Bail Bond: Moonraker (1979)

 Bond is back and he's inspired by a Galaxy Far, Far Away!

In 1977, they released The Spy Who Loved Me and the intent was to follow it up with For Your Eyes Only.  That changed when Star Wars was a mega hit, staying in Theaters for over a Year straight!

That brought us Moonraker in 1979.  It's one of the...Films with Sir Roger Moore in it.  
Opinions are very strong about this one- there's almost no middle ground.

The Plot involves an evil billionaire who kidnaps a Space Shuttle and Bond is sent to find it.  Old Enemies and new ones join forces to stop him and a new Bond Girl on their mission!

Bond travels the Globe...and beyond!

To be fair, the Film was nominated for an Oscar (it lost to Alien) and was the highest grossing Bond Film until Goldeneye.

Is it all bad...or kind of fun?  To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, two guys sneak out of hatches and steal a Space Shuttle (aka Moonraker) being transported via plane.

Speaking of planes, Bond is forced out of one in pursuit of the Pilot aka the guy with the parachute.

They have an extended fight/fall that apparently took 2 months to film!

Bond is sent to see Hugo Drax, the man who apparently paid for Moonraker's creation.

He's upset that it is missing, but his anger is as big of a facade as the establishing shot of his House.

Also, I'm just going to just put this out there- he looks like full-sized Peter Dinklage.

Bond is nearly killed by a machine that trains Astronauts for G-Forces, but escapes thanks to his wristwatch/dart launcher.

He pretends like nothing happened and seduces Drax's Pilot for information.

He also kills a would-be assassin, marking the only time that Bond fires a traditional gun in this Film.

Sadly, the Pilot did not get so lucky.

Bond goes to Venice and meets Dr. Goodhead again (she showed him the G-Force Simulator).

As it turns out, she's a CIA Agent working the same case.

So, to review, we now have 2 Bond Films in a row where the lady is a fellow Agent and both are trying to stop a mad billionaire who wants to wipe out humanity.

The best boat chase in Venice until The Last Crusade takes place and Bond shows off his one-time gondola/hovercraft.

Weird Fact: they were filming in the area when Pope Paul VI died!

Throughout the Film, Jaws has been being hired by the various villains (we must assume) to kill Bond.  Now Drax hires him.

His plot to fight them on a Cable Car backfires as it crashes.

A woman saves him from the wreck and they fall in love.
And no, she does NOT have braces.

This is not AI, Mandela Effect Believers.

 * Incidentally, they shot in Brazil and DO NOT SHOW us Christ the Redeemer.  Is that just a modern trope to always show it in Films set in Rio De Janeiro?!? *

Bond and Goodhead reluctantly work together- Bond forget his last lady and the point of that mission, I guess- until the latter is captured by Drax in the Amazon.

Bond fights an anaconda and survives after darting it.

Both are captured, but escape onto one of Drax's Shuttles.

He's launching multiple Moonrakers to his hidden Space Station (which blocks radar and just looking up to see it).

It's at this point that the Film gets pretty damn silly as the Marines in Space Suits are shot up and a big laser fight ensues between Drax's men and the Marines!

Jaws' redemption arc is completed as he aids Bond when he learns that him and Dolly (his love) are not part of Drax's Master Race equation.

The whole thing is blown up, the duo are rescued by Marines (from an escape pod) and our Heroes must stop the last few pods full of poison that got launched to kill humanity.

For what feels like the 500th time, MI6 is surprised to see Bond having sex with his lady.  The End.

A pretty fun Film that only gets really silly in Act 3.

Moonraker is not the most serious Bond Film.  Even so, it never goes fully into Comedy.
It does treat Jaws like Wile E. Coyote, which is a carry over from The Spy Who Loved Me TBF.

Bond still has a quip on hand for every death.

The biggest problem- moving the Film Order around meant some obvious repetition from Spy.
As mentioned, we get a fellow lady Agent and a mad Billionaire who wants to destroy the Earth from afar (Space, not the Ocean).

To keep things 100 (do people still say that?), the finale is just plain nuts.  It goes as far afield into Sci-Fi as it would get until Die Another Day.  That one 'killed' the Franchise, so...you know, not a great comparison.

I still wouldn't say that it was BAD Film- just a silly one when all is said and done.

To make a modern comparison though, Jaws here approaching here in an oversized Carnivale mask is as close as Bond ever got to Liminal Horror like The Backrooms.

Next up, a 2-part crossover between a normal Review and Tubi Thursday.  Let's see how the original Film made us Afraid of the Dark.  Stay tuned...

Forgotten TV: The Outer Limits - 'The Tribunal'

 Fans of this Show sure seem to love Time Travel.

This is the 2nd highest rated Episode of the Show.

In 'The Tribunal,' the Cold Open shows Prisoners of Auschwitz during WWII.

A man- repeat Actor Alex Diakun- is amongst them, grabs an Officer's coat and runs away.
They pull out a device and vanish!

In the Present, a Lawyer- Saul Rubinek- is on his own mission.

He has found out that one of the Auschwitz Guards- Radamacher- is still around and hiding in Town.

The man denies this and now he has to bring evidence to prove this.

The man from the beginning brings him the coat, which belonged to that same man.

That evidence is not enough, since the coat is too well preserved (since it was literally taken moments earlier).

This means that the guy has to go back and get more, which means another trip with the younger version of Radamacher.

He games the system better this time- hiding the stolen evidence in a safety deposit box- and this helps Rubinek's case.

He goes to meet with the guy and sees his strange watch.

This sends him back to 1944 and he narrowly escapes thanks to the Traveler.

He pushes the case against Radamacher and then learns from the Time Traveler that this won't work, as the old man fled the Country.

This pushes Rubinek to threaten him, but then they get a better idea.

They take the old version back to 1944 and he ends up being killed by his younger self, closing the loop and pleasing The Tribunal.

As a bonus, he takes the Granddaughter (who died originally) back to the Present.  The Tribunal won't mind.

A really poignant and strong Episode.  It is easy to see why this is rated so highly.

Outside of the Plot, this one was personal, as the Writer lost family in the Holocaust.
The Writer actually did a version of this Plot for Quincy M.E. with another Rademacher hiding.

The Sci-Fi Element here is strong, but never takes the focus away from the Story.  It is a device to allow the Story to play out and bring emotional resonance to things.

The Acting is all around quite good.  No complaints there.

If I were to nitpick, the immersion in the 1944 Scene drops a bit when they just stop speaking German.  It's a weird thing to do, all things considered.

That said, a strong Episode that fits the Sci-Fi Theme and is a damn good Story.
Now here's me looking at anyone who thinks that I'm being 'too mean' to the Nazis here...

Next time, a Prisoner faces a choice between Death and Science.  In hindsight, the 2nd may have been a bad choice!  See you then...

Tubi Thursday: The Beast Within (1982)

 Another Cult Classic that I've somehow missed for all these years is now checked off the list.

I guess I somehow connected it and the far more famous An American Werewolf in London.

Was I wrong to wait so long?
Let's find out!

A young(ish) couple- Ronnie Cox and Bibi Besch- are out in the backwoods heading out on their honeymoon.

When their car gets stuck, Ronnie goes for help and the dog runs off.
The Wife follows, but gets attacked and...well, you can guess, by a creature.

17 years later, they have a teenage son who is experiencing severe glandular issues.

Doctors can do little, so they decide to go back to the source (the attack) for any information.

Bringing the Son was a mistake, however, as he's possessed by some sort of creature/spirit.

He kills this old dude and then is found passed out (but healthier) by a girl.

He falls for said girl and things move quickly...until they accidentally uncover a 'treasure trove' of human remains in the bog.

That's a real mood killer.

The Parents- especially Ronnie- can't come to terms with what is happening, even as the Son gets transformed yet again and kills someone on The Second Night (with convenient James Gun Title Cards).

Why does he seem to be targeting one family?

I just can't believe that I'll come back for a Sequel to The Car.

Our Hero (is he though?) is transforming against his will and a strange growth is appearing.

Hopefully it's not Malignant.

Do you see the AW in London comparisons?

We eventually get an answer from the creepy Judge who has been lurking around the whole time.

It all has to do with a guy who was left for dead, transformed into a Monster and was able to reincarnate as the boy (via the opening bit of non-consent).

Does it make sense?  Eh...

Things come full circle as the girl the Son has been wanting to get with just so happens to be out in the Forest and in the path of him.

He's fully transformed into the Titular Creature (picture a skinless chicken breast- just man sized) and, well, does what you expect.

The Son is killed, but does the reincarnation cycle continue?  The End.

We are 2 for 2 on unfortunate usage of Body Doubles here.

A bleak, if well made bit of Horror with a dash of Tennessee Williams.

This one has many things going for it.
For starters, it is rife with notable names and Character Actors.  You've got Cox, Besch, LQ Jones, Meshach Taylor and Boyce Holleman.

Secondly, the Script- by Tom Holland (not that one) builds nicely.
Third, the Direction by Philippe Mora is strong too.  He'd make an actual Werewolf Film in 1985.

That said, the Film is mostly a Series of Scenes that *eventually* tie together, so Pacing is a bit weird.  The nature of the whole thing may not be to your liking either.

Either way, it is weird, gross, oddly engaging and kinda bleak.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to tell another Incel about how I actually liked Supergirl...

A Film that has definitely earned it reputation (and a nice HD Transfer).  That said, the bleak nature of it may not be your cup of tea.

Lost in Translation: Slithis (1978)

 A Film like (Spawn of the) Slithis is bound to have some good Covers.

It seems like Germany (based on the wording) stepped up to the plate here.

This isn't Slithis.  It's...

Run, Pamela Anderson- there's a giant puppet behind you!

That or it is this fella.

Either way, this Title makes it sound like a '50s B-Movie, no?

Shudder Day: Faces of Death (2026)

Well, I've already covered the original and its most famous rip-off.

Now let's check out the Meta Sequel that was 4 Decades in the making.

This is...

A woman named Margot works as a Content Moderator at a Streaming Platform a la Tik Tok (or Tic Tac if you're Trump).

She sees a video that looks real and has odd narration.

She approves it, but it soon troubled by another one appearing the next day.

As it turns out, they are real!

A weirdo is obsessed with Internet Violence Culture and is reenacting Scenes with real people.

He targets an influencer next...

Margot investigates the videos via Reddit and is told about Faces of Death.

Luckily, her weirdo roommate has a copy of it on VHS and she soon recognizes the original versions of his reenactments.

Before you ask, I don't own the Film on VHS.

The killer takes on more victims and does his own version of yet another Faces of Death Scene.

I guess that this is a World without CNN, because there's no way that this guy showing up in a 'murder video' is not news.

Margot goes deeper and deeper.

Nobody will believe her without more evidence, so she finds some.

Unfortunately, that gets the killer looking at her!

As it turns out, Margot herself was involved in this same culture.  

She had an attempt at a viral video go horribly wrong.

So, if she wants to stop the killer, it's all on her!

To find out how that goes, stream it now.

A surprisingly good META Horror Sequel.  I know- I wasn't expecting it either.

A Film like this can either be really good or really bad.  There's almost never an in-between.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare- good.
Human Centipede 2- bad!

How you feel about this one will also be informed by how you feel about Post-Modern Slasher Films.  This is close to one, albeit not one with a mystery reveal of the killer.

A Film like this could get really preachy, but they walk that line pretty well.  The Film itself has much to say, but is pretty good about not pointing a finger too much.

Seeing the promotion and trailers for this left me cold, but curious.
The final product, however, was better than I'd hoped and didn't upset me as much as I expected.

A Film that is honestly kind of good and has stuff to say.  Marketing this was never going to be easy, but, boy, did they botch it.

Forgotten TV: The Outer Limits - 'A Stitch in Time'

 Is this truly the best Episode of The Outer Limits?

This is the highest rated Episode on IMDB, with a User Rating of 8.4.

The Plot involves, as you might guess, Time Travel and a touch of casualty looping.

Let's have already gone into...

This is Season 2, Episode 1.

In the Cold Open, a woman confronts a man at his home and demands to verify his identity.
When she does, she pulls out a gun and shoots him!

This is Amanda Plummer, last seen here killing her new Husband on Tales from the Crypt.

We also follow an FBI Agent named Jamie who is celebrating (sort of) the upcoming execution of a killer who she put away.
Sadly, she put him away AFTER her best friend was killed by him.

She's working on a strange case involving 17 men killed by the same gun...across 30 years!

We soon find out the truth about what is going on.

Plummer can time travel via sort of logical nonsense and covers her tracks, wiping her clues from the crime scene in the beginning.

Afterwards, the killer on Death Row lays out *exactly* what he did before his first kill (to the day!) and she uses that info to kill him first!

This act undoes Jamie's friend's death, of course.

The strain is getting too much for her, since she retains memories of the past timeline AND the new one.  Imagine that, but 17 times over!

Jamie figures out that she is up to something and confronts her, whereupon Plummer reveals her time machine.
She's going to finally go back and save for herself from a creepy kidnapper.

Jamie can't stop her, so she follows her.

In 1976, Plummer manages to save herself and let Jamie kill the guy before he does anything terrible.

However, she can't save her CURRENT self (time travel is confusing) and her older body is left in the past.

Please ignore that Plot Point as we see that this undoes ALL of Plummer's killings (her motivation to do them taken away) and Jamie's friend is dead again.

She is sad and confronts a happier Plummer, who apparently lets her use the Machine to kill the bad guy yet again!

The End.

A really strong premise that nearly gets the focus it deserves.

This one is good- no question.
The only issue here for me is that the focus is rarely on the actual killings done by Plummer.  Seeing her do more than 2 would have been nice.

That said, there would be less time for Jamie and her Plot, so...alright.

It would also have been a fun wrinkle to actually begin with Jamie meeting with the happier Plummer and being greeted by her line 'I know you.  You're the one that saved me.'
Tell everything else in order and you have a weird, but interesting hook IMHO.

The strongest parts are where it really touches upon the difference between Justice and Vengeance, Correlation vs Causation and Do 17 wrongs make a right?

I've seen far worse Time Travel tales.
Interestingly, the Writer- Steven Barnes- wrote 3 Episodes of the Show and one was the 4th lowest rated one.  Here he is with the 1st Rated one now. 

Speaking of other Episodes, this one got a Sequel...4 Seasons later?!?

Next time, we jump to Season 5 for a tale involving Nazis.  It's sad how topical that subject is in 2026.  See you then...

Forgotten Sequels: Piranha 2- The Spawning

 Everyone has to start somewhere in any Industry.
In this case, it is James Cameron getting his first gig as a Director on today's Film- Piranha 2: The Spawning, the 1981 Sequel to the Cult Classic.

There are many caveats here, but I'll get to that.

This is a Sequel made in Italy by a man named Ovidio G. Assonitis.  And yes, that is his real last name.
He Produced many Films that only true connoisseurs of foreign nonsense have seen and sometimes love like Beyond the Door, Tentacles and The Iron Warrior.

In this case, he needed an American name on his Sequel (to a Film that he didn't make) and ultimately settled on James Cameron, fresh off working on Roger Corman's Productions.

The Plot involves those damn Piranhas back for more in a Plot that actually mirrors some future Jurassic Park Films.  

Is this Euro Trash with an American Title?  To find out, read on...

My version has a different Subtitle.

A Cold Open (literally) has a Couple diving down to have sex in a shipwreck.  Take note, Kash Patel!
They die.

The nearby Island is full of Tourists and overseen by a single Sheriff/Law Figure- Lance Henriksen.

There's a Jaws-like Mayor figure in the form of the Resort Owner.

He does all of the usual stuff you'd expect.

Our Heroine- who would reunite with Cameron for Titanic- is the Diving Instructor/Tour Guide.

She's this Film's Hooper, but she's also the ex-Wife of Henriksen (this Film's Brody).
As a bonus, their Son is in peril for the climax, giving us a taste of Jaws 2.

While this is officially directed by Cameron, he only claims credit for 2 Scenes.  

In the first one, the guy who kept hitting on 'Hooper' goes with her to check out the body of a victim.

They used a real Morgue btw!

They are chased off by a Local Worker, who sticks around with the corpse uncovered long enough for one of the Piranha to fly out of an open wound!

We later learn from the guy above that they were crossbred with a bunch of other species as some sort of military weapon (or something), but escaped.

Yes, this is oddly similar to Jurassic World in that regard.

One of the Fishermen- Gabby- finds his son killed by one of the Piranhas.

He plans revenge, using the dynamite that he and the son were fishing with when Lance first met them.

That night, all of the warnings are ignored and the beach is opened...but at night.

The Tourists act out a ritual where they march to the Sea...and the Piranhas fly at them, killing many!

Gabby shows up after the survivors are behind a door and plans his revenge...only to be killed instantly.

My...arc...was pointless.

The Son and a girl he likes snuck away earlier, setting up the Jaws 2 bit I mentioned.

In the other bit that Cameron Directed, Lance finds them in his Helicopter and, instead of landing, jumps out and it explodes.

Helicopters famously explode upon contact with water.

They take a boat to get away as 'Hooper' and the guy try to set up bombs made by Gabby to blow up the eggs in the wreck.

The guy is killed by the fish- as Story Law demands- and they save the day via a giant explosion.

The End (until the 1995 Remake).

A pretty forgettable 'Sequel,' save for a few minutes throughout.

This one was supposedly going to try and get Kevin McCarthy to make a Cameo as his Piranha character and die off.  That never happened.

What we're left with is a Film that very, very much feels like an Italian Monster Movie.
It has all of the benchmarks, including much superfluous nudity and sleazy people.

There is also LOTS of stuff ripped off of/inspired by Jaws, which is pretty damn common in Italian Cinema between 1976 and 1996.

The FX work also led to what made the Face Huggers in Cameron's Aliens, so some good came of this.

I'd love to say more about this being a 'hidden gem' or something, but...nah.
It has some moments, at least.

Speaking of moments, now is the right one to bring this back...

Next time, Roger Moore is back in his (arguably) most maligned Bond Film.  Is this Sci-Fi premise too much for the Series?  Stay tuned...