Tubi Thursday: Dark August (1976)

It's August.
It's Dark out right now.

This seems right...

A man is living out in a rural area.

He should be happy with his girlfriend and solitude.

Why is he upset?

He's seeing a strange, hooded man at various places.

He feels weird.
He feels at odds with everything and everyone.

His girlfriend tries to help him.

He tries to get through things, but something is clearly eating away at him.

A year earlier, he accidentally hit a young girl as she was running across the road.

After that, the girl's Grandfather puts a Death Curse on him, which comes at him in waves (like having a panic attack) or making him see the cloaked figure.

He tries to work through things, even getting his fortune read by a friend's girlfriend.

Even so, the Grandfather is still out to get him.

Can he get the help of a Mystic to save himself?

Well...kind of...sort of.

The whole Ending is rather vague and it won't make your PETA members happy.
The End.

A weirdly interesting Film...to a point.

The Plot is intentionally vague at the beginning, making you wonder what is going on.  That can be interesting with the right Actors.

These guys and gals do alright.

When you find out what is really happening, you can feel like it is going somewhere.
It eventually gets there, but sure takes awhile.

The Film is all about vibes and feelings.  It's a '70s thing.
It's also a Low-Budget Film thing.

If you're into Films that are more vague, about the Characters and eventually get to a weird place, this is for you.
Clearly there are lots of you out there, since we're up to Volume 2 of this...

A Film with promise, but some odd priorities.  It's not a bad Film, but it sure is a vague, listless one.

Forgotten TV: Bionic Ever After? (1994)

 Are you ready to get Bionic?!?

This is Bionic Ever After, the 1994 TV Movie that serves as the final (so far) entry in the Six Million Dollar Man/Bionic Woman Series.

If you don't know what that is, you're probably taking a break from TikTok.

In short, a man and a woman were given bionic upgrades (legs, an arm and eyes) to help the Government stop bad guys (and sometimes Bigfoot).

They returned in a 1987 TV Movie which was a Backdoor Pilot for a new Show.
They next returned in a 1989 TV Movie which was also a Backdoor Pilot.  It famously features Sandra Bullock.

Five years later, the Cast (minus the new additions) returned for this final TV Movie to wrap things up!

In the Plot, the Bionic Woman is having mechanical issues while a bad guy plans to 'do a Die Hard' in Nassau.  When both of them have issues, can they save the day?

This one did NOT introduce a new Bionic Character, so you'll have to make do with a stupid Wedding.

To find out how this weird finale turned out, read on...

5 years after the last one, Jamie Summers and Steve Austin are finally getting married.

How sweet.
(It's also the only reason that she came back as Jamie).

However, someone is out to get them.

Based on this shot, it's Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget!

I mean, they are agents with bionic parts and he was too.

However, Jamie is having problems with her bionic parts.

She loses a game of racquetball, which is Steve's first clue.

Why is this happening?

Sabotage!

This mysterious stranger is messing with the chips that run her bionic parts and making her break down!

While this is going on, bad guys take a whole party full of people in Nassau hostage.  The goal- get this Tennis Player who is possibly going to defect.

In the Intro, we see Jamie counseling a sad Agent.
Later, she's sent out into the field with Steve when Jamie goes down from her issues.

Shock twist- she's a bad guy!  
She sabotages Steve's arm bionics (but not his legs or eyes, because reasons).

Luckily, they are able to fix Jamie.

They figured out that the lady was the traitor, since she blamed the OSI for taking all of the credit for her Dad's co-creation (the bionics).

An upgraded Jamie saves the day as Steve got caught.

The bad guys brought A NUKE with them, but it's just a distraction.  What?!?

They are kidnapping the Player, since he's worth $20 million to somebody.

Their elaborate plan involves dressing up like the good guys and leaving in a hurry, being authoritative to a random guy.
It's how they got in too!

His bionics not all of the way working, Steve can't stop them.

Thankfully, Jamie shows up and chucks a sewer lid at them like a discus!
This kills nobody.

Steve gets his moment, shooting the detonator and saving the day.

The duo finally get married.

It ends with a stinger of Steve jokingly asking about having kids...forgetting that he has a bionic one already from the first TV Movie!

The End.

A decent TV Movie, even if it drops the pretense of the original Films.

The first Film introduces a new Bionic and some bad guys.
The second Film introduces a new Bionic Heroine, as well a surprise villain who is also Bionic.

The third Film has a random bad guy and then a pair of normal bad guys.

That's...odd.

The Plot is fine, giving us the big payoff to the 2 Leads finally getting married. 
We don't get the most amount of bionic action here and some of it is a bit silly.  Do we need Lee Majors running in slow motion and doing nothing?  Nah.

The whole thing is alright, but if you're not already a fan, it's just a so-so TV Movie.

That said, I do suddenly grave a Frosty for some reason.

Not AI.  That's really Dave from Wendy's.

Next time, let's finally pay off my purchase of Daywatch.  I spent $1 a year (or so) ago and I'm going to get my money's worth!  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Tales from the Crypt - 'King of the Road'

This Episode features a famous Guest Star.
This Episode also feels very different- and there's a reason for that.

Before all that, let's dive right into...

The Cryptkeeper appears and talks about how he's in a Theater Troupe.

This has nothing to do with the Story whatsoever and...well, there's a reason for that.

The Story is about a young, brash and tattooed guy- Brad Pitt- who is a Street Racer.

He bests someone in a classic car and moves on to a new conquest.

Apparently, the town Sheriff used to be a racer named Iceman (was his name Bobby) and is hiding from his old life.

Mostly because there's a manslaughter charge against him (presumably from a race).

Pitt tries to bait him into racing him and goes after his Daughter.

He doesn't take kindly to his actions, beating the guy up when he's at his House with his Daughter.

Pitt drops the other shoe by threatening to out him if he doesn't race.

Oh, and he's also got his Daughter hostage.

Their date went south really fast!

The Sheriff goes to his old buddy, who has apparently been keeping his car in racing shape for all of these years.
I have no follow up questions.

The pair have a race!

Pitt wins, but his celebration is short-lived as he runs into a construction vehicle!

He tries to get one last bit of pain in by making the car explode, but the guy gets away in time.

Cool explosion, bro.

The End.

A fun Episode, but how is this a Tales from the Crypt Episode?

Aside from the Intro and Outro & the ironic fate of the villain, this feels different.

Well, it is different.

In 1992, the Producers tried to expand their brand by making a Pitch Pilot Movie called Two Fisted Tales.
The idea was to adapt ANOTHER 50s Comic into an Anthology Show.  This one is more about Action than Horror.

The Pilot had three Segments.

When it didn't sell, the 3 Segments were then released as 3 different Episodes of Tales from the Crypt.

So yeah, this one is good, but different for reasons that aren't as obvious 34 years (and 2 days) after the airing.

I am now looking for Two Fisted Tales to watch/Review, but all I've found so far is...

An enjoyable, albeit out of place Episode.  Why do I keep running into Brad Pitt in these?

Forgotten TV: The Outer Limits - 'Patient Zero'

Another Time Travel Episode makes the Top 5 Highest Rated Episodes.

How does this one match up?

Let's find out in...

In the Year 2001, a man (Michael Rooker) kills a Doctor with a poisoning glove and then jumps into a portal (right in front of an oncoming truck).

He jumps back to the Future- 2015!

That world was devastated by a virus and he's trying to stop the Patient Zero from making it happen.

Time is literally running out- or, to be more accurate, resources are running out.

This might be his last trip as they find the *real* Patient Zero and he's dumped into a pile of trash back in 2001.

The arrival goes poorly as he's bit by a car and then meets a woman, who helps him.

She's Patient Zero.
He's there to kill her, but they bond over shared trauma (both lost spouses).

Now he's determined to simply stop her from getting infected and becoming Patient Zero.
He shows her the truth via his very 2015 Smart Phone of exposition.

However, he's created a causality loop.

His arrival causes HIM to be infected by all 3 necessary carriers (his arrival, the Doctor and her).
He lets his companion kill him and seemingly save humanity.

The End.

A low-fi Drama that fits the Show's Themes just enough.

The heart of this Story is Sci-Fi as it involves Time Travel and a vague 'super virus.'
Beyond that, it could be any drama.

We're also in Season 7 (yes, a Season 7 Episode is the #1 worst and the 5th best), so the Budget is a bit lower and there's no tacked-on nudity (these ran on regular TV).

Rooker is the hear of this and he really carries this one well.  He goes from being gruff to understanding to outright nice.  His whole arc- working hard to stop the cause and then tragically becoming it- is a good one.

Tanya Allen as the would be Patient Zero is good here, but she doesn't get as much to do.  She makes you feel for her, which is the key to this whole thing.

The final twist works because it was built up subtly (like the first infection).  This one, as mentioned, is right on the edge of fitting the Show's feel.

Let's not make things awkward as we leave now...

Next time, the 6th highest rated Episode is from Season 1.  It's from the Director of Species 3, so...color me cautious.

Tubi Friday: Son of Darkness- To Die For 2

 It wouldn't have been fair to watch and review a 2nd Movie after Spider-Man: Brand New Day.

As such, let's do one today.
My site, my rules!

To Die For is a Film that I watched so long ago that I made Channel Awesome references in it.

Regardless, all you need to know is that this woman is raising a baby that no Doctor can seem to treat.

That is, until she meets Dr. Shreck, who she falls for as well.

Well, he's a Vampire.

As one says later, Vampires 'travel in flocks.'

As such, there's a Vampire there with him- Amanda Wyss- who feels rejected by him.

That works out well for...

...his Brother, who also managed to survive the last Film.

He's followed Shreck (aka Vlad) to this small Mountain town, but he's not sure why the guy is hiding out there.

As it turns out, the baby is Vlad's.

The Mother was spared and had a hybrid baby, long before the Twilight Films.

He's trying to get access to it and turn the baby.

His Brother is not on board.

The Film has about 3 other Subplots intersecting here.

The new Mom's Brother- the guy from The Last Starfighter- is eventually seduced and turned by Wyss.

There's also another Vampire lady, who doesn't want to get involved in any conflict.

Lastly, the Hero from the last Film has come to Town after reading about Vampire killings.

The guy meets with the Vampire lady, but it turns bad when the Brother finds out and leaves her to die!

It all comes down to a very busy climax involving all of the players.

The Brother tries to save his Sister and gets Ashed (aka his head cut off with a chainsaw) by the Brother.
Wyss stakes him, but he wounds her to death as well.

Vlad is about to turn the Mom (and then kid) when the Hero stakes him and he dies dramatically.

The Mom leaves and they tease that the kid is a Vampire.
I mean...yeah, we knew that.  That was the whole Plot of this, right?

The End.

A decent to good attempt at making lots of Stories intersect.

Did the Film need this much going on?
They probably could have cut some of it- like the neutral Vampire Lady- and spent more time on other things.

Regardless, they do many things right here.

The Brother is a real delight, playing a hammy but also scary villain throughout.  The Scene where he's stalking the lady in the Boatyard stands out.

Wyss does good with what she's given as well, getting a little Arc for her Character.

The Vampire effects are mostly subtle here.  That's fine, honestly.  This way they didn't do more than they could do.

The only real problem here is that with so much going on, the Film can be a bit unfocused and thus less interesting.

Now I do have to wonder why Vlad thought appearing to her in her dreams would somehow not disturb her...

A Film with a few high points and many good Actors.  Unfortunately, there's too many Players and it drags a bit at times.

Immediate Response: Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026)

Alright- it's Spider-Man Day!

Let's do this!

The Good

* The Plot is a fresh one, involving Damage Control, a mysterious menace and Peter's struggle to make peace with himself.
* The Film looks great, with fun visuals for him swinging and great CGI.

* With Crestin as Director, the Action looks more dynamic and his experience with Shang-Chi shows.
* Bringing The Hulk back (no SPOILER to anyone who's seen any Trailer) was so worth it.

* Bernthal as Punisher is a nice foil for Spider-Man.

The Bad

* You have to be familiar with the events of the Spider-Man 'Home' Trilogy to get the most out of this.
* The melodrama can be a bit heavy-handed at times.

* As fun as the Easter Eggs are, I just want more Boomerang, Tarantula and others.
* If you're not a fan of the Comic Retcons to give Peter his organic web shooters and the like, it is more of that.  Blame James Cameron- the Organic Web shooters were created for his unused Script from the '90s.

Bottom line- this is a fun, creative Marvel Film.  It's great to see more Spider-Man and done in such a great way.

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)

 A guy who doesn't even get his name mentioned on the Wiki Page!

In Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, a young couple move into a new House.

The Wife is showing off what needs work done to her Interior Decorator friend.

He vanishes from the Movie after this Scene.

He returns in Act 3 as he's visiting the Wife again about work to be done.

Like before, they go downstairs.

...only for the creatures to set out a rope line and trip him!

He falls (off camera) and is shown to be dead at the bottom of the stairs.
(This Film was shot in a week- no time for Stunts!)

Yeah...that's it for him.

This guy didn't even really know about ANY of the danger.  He wasn't a threat to the creatures.

He was collateral damage, as they meant to trip her instead!

The moral- don't be a Designer in a '70s Movie.  You either end up dead (him) or as a Vampire...and then dead (Blacula).

It's not worth the risk. 

New(er) Flix: Wolfcop (2014)

 It must be a Full Moon (no TM) if I finally break out this DVD!

This is Wolfcop, the 2014 Horror Comedy from Canada.  I've had the disc longer than I would care to disclose.

Why wait until now?  Dunno.

The Plot involves a Cop who becomes a Werewolf.  Did you guess that?
There's more to the Story, but I'll get into the insanity there soon enough.

Is this another Kung Fury or Manborg?  Should this have led to even more for its Director like Rubber or Psycho Goreman did?

Did I at least like it better than the last Werewolf Film I watched?

To find out, read on...

Lou Garrou (get it?!?) is a Cop in a small, Canadian Town.

He's not a good Cop, as he's lazy and a drunk.

He's forced to work by his Boss, which means he has to go out and investigate noise complaints in the Woods.

He's attacked and loses time.

He has vague recollections of what happened- a ritual- and sees that his body has been marked!

That's not good.

He tries to go back to work as the Town approaches its annual Drink and Hunt.

That's not good.

As the Full Moon approaches, he changes in very gory (albeit super up-close) shots.

A Canadian Werewolf in...um, Canada?

He gets some help from a local weirdo, who found him that night and brought him home.

Now motivated (and less drunk), Lou finds out that Werewolves are connected to a strange lore involving Shapeshifters, 'The Reckoning' and the Solar Eclipse.

Guess what is coming up soon?

His second transformation is more controlled, albeit just as gory.

This version of the Superman shirt rip is NOT advised.

He finally becomes the titular Wolfcop as he retains his humanity (as it were) and fights crime.

They set up a trio of robbers known as The 3 Little Pigs and pay it off here.

He also takes out some bad guys, notably ripping one guy's face off (the guy then runs away).

Back at the Station, he's seduced by the Barmaid (who made eyes at him as a human) and they make mostly-off-screen whoopie.

She drugs him and we learn that a trio of Shapeshifrters have been driving things, disguised as the Barmaid, the Sheriff, a Cult Leader and the Mayor (below).

Thankfully, the only good Cop (Tina) comes to his rescue.

The group plans to drink his blood during the Eclipse because something something it doesn't really matter.

They win a bloody fight and live to make a Sequel in 2017.
The End.

A fun, if uneven Horror Comedy.

Positives- the Makeup and Gore Effects are good.  They obviously use shortcuts (like closeups), but that's not a big thing.

The bizarre tone of the Film is pretty fun too.

You're never quite sure what is going to happen.

As far as Negatives, the Pacing is a bit off and they don't do a great job of making you root for the guy at first.  We eventually get his backstory, but it takes a bit.

He's at least a good guy in the end, as opposed to the guy from Space Cop.
I've seen lots of weird Cop Films, haven't I?

The Film is for people who love old-school gore, makeup work and dark Comedy.
If that's not for you, then maybe skip this Franchise.

Otherwise, this might happen to you...

Next time, a look at a forgotten TV Movie that unites two TV Shows.  Who doesn't love a Wedding?  Stay tuned...