'80s Fun: Moontrap (1989)

 What happens when Star Trek meets Evil Dead?  Well...

It's not this Movie- but that is a good tagline for a Poster.
This is Moontrap, a 1989 Sci-Fi Thriller that happens to Star Walter Koenig and Bruce Campbell.

To be fair, my comparison is slightly apt, since the Director- Robert Dyke- did work on Evil Dead 2- with Bruce.

What inspired me to pick this one?  I already bought the Comic Adaptation from a 99 cent bin.
Hopefully I get my money's worth.  You'll likely find out soon.

The Plot involves some strange tech being found near the Moon.  When it creates a killer robot, they realize that they must return to the Moon- remember that this is 1989- to find the source and stop it.

How well does that work out?
To find out, read on...

In the Intro, we see weird tech activating on the Moon.

After that, we meet a pair of Astronauts- Campbell and Koenig- who are flying around in the Shuttle.

They come across a big piece of debris...which turns out to be a Spaceship.

This was the same Decade that brought us the Naked Lady Space Vampire, so why not go inside?

They find a withered body and a red, egg-looking thing.
No Space Eggs- dammit!

It's actually not an egg, but an outer shell for some tech that scans its surroundings and makes a robot body.

Say- this is a great image to use for the Comic's Cover!

They manage to stop it from destroying the NASA Base when Koenig gets above it and blows it up.

You just had to shoot it there- so simple.

This- and some Western Jingoism- gets the duo a trip to the Moon.

Koenig finally lives out his dream- being in charge on a ship.
Also going to the Moon.

The duo are led to strange building and find a lady in some sort of coma.
They wake her up, but are then attacked by another robot!

They defeat the robot, but sadly Bruce's Character is killed.

It's not the last we see of his face though (for context, see the Stinger).

The woman is finally able to speak and explains that she is from another Planet!

She was sent to warn the Earth about the alien threat, but things didn't go well.

On the Moon, the aliens take the scrap from the lander- stranding the pair- and prepare to make an escape ship.

They capture the duo, but Koenig rigs the lander to blow up!

In the aftermath, Koenig is now living with the Alien Lady.

They tease a Sequel, which was planned in 1990...and then 2011...and then 2014...and finally happened in 2017.

The End (until I watch the Sequel on Tubi).

A fun, if not all that great Film.  

The Plot is nothing amazing.  Aliens are real and we have to stop them.

The hook here is the Body Horror aspect in which the Aliens merge dead flesh and machines to make the robots.  The Film doesn't *quite* nail the potential here.

The Budget is a notable thing here, as it uses lots and lots of miniatures- especially once they go to the Moon.
Guess what Mr. Dyke did for Evil Dead 2.

Is the Film worth watching to see Bruce Campbell?  Obviously, yes.

If that's not your thing, well, I don't want to know you.

The Film definitely fights to reach its potential and I'm curious to see if it was achieved in the Sequel.  Just no Bruce- oh well!

Next time, it's October, so let's see if I can dredge up some scares, spooks and gore.  Let's start with something from my digital collection.  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Grave Encounters (2011)

 As October officially begins this week, I'm beginning Halloween Horror Movie Madness yet again.

To start off strong, a Found Footage Film that hit big 15 years ago.

Prepare for some...

The Film begins with a Producer talking about how he was approached by a man to make a Ghost Hunting Show.

He says that this was before there were a dozen (so everyone says that this Film is set in 2003).

This man is the Host.

His Show- Grave Encounters- ran for 5 Episodes and the sixth was never submitted.

Instead, they have the 76 hours of raw footage which THEY cut into a Narrative.

They are staying overnight in a supposedly Haunted Asylum and we see that they are bit loose with the truth- because every one of these Films is inspired by Cannibal Holocaust.

After lots of setup and seeing them in full, uncut takes- again, this is from CH- we finally get some tension build up as they wander around.

The best Character- T.C.- is having none of their shit, so, naturally, the Ghosts pick on him the most, first shoving him down some stairs.

Enough happens to scare them, but now they can't get out.  They're locked in, remember?

It seems that the Residents of the Asylum don't want them to leave...but also want to make them run away.

Pick a lane, Ghosts!

Tensions rise as their appears to be no way out!  
Exits they can find don't seem to help.

As the group gets picked off one-by-one, will they finally capture the proof that they have wanted to find for all of this time?

Will anyone live to show it?
To find out, stream it now.

A Film that is very cliche- even for its time- but is there more to it?

The Plot is basic.  You know how these go.
The Location is good, if cliche.
The Acting is...not especially amazing.
All of the Found Footage cliches are on display here.

Without going full SPOILER, the Film tries to do something where the Building itself (or their perception of it) is being warped in order to keep them inside.
If this wasn't a Found Footage Film, you could get away with the trickery aspect more- but the Cameras see what they see.

There was one- admittedly bad- Ghost Hunter Film which finished halfway and then retold the events with the real things being shown. 
Maybe do that and have them yell at a missing door.  Cut to it again and show them yelling at a wide open door that they just can't see a way out of it.
Just a thought.

In any event, this one has a very predictable beginning and ending.  Between that, a few good ideas slipped in.
On the plus side, Ghosts now to write the whole message equally across the door.  No 'Don't Dead Open Inside' mistakes by them!

A Film that I can see the hype for at the time.  For me, they only tried to do a little bit different and that wasn't enough to avoid being full of cliches.

Streaming Standard: Spider-Noir (2026)

 A Show that many people said 'Why bother?' when it was announced.

Was it too crazy to last?

This is...

In 'Into the Spider-Verse,' Nicolas Cage voiced an over-the-top Crime Noir version of the Character.

In this Show, we see A version of that Character, but not necessarily the same one.

He was simply The Spider and he fought crime, until he vanished 5 years earlier.

Ben Reilly stopped being The Spider when he was unable to save his Fiancé from drowning in the East River (inside of her car).

He's now a Detective only and he's usually drunk and/or depressed.

A woman named Cat comes into his Office and gives him a case to work.

It involves a crime lord named Silvermane (Brendan Gleeson), former Soldiers he served with in WWI and a man who could set himself on fire.

...and live.  That's the key part, isn't it?

The Show is available to watch in either Black and White or True Hue Color (see below).

I chose B&W.
It is Noir, after all.

As it turns out, the Soldiers from Reilly's past- himself included- all ended up with special powers.

This is the Noir version of Sandman and Tombstone, but there's also Electro later.

The downside- what gives them powers is slowly killing them!

Will Ben Reilly become The Spider once again to bring justice to them and the entire City?

Can he still do it?

Will we get at least one Nic Cage freakout?

To find out, stream this Show now.

A well-made Show that is, sadly, only going to get a niche audience.

The Pitch couldn't have been easy- an alternative Timeline version of pre-1930s New York with an older Cage as Spider-Noir.

Hell, Nic Cage is a bit of a niche pick now.  No offense, Mr. Cage.

If you can buy into the premise and watch this one in B&W for full Noir effect, it really works.  Cage is a hard guy to love at first, but you soon realize that he's just hiding his pain and running from responsibility to avoid pain in the future.

He's a good guy.  He's relatable.

The Plot is simple enough to follow, but also complicated enough to be true Noir.  It's another balancing act.

For me, it all came together, thanks to the strong performances of everyone involved- especially Cage and Gleeson.  It won't necessarily be for you.
As for me, I'm just going to deal with the fact that Amazon just cancelled the Show...

A really creative Show that made some big swings.  The Show will either hook you or lose you right away.

Tubi Thursday: Morgan- Killer Doll

 A final Asylum Film- finally!

To close out the Month, let's pivot to their rip-off of MEGAN, just in time for the Sequel to (sadly) bomb in Theaters.

This Doll is not in this Film.

A young woman is a bit crazy and just killed her abusive Dad.

A young woman is troubled, raised by her widowed Dad after an accident.

The former confesses her love via letter and her friends make fun of it.

The girl douses herself in gasoline and burns herself.

The nice girl is left with...this...doll...

The doll comes to life and gets revenge on the people who wronged the dead girl.

Just kidding- she kills this Black Housekeeper who just showed up in the last Scene.
Her body is never shown or mentioned again.

I should also mention that Michael Pare plays the nice girl's Dad.  He's sitting down in 95% of his Scenes and the first time we see him walk around, he gets attacked.

Sitting was a good idea, Michael!

The doll kills a few of her friends.

This one has a twist, so I'll hide it a bit for you.  Highlight below if you want to know...

The Doll is actually the girl, who faked her death via fire.  Just like The Boy.

Who will survive this land of death, interiors and L.A. B-Roll?
To find out, stream it now.

A Film that promises so little and delivers just that.

Fair play- you didn't make a Killer Robot Girl.  She doesn't dance.

That said, you didn't do anything that's actually clever or original with this.
It's all cliche.

Hell, this one gave me flashbacks to The Jolly Monkey- a different Rip-Off you did. 
That and that Elves Movie with no Elves in it (or Dan Haggerty).

This Film is just full of things that almost sound deep, are almost interesting and don't really subvert things.  Did I really expect the Cop who appeared in literally one other Scene to save the day?

Of course not.

Hell, this Film didn't even appear to shoot its Cemetery Scene in an actual Cemetery.  They showed B-Roll of one and then pointed a camera up from the ground at the Actors standing around a wreath of flowers.

A Film that could have tried to do literally anything different or clever.  Ironically, the Film they were piggybacking on did just that (but nobody but me liked it for it).

'90s Trash?: The Jackal (1997)

 This is the Remake of a '70s Classic, but NOT the Streaming Remake with Eddie Redmayne.
Multiple Remakes make things confusing!

This is 1997's The Jackal, which is mostly a Remake of The Day of the Jackal.
Why the name change then?

In short, the people that owned the rights to the Original didn't want a Remake (and the original Star turned down a Cameo).  Changes were made to the Story and it was retitled simply 'The Jackal.'

Everyone was happy- relatively so.

The Plot involves a contract killer who has a big target in America.  The Government brings in the only man who can ID him (that's currently alive).

Can they stop him from taking out his target?
Who will survive?

To Find out, read on...

After a nauseatingly-90s Credits Sequence, we see an FBI Agent (Sydney Poitier) in Russia.

Him and some Agents try to bring in some Russian Mobsters.

In the chaos, one of them is killed by the Lady Commander.

The man's brother- also a Mobster- is quite upset and hires The Jackal (Bruce Willis) for revenge.

Charles De Gaulle was the original target, but he died 27 years before this one came out.

Instead, he's paid 70 million dollars to kill the Head of the FBI!

As the Film shows us Willis getting his fake ID and money transfers, the hit is revealed under intense 'questioning' by Russian officials.

Knowing about it, they seek out a woman who saw Willis, but need a SECOND person to find her.

It's Richard Gere playing a Former IRA Member.

My reaction when I learned that he'd be doing an accent this whole Film.

The Jackal continues to change outfits in basically every Scene as he works out his plan of attack.

As part of his plan, he orders a giant gun and needs someone to make a mount for it.
That's your cue, Jack Black!

After some filler involving smugglers (what does it add?), he gets it working.

Since Black essentially extorted him for more money, he tests out the gun on him!

Plot twists abound as The Jackal does find out about the FBI's plans and Gere being out.

He finds out about the woman who can ID him (who was pregnant with Gere's baby when he shot her) and goes to her house.

The Agents at the house- including the Lady Commander- meet a bad end.

RIP JK.  No LOL.

Willis makes it to America via boat with his giant gun and gear.

He eludes capture at the Marina, seemingly leaving the gun (hidden in the ship's mast) behind.

He still has it, however, and sets himself up to kill...The First Lady.
That was his target the whole time!

Gere- with help- stops the attack and Willis flees.

After taking a hostage, he nearly kills Gere before the woman shoots him.
Gere- being the Lead- gets the final shot(s plural) in though.

In the aftermath, he's allowed to escape by Poitier, since his pardon was rejected.

A Film that had potential, but can't quite decide what it wants to be.

The Film can't decide whether the focus should be following Willis or Gere.  As such, the focus is constantly pulled one way or another.

They really want you to get invested in the minutia of Willis' work, from showing you him buying a car to painting it to repainting it.
If that's the case, make it about him.

If this was made today, a Film just following the bad guy with minimal amounts of people working the case could absolutely work.

They tried to make Gere compelling, but it only sort of works.  He's still Richard Gere, but his motivation doesn't come about very naturally.

The action is oddly minimal here, as this one also can't decide whether it is a subtle '70s Thriller or a violent '90s Action Film.  Nobody quite wins out.

It's not a bad Film, but the conflict in production and story keeps it from being great.  I'm nicer than the Newspapers were.

Young folks in 2026 do know what Newspapers were, right?  You're not Lost?

Next up, I dive back into my (still growing) digital collection.  What fun can I scrounge up before October begins?  Stay tuned..

Cover Art Special: 'For Yours Eye Only's' Poster Controversy

Poster.
Controversial Poster.

For Yours Eye Only had a very famous Poster.  
Even today, it is notable among Bond fans.

They had the Model wear the bikini backwards, since they wanted some 'tush' in the shot.

The phrase 'it was acceptable in the '80s' gets thrown around these days.

That's not always true.

This Poster was controversial at the time and we got various Edits of the Poster like this...

Or this one that feels like an accidental inspiration for the Born in the USA Box Art.

I'm not sure why the coloring is all wrong on the bottom, other than it being a shoddy Edit.

My favorite is this one that appears to be from a Newspaper.

The fact that this exists after 40+ years online is amazing.

Is this V.I. Warshawski?

Lastly, let's look at a more recent example of the Poster's notoriety.

This DVD- not mine, sadly- has the Cover Lady standing in front of Bond's Car (which blows up after one Scene) and Bond just kind of staring at you.

Are you looking at my girl?!?

The Producers didn't try anything as scandalous with the next Poster.

After all, it was called Octopussy- that was enough!

Shudder Day: Buffet Infinity (2026)

 Was this the best Film to watch in full right before I went to bed last night?
Well, I did.

To find out what the hell this is, read on...

A small Town is dealing with a series of competing businesses, including a Sandwich Shop and the titular Buffet.

Oh and there's a mysterious sinkhole that might be connected to the constant, low humming sound that is scaring off birds.

Probably should have led with that.

The whole Film is just showing you the Commercials and the competition between the two main Shops is getting hot and heavy.

Meanwhile, there's a whole Plot involving a Cult, some Lawyer and a Pawn Shop.
Also a Used Cars Salesman.

Have I mentioned that there's alot going on here without a normal structure yet?

The Buffet and the force behind it are seemingly getting more direct.

The Businesses connected to it in the Strip Mall end up closing for various, bad reasons and they keep expanding.

We also keep hearing about how nobody sees the Staff of this place.

As things seem to get bleaker in Town, the Story somehow gets weirder.

Yes, this was the normal(ish) part.

Now there's an exploding head, mysterious fires, floating people and more.

It's...well, you just have to see it for yourself.

A very strange Film that is absolutely going to be polarizing.  
There's not much of a way to be 'eh, that was alright' with a Film like this.

They only sort of break the format as the Film (and the events) get stranger.  
You have to accept that you're only getting any Plot from the Commercials.

I think it works- for an hour.  There's a little flexibility there.

The events are vague, but also clear enough if you keep up.  Given the scale they're going for, a standard format would be hard to manage.

As the Film got to Act 3 and wrap up, it finally explained key parts of the Plot (somewhat) and it sort of worked.  Some of it was still just weird for weirdness sake.

As an experimental Horror Film, this works.
Again- you will either love it or hate it.

I lean more towards the latter (I'm just also a pedantic critic).  Eat up if you so choose.

An absolutely bizarre Film that pretty much commits to a bizarre structure.  How you feel about that remains to be seen.