Immediate Response: Coyote vs. Acme (2023/2026)

 A Film that wasn't going to be released just a year or so ago.

I had to support it.

The Good

* The Plot is a good one, taking inspiration from an idea that people have talked about for a long time.  Why not sue the Company whose products always backfire?

* Will Forte is great here, playing a mix of Comedic and Dramatic.  His Arc is key to the Film.

* The mix of Animation and Live Action is great.  Lots of subtle bits that just sell you on this weird world.
* The Film has great gags and a great message.

* John Cena's giant bolo ties get a mention.  They're something.

The Bad

* The Animation is CGI and cel shaded.  I got used to the different look, but it's not everyone's favorite.
* How did you not end with a 'That's All Folks!"  Weird.

* Some of the more obscure stuff in the Film (like Dr. Peter Lorre) or stuff that's supposed to be subtext why they picked 1992 to start at) will probably be lost on many people.

A really good Film that I'm so happy to be vindicated by.  If it was bad or just so-so, it would be a darn shame.

It's so good and I'm glad that it's not rotting on a Server somewhere.

Bail Bond: For Your Eyes Only (1981)

Roger Moore's Bond is back and he's not going to Space this time.  We promise!

This is For Your Eyes Only, the Sequel to Moonraker that dialed back the sci-fi elements to basically nothing.

The Story involves a missing MacGuffin, Bond joining forces with a lady on a mission and the usual Bond antics.  Back to basics!

In a way, this one is quite different because it is based (very loosely) on a short story (actually 2) and not a Novel by Ian Fleming. 
To fill in the gaps, we get Scenes taken from and/or inspired by other Stories, including Live and Let Die and Goldfinger.

There's a strong connection to a previous Bond Film WITHOUT Moore, but I'll get to that shortly.

Just know that this is the *serious* Bond Film and will only be like 30% over the top this time.
To see how that works, read on...

In the Cold Open, Bond is picked up by work via Helicopter.

However, the Pilot is killed and it is taken over by....Not Blofeld.
There was a dispute over ownership of the Character, so the Producers killed off his Shemp here.

A seemingly normal boat is actually hiding some advanced doohickey and gets blown up.  Now the object is in play.

Elsewhere, a woman visits her Parents on their boat, but they are killed by the Pilot while she's inside!

Temps de récupération!

Because the Actress is French.

Bond is called in to go looking for the thing.

Notably, this Film doesn't feature M as his Actor was really sick.

They didn't want to recast him, so he's 'on leave.'

You know, during this crisis.

Sadly, he died after this came out and was recast in the next Film.

As it turns out, the guy that Bond wants answers from is the same one that she wants to kill.

She gets her way, but they must then escape in a tiny, banged up car.

Supposedly, it was Moore's favorite one to drive.

Bond meets with the next guy in the line- played by Julian Glover.

He's a Greek Importer and he puts Bond on the trail of another guy who is a drug smuggler.

FYI Glover lost the role of Bond to Moore.

Bond seduces a woman working for him, but she's then killed by the bad guys.

She was played by Pierce Brosnan's then-wife and he visited the set.
Future Bond got to see Present Bond be implied to have slept with his Wife.

She died in 1991 and never saw Pierce take up the role.

The other smuggler is Topol, of Fiddler on the Roof or Flash Gordon fame.
It depends on whether you watch Musicals.

In any event, he's actually NOT the bad guy, but Glover is.

A bunch of shooting and other hijinks ensue.  There's too much stuff in 2 hours for me to cover in-depth.

In any event, they stop the Russians from getting the MacGuffin and our Heroine doesn't kill Glover...because Topol does it for her.

Bond and the woman don't answer his watch phone (which works better than a real phone today) and go skinny dipping instead.

As such, they don't get to talk to this Margaret Thatcher impersonator.
The End.

She was the real villain all along!

A fun, action packed Film with a pretty flimsy Plot.

As a composite Story, the basic idea- go and retrieve the thing- is the bulk of it.
This one fills the remainder with the usual Stunts, random gags and a B-Plot involving a fairly annoying Ice Skater.

She was the Lead in The Watcher in the Woods though.
We also get the final appearance of the 'Man with Wine Glass' from the last 2 Films (always surprised by Bond appearing).

If you can accept that the Plot is a pretty loose series of events, you can still really enjoy this one for the spectacle it is trying to be.
There's an attempt at a full romance with his Female Lead that may or may not work for you.

Apparently, there was thought that Moore might not come back, so they planned an opening with him visiting the Wife's grave (from On Her Majesty's Secret Service) and that showing the new guy.
Moore- obviously- returned, so we get a connection to Lazenby instead.

Many parts of the Plot feel out of that same Film, which is neat (if intentional).  This mention also gives us a trio of future Game of Thrones Actors represented (Glover, Rigg and Charles Dance as a Henchman!)...

Next up, let's jump to the '90s with a different kind of Spy Thriller.  Can one Agent stop a nameless Assassin?  Stay tuned...

Tubi Thursday: Jurassic Reborn (2025)

 Let's jump from Fox/Disney properties over to Universal ones.

When we got Jurassic World: Rebirth in Theaters, we got this at home...

On an Island somewhere, people started making baby Raptors- as you do.

They grew too fast, however, because something something Science and now everyone needs to escape.

Our Heroes must flee from usually-off-camera Raptors to get outside and then- hopefully- to the mainland.

En route is the bad guy- Adam Baldwin- and he's here to collect the Dinosaurs.

Since they never did it for their Jurassic World 1 rip-off, he's going to sell them as weapons.

Please enjoy the one docked boat they Film in front of.

Our Heroes get split up and we learn that one of them is a traitor, selling them out to Baldwin.

It's the guy here, which is different from Jurassic World: Rebirth...

...since that guy WAS the main Villain (aka Baldwin), but also went on the Island and dressed nearly identical.

This is what happens when you see a Trailer and go 'Make that, but cheaper!'

On the plus side, their lone Raptor model looks good.

Can our Heroes escape the Island?
How likely is it that Baldwin gets eaten?

Will they introduce a 2nd kind of Dinosaur?

To find out, stream it now.

They are up to 12 feet long, depending on the Scene.

A pretty so-so affair, but at least it's not false advertising.

Obviously, any fan of The Asylum (or at least someone like me) knows that they can do CGI Dinosaurs with relative ease, so no need to cheat.

The Plot is pretty basic and it does the same few tricks over and over again.

Imply Raptors behind doors/around corners (because CGI ain't cheap).
Cut from Actors to full CGI shot of somewhere and hope that we think that they are connected.
Raptors that only slowly walk up or leap at you.

Melodrama milked by having people left behind/sacrificing themselves.

Was Rebirth a great Film?  Not really, but I don't hate it either.
Is Reborn a great Film?  Objectively no, but it's so middle of the road that it doesn't stand out.

It's pretty average and the kind of Film that would just film its Actors in, say, The Asylum's Parking Lot and hope that you don't notice.

Why does the Secret Lab have paved spots and Reserved Parking Signs?

A Film that isn't great, but does give you what you'd expect.  If you're expecting anything amazing or unique, go elsewhere.

Buy or Cel: Justice League (TV vs. 2017)

 A long-forgotten Segment returns!

In this case, let me compare the Pilot Episode of Justice League to the infamous Feature Film.

Both got some setup for Batman and Superman in the build-up.
Seems fair.

In one corner, we have the Film that cost more than (one can assume) the entire Production Budget of all of DC TV Shows combined...

...and the 3-Part Pilot Episode known simply as 'Secret Origins.'

The Cartoon has an invasion of White Martians, who trick Superman into disarming a la Superman 4.

They prove too great for him to stop on his own.  Same goes for Batman.

On the Film side, the World is in danger as Steppenwolf arrives on Earth to prepare the Earth for Darkseid's arrival.

The Show has the advantage of 4 Seasons of Batman and 3 of Superman.

As such, we got Flash introduced in a one-off and Green Lantern...just not that one.

Even so, they have to introduce Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter and the John Stewart version of GL.

Alas, the setup for Aquaman went to waste due to Network mandates.

In the Film, Superman is dead (for now) and we have Batman forming a team with Aquaman, The Flash, Wonder Woman (who had a few Scenes in BvS) and Cyborg.

As you can see, both had to do some heavy lifting with new Characters while also telling the Story.

The Cartoon has the heroes uniting and working together to save the Earth, notably giving Manhunter some payback against the threat that killed his people.

In the aftermath, Batman has given them a Satellite Base and we know that more great stuff is on the way.

In the Film, the League manages to revive Superman, survive a fight with him and then stop Steppenwolf from razing the Earth.

In the aftermath, they pose...and Superman is about to have a foot race with Flash.
Roll Credits.

Similar hero poses too.

This one is not as even as you would hope for.

Yes, the Film is a hodge-podge of Snyder's work, studio mandates and Joss Whedon's strange humor.  No, I won't compare the Pilot to the Snyder Cut.

Were you expecting that?

The comparison is more apt than I remembered, since both had to introduce most of the Cast as the Story unfolds.
What the Show did well was make the threat global as well as personal.  Manhunter wants to defeat the White Martians to save his new home AND to get a little measure of, well, Justice.

You could argue that there's an attempt to personalize it by having the Boxes be near the homes of our Heroes in the Film, but...I mean, come on.

WW in the Show sees the threat to Man's World and steps up.
WW in the Film is just kind of already here and the attack on her fellow Amazons is only a little upsetting.

The Show splits up the team into groups, which helps set up the dynamics and leaves more room for Character Arcs to begin.

Nostalgia aside, the Show simply tells a better Story in roughly the same amount of time.
No need to get sticky with me about it.

A closer comparison than I was expecting.  That said, the Show does more in the same amount of time to make me want to see more of this Team in action.

Forgotten TV: The Outer Limits - 'The New Breed'

 Let's round out the Top 10 Highest Rated Episodes with a Season 1 favorite.

It's a tale of hubris, desperation and reality setting in!

In 'The New Breed,' a Scientist - John Boy from 'The Waltons'- has invented nanites that can remove impurities and cure disease!

The catch- he has to wait for all of that boring testing first.

His fellow Professor is getting married to his Sister.

What great news!

He then finds out that he has Cancer and it is nearly impossible to treat.
What bad news!

He's got so much to live for.

He asks the guy to try out the nanites on him.

No such luck.

Desperately, he sneaks into the lab and injects himself.

The cancer goes away and his body improves, as shown by his increased fitness, no longer needing glasses and being able to hold his breath for a long, long time.

Unfortunately, the nanites don't stop there.

They give him gills, seeing the earlier exercise as a thing to improve on.

They try to deactivate them, but they won't stop working 'until they are done.'

The nanites morph his body, giving him strange coverings that act as protection against further medical intervention.

The duo can't see a way out and he finally asks his Brother-in-Law to kill him.

He does and the research is destroyed (understandably)...but his now-former fiancée seems to have them!

The End.

Body Horror on full display here and I'm all for it.

I both love and loathe Body Horror.  I definitely find what my limits are- usually eye and mouth stuff- but I love it all the same.

This one builds it up nicely, setting up the context in Act 1, building up to the reveal in Act 2 and going hog wild in Act 3.

The man grows eyes in the back of his head!

The actual Story of the Episode is a good one too, as you can completely understand why the guy would take the risk.
You're with him when things are going amazingly.  You empathize when things start to turn.

His poor fiancée has no idea about any of this and now she's got it.  All of the notes and research are destroyed too- whoops!

Sadly, I don't think that there's a follow-up here.

It's easy to see why this one is so highly-rated as it delivers on the promise just enough to freak you out, but also not going so far as to turn him into some sort of 'evolved man of the future' or something.

It's so good that- like most things in the '90s- it was immortalized as a Trading Card!

Next time, I take a different approach to these and cover the original Series for a bit.  Don't worry- there's some overlap to cover in the future.  See you then...

Forgotten Sequels: Scary Movie 2 (2001)

 Has time been kind to this Sequel?  All signs point to 'no.'

This is Scary Movie 2, the Film that discards the tagline of the last Film.  The original Film had a 'No Sequel' line on the Poster.

It made too much money and was too much fun to make, so future releases- like my DVD Set- have it crossed through.
We currently sit at 5 Sequels, although only 2 were done by the Wayans Brothers.

This Film ditches the Slasher Parody to be about Ghost Stories and Haunted Houses.  I'm sure that parodies of House on Haunted Hill and The Haunting...'s Remakes will age well.
That and a tacked-on Exorcist Parody (since The Version You've Never Seen cut was released in 2000).

For better or worse, this Sequel also fully began the 'And Everything Else' Strategy of Parody that would define the Wayans-less Sequels.
Commercials?  Sure.  Charlie's Angels?  Why not?  Hannibal?  Go for it!

Clocking it at under 80 minutes, why does this still feel stretched thin?

To find out, read on...

The Film begins with a way-too-long Exorcist Parody involving James Woods and Andy Richter (who would make up for this by being in Obsession).

It ends quite abruptly, but not before Andy sings the N-word as part of a 'gag' where the White Actors sing a Rap Song.

Afterwards, we get a confusing 'One Year Later' tag on-screen.
One Year Later from that Scene (which is clearly in the '70s) or One Year Later from the last Film?

Regardless, Cindy isn't dead, Tori Spelling is (sometimes) here and Brenda isn't dead.

A Doctor- Tim Curry (damn!)- and his Assistant- David Cross- plan to try and awaken some ghosts at a Haunted (Hell) House by way of pretending to do a Sleep Study.

This is right from the Remake's Plot (mentioned in the Intro).
I guess Curry saying that he also wants to get laid is a new addition?

* A Deleted Scene explains that Ray is not dead- since it's the Sequel- but there's conflict between him and Brenda.  They didn't follow up on that AT ALL in the Film- they're a Couple again- so they cut the explanation *

They all meet up at the House- including the Masterson Brother not in Prison and a girl named Theo- and the Caretaker (Chris Elliot) is all sorts of gross.

That's the joke.

A whole bunch of this Movie is just a Parody of Poltergeist (whose last Film was released in 1988) too.

The Caretaker and Cross (this Sunday on ABC!) also don't get along.

Remember that bit in Wild Wild West where Jim and Loveless make jokes about their missing legs and being black (respectively)?

Here it is again.

A direct reference to The Changeling (which came out in 1980!) leads to...an extended Parody of a Nike Commercial (I think)?

Was this joke even current a year after this came out (let alone 25)?!?

It turns out that the culprit behind the whole thing is the last Owner, who is now a mean ghost in the form of Richard Moll.

* A Deleted Scene sets this up better, but they actively cut MOST of Tim Curry's Scenes *

After nearly killing Cross, he possesses the Caretaker (who was last seen 30 minutes earlier) to do the aforementioned Hannibal Parody and then this Charlie's Angels bit.

It's one of the few bits I remember (even if it sucks), so fair play...I guess.

I took this Shot before the Fountain makes it look like they're peeing

After lots of filler, they capture the ghost and everyone leaves...except for Tori Spelling.

She has 3 Scenes where she falls for the Ghost and then dies from a chandelier.  Only her and Curry die (and his is off-screen).

We end like the last one with Cindy being scared...but the car hits the Caretaker instead.
Are we done?

The End.

A Buffet of Comedy...that has been left out all day.  Time to change out the trays!

This one tries to do too much and also not enough.
They barely give out Arcs for the Characters, cut a bunch of content and then did lots of prolonged schtick to fill out the runtime.

Have I mentioned that the Film is not even 80 minutes long?

The attempt to do something other than just make fun of Slasher Films is appreciated.  It's just a shame that the solution they came up is 'Um, everything...I guess?' 

This is a Film where we go from Hannibal to Charlie's Angels to The Haunting.  It's erratic, at best.
The riffs on the source materials are either kind of dumb, uninspired or a bit offensive.

Many funny people- like Curry, Cross, Richter and Elliot- try to make it work.  Others just say their lines and hope for the best.

I'm not sure why we needed FOUR more after this, especially after a criminal waste of Natasha Lyonne!

Next up, let's return to Bond and Roger Moore.  This one is more grounded and features a quite iconic Theme to boot!  Stay tuned...