Bail Bond: The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

 After a long(ish) gap, Bond is back!

The Spy Who Loved Me is the 1977 entry into the Series and yet another Roger Moore Film.  I'm pumped!

With a three-year gap between Films, did much change?
Well, we have a new Director- although he did do You Only Live Twice with Connery- and 2 new Writers.  Supposedly Tom Mankiewicz did an uncredited rewrite.

In short, this is NOT based on the Book whatsoever and was compiled from a composite of various Screenplays and tweaked when rights weren't available.

We wouldn't get SPECTRE again until, well, Spectre with Daniel Craig.
This would turn out to be the final Film by French Cinematographer Claude Renoir (not the painter) as well.

The Plot involves a crazy rich guy (in both senses of the phrase) and a Plot that manages to unite Britain and Russia.  It also introduces one of- if not the- the most famous Bond Villain Henchmen ever in Jaws.

This Film has a few Jaws connections, it seems, from this Character to using a shark and even...Albert R. Broccoli turning Steven Spielberg down when he offered to Direct?!?
That's real (according to Wikipedia)!

Will this Bond Film return things to glory?  To find out, read on...

We get a big Intro that does a number of notable things.

There's a parallel Scene with Bond leaving his lady and Barbara Bach leaving her man.
Said man is the lead person pursuing Bond down the slopes and gets killed.

Bond parachutes into the Film's Title Sequence (both parodied by American Dad later)

This is Karl Stromberg.  
No, he's not Werner Herzog.

He's a crazy rich guy who is leveraging a tech for tracking submarines as part of his evil plan.

To check off an Austin Powers box, he drops a lady in a shark tank to kill her.

He has two main Henchmen- Jaws and the burly guy from Dr. Phibes Rises Again (the 2nd greatest Film of all time).

Anyone who has seen the blueprints to the device must die!

Moore and Bach are also separately sent to find just that, meeting up with a source in Egypt.

They aren't combative, but they aren't working together...until Jaws tries to kill them both.

They get away and keep pursuing the tech while slowly falling in love.
Like the Title!

Jaws, of course, shows up to kill him on the train a la Live and Let Die.
I guess he's early for his Show Up at the Finale to kill Bond, since he misses it.

This is a Bond Film and we need implausible, but amazing technology.

In this case, Bond and Bach are pursued by the bad guys on the road by a bike, some cars and a helicopter (flown by Caroline Munro!)!

Bond drives into the Ocean and the car turns into a submarine...kind of.

They end up on a Submarine together when the Brits and Russia agree to join forces.

Things get complicated when she learns that Bond killed her man (who was played by the guy who nearly took Moore's job).

On the bad guy's ship, a shootout/fight breaks out.

Bond uses science (he does?!?) to ride a bomb to take out the blast shield to stop the evil plan.

Jaws and Bond have one last face-off (pre-finale) and he uses a big-ass magnet to drag Jaws into the water.  He fights the shark, so Jaws vs. Jaws?

This is after Bond took out Stromberg.

Bond and Bach escape Stromberg's Base (Atlantis) before the Navy destroys it.

They get away in an escape pod (naturally) and their vehicle is brought in by both sides.
Bond makes a sex pun and the Film ends.

A big improvement over the last Film- sorry, Scaramanga.

This one feels like a fully formed Script and it all flows together tonally.  There are silly moments- like how Jaws can rip doors off of cars and can't die- and it doesn't fight against the Film's tone.

The Plot is pretty silly, but treated seriously.  So, when the bizarre stuff happens, you accept it.
After Bond's 27th death quip, you're in it to win it.

Moore said that this was his favorite Bond and, yeah, I can see that.  It doesn't have That Boat Chase, but it is damn good.

This one feels like a big, grand Bond Adventure.

Thankfully, this one brought Bond back to the big time and we got lots more of these Films.  It's crazy to think what life would be like without it.

Speaking of things that life would be different without, is this a rip-off of the Jaws Intro?

Next up, a little diversion to a Parody Film which is topical again.  Has this one aged as well fine wine or Surge Cola?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: 'Tales From The Crypt' - 'Lover Come Hack to Me!'

 An Episode with some interesting people behind the Scenes that made it happen.

It was Written by Michael McDowell, a prolific Author famous for co-Writing Beetlejuice, The Nightmare Before Christmas and the Film adaptation of Thinner.

The Director was Tom Holland, the guy behind Fright Night (and also Thinner) and NOT the Spider-Man one.

With big names behind it, let's see what we get with...

A man marries a rich lady (Amanda Plummer).

He makes it clear to the Aunt that he's taking the lady away and going to get all of the money.

Can you trust a guy who looks like a Samurai Cop?

Their honeymoon is derailed by bad weather and car issues.

They end up at her old House and the guy eventually gets her to come to bed with him.
Apparently, they have never even been undressed around each other.

It all goes well, even as he plans to kill her later that night.

He's woken by a strange sound and sees his new Wife meeting a guy outside.

He watches on in shock as they make love and she talks just like she did with him.

Unlike with him, she takes the nearby axe and kills him!
He tries to stop her, but can't make contact.

She's a ghost!

He's jolted awake by this and greeted by his new Wife.

He tells her what he saw and she doesn't dispute it.

She has the axe now and is going to kill him, since everything is 'perfect' and will only 'get worse.'

He confesses his plans to kill her, thinking that it will help, and draws the gun he brought.

He goes to fire, but there's no bullets and he's chopped up.

In the aftermath, Widow and Aunt talk about her future Daughter.
The End.

A simple, but twisted tale.

The Story itself is not some big, amazing one full of twists and turns.

Like most of these, it is adapted from a 50s-60s Horror Comic.

The thing that makes this one stand out more than it might otherwise is the execution.
Pun fully intended.

The way it is all framed, the bit with the ghost and the whole package really helps.

This is the key difference between just doing a Horror Story and doing one with a great Writer (who we lost in 1994) and Director.

It may not be anyone's favorite Tales from the Crypt Episode, but it went a step above for me.

A solid Episode and simple Premise that was definitely improved with the talent on board.  It's like using the really good, fancy cheese when you make lasagna.

Rare Flix: A Cold Night's Death (1973)

 A TV Movie from a Decade before I was born- why not?!?

As the World gets hotter and hotter, let's jump back 50+ years for A Cold Night's Death.
This TV Movie appears to be the bridge/missing link between The Thing From Another World and John Carpenter's The Thing.

A pair of Scientists are called into a frozen base up in the Mountains.  They find some strange stuff and a dead guy running it. 
Can the new guys figure out why the guy went crazy?  Can they finish the research?

This one was Produced by Aaron Spelling, which sure is unexpected for a '70s TV Movie/Special.  That was sarcasm, for all of my younger readers.

The duo has to experiment on the monkeys there because...something to do with space travel.  That's not important, so let's move on.

Is this a forgotten gem or just another TV Movie?
To find out, read on...

In Audio Logs (foreshadowing the Game Cliche by Decades), we learn that the previous Scientist at this base sounded crazy and cut off communication.

This is all relayed to us by an uncredited Vic Perrin, famous for voicing such Characters as Dr. Zin, Sinestro on Super Friends and the original Control Voice on The Outer Limits.
He died in 1989, so he wasn't there for the Series I'm currently covering.

They are flown to the Base by a Pilot (the only other Actor credited here) and find the guy frozen by the Tape Recorder.

He froze to death, but yet he didn't seem to be trapped.
Spooky.

They work at the Base- which is experimenting on how chimps react at high altitude because whatever the hell NASA- and things are good...at first.

Tensions rise as time goes by (shown by their stubble).

Wallach (left) thinks that Culp (right) is experimenting on him, but he says that he isn't.

They seem to make up...a bit when they hear a noise and find a chimpanzee on the loose.

Things don't improve long term, however, as they don't trust each other.

All the while the experiments on the chimpanzees continues.

Culp is the only one who can/will work outside (shoveling the snow) and he ends up trapped out there!

Culp manages to get his way back in- thanks to a spot he opened earlier in the Film- and he's absolutely not doing well.

He was, indeed, frozen today.

Exasperated and nearly dead, he tries to explain what he figured out- the original Scientist was driven crazy by the chimpanzees.

Wallach doesn't believe him- and he's also a bit crazy- and shoots Culp.

He goes back to the Recording Room when he hears the wind and snow coming through the door.  He turns around when he hears the door close...and lock.

As Culp tried to explain to him, the Chimpanzees' Leader was experimenting on them as reprisal for their experiments on the creatures.

He's now trapped Wallach in there.
The End (or beginning)!

A minimalist Film that manages to do quite alot.

Minimalist?  I must be one of those fancy, highly paid Critics to use such fancy language!

Jokes aside, I did like this one quite a bit.  It is glacially paced at first- pun fully intended- but does pick up.  If you can get invested in the Culp-Wallach dynamic, it really works.

As stated, this reminds me of the sense of paranoia and mistrust that The Thing (1982) cultivated so well.  I wonder if Carpenter was inspired by this in any way.
It all could be a coincidence.

Atmosphere is 1,000% the name of the game here and the Film does well with (technically) only 4 Actors playing parts (I don't count the frozen guy or the chimpanzees).
This could easily be turned into a Play with very few tweaks OR a short-form Horror Game.

It's been over 50 years- it's probably not under copyright, fellas!

It was nice to escape the extreme heats (with it only being May here!) for the extreme cold...even if both leaving you trying to get to the pool.

Next time, let's start June off with the return of Bond...James Bond.  Will this Film about Love woo me too?  Stay tuned...

Immediate Response: The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

 I had to see this in a Theater.
This is the Way!

The Good

* The Film looks great.  All of the visuals are top notch, from the shiny beskar to the Hutt Base that looks like a rotting pumpkin.

* The Plot gives you the action you'd expect, the settings you like and a nice turn or two in the middle.

* Grogu is a delight. 
His little friends are great too.

* Now that we got Sigourney Weaver in Star Wars, is Predator next?

* The Hutts have never looked weirder and more gross.  Is this actually a bad thing?
* We finally get to see Zeb again, if only for a bit.

The Bad

* A simple mention of Carl Weathers' Greef Karga would have been nice.
* Likewise, there seems to have been an attempt to make this not feature/mention other Characters- like Bo-Katan or other Mandalorian fighters.
* Just looking at the Hutt Planet makes me feel like a need a tetanus shot.

All in all, a Film that feels like a bigger scale/Budget Story from the Show.  
If you're expecting something different, then, well, it's not for you.

Fans of the Show and Star Wars in general should certainly check this out for the loud, big screen experience.

Forgotten TV: 'The Outer Limits' Wants you to Chill out!

 Is the 4th time the charm?

This Episode of The Outer Limits is the 4th lowest rated one on IMDB.
Is it bad?

Is it at least a Sci-Fi Premise this time?

This is...

A group of people- including Costas Mandylor and Barry Pepper- kill some Soldiers and steal a truck.

They want what is inside.

It's actually a Soldier...and then...not the missiles that they were expecting.

What is in the box?

That's the question on everyone's lips, save for this Captain who was also hiding in the truck.

The Major- Colm Feore- is going to torture this lady to get what he wants.

Nearby, the box is penetrated (by bullets) and unsealed.

Something is watching them.

As Pepper lights up a torch to torch...ure her, the creature shoots over and freezes him via digital sharpening of his image!

He's frozen and shattered and now know that a weird little alien that freezes you was in the box!

Can they stop it?
Can they get along?

No, of course not!  The good guys survive and the bad ones die with the alien.  Duh.

*******

This one does feel like a Sci-Fi Story, but...shouldn't there be more here?

These ones always have some sort of moral and this one...well, doesn't.
This is not a bad idea for an Episode.  It's a good Plot.

I just feel like this was missing something.

This feels like a Sci-Fi Channel Picture that was condensed and had the stakes lowered.  They are just trapped in a building with a nameless alien that freezes stuff.

The Film would have more of them or some other aliens too.

Is this a bad Episode of Sci-Fi Television?  No.
Is this not a great Episode of The Outer Limits?  Yes.

Don't hate me- i said it!

Next time, we go back to Season 1 and...oh, damn it!  It's...well, you'll see if you don't know already.

Import/Export: Night Watch (2004)

 Random chance has won the day and I'm finally covering a Film that I've always Wanted to.

That's kind of a lie- I just wanted to use the pun.

This is Night Watch, a 2004 Film that made Timbur Bekmambetov's Career in America.  It led to a Sequel and a slew of American Films that...exist.

He just had a Film out this Year with Chris Pratt, but it wasn't the one with Yoshi in it.

This one is loosely based on a 1998 Novel, but is more known as one of the many 'Everything you know is wrong' Films that were popular in the wake of The Matrix/Men in Black.

Anton is a guy who discovers what is going on and is now a part of things.  Can he survive and solve a mystery that proves to be personal?

To find out, read on...

In a strange Cold Open, we get narration about how there was a big battle between the Dark and the Light.

The Dark Leader loved to fight, but the Light one didn't and forced a truce, establishing the Night Watch and Day Watch to enforce it.

It cuts to 1992 and a guy is paying a Witch to do something terrible to his Girlfriend who left him when she got pregnant with another guy's kid.

Strangers- who he spotted briefly earlier- run in and stop the ritual, saving the baby.

They are then surprised to find out that he can see them.

The Film then abruptly jumps ahead 12 years...what?!?
It will be important later, but there had to have been a better way to do this.

In any event, the guy is an Other- people with powers- and, like all of them, must choose between Dark and Light.  No gray here.

He's a Seer (he gets vague visions of the future) and has worked for the Light during this time.

In spite of that, he's kind of terrible at the job.  How is this just NOW becoming an issue?

He stops a Vampire pair from feeding on a kid, but gets nearly killed.

Backup arrives and he inadvertently kills the Male Vampire with light, causing him to turn into a statue and crack like a Twilight Vampire.

That's a thing in multiple Films?!?

The main Plot involves a woman who is apparently a Tempest.  She's cursed and causing all sorts of evil/danger around her.

Separately, there's talk of a strong Other who will be the key to balance.
You know, like Anakin was.

I'm sure that this won't come up later.

The kid from earlier is still being targeted- I wonder why.

The Lady Vampire was put back on his trail and our Hero (alongside his new Companion) save him from 'The Gloom' (a vague, dark presence).

It isn't easy.

Also she was pretending to be an Owl when he first met her.

While trying to find the source of the curse for the lady who's a Tempest, our Hero discovers a shocking truth.

The Witch lied to him!  The kid he nearly killed was actually his own.

12 years ago, you say.  

Hmm...

Our Heroes are split up to protect the kid- since the Vampire is still loose- and figure out who cursed the lady.

As it turns out, the answer is...kind of stupid.

Our Hero goes back to save the kid since the Lady Vampire got him in her grasp.

They stop her, but then the head of the Dark shows up.

A fight ensues between our Hero and him, which leads to the bad guys revealing the (misinterpreted) truth to the kid- who is actually our Hero's Son!

The kid chooses the Dark and...well, see how they resolve this in the Sequel.

The End.

A Film that is full of style and flair, but is there more to it?

The big draw of this Film is the idea of the Plot (not necessarily the execution) and the crazy visuals.
The latter seems to have become strongly associated with the Director- for better or worse.

Being known for one thing only can't backfire, right M. Night?

The Plot is all sorts of bizarre and jumbled, which is not exactly helped by the constant visual distractions.  Don't get me wrong- many of them are great, but they are distractions.

Little things- like showing a car driving- requires CGI shots of the engine combusting, for example.

If you get past the visuals, the Plot is kind of silly and disjointed.  The time jump really telegraphs the twist too.

The Film seems to have big aspirations, lots of ideas for crazy visuals and a general idea of a world to build, but it never quite came together for me.

Maybe in the Sequel.

I'll leave you with this real shot from the Film...done in Virtua Fighter?!?

It's also a key moment in the climax.

Next up, a look back at an out-of-print Film from the early '70s.  The Plot reminds me of one of my Top 10 Favorite Films, so...I'm hyped.  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: 'Tales From the Crypt'- 'Dig That Cat...He's Real Gone'

 A look back at the final 3rd of the Show's actual Premiere.

When it debuted, the Show had 3 Segments run back-to-back-to-back.  I covered the first one, but I'm skipping the 2nd one (since it is Christmas themed).

As such, let's take a different look at death in...

Like the first one, we get a Cryptkeeper Intro and then an Intro from the Lead Character.

I'm curious to see when this drops off and why.

In any event, this guy- Joe Pantoliano- is bragging about how he can't die and stay dead...from inside of a coffin.

In a flashback, he shows us that he was a hard on his luck guy who met with a Scientist.

The guy did an experiment on him that involved transplanting an organ from a cat that is somehow the thing that 'gives it nine lives.'

Now he's got it.

After the Doctor shoots him (one life down) to prove that it would work, he comes up with a get rich plan.

The Doctor pitches an Act where the guy dies and comes back to life.
Robert Wuhl is just crazy enough to try it.

Yes, this is from later, but I take the Caps I can get it.

And so the man- Ulric- begins a series of limited engagement Shows where, he, well, dies.

After the crowd nearly leaves the first time, things are escalated with very gimmicks such as hanging or an Archery Gallery.

He eventually betrays the Doctor, since he's greedy.
Another life down.

The cumulative effects are starting to pile up (something later used in Happy Death Day) and he's even betrayed by the beautiful Carny Woman when he gets rich.

He sets up one last trick in which he'll get 100% of the profits.

It is only then that he (sort of, but not really) miscounted- since the Cat lost one of its lives- and he'll die for real.

This actually doesn't track, but, regardless, The End!

A fun, flashy Tale of irony and greed.

For starters, this one was Directed by Richard Donner, who is one of the 47 Producers on this Show.  As such, it looks great and is dynamically Filmed.

With the Sideshow Theme, they often make you feel like you're really in the Audience.

It also helps that we have some strong Leads like Pantoliano (hot off of The Goonies) and Wuhl (hot off of Batman).  They make this one really stand out.

The build up with the character is nice as he's not a great guy first and you can see things really go to his head.  When he gets his comeuppance at first, you're sad...but he also deserved it.

A pretty simple Moral on display here.  Given that this is based on a '50s Comic, that tracks.

Now can I do an 'Alas Poor Urich' joke if the other guy is also a Skeleton?

A fun example of the style and charm of the Show.  With good Actors and a great Director, you can't go wrong.