Forgotten TV: House of Frankenstein (1997) (Part 1)

 Have you ever tracked down a Movie you half remember from over a Decade ago?  Well, I did.

After lots of research, I finally found 1997's House of Frankenstein!  It was a TV Mini-Series and such, like the previous Frankenstein from TV, I'll cover it in its 2 separate parts.

There's so much to cover that it just makes things much easier.

The Plot involves a Vampire, a Werewolf, Frankenstein's Monster/Creature and everyone else stuck in between their antics.  Most of them are up to no good- they are Monsters, after all.

Notable Stars include Adrian Pasdar (Heroes), CCH Pounder (Justice League), Teri Polo (Meet the Parents) and Miguel Sandoval, as well as many others.

This appears to be an attempt to a modern(ish) update to Universal's Monster Film Crossover.  It is an NBC-Universal TV Movie.

Does this one hold up after almost 30 years or is it as dated as the original House of Frankenstein?  To find out, read on...

A flying creature with weird POV effects is killing people and the Cops are looking into it, but to no avail.

I'm already getting Nick Knight flashbacks, which is fitting since that was the Pilot to Forever Knight, which ran from 1992 to 1996, the year before this came out.

Elsewhere, a woman- Teri Polo- and a guy are both attacked by a stray wolf.

The latter is mauled and not seen again (at least in Part 1) and she's scratched, now forever changed!

Elsewhere still, the current descendant of Frankenstein is convinced that the Book (which was Fiction) was real and spending lots of money to find the creature/Adam.

He succeeds and it then breaks out of containment when the ice melts!

Time to do an update of a different Frankenstein Film (since the Monster spends most of these crossovers taking a nap)!

This corrupt Businessman reveals himself to be the Vampire (who looks like 2000's Faust) when the Environmentalist blocking his construction turns out to be, gasp, a jerk.

If you ever wanted to see what the humanoid form of the Giant Bat that was in a Deleted Scene from Batman Forever looked like, it's him.

The Creature/Monster is saved by a mostly blind guy in the Streets and a friendship blooms.

Hey, you're not an uncredited Gene Hackman!

He's a 'That Guy' named Richard Libertini.

It turns out that the Vampire was using the Werewolf (who was a dude named Lukas) and was annoyed that he sired another Monster.

He gets a guy to kill the Werewolf and goes to retrieve Polo, but finds her roommate...CSI's Jorja Fox (?!?) instead.

He turns her into a spy.

When that part failed, the Vampire refocuses to get the Creature instead.

It kills the somewhat blind guy with a literal heart punch, but is interrupted before he can capture him.

How he was planning to fly off with him in broad daylight...is a fair question.

It all comes to a head as Pasdar's Cop can't convince anyone about the strange goings on- save for an ignored CCH Pounder- and leaves the City.

Fox tells the Vampire where to find them, however, and he shows up!

Polo runs away and transforms into a white wolf...only to be immediately captured by the Vampire!

See you in Part 2!

A Vampire and a literal White Wolf, you say?

A fun, if very busy start to the Story.

For better or worse, this one has ALOT going on.

The Cops and the case.
The Vampire and his killings.
The Werewolf and Polo.
The Frankenstein Creature and his buddy..
CCH Pounder being ignored/mocked.

This one is never still for too long.  Does it need to take ridalin?

The Special Effects are just the right side of good and also dated, with makeup work taking precedence and the CGI being accents.  The morphing effects- it is the 90s- aren't amazing, but fine.

The Acting is good here, but not amazing.
Thankfully, this doesn't feel especially cheap.  They use the right amount of focus- no globetrotting- and real locations to make it work.

Is it amazing?  Not yet.
Is it terrible?  Not at all.

It's good enough that I need to see part 2...

Next up, we will indeed see the conclusion of this forgotten tale.  Does it all come together greatly or is it a fun mess?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: 'Tales from the Crypt' Has the Original 'Obsession'

 An Episode that sounds like a present day (as of writing) Film is pretty rare.

As such, let's celebrate the Season 3 Premiere (of 3 Episodes) and it how it might have inspired a surprise Box Office Success.

This is...

The Cryptkeeper introduces this tale of unrequited love, uncontrollable obsession and life in Los Angeles in the '90s. 

A would-be Screenwriter- Andrew McCarthy- is obsessed with a lady in his building- Mariel Hemmingway- and fantasizes about her as what we would now call a Trad Wife.

An especially horny, at that.

The problem- she's not that.  At all.

She will barely have anything to do with the guy, which he does somewhat bring upon himself a number of times.

Credit where credit is due for the nuance.

After (rightfully) being rejected, his landlord (David Hemmings)- who never leaves his room- calls him in.

He feels bad for the guy and offers him a love potion.

The guy from 'Deep Red' got Deeply Creepy

She takes a drink from him and the potion works.

Unfortunately for the guy, it works too well.
She's quite literally obsessed with him and won't leave his side.

Seen here before things got really bad.

He makes a temporary escape and learns that this potion has never worked out well for previous users.  Thanks for the late update, David!

He gives him a new potion and McCarthy tries to drug her again.
She switches the glasses unknowingly, however, and dies from the poison.

His peace in Heaven is soon interrupted by Mariel's arrival.  She jumped out the window when he died and apparently wounds carry over to the Afterlife.

She's here to stay.
The Ed!

I haven't seen 'Obsession,' but this can't also be the Ending.

A well-made Episode that unfortunately suffers from some odd Pacing.  Sorry, Tom Mankiewicz

Positives first- Hemmingway is very good here.  She plays both versions of the Character quite convincingly.
McCarthy is pretty good here, being just the right amount of pathetic and exasperated.

He often looks like a younger David Hemmings too, but that is likely a coincidence.

My issue is that the Story takes too long to get to the hook.  As such, the final part with her being, well, obsessed is too short.

I think it should have happened at the end of Act 2- at the latest.  Give us more time to see the irony and show how it is more than just not letting him out of bed.

This all goes back to a 1940 story called 'The Chaser' (as in the drink term) that was then adapted into an EC Comics tale and then a 1960 Episode of The Twilight Zone.  Is it worth a comparison review?

Regardless, this works pretty well, but I just think the Pacing keeps it from true greatness.

They cut out the Alchemist in this Episode.

Next time, Season 3's debut continues with an Episode by the Writer of many '80s Classics.  Throw in a Twin Peaks Actor and this can't lose, right?  See you then...

Streaming Standard: Expendables 4 (aka Expend4bles)

As a fan of the original Trilogy (flaws and all), I was interested in a 4th Film...when it was announced in 2014.

When it finally came out in 2023, I skipped it in Theaters.

In 2026, I finally pulled the trigger.

In Expendables 3, we got a mix of the original Cast and a bunch of younger recruits- like Ronda Rousey and (yes, really) Glen Powell- to fill things out.

Even Schwarzenegger was around and we got Harrison Ford as the new government boss.

In Expendables 4, the new Cast is all gone.  Even Wesley Snipes.

Arnie is presumably busy making his Netflix Show and Terry Crews wasn't asked back (he has a theory).

Even Antonio Banderas was replaced by...his Son (?!?) on the team.

Instead, Stallone and *most* of the old Cast are being sent on a mission by their new Boss- Andy Garcia.

A new player- Iko Uwais- has broken into 'Gaddafi's Old Base' and stolen some nuclear detonators.
He died in 2011, but sure- that's still a thing.

They also think that this is the work of a rogue agent named Ocelot (not the MGS one) who is pulling the strings.

Remember Charisma Carpenter in the first 2 Films?
Well, she's essentially been replaced by Megan Fox as Statham's Girlfriend...and also on the team.

Can we get a Comic to explain all of the changes here?  I didn't think so.

The team's mission to stop Jaa goes poorly- I won't SPOIL why- and Statham is kicked off of the team by Garcia.

In the aftermath, the remaining team- alongside Garcia- go to a ship to stop the bad guy and recover the nuke.

Fortunately, Statham meets another former Expendable- Jaa- and they end up helping the others.

Can the group save the day?
Can they ever get the CGI sky around the boat to look convincing?

To find out, stream it now...

Oh jeez, I really wanted to like you, Movie.

As stated, I like the first 3.  Hell, I own them!
They have problems- I don't pretend otherwise.

That said, this one has so many things working against it...

* Previous Cast gone with no explanation
* New Cast gets no buildup

* This random Vietnamese lady (who they say is Chinese) joins up off-screen.
* Stallone does nearly nothing here (he is older than both of my Parents TBF)
* They don't even do the Opening Action Scene right (it's crosscut with Stallone's bits)

* The twists were way too obvious

* The CGI blood is silly.
* The CGI for the night sky around the boat (and for moving vehicle shots) looks TERRIBLE.

Positives include the influx of Thai/Indonesian Action Stars, Statham still being Statham and some fun action at times.

Otherwise, this one should have either been made by 2017 (at the latest) or not at all.

Unless, of course, they could make the Film that people wanted based on the many, MANY Fake AI Trailer Images...

Really Old Man Barney!

A Film that goes from being fun to painful.  The whole thing is a mess and not even an enjoyable one.

Forgotten TV: The Last Completely New Episode of 'The Outer Limits'

 The 7th lowest rated Episode also comes from Season 7.

It's also the last Episode that is not, in some way, a Clip Show.
So, I guess the 2nd to last Episode is one too? 
I'm sure we'll find out soon.

For now, let's look at the Episode known as...

A woman- SNL's Nora Dunn- is just trying to live a normal life.

That all changes when a story about her ends up in a local tabloid.
The story?

She was abducted by Aliens 17 years ago!

They experimented on her and life moved on.

Oh, and these guys are Stock Footage from a Season 1 Episode.
This is also the final Episode to explicitly be about Aliens in the Series.

Her Daughter- Katherine Isabelle?!?- has had a hard time with the whole thing, especially Mom waking up screaming all of the time.

With the story out, there's even more tension.

She's been confiding in her English Teacher and things have generally been improving in the last year.

What could go wrong?

Oh right- the guy is actually one of the Aliens!  He's here to take Isabelle because she is a product of the abduction.

Somehow Mom never pieced one and two together.

His plan ultimately fails when Mom frees the Daughter from the necklace and stabs the guy, making him slowly morph into a Grey...and then a puddle.

A decent bit of melodrama that leads to a decent conclusion.

For starters, Dunn and Isabelle both do really good jobs here.  They feel 'natural' and I believe that they are Mother-Daughter.

The Abduction Scenes are done well, with a different glow (see below), edited into quick shots (to show missing seconds of memory) and lots of implied bad stuff.
Season 7 was apparently the one with no 'bad stuff' like Nudity and implied sex.

Dunn's flashback double is quite convincing too.

The final segment is a bit too rushed for me.  We get the twist, the full reveal, the rejection, the fight and then the death.
I would also love to know how things followed up with them, given that the Teacher is now goop.

Did they move?  I want to know!

Regardless, this isn't a bad Episode per se- just one that is light on the hard sci-fi and heavy on the melodrama.

Next time, we jump back to Season 6.  Will this one be an indictment of GMOs before everyone really knew what they were?  See you then...

Tubi Thursday: Hell Night (1981)

 With School out now, let's look back at the dangers of, well, School.
Specifically, a Frat/Sorority tradition that goes terribly wrong!

This is...

A quartet of young people- including Linda Blair and Dick Van Patten's son Vince- are locked in a spooky house for the night as their frat/sorority inititiation.

I think the fact that Vince is dressed as Robin Hood after his Dad was in When Things Were Rotten is probably a coincidence.

They split into two duos, since Vincent and the other girl- Suki Goodwin- are horny teens.  Naturally.

Blair and Peter Barton's Jeff talk about class warfare and such until...

...spooky stuff starts to happen.

It turns out that the people who made them stay set up 'scream boxes' and rigged up stuff like projectors to make ghosts appear.

Boy, this Lobby Card makes you think that this is a Ghost Film.
It's not.

Something- or someone- is killing off the people behind the pranks and scares.

It all relates to a crazy, impossible story of a Dad that killed off of a family of mutants in this House.

The killer (or killers) is kind of slow at this, mind you, and likes to spend about five minutes sneaking up on each victim.

No rush, man- you can fill up the 1 hour and 42-minute runtime.

Can Jeff- who sadly doesn't have the titular Powers of Matthew Star in this one- and Blair survive the night as the body count rises?

Can they stay dressed like this to make every promotional image look like a Gothic Film?

To find out, stream it now.

A solid Film that could do with a bit of Editing to deal with its pacing issues.

The Film is honestly better than I was expecting.  In part, I get it confused One Dark Night, which doesn't help.

In any event, the Film looks great, has a simple premise and really delivers on the setup parts of a Slasher Film.

In many ways, it hits the same beats as Slashers were all starting to hit at this time.

At its best, it milks maximum tension from each setup.  At its worst, it lingers on long shots past the point that most modern viewers will get bored.

The Film also has a subtle message about how 'lower class' people can often have very useful skills (like Blair) that save their lives.
Snooty rich guys- less so.

Hell Night is a solid recommendation for fans of early Slashers and '80s Horror.  It will really pull you in.

A Film that is honestly way more engaging than you might think.  Then again, Frank Darabont worked on it, so...that tracks.

'90s Fun?: Ninja Scroll (1993)

 A Film that I remember being crazy and bloody when I was younger.
As an older man, am I a fan of this still?

This is Ninja Scroll, the 1993 Anime Film that inspired many, many people.

The Plot involves a crazy conspiracy involving multiple ninjas and some gold.  Meanwhile, a stoic jerk named Jubei is dragged into things.

As luck would have it, the whole thing ties into a person from his past and he's a badass Samurai.

Can he work with a lady Ninja and a creepy Master to save the day?
Does this one hold up?

To find out, read on...

A mysterious man- Jubei- is attacked by two strangers on a bridge.

He takes them both out, but the 2nd man was apparently in a wooden body suit.

The tiny man's attempt to shoot Jubei fails and we never see the tiny man again.

A bunch of ninjas are sent into the Woods to look for bad guys, only to be killed by two powerful Ninja.

The main one is a giant, rock man with Thanos' double blade from Endgame and chops up so many people that it rains blood.

He kills the lead guy and captures the lead lady.

He does bad stuff to her (which is plot relevant TBF) before Jubei shows up to help her escape.

I don't think that I need to blur this, right?

Jubei doesn't agree to help her and they go their separate ways.

The stone guy attacks Jubei this time and Jubei kills him as he's affected by a strange malady.

He chops off the guy's fingers and his own blade hoists him Friday the 13th: Part IV style.

She poisoned him earlier when he, well, you know.

Jubei is greeted by Cliche Creepy Old Master Guy, but still refuses the Call to Action.

He's attacked at an Onsen by a lady who can animate her tattoos.
This (and the stone guy) clearly inspired Elektra.

The key thing is that he's poisoned by the lady and must work with the Master.

He joins forces with the Ninja who knows that something big is going to happen.

Jubei hears the name 'Gemma' and flashes back to when he killed the guy for being a corrupt a-hole.

On the way to where a bunch of gold is coming in, they keep getting attacked by different Ninjas with different powers.

That's Act 2 for you, complete with a blind swordsman (not Zatoichi), a shadow guy and this guy who is apparently a Human Wasp's Nest!

Please don't think about this too hard.

The trio prepare a plan to stop the theft of the gold, but it falls apart when the bad guy appears in disguise.

It's Gemma!
He's...just the guy from Fist of the North Star then?

The Ninja lady dies- ending her Arc of nearly dying to save Jubei multiple times- and the Master takes out the last remaining henchman.

Jubei fights Gemma and learns that he has the power of immortality!
He'll just keep coming back.

So, Jubei just cuts him and lets the melting gold on the ship coat him until he sinks to the bottom.
Off to the Sequel (which is incomplete).

The End.

It's a bloody good love letter to the best (and worst) of 1990s Anime and Animation in general.

This Movie still looks pretty amazing, even on a DVD from 1998.  Every frame was made specially (or so they say) so there is no repeat animation or filler.

The Film is very dynamic and it is easy to see why the Action inspired people like The Wachowskis (to the point where this Director worked on The Animatrix).

Plot is somewhat of a different Story as it is a pretty loose collection of melodrama, action and convenience.  It's not terrible, but most Reviews talk/talked about the Action and Style.

It is absolutely not for everyone with all of the blood, severed limbs and all of what happens to the lead Ninja lady.

Ultimately, older me can appreciate all of the work and style put into the insanity.  That said, the main Villain is kind of...odd.

Next time, I jump to my Digital Library to talk about an OOP TV Movie.  It has everyone's favorite Monsters, but also nobody ever seems to remember it except for me.  Stay tuned...