Poor Bastards of Cinema: Cemetery Gates (Part 2)

Cemetery Gates takes another victim today.  This time, it is a random lady who is out for a bike ride...

...until the Tasmanian Devil attacks her.  More accurately, a big Ewok jumps at a bike.

She flees, but runs into the inbred hick characters who are not exactly friendly.  Well, fondling her is one way to say 'hello.'

Unfortunately, she has to choose between being raped by them or being eaten.

Yeah, good call.  I should note that they get away...so that they can be eaten later.

By the way, this lady didn't have a name either.  She's just more fodder for the movie's beast.  Yea.

Up next, a man learns that life can be full of shit.  In this case, it comes from a dinosaur.  Stay tuned...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Cemetery Gates (Part 1)

While Cemetery Gates was only a decent movie (seriously, it was too random!), it did provide me with a wealth of these for updates.  Let's start with the most inexplicable one.

Two guys we've never met before are walking around.  Hey look- Bronson Cave.  Watch for the Gatoroid, Crocosaurus and/or Batman!

One of them goes into the cave, since their frisbee got tossed in there.  Seriously- that's the reason!

"Help- the cheap production values are killing me!  That and the giant Tasmanian Devil, of course."

Aww- friends to the end...literally.  By the way, you may want to move away from the corpse.

Oops- too late.  You're dead.

Just remember that you will always be remembered as the guy who was killed by this thing...

Seriously though, I don't think that these guys even had names!  They just appeared out in the woods and got killed.  No rhyme or reason to it.

Next up, a woman learns to choose between two terrible fates.  Given that she's here, you can imagine how this goes!  Stay tuned...