A Virtual Vacation...to Pirates World!!!

After watching a less-than-stellar Movie designed to sell me on Pirates World (40 + years after it is too late), I thought I'd look into this...

People's Vacation Videos of Pirates World.

Thank you, YouTube for giving me someone else's personal memories from 1967...

There's no sound, so just play 'In A Gadda Da Vida' over like the Film did!

Believe it or not, there is actually more than one of these on there.

This one is shorter, but the Video Quality has been up-scaled and it has some Audio.

Enjoy it and thank the guy for posting it.

I know that you can't go to Disney Land or its family of Parks right now, but enjoy this...the 12th best alternative right now.

Remember- we'll get through this.

*Holiday* Because I Watched It: The U.S. Government Wants YOU to Grow Hemp!

On this mostly-Internet-based Holiday, it is important to remember the past.

You know, that thing you did yesterday.

In this case, a bit of historical documentation on how things can change...

You heard them Farmers- grow them buds!

Just remember- this Film doesn't officially exist.  It is on YouTube, but nobody made it.  Right...

Because I Watched It: The Talking Car (1953)

Before PSAs took sleeping kids to Car Heaven, they taught us that we are always being watched...by parked Cars.

Seriously, that's how they thought that Kids would learn about Street Crossing Safety...

Look both ways before you cross the Street.

Rest assured- this guy sure will be.

I bet you'll look at waxing your Car differently from now on.  You're welcome.

Because I Watched It: The Talking Car (1969)

As a big fan of MST3K and Rifftrax (Rifftrax Live! Godzilla coming in August!), I love these crazy, old Shorts.  So, I took it as a badge of honor that I found one that they haven't done yet!

That brings us to 1969's The Talking Car.  It is...something to see.

If you make it past the goofy set-up, the pay-off is...oh my good, it's amazing!

Even though you know that a Car will talk, you are still NOT ready for this thing.  Enjoy.

The crazy part: this is not the first Version of this idea!  Oh yeah!

Because I Watched It!: Upcoming Asylum Films (God Help Us!)

I dared go to The Asylum's homepage yesterday and discovered a whole bunch of new shit to talk about with them.

To begin, here's a film that rips off/is inspired by the Robocop Remake AND Fox's Being Human.  Wow.

Poor Black Dynamite- you deserve better than this.

Up next, a film that must be inspired by Hercules (either version really).  It reminds me more of Demonicus, but whatever.

Nice and generic.  Joy.

Lastly, the film that had to come.  This film must have just narrowly-avoided being a Sharknado sequel (which is happening, naturally)...

Will this be nothing but in-jokes and silliness?  Probably.  Oh and 'Teal'c' is in it.  Happy, Bob?

That said, I'm still going to see it.  Will I pay for it?  Nah.

Hey Asylum Screener Guy/Girl, hook me up!

Because I Watched It: "Man's Greatest Achievement"

I defer to Rifftrax when it comes to this film.  They brought this bizarre piece of Cinematic Trash History to life as a VOD.  God bless em!

Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny is...well, it is a Genre in and of itself.  There is no other film like it.

Yes, this film is better with Rifftrax.  Pretty much everything is, really.

That said, you owe it to yourself to see this film in some form.  If you don't buy their version (which you should), you can settle for the Uncut, Un-Riffed Version.

This.  Movie.  Is.  Nuts.

Because I Watched It!: An Important Halloween Special from 1976

I don't do parties.  If I wanted to hang out with people, I'd get married.

However, as a favor to those of you who are 'party people,' here's something to entertain those Naughty Nurses, Naughty Cops and Naughty Nautical Nuns.  It's a piece of pop culture history courtesy of YouTube...

The Paul Lynde Halloween Special - TX Date - 29 Oct 1976

Netflix doesn't carry the DVD, so this is the ONLY way to watch the 1976 Paul Lynde Halloween Special.  You're welcome.

Why should you watch?

* Amusingly-dated look.
* Margaret Hamilton returning as The Wicked Witch
* Billy Barty pulling a Truck

Oh yeah, it also features the first TV performance of a little band called KISS.  Enjoy.

Because I Watched It!: Random Freakazoid

I love Freakazoid.

Is anyone surprised?  This crazy Cartoon was the follow-up to Tiny Toon Adventures and Animaniacs, but, sadly, wasn't as popular as Pinky & The Brain.  Good show too- just not as weird and random.  It only got two Seasons- bummer.  Regardless, it was great.  Here's the theme song (just not in English)...

The show was full of weird and crazy moments.  In the next clip, the story just completely stops to settle a debate between characters (two of which aren't on the show)...

Next up, a two-part bit where the late Jack Valenti tries to explain the Film Ratings System.

Yes, this show is so good that it makes me laugh about a subject I have serious issues with (PG-13 for The Lone Ranger?) and with a guy that I really hated.  Awesome.

Lastly, a brief morality tale from Freakazoid.  For some reason, I really want Cookies...

That's just a taste of things to come.  For a more in-depth look at the show, keep an eye out for the imminent return of Forgotten Toons.

Oh and there's going to be a Part 3.  Count on it!

Because I Watched It: Classic Cartoon Intros...Changed

I keep watching them...and so do you.

Today's subject was inspired by my recent rental of TMNT: Season 8 aka The Dark Sky Season.  They re-did the show's iconic intro...

It's alright, but what was up with the insert shots from the film?  They were just there seemingly at random.  Weird!

Next up, a combo-platter of remixes as both the Batman and Superman Animated Series' have their Intros remixed and squished together.  You be the judge.

Given the task of revamping and reworking two iconic themes, they did a good job.  I'd rather they didn't, but whatever.

A less classic opening is that of Street Sharks.  Let's see if the Remixed Version from Season 2 helps.

Since my *first* pick for the final one is providing me with some issues still, let's go with something interesting still- Gargoyles.  After two good, but weird seasons, they revamped it here...

This is nothing special, really.  The biggest pro and con of this Intro is the use of CG Effects.  In 1996, I'm sure that it was amazing.  Now...meh.

Did I miss a revamped/remixed Intro that you love/hate?  If so, leave a comment and it just may end up in a future entry.

Because I Watched It: Mommy

The best gifts are those that you re-gift.  That's what cheap bastards say at least.

Because I didn't feel like watching Invisible Mom- can you blame me?-, here's a cheaper thing to do.  If they upload it, we will watch...

To see my review of this film- and its sequel-, go the links back there.

In all honesty, the film isn't terrible.  It's melodramatic as all hell, so there's some good comedy there.

Enjoy this day with your Mother.  Well, unless she's a Serial Mom.  That bitch is crazy.

Holiday Because I Watched It: Treevenge

While it may be a Christmas film, this Short also seems appropriate for Arbor Day.  Besides, I live in Florida.  It hasn't snowed here in over forty-years, so Christmas films always look out of place to me.

Here it be...

Watch this and remember that the Trees are watching.  The Trees are waiting...

Happy Arbor Day- Try not to cut down any excess Trees, at least for 24 hours.

Because I Watched It: Obscure Cartoon Show Spin-Offs

Just when I think I'm done, I keep finding crazy shit to cover.

It wasn't enough that there was a silly live-action show, there was The Partridge Family: 2200 A.D.  Why?  Who knows?
                                         
Yes, this is clearly The Jetsons.  It's good to know that you have eyes.

On a similar note, here is another spin-off of a popular show, which just happens to be its main rival.  Here's The Brady Kids!

I absolutely lost it when they introduced their pet Pandas.  Am I alone?

Up next, a cartoon version of Gilligan's Island.  As anyone who's actually seen the show would ask 'Is that really a big jump?'

That's silly enough, but what happens when they escape?  The answer...

They go to space.  No, really.

Seriously, Gilligan's Planet was a thing.  Words fail me, gentlemen.

Have you got a show intro/video that you want me to cover?  If so, drop me a comment and I'll see what happens.

Because I Watched It: (Four of) The Top 5 *Worst* Movies Ever on Mondo Bizarro

Talk is cheap.  Seriously, this site hosting is free.

All kidding aside, it occurred to me that maybe just telling you why these films are so bad is not enough.  To that end, here are glimpses into the films- the ones YouTube allows.

First up, the hilariously-goofy ending to Jaws in Japan.  It doesn't make up for the 60 minutes of shit, but does show you where my Banner came from.

I spared you the movie.  You're welcome.

Up next, the trailer to Hobgoblins 2.  This doesn't quite do it shitty 'justice,' but it's a start.

I'm still not sure what to call this dreck other than, well, utter shit.

Here's something 'fun'- a glimpse of Roller Gator.  I regret few things in my life, but this is one of them.

That's just roughly 90 seconds of the film.  To anyone who may still want to see this, I quote the words of a friend of mine- "You are not ready for this movie."

Wrapping things up, here's the trailer to Cthulhu.  While not the worst film ever, it is just utterly disappointing.

I hope you enjoyed ALL of the movie's monster effects there.  Seriously, you saw them all!

As a side note, it was mentioned to me that many other shit films got bumped for my Top 5 Worst films.  I'll amend that shortly.

Because I Watched It: Old School Cartoons of my Youth

What's old is new again...and old yet again.  That make sense to anyone?

When I was growing up, I watched a shit-ton of cartoons.  When I was that age, a bunch of older shows were dug up to play as cheap reruns- not that I could tell at the time.  Let's start off with the weirdest family to not get a cartoon back-story...

Seriously, did I miss an Episode explaining any of this?  It seemed to just be- they're on a weird planet...so accept it.

Next up, the best Superhero to get an ironic Adult Swim show later.  Sorry, Space Ghost, but it's...

You can't help but sing along at the end.  Admit it!

Up next, the best/worst Superfriends show.  No Wendy, Marvin, Jan or Jayna- thank Jeebus!

Two things to note: the token extra characters and Black Vulcan aka a pretense to not pay the licensing fee for Black Lightning.  Thanks, Capitalism!

Finally, a goofy-ass show that I loved.  It's hard to defend, so...shut up.

This show is just made of win.  It's true 1980's cheese and I love it.  Yes, even you, pointless baboon.

Because I Watched It: '80s Cartoon Intros (For Girls)

I'm a people-pleaser, so let me give back to the fairer sex a bit here.

First up, the female analog to one of the heroes of my youth: He-Man.  Best Christmas Special EVER.

Say what you will, but...well, I never watched this show.  If you like it, awesome.

Up next, a show that continues to air in syndication, albeit on obscure cable channels.  Sing us in, ladies...

For randomly stopping its own stories to sing, it proves to be the early prototype for Glee.  Yea?

Up next, well, leave any stitch of your manhood behind.  It's Pony time!

I will say NOTHING about this show, lest a certain part of the Internet attack me.  I'm scared.

Finally, let's make sure that nobody in my demographic is still reading this.  It's Rainbow Brite!

You lost me at...well, the beginning.

For you ladies out there, let me know if your favorite didn't make the cut.  For you guys out there, I'll have to up the ante for you next time.

Because I Watched It: Super Old-School Oz

With Oz: The Great and Powerful (short review- pretty, but so-so overall) out, I thought it might be important to remind people that Oz films go back to before the classic 1939 film.

Yes, it's pretty and great.  This one came out much earlier though...

Considering when it was made, the Effects and Production Values are quite nice.

As a bonus, here's the last film Produced by L. Frank Baum himself...

It's important to remember that Baum worked on most of the adaptations while he was alive, even forming a Production Company to do so.

So, while Oz: The Great and Powerful is the latest film in the series, it's important to remember where it all started...

Because I Watched It: Rifftrax's Kickstarter Experiment

For once, let me do something good with this segment.  Why not try something new?

Rifftrax has a big experiment that they want to do.  To find out, watch this...

If you aren't psyched for this, let me fix that.  First, their official sample for the Commentary Only version of Twilight...

Need more?  Here's their official 'Best of Five Years' video as well.

Finally, here's the most awesome, yet creepy, song ever- it's also from Twilight.

So if you haven't already helped them out, do it here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/rifftrax/rifftrax-wants-to-riff-twilight-live-in-theaters-n

Do it already.  They're giving out sweet prizes and you'll help a cinematic nightmare get the punishment that it deserves.  The Saga is over- now it's time to mock the crap out of it!

Because I Watched It: More Obscure '80s Cartoon Intros

I can't attest to remembering a single one of these shows.  I must have been born too early or just watched the wrong channels.  Regardless...

Drack Pack is like The Monster Squad if it were homogenized, the characters became good guys and were in a crappy-looking cartoon.

If you love video games, then you'll probably have a mixed opinion of the next three selections.  First up, Frogger was a show...apparently.  That's news to me.

The next show segues nicely, since it was part of a two-show block with the other one.  Before Mario got his own show- with a kicking Rap theme song-, he was the villain in Donkey Kong.  Who knew?

Lastly, a 'video game' most famous for its great animation- courtesy of Don Bluth- gets a generic, animated show with...less than stellar animation.  Oh the irony.  Here's Dragon's Lair...

It's ridiculous how big the market for these adaptations was.  For example- Pole Position had a show!

Imagine if the market for Animated Series' based on Video Games were the same now as they were today.  Would we get Witcher: A Children's Tale?  Gears of War: The Early Years?  Mass Effect: Droid?

Because I Watched It: Obscure 80s Cartoon Intros (For a Change)

I decided to take a trip back to the 1980s and cover some of their Cartoon Intros.  Instead of going for the obvious ones like He-Man or G.I. Joe, I decided to go more obscure (shocking- I know).

For example, had you managed to forget about the Ewoks cartoon?  Well, tough luck...

Speaking of Star Wars cartoons, why not cover the other one from the 1980s?  Naturally, the series was so popular that even the Droids got their own show!

Oh and for all our (justified) griping about the Prequels, this is how it all began.  This is the Prequel...Show.

Speaking of exploiting a franchise, here's a show that did it to the Pink Panther one.  Years before the hideous Son of Pink Panther film, here's Pink Panther and Sons.  No, really.

In a flip, here's a show that's kind of exploitation, but a justified one.  The short version...

In the 1970s, Filmation produced a live-action show called The Ghost Busters.
In the 1980s, Ghostbusters was a hit film.
Using their license, Filmation made an animated show based on their old license.  Just a coincidence- honest.

To be fair, I do kind of like this intro.  It encapsulates the '80s vibe quite well and is eerily catchy.

Was I not obscure enough?  Do you have something to top me?  If so, you know the drill.

Because I Watched It: Foreign Versions of Classic Cartoon Intros

After so many features on Cartoon Intros, it's nice to find a different way to look at them.  More specifically, a Foreign way to look at them.

Example #1: the Silverhawks intro- which I love-, only in Spanish.  Why not?

Example #2: the Pinky and the Brain theme...only in Japanese.  There is a German one on YouTube as well, but I wanted some ethnic diversity.

Example #3: the Super Mario Bros Super Show intro in German.  Yes, there is German rapping.

This one's for you, Maynard!

Example #4: I love the Tiny Toon Adventures, but wish that it was 'more rocking' and in French.  Done!

Is there a Foreign dub version of your favorite Cartoon Intro that I missed?  If so, leave a suggestion in the Comments and I'll give it a look.