*Gained* in Translation: Yoga Hosers

This is a tough one for me.

I grew up loving Kevin Smith and his Films as a teenager.  This one...just hurt.

I love ya, Kev, but you made a stinker.  I'm glad your kid was in it, but...it's a 'no' from me.

Now just imagine what it was like for the folks in Japan when they got this Poster...

Damn!  That obvious riff on The Force Awakens' Poster is honestly funnier than, well, Yoga Hosers.

Thanks to Kevin Smith for sharing this a while back.  He's a good sport.

Here's the original...

Pretty great without me, but I like to think that I helped.

New Flix: Yoga Hosers

I've liked Kevin Smith Films since I was very young, but he doesn't always make it easy.  Case in point...

In Canada, two Teens (Kevin Smith's Daughter and Johnny Depp's Daughter, right to left) are wannabe Singers and Convenience Store Workers.

Meanwhile, random people are being killed by...something.

Even though they are minor Celebrities (due to Tusk), they still live with their Parents.  In this case, quite literally...

One night, they are stuck at work when the strange menace from earlier rears its...odd head.

Was this really worth shaving your beard off, Kevin?  Was it really?

It all has to do with Canadian Nazis...led by the kid from A.I.  In present day, they are Sausage Men.

Can our Heroes (teamed up with Depp, for no good reason) win the day?  Can they do it without their phones?  To find out, watch the Film.

I wanted to like it.  Kevin Smith has always had an odd and quirky sense of Humor.  Not to make him feel old, but I grew up watching his stuff.  Seeing Clerks as a Teenager is still a strong memory, as is sticking with his later works like Mallrats and Dogma.  Despite all of the outside stuff that affected, Jersey Girl is still a pretty good Film, as is Zack and Miri Make a Porno.  I like stuff like Clerks 2 and Red State too, even if I'm kind of torn on Tusk and his part in Holidays.  The problem with Yoga Hosers as it feels like an odd vanity project and isn't quite good enough to overcome that.  The whole thing is a family affair- since it features him, his wife, his Daughter, Depp, Depp's ex-Wife, Depp's Daughter and Jason Mewes- and that sure is nice.  Like with Tusk, this is a mix of Horror and really-dumb Comedy.  There are good moments of both.  In the Film's defense, it is less jarring in how it handles the Horror elements.  The problem- it is all just so damn silly.  Relentlessly-silly at that!  I didn't hate it, but I definitely didn't laugh all that much.  You can do better than this.  So who did she spawn to get a Speaking Role in this Film?

Not the death of Comedy as many people have called it...but not particularly-good either.  I know that you can do better, Kevin.

Quick Reviews: Red State (2011)

Far be it from me to talk about Politics here, but it is kind of hard not to say anything when you're talking about...

In a small Town, three Teens are lured to a stranger's RV for some random sex.  What could go wrong?

Right-Wing Christians!

Oh and they're also crazy, hate-mongering psychos that will kill you for being Gay...or whatever they don't like.

These crazies kidnap the Teens and some random guy to kill them.  They don't seem neighborly.

Can our Teens make it out alive and preferably with some of those hilariously-silly Jack Chick Pamphlets?

Can this group of crazies survive the inevitable siege by the ATF?  Will they ever meet a Black guy?

No matter what happens, it won't be pretty.  Since this is a Kevin Smith, it sure will be weird though.

To find out, watch the Film.  The End.

Deeper and more dramatic than you might think.  Kevin Smith is not known for his dark, serious Dramas.  Yes, he has dealt with some Drama in Films like Jersey Girl and Clerks 2.  In this case, he does so much more emphatically.  Red State is definitely not your usual Kevin Smith Film.  He has crazy Characters and bizarre situations, but it is always grounded in the dark reality of Religious Extremism.  Is it controversial to say that a bunch of people on a Compound that set-up, kidnap and kill Teenagers are a bunch of psychos?  I didn't think so.  To be fair, State actually gives both sides of the issues a chance to say their peace.  The crazy Preacher is still crazy, but parts of what he says are what people still say today.  The ATF Agent driven to kill them because of his orders is kind of bad here, but you can also see his point of view.  You also get some Viewpoint Characters for other facets of the Story- neat.   The Film doesn't completely-villainize either side, which is nice.  One side is a bunch of murderers, while the other is...the Cult?  Seeing how much more interesting this one was than I expected makes me sad to hear how bad Yoga Hosers apparently is.  I'll leave you with a glimpse of how your average Texan sees themselves on any given day...

Considering his strange, recent work, it is neat to see something like this from Kevin Smith.  It sure won't be for everyone, especially if you are easily-offended.

New Flix: Holidays (2016)

With so many major Horror Anthologies still not covered, I might as well...do this new one instead...

With 8 Segments, I can't waste too much time.  Here's the Cliff Notes, non-SPOILER Summaries...

For Valentine's Day, a picked-on girl falls for her Swim Coach and has some bad intentions.

For St. Patrick's Day, a mysterious girl does something to her Teacher.  Will it bring her joy?

For Easter, a young girl finds out that something is up with the Easter Bunny...

For Mother's Day, a woman with a pregnancy-related issue goes to a retreat that gets weird...

For Father's Day, a mysterious tape from the past leads a woman to her Dad...

For Halloween, Kevin Smith brings us a typically-twisted tale of revenge and costumes...

For Christmas, Robot Chicken guy gets some VR Glasses that show may more than they should...

Finally, for New Year's Day, a twisted man tries to find 'love' and it goes awry.

To find out what happens in all of these tales, watch the Film.  It's Streaming on Netflix, so easy.

All sorts of strange, freaky and interesting.  Holidays lives or dies by your opinion of the individual Shorts.  There's no Framing Device or anything here- just Stories set on Holidays.  Given how different every part was, I suppose this is to be expected.  For me, the real winners are Easter, Christmas and New Year's Day.  There are really no bad ones- just ones that are less good.  Mother's Day and Father's Day, for example, are good, but kind of vague overall.  I can appreciate mystery, but I know that the ultimate pay-off will never come.  If you're more into that kind of thing, ignore what I just said.  Likewise, Halloween is just all sorts of implied gross stuff.  It doesn't make it bad- just less liked by me than stuff like St. Patrick's Day.  All in all, Holidays is a fun and interesting Horror Anthology Film.  As a bonus, it has all sorts of fun interstitials that I'll have to find more reasons to use later...

A good mix of weird, graphic and bizarre Horror.  Like any Anthology Film, you'll probably like some more than others.

Recent Flix: Tusk (2014)

At long last, I cover a new Kevin Smith Film.  I've missed his last few- everything since Clerks 2-, so I was overdue.  I will get around to Red State later.  In the meantime, here is his latest work.  Inspired by a Podcast (much like Citizen Kane), the Film is Tusk.  The Plot is simple: creepy guy wants to make people into a Walrus.  I know, I know- so cliche!  This is certainly a weird Story.  The Film got alot of mixed Reviews and I know one Austrian that didn't like it.  Of course, I like Kevin Smith- and own most of his Films-, so I may be less impartial than others.  The question is this: did Smith make a funny Horror Film or a scary Comedy?  The answer is not 100% clear, to be honest.  Just like Bobcat Goldthwait, Smith seems like he was forced to make a Horror Film- see Willow Creek- to stay in the market.  His Film was kind of in the same boat as far as quality and tone too, come to think of it.  Is this a funny success or a scary failure?  To find out (with minimal SPOILERS), read on...

This is our Hero.  He does a funny Podcast.

His trip to interview a Viral Video Star takes a dark detour, so now he needs a new Story.

As luck would have it, he finds a solicitation for a guy promising strange Stories in exchange for room/board.

After some back-and-forth (and a Story about Hemingway), the man's motives become more clear.

Our hero is now trapped with the man and he learns that the once-nice man wants to experiment...

He calls for help, but his girlfriend and co-Host are not available.  He doesn't try to text though, which I can guess you can excuse due to his level of fright.

The man plans to experiment with our Hero in a twisted way.  As hard as it is, I will not reveal any of the real juicy visuals.  I'm a dick like that.

Our hero's friends arrive in Canada and don't get alot of help.  The rescue all hinges upon a quirky Detective, since I guess the Star of Due South was away.

Anybody?  Due South?  It was a good Show, you know!

I won't SPOIL any more of the 3rd Act out of respect for the Film.  That or I'm just a tease.

I will just say that things get weird and bloody.  The End.

I can see what people have been saying about this one.  The tone is a bit tricky to get a handle on.  I think that problem may have struck Mr. Smith as well.  I will say this: he did Write, Direct and Edit this one.  I won't question his ability to make a Film in general, mind you- as he has been doing it for 20 years now- but I will say that more than one creative voice is good to have.  As a barely-seen Writer, I get the appeal of doing it all yourself.  You have a vision and you don't want anyone screwing it up.  That said, professional Editors are in high demand for good reason.  What the Film does well is give you freaky moments, followed by quirky moments and then back again.  The balance is something that you will either love or hate.  It is the curse of doing a Horror-Comedy.  I think he gets it mostly right here.  I wasn't as fond of the Inspector bits as Smith clearly was, but they aren't the bulk of the Film.  For all the crap the Film got about being out of touch as far as Canadians go, I think that everyone gets a bit of an absurdist spin.  If they were the only ones, I'd get it.  The make-up work and design is the real draw here.  Let me assure you: it is freaky.  For me, it was disturbing and certain worth seeing the Film for.  If you are a squeamish, this may not be for you at times.  If you like your Horror to be straight as an arrow, this definitely is not for you.  It is a weird, bizarre Film that sort of touches upon both sides of the spectrum.  Fun Fact: both of these young ladies are related to people in the Film...

Next up, I cover a 2011 Film as a way to cash in on the DVD release of a 2014 Film.  Can one Film about a Toy be better than another?  Stay tuned...