battle...with about 10 minutes left in the Film.

By the way, this is an action shot, as opposed to a neat DeviantArt picture someone made.

To find out how this silly thing ends, stream it on Tubi now.
Is it good?  I mean, not really.  Nothing terrible happens- it is all just very cliche.  Nobody stands out as a great Character or unique one.

Our Lead is a blatant copy-pasted version of Chris Pratt in the JW Films.  He even has the damn vest/shirt combo!

The Film is pretty damn blatant about the whole thing, which is both impressive and sad.  The invisible dinosaur, as mentioned, is based on the one in JW and the whole part with Not Pratt and Not Dallas Howard hiding from it in the building is right out of the Sequel.  

The Film's big draw is the CGI creature, which, to be fair, can look pretty cool.  It does have this odd Uncanny Valley thing where his eyes are oddly expressive (almost human) for a T-Rex though.  It also- mild SPOILER- mutates like Land Shark did.

For a cheap Chinese knock-off, this still can be kind of fun.  If you can accept that the dumb, stock Characters (also out of Land Shark) are just there to move between Monster attacks, you can enjoy it.  It does a few kind of neat things, to be fair...

It is the JWC Speakers/Nikee Sneakers to the Jurassic World Films, plus a giant Snake.  It's not great, but it is a good 'junk food' kind of Film.

Sunday, March 26, 2023

Shudder Sunday: Beyond Dream's Door

 A weird '80s Horror Film that I'd neither seen nor heard of (to the best of my knowledge)?

A freaky monster from your dreams?

Sign me up for...

A man experiences dark and vivid dreams involving all sorts of weird imagery.

For all of the Nightmare on Elm Street comparisons this one gets, it is more like if David Lynch wrote a Film and David Cronenberg was the Director.

Now just imagine the Film was made for about $100,000.
He talks to his Psychology Teacher about his dreams, which he wrote down as a 3-4 page essay!

I won't SPOIL it, but the Introduction to the Teacher is...unique.

Anyhow, he wants to help our Hero and study his dreams.
He get the help of his TAs (Teaching Assistants) to do this.  For some reason, this pair also have a 'will they, won't they' B-Plot that is kind of pointless.

With the Professor, he calls our Hero in the middle of the night and tells him to come over and discuss his dreams.
Shortly after that, the Professor doesn't show up for class and any attempts to call his House end in futility.

The Operator- yes, Phones had those in 1989- won't even acknowledge that the guy ever existed, so the TAs are on their own.
Like the Professor, they start to see the things described in our Hero's dreams in their waking life now.  Or were they still asleep somehow?

Their attempts to help, well, don't end super well.

Let's just say that she's not laying down here...and she's also not 'all together' anymore.

To find out more, watch the Film now.
A fun and creative Film, there are just a few caveats for you.

The Budget is pretty low, so you don't get to see much of the Monster.
The Acting is not great all around, although some of them do well enough and feel natural.
The constant cutting between dream and reality might be distracting.

With that said, I quite enjoyed this one.  It has a unique feel to it, as you are following this guy who's grip on reality is quite loose.  When that spreads to others, you begin to really wonder what is real and what is not.  It has a fun, unnerving feeling to it.

If you're like me and enjoy Practical Effects, this has quite a few of them to enjoy.  Some of them...don't look great, but the majority of them are quite nice.  Gross, but nice, that is.

If you like a more straight forward story, this won't sell you.  
If you're willing to go along for the ride, check this one out.

Just be warned- the new image they use to promote it on Amazon Prime (and other places too, I'm sure) is a bit over-the-top...

A strange, but interesting attempt to do something quite different back in 1989.  It's worth a look.

Thursday, March 23, 2023

Tubi Thursday: Miami Vice's Version of 'Manhunter' (aka 'Shadow in the Dark')

 A TV Version of Manhunter?  The same year as the Film?

Someone should tell Michael Mann about this!
Oh, he was an Executive Producer, you say?

Let's take a break from Movies to discuss the Episode of Miami Vice called...

A strange and mysterious man nicknamed The Shadow breaks into people's houses...but doesn't kill them.

Instead, he eats their raw meat and steal...men's pants?
Crockett and Tubbs are on the case.  They're also sharing a Car, since this Episode was supposed to air BEFORE Crockett get a replacement Car (it was blown up in the Premiere).

The issue- this one was bumped back to air on Halloween, screwing up the continuity.
The Lead Detective on the case is intense...and has gone a bit crazy.

After beating up an informant, he shows up at what he thinks is one of The Shadow's potential victims and shoots the meat cooler.

Is his brush with insanity some not-so-subtle foreshadowing?
Things escalate as The Shadow hits another House- after Tubbs fails to find him- and does something bad to the lady in the House...off-camera, since this is 1980's TV.

Now things are serious, so Crockett goes even deeper and stops sleeping.
That didn't work out well for Christian Bale, but I like his chances.
His sanity is tested, but he finally is able to figure out The Shadow's plan and find out the House he will hit.

Him and Tubbs arrive just in time to stop the guy from stabbing a victim, since, I guess this escalated quickly for him.

Crockett stops him, but has to insist that 'he's a Cop' to the would-be victim, since he looks so messed up.

The Episode proper ends with a dream sequence and...oh, that's it.  The End.
On the positive side, there are many differences here.
On the negative side, there are many differences here.

That said, this is still *obviously* inspired by the Film.  The Shadow isn't as scary as The Tooth Fairy- see below- but his look is definitely inspired by him.  I wonder if they gave him the tattoos and then never showed them too.

The idea here is a neat one- Crockett gets too deep trying to catch a criminal.  It's just kind of a shame that he does for someone that didn't even attack anyone at that point.  Yes, things escalate when Shadow attempts something, but the whole 'I'm losing myself' thing was already going strong.

It's also a bit repetitive at times, as we see at least 3-4 Scenes of people talking to him or being concerned around him.  We got it- show me something else.

In summary, it's a fine enough Episode that sets things up for later with Crockett, but basically gives nobody else much to do, if anything.  Makes you just want to, you know, scream, right?

For what it's worth, it was neat to see a Vice Episode that tried something new.  There's none of the usual flair here, which, is kind of ironic, since that is heavily present in Manhunter.

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

'80s Class: Manhunter (1986)

 A fun look back at how a Film Series truly began.  It's just a shame that this Film is overshadowed by the next Film.

This is Michael Mann's Manhunter or, if you're cheeky, Michael Mannhunter.
Thank you- try the fish!

Why is this called Manhunter?  Well, Producer Dino De Laurentiis saw the failure of a 1985 Film called Year of the Dragon and said 'No Dragon Films.'  No, really.

The Plot involves a strange killer who targets families during Full Moons, since Thomas Harris was writing these by way of a dart board apparently.  All kidding aside, an intense Detective must risk his sanity to go back into this world.

Is this version of Red Dragon the true, proper version or a very dated Film?
To find out, read on...

*** This is another one of those Reviews where I have to say which Version I'm watching.  This is for the 2001 Director's Cut, as opposed to the Theatrical, the Hybrid Cut (Theatrical with random DC footage) OR the Restored Director's Cut.  ***

All clear?

Peterson is approached by his former Boss- Dennis Farina- at his home in Clearwater.  Hey, neighbor!
They want him to stop The Tooth Fairy- not be confused with the Star of about 40 Horror Films- who is targeting whole families, as noted, during Full Moons.

He also Films his exploits, shades of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.
Can he ignore the danger that some random family will face in about 2 weeks time?
Can he survive the experience with his sanity intact?

Why is this House so blue?!?
The evidence is slim, so Petersen must channel the mindset of the Tooth Fairy, proving to be a bit much for even himself.

He even accidentally leaves some crime scene photos out on a plane, which is a whole thing.  

They weren't allowed to use a real plane at first, so they got on a flight, bribed the crew with jackets and shot it.
The big draw here is the debut of Hannibal Lecktor and, yes, it is spelled like that here.  I don't know why.  Does it look more Irish/Scottish that way?

In his 3 Scenes, Brian Cox really shines and his influence on the Story emanates throughout.

Seeing him manipulate a rotary phone and Phone Operator to get Petersen's Address is surreal in 2023.
Noonan is a sneaky killer, as he doesn't fall for a trap set by our Heroes when they state that 'he is gay' in a Press Release.  Sigh.  '80s gotta '80s.

He kills the Reporter (an unrecognizable Stephen Lang) and we see that he really wants to be loved and 'have a family.'  

Aw, that's so...nope, can't do it.
He meets up with a blind woman- Joan Allen- and we get a really random Scene where he takes her to 'see' a drugged up Tiger, which she rubs all over.

'80s gotta '80s.

And yes, I get the subtext of how she doesn't realize that the Tiger is actually a dangerous Predator- like Noonan- and just enjoys being around them.  Thanks, Michael.
Can he figure out who The Tooth Fairy is?
Can he save the next potential victims?
Will this battle of wits and figuring out forensic evidence somehow end up in a shoot-out?

To find out, check out one of the many Cuts of this Film.
A great Film, both in spite of and because of its true '80s nature.  It's Michael Mann and he's knee deep in the middle of being all about Miami Vice.  Remember this for what I cover tomorrow.

For better or worse, the Film is a very '80s one.  It has crazy synth, neon and some dated technology by modern standards.  What makes the Film stand out is that they have to analyze the evidence to a greater degree than in other Films/Shows of its day.

Hey, you should get that Michael Petersen guy on a Show about analyzing Crime Scenes!

If you can accept that the focus is quite split between Petersen's psyche, his home life and also the Serial Killer- who isn't shown for quite a while.  Other Films might focus way more on the crime, but not this one- in all of the Cuts.

If you want to see a weird Film with said focus, this is for you.  I don't want you to waste your time, like this poor guy did putting the Tattoos all over Noonan...that Mann didn't like and never showed in the Film.  Ouch.

Next time, let's check out what happened when someone decided to Remake this Film in 2002.  Are we going to ask why Lecter is a Decade older than he was in Silence?  Stay tuned...

Monday, March 20, 2023

'How Did You Not Get Sued?!?' Cover Art: Headless Horseman (2022)

 Oh, The Asylum- you must have good Lawyers.

In 2022, they went with something very familiar bit of Box/Promo Art.

Can you spot this one without hints?

A neat Poster, to be fair.

Why is he going at this weird angle though?

Oh well- it's a nice update of a famous Story and...oh right, the Title of this Post.

So, are you ready?

What
Inspired
This
One?
Yes, it is pretty blatant.
No 'ifs' 'ands' or 'buts' about it here.

Is this Satire?

I doubt it.

On the plus side, it's an excuse to watch the ridiculous and fun GR:SoV again.
Thanks, The Asylum!

Friday, March 17, 2023

Holiday Tubi: The Leprechaun's Curse (2021)

 Another year and another Leprechaun Film.

Instead of going for that already-forgotten 'legacy Sequel' to the original 1993 Leprechaun Film, let's check out the Sequel to last year's Review.

Yet again, I can double dip, as the Director is the same woman as last time.

A man comes home and finds nobody around...and feels strange.

Time to get out...with your bag of gold.
Sure enough, the Leprechaun is after him.

It pads out the runtime...I mean, sneakily stalks him until killing him in the pool by...I think...filling his body with gold so he can't float.

It was done better in Leprechaun 2 with the whole pot of gold.
As it turns out, he was the Stepbrother to this lady and now she inherited his Estate.

She takes her boyfriend, her friends and her Mother to the place.

It all seems fine, until they find a threatening note calling them 'teefs' (which is funny to hear the Actor say in his fake Irish accent).

He also took pictures of them, but a) when and b) with what camera?
Like those rage ghosts in Japan, he just kind of hangs around and kill anybody he feels slighted him by 'stealing his gold.'

This one lady- who we just met- picks up 2 pieces of gold just lying on a counter and he immediately kills her, even after she throws it down.

Fun.
Our lady director- playing a lady with the same first name as the last Film, but I don't think it's supposed to be the same Character- shows up a few times and then gets killed by the Leprechaun.

This is the kind of Film that *talks* about killing a kid... but won't actually do it.

To find out what happens, stream the Film now.
It's...not any better than the last one, really.  It's more of the same, which is what you get when you bring the same Lead, Director and one of the two Writers (who is also the Director).

I'm not 100% sure, but that House looked awfully familiar as well.

The Plot is just a different version of the same thing- people get gold and Leprechaun kills them over it.  The setup is different, of course, in that our Heroes/Heroines don't actually look for the gold.
Like I said earlier, it feels like one of those rage ghost films like The Grudge, since he just kills you for something you didn't actually do.

For context, he makes the guy drop 2 pieces of gold in the pool, doesn't retrieve them and then targets everyone in the Pool (or proximity) that then finds said pieces of gold!

Seriously, just pick it up yourself!

It's not the worst Film you'll see, but it is just devoid of joy.  To get me to watch more from this Director, you may have to resort to more drastic means...
May your day be more fun that watching this one turned out to be. Slainte everyone!

Thursday, March 16, 2023

'70s Class: Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)

 An all-time Classic- even if another Sci-Fi Film from the same Year kind of overshadowed it.

This is Close Encounters of the Third Kind, a 1977 Film by, of course, Steven Spielberg.
It's got an interesting place in Film History as some people know it well, others know it by reputation and many just don't talk about it all that much.

Notably, the Film features Richard Dreyfuss and Melinda Dillon, the former of which is more famous for their previous Film and the latter for their later Film.  She did get an Oscar nomination, which is quite notable.  I guess you can Award Nominations if someone like Spielberg Directs your Sci-Fi Film, eh?

If you don't know, the Plot involves strange sightings in the sky, people obsessed with the truth and a government essentially denying it.  So...2023, then?

To see what can be gleamed from this Film after over 40 years, read on...

Before I start, a note about the different Cuts.  There's the Theatrical (135 minutes), the Special Edition (132 minutes) and the Collector's Edition (137 minutes).  I'm reviewing the latter.

The Film is all about Family and how you interact with them.  That is, until...
Strange lights in the sky!

They seem to lure a young child- who was nearly got an Oscar nomination! - away from home.

Along with some others, they end up seeing the UFOs.
Dreyfuss also ends up seeing the lights and has the marking to prove it- he's got a big, red tan on the right side of his face.

In the aftermath of the incident, the Government is not exactly wanting to talk about it.
Depending on which Cut you watch, you'll see them actually come to Town and talk to them about how there is 'nothing to see here.'

When they are away from the cameras, they are trying to figure out how the Aliens communicate and why missing Ships/Planes are showing up.

Hey look- it's Bob Balaban.  Il parle francais.  Qui savait?
A long section comes up where we basically see Dreyfuss go through PTSD.
He acts crazy for quite a while and...where are the Aliens again?

It's also apparently a bit therapeutic for the Writer/Director as he's a stand-in for his Dad here.
Can this French guy- Francois Truffaut in his only non-French Film- figure out the key to speaking to the Aliens?

As it turns out, it is music.

As to why they randomly abduct people, that's...not answered.
Everything builds up to the return of the Aliens in their Ship.  In spite of the Film otherwise being overlooked, they were given an Oscar for the Special Effects.

The Aliens are...odd looking and they make sure to drop off our 20+ year missing people in exchange for some new people.

There goes Dreyfuss with the Aliens...leaving his family behind without saying good-bye.

Also you see the Ship's Interior in the 2nd Cut, but not this one.  The End.
It is still an all-time classic.  That said, there's certain caveats for younger, first-time viewers OR people that haven't seen it in ages.

For one thing, it is a '70s Film in all of the best and worst ways.  The good parts are the sharp dialog, strong acting, focus on Characters and a sense of grandeur.  The bad parts are the slower Pacing and long stretches that don't focus on the Aliens.

I'm just saying- the Ships are only seen 3 times in the Film and the Aliens themselves only show up at the end.  If you're expecting something different, just be forewarned.

That said, the Ship effects still hold up quite well today.  They also made sure not to really show the actual Aliens all that much and the Film is better for it.

I mean, it's a Classic.  It's ultimately still a Film of its time though.

It is also regular viewing in Wyoming- where the Finale takes place- and used for Tourism.

Next up, let's switch to a different Film from my pile of DVDs.  What will I pick next?  Stay tuned...