New Streaming: Loki (Episode 3)

 Another Wednesday is here, so let's look back at last week.  What happened to our lovable Trickster God?

After the last Episode, he's escaped with the 'evil' Variant Loki.

He ruins her plans to straight up kill the Boss and they end up stranded together.

They end up stranded during an Apocalypse (as opposed to stranded with Apocalypse) on an Alien Planet.

Can they work together?

Eh, maybe not.

They might just learn alot about each other in the process, however.

Of course, it may be too late to escape now...

To find out, stream the Episode.

A bit of a slowdown, but is that so wrong?  In the first Episode, we had to get introduced a new Setting, new Characters and catch our Loki up to speed on the MCU Timeline.  In the second Episode, they had to introduce new concepts, expand on the Mobius/Loki dynamic and finally introduce the Variant.  So, after all that, is a slowdown so wrong?  Our Two Lokis (too late to TM that one, I'm sure) spend the Episode fighting, trying to work together and getting to know each other.  I don't see a big Picnic in the near future, but they are *mostly* past trying to kill each other.  This one feels like a Doctor Who Episode.  If you take that as a compliment or insult, that's up to you.  I liked it.  As I said, not much happens as far as the overall narrative is concerned.  There's one reveal, but, you know, no SPOILERS.  I'm still really curious to see where this all goes.  Hey, so are they!

Next time, let's see where the journey is going.  Will Loki...er, the Lokis make it out?  See you then...

'90s Trash?: The Rift (1990)

 I might as well not put this one off!  As part of my look at the Underwater Horror Films from 1989-1990, we have The Rift.  It comes to us from the pair of Dino De Laurentiis, who Produced it, and Juan Piquer Simon, who Directed it.  It made it fun for the Writer, it seems.  He wrote a Script and then someone had to translate it into Italian for Dino.  When he approved it, they then needed a SECOND translation of the Script into Spanish, so that the Director could read it.  They should have just hired the guy who made Incubus (Leslie Stevens) and translated it into Esperanto for him!  The Plot involves a missing Submarine, a ragtag Crew and some strange monsters.  It is the Horror Adaptation of Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea that I've been waiting for!  The Cast is notable for including Ray Wise (who gets top-billing) and R. Lee Ermey, as well as other people less worthy of mention.  Supposedly, the impetus of this Film was Dino wanting to make a lower-budget version of his own Film- Leviathan.  You can see it, although they thankfully tweaked a bunch of it to not make it just a cheaper version of that Film.  For all of the attention that DeepStar Six gets from people (myself included) for being similar to Leviathan, it's kind of ironic to see the origin of this Film.  Can they solve the mystery hidden in The Rift?  To find out, read on...

A proper late-80s/early-90s hero- longish hair, stubble, smart and a bit grizzled- is told that his creation- a Submarine has gone missing.

He agrees to help find it after they both threaten to blame him for it failing...and tell him that a colleague is missing with the Sub.

He joins the Crew of the NEW Submarine- since making two Submarine Models is more expensive than making one- and gets lots of pushback.

An ex of his (naturally!) is part of the Crew and a stern Navy Commander (Ermey) is in charge.

It's not range to see Ermey as a Soldier, but he did go from The Marines to The Navy!

They follow a black box signal and create some false tension by deciding to drive *between* two chunks of Iceberg.  It's a big Ocean- go around!

As they get nearer, they get attacked by a strange creature.

My Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea reference bears more fruit, as this kind of thing happened every other week in Seasons 3 and 4.

They end up very deep, nearly at 45,000 feet below Sea Level.

That's impressive, given that the deepest the Ocean Floor goes is 36,000 feet!

They find a hidden area and go inside, since that works out well in every Film.

Meanwhile, someone is scheming and manipulating things on the ship.

Is it Ray Wise?
Yes, yes it is.

They get attacked by barely-seen Monsters and the Crew is whittled down quite a bit.

To further amp up the tension by having our Hero's Ex get separated.

She's a Military Officer with a career...but in a Screenplay, she's just there to give him a goal to achieve.

On the Ship, samples from the Lab start to mutate.

The plan here is something something Mutation something something Biology something something Genetics.

The whole thing ends with them *further* in the Lab and they must battle a Contamination-style giant monster.  That one's hydraulics actually worked though!

They blow up the Monster (of course!) and kill Wise for betraying them, vowing to reveal the truth.

They have two floppy disks, so that evil Corporation is going down!  The End.

Well, it sure ain't The Abyss.  After 2 of these in a row, what else do I have to say?  Well, the Sub Effects look decent.  The part where it is attacked by the strange creature is less, well, realistic-looking than in probably should be.  The actual on-screen Monsters look fine.  Like the other Films, you only get fleeting glimpses or odd angles most of the time.  This one has a decent, if unoriginal hook to it.  We don't really get to know too much about *why* they are mutating people, plants and things though.  Something something profit, I guess.  It's also odd to see the first 2 guys not *actually* get any comeuppance directly.  Yes, they imply that it will happen, but where's the schadenfreude in that?!?  The idea here is simple, as well.  We just need to get people in a Cave/Ocean full of Monsters- who cares why?!?  Evil Corporations are evil, so there we go.  If you can accept that this is a fun, but fairly-simple Film, you can have a good time.  It's not nearly as deep as the titular Rift in the Film is, but it can be fun.  Given that I read that this was the one with 'killer moss,' it proved to be more interesting than that.  Leave it to a Reviewer of the time to be a bit more negative (and give me a good closing to this look at the Underwater Horror Films of 1989/1990)…

Next time, I jump ahead to 2002.  We're sticking with the Ocean though, so don't put away those flippers just yet.  Stay tuned...

'80s Class?: Leviathan (1989)

 As I spend zero time in the Ocean, I might as well watch more Movies about it.  This is Leviathan, a 1989 Film about just that.  Yep, its the second one of these.  One of the 1989 Underwater Horror Films made lots of money and won acclaim for its effects.  Another was featured on the last (so far) Season of MST3K.  Will this one be somewhere in the middle?  This one is from the Director of Of Unknown Origin (as opposed to Corman's Unknown Origin, which is another Underwater Horror Film).  If Weller thought it was bad fighting with one normal rat, imagine how he's going to react to what is down here!  Peter and his motley crew are down at the bottom of the Ocean mining silver and other materials.  One of them makes the mistake of looting from a Russian wreck known as Leviathan.  This leads to all sorts of The Thing-like terror on board.  Who will live?  Notable Cast includes Richard Crenna (also in George's First Blood- Part II), Ernie Hudson, Daniel Stern, Hector Elizondo and The Flash's Amanda Pays.  To find out how it all plays out, read on...

A group of Miners are down on the Ocean Floor.  The Corporation in charge puts a Geologist (Weller) in charge.

I mean, I guess that makes sense.

They have this big, bulky suits designed for the task.

After watching Aliens, you think you know why they have them in the Film.
Eh, not so much.

One of the Crew- Stern- wanders off and loots the titular Ship, a Russian wreck nearby.

He starts to experience weird symptoms the day after, leading to some mystery for Crenna and Weller (keeping it a secret) to solve.

He dies, which is also kept a secret, and another Crew member finds out first.

She's experiencing similar symptoms to what he described in public, so she freaks out and kills herself to avoid his fate.

Kind of curious logic, if you really diagram it.

A creature emerges from his body before they toss the fused body of him and the previously-mentioned woman (also borrowed from The Thing).

It begins to take out more people, growing and changing.
Is it also learning from its victims?!?

The Boss- Meg Foster('s scary eyes)- keeps stalling their rescue, telling them that there is a storm delaying their escape.

Meanwhile, they find notes about the Russian Experiment, which started with them dosing the Vodka from earlier (which Stern drank).

The creature mutates as it whittle down the crew, giving us some good, albeit brief Body Horror.

Stan Winston did this, so it all looks great.  It's just barely on-screen for more than a few seconds at a time.

The creature wrecks things as our Heroes try to escape.

Yikes.

Just like DeepStar Six, they 'escape' and it attacks them on the surface.  Did the Pitch Meeting Guy write both of these?

Poor Ernie Hudson doesn't survive, but Weller and Pays do.  The former also punches out Foster for good measure (as she lied about the storm).  The End.

A fun, but not so complex Film.  They try to add some layers here, to be fair.  Each character is given a little bit of an interesting trait.  Some of them- like Crenna acting mysterious- pay off more than others.  Does Elizondo using gum to fix the Generator amount to much?  Nope.  The Film, to its credit, does look nice.  The Director and Stan Winston both worked to get the big details just right.  Those suits look real enough to actually be used, for example.  I'm glad that the Monster isn't just 'oh, there's a Sea Monster' like most of the other Films from this time.  Basically, I'm glad that this Film is only like 80% like DeepStar Six- not 100%.  The Plot has the feel of intrigue and layers, even if there isn't one.  Does the Corporation have anything to do with the experimentation?  Nope.  The Film sure acts like it might, so that counts though.  The best and most disappointing part is the Monster.  It looks cool when you can see it- you just can't most of the time.  Let me see the cool thing, Movie!  There are bad-to-not-so-good Movies that at least let you see the Monster plenty.  For instance, Razorback doesn't have Stan Winston Effects, but I get to see the damn thing.  Rawhead Rex is...interesting, but also interesting to look at in a non-sarcastic way too.  This is one that maybe could be redone, which I know is a blasphemous thing to say for many people.  If it helps, it is set in 2027, so the timing is right for a nearer-future version.  In time, I'll see if it can hold up to other 1989 Water Monster Films like this one...

Next up, I'm stick with the Water Theme, but not doing the above Film.  Instead, let's jump to the early 2000s for some spooky times.  Stay tuned...

New Streaming: Loki- Episode 2

 After alot of information and craziness in the last Episode, where are we at?

To find out, read on...

A mysterious variant (a version that shouldn't exist due to a Timeline Change) of Variant is up to no good.

Can Loki work with the TVA?

He comes up with some pretty pertinent information, which smooths things between him and Mobius after the last mission.

It also sets up lots of memes, basically an excuse to make fun of whatever Superhero Film you think is bad.

They figure out where Variant Loki is and we get a bunch of random Easter Eggs showing different Lokis.

Surprisingly, this is not one of them.

Can they find Variant Loki?  Will they put up a fight?

I mean, it's Episode 2, so...come on.

To find out what actually happens, stream the Show.

A good follow-up.  With such a big amount of reveals and moments in the first one, it is hard to avoid a come-down.  Thankfully, they mostly-avoid it here.  Hiddleston, as always, delivers as Loki.  If you'd told me in 2011 that there'd be a Loki TV Show and I'd like it, I probably wouldn't have believed you.  He has good partners to bounce energy and quips off of.  Wilson continues to play this straight, although the reveal of his secret obsession does humanize him quite a bit.  Is a human though?  Whatever- you get the idea.  They continue to build up the mystery here, which is nice.  There are about 6,042 Theories as to what is behind everything.  Given the Law of Averages, how many people are going to be right and bragging about it for the next year?  Ignoring all of that outside stuff, I'm curious to see how they keep this going.  Loki is genuinely-trying to redeem himself, but will it work?  I'll end with a shout-out to both the people who slip in the Easter Eggs and the people who obsessively track them, since it cuts down on my work.

Can Loki stay on the straight and narrow?  Will they be able to maintain the Sacred Timeline?  See you then...

'80s Fun?: DeepStar Six (1989)

 Damn- did I miss DeepStars 1-5?!?  No, this is DeepStar Six, a 1989 Sci-Fi/Horror Film about a monster in the Ocean.  That was apparently a popular thing to do.  In a year's time, we got The Abyss, as well as lots of lesser Theatrical/Direct-to-Video Films.  Roger Corman is, shockingly, only responsible for one of them (Lords of the Deep).  He would make a second one...in 1995.  This was an international outing, as well, given that we got Films from Spanish Directors like Juan Piquer Simon, as well George P. Cosmatos (obviously not Spanish), Wayne Crawford (also the Star of Jake Speed!) and this one by the Director of Friday the 13th.  So what specifically happens here?  A Crew of random people out on the Ocean blows up one too many areas and ends up under siege by a creature.  Who will escape?  Our Crew features one of My Two Dads, Ferris Bueller's Mom, a guy from The Gods Must Be Crazy and Miguel Ferrer.  To see how it all plays out, read on...

A ragtag Crew works under the Ocean, but, let's be honest- this is Alien, right?

You can just picture a creature bursting out of Ferrer's chest on that table, no?

Speaking of Ferrer, he gets the 'lion's share' of the problems, as people pick on him, he's stressed out and, well, he hasn't even seen what is in store for him later!

The important ones- of course- are Greg Evigan and the Scientist Lady Love Interest.

We later learn that she's pregnant, so they're both going to survive this one. 

When they blow out a cave, an off-screen creature (since this Film has an $8 million Budget) attacks and kills the least important Character.

Our Heroine is also in trouble, but, well, you read the earlier description.

The creature eventually reveals itself, although it can only do so in waist-high pools of water.

It looks cool though, so...I'll live with it.

The Cast get whittled down some more in some key Action Set Pieces.

They even break out some new weapons to take out the creature.

It goes poorly.

Our Heroes make their way to the surface with a less-convincing fake skyline than in The Truman Show (which is supposed to look fake).

The 'One Last Hurrah' Cliche is here too.  Will they defeat it?

Yes. 
The End.

A fun, if shallow experience.  DeepStar Six is not exactly a deep, complex Film.  It is a pretty basic, unimpressive set-up for a Creature Feature.  The Writing is not all that special.  The real draw here is the Creature and Setting.  They didn't spend much time and money on anything but this stuff, so enjoy.  The beast is not exactly explained, nor does it communicate in anything other than generic roars.  Is it too much to expect a giant sea crustacean to deliver a monologue?  The Sets don't look cheap.  Admittedly, they are just big, industrial Rooms, so it's not like a real art form to make it look nice.  They do also try to work in some different things too, even if they don't work.  In a weird bit, Ferrer freaks out at the sight of seeing his dead Coworkers blame him for getting them killed.  Weird and sudden- thanks!  Other than that, it is pretty much a by-the-numbers affair.  DeepStar Six is not going to be your favorite Creature Feature, but, eh, you can do worse.  Will I do worse by watching another one of these Films next?

Next time, I cover that Film I just showed the Poster for.  Will it be classier and/or better?  Stay tuned...

Holiday Export: The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe (1972)

 In honor of Father's Day, I cover a Film that my Dad likes...kind of.  One of his favorite Films is the often-overlooked Comedy with Tom Hanks known as The Man with One Red Shoe.  It was not a hit in Theaters, but is very much a Cult Film.  Well, it is actually a Remake!  Don't you just love learning things about Movies that you likely barely-remember?  Of course, you do!  The Plot involves intrigue, spies and a poor Violinist.  When rivals in the 'Intelligence Agency' are feuding, a weird little man will get caught in the middle.  If you don't know how these kinds of French Films work, just think of the silliest thing that could happen at any time.  It is almost *always* then going to happen.  It is not called Absurdist Comedy because it makes sense.  This is all kinds of silly and features a Star that is arguably the biggest one from this Era, save for Gerard Depardieu.  Don't Google what he's up to these days, by the way- you won't like the results.  To find out how the French Version is, read on...

A man coming into France is caught with drugs.  He insists that he was on a mission for the Intelligence Service.

Was he?

No.

A rival in the Agency is trying to oust the Chief and got caught in his dealings.  Said Chief plots in secret to out the man and expose his misdeeds.

He makes sure to be recorded by his rival talking about an Agent coming into the Country the next day.

There is no Agent.

However, a Violinist is picked out because, well, he has one black shoe and one brown shoe.  That must be a tell!

As such, they record him, track him and do all sorts of stuff to find out what he's up to.

There are probably worse ways to spend a day, but in 1970s Paris, there are also far better!

He goes through all sorts of shenanigans- like learning that they switched his toothpaste out with shampoo for some reason- as the Spies get more desperate.

They send one of their own to seduce him.

As hijinks ensue, so does some carnal relations...which is watched by the people on a screen...

The lady Spy falls for him and tries to help him, which keeps him just away from danger.

His friend- who came to get him for sleeping with his girlfriend- keeps spotting the aftermath of the in-fighting between the Spies, such as this room full of dead guys!

Ultimately, our Hero gets away from everything- still blissfully-unaware- as the spy games come to a head.  The bad Spy learns that he was tricked and takes it pretty well.

He takes being shot less well, obviously.

In the aftermath, he escapes Paris for a while with the lady Spy.  Aw, that's...a little strange, but alright.  The End.

A wacky and silly time is had by all.  These kinds of Movies really live or die based on one thing- balance.  You need serious Characters alongside your goofy Characters.  You need a serious-looking Scene that can turn goofy.  In these ways, the Film works.  Our Hero is lovable and silly, even if he is cheating on his best friend's girlfriend.  That's considered being polite in France, I think.  He manages to be charming in his silliness.  He could have easily gone too far into being, well, Mr. Bean.  It's a slight difference, but he manages it.  The Plot itself is a simple set-up for lots of the aforementioned hijinks.  The counterbalance of the serious Spies and the goofy Violinist keeps things moving nicely.  All in all, The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe is a fun Movie that manages to be just silly enough to work, but not so silly that its truly farcical.  Plus it sets up a Sequel that I guess I have to track down now too.  Ah, the things we do for our Parents.

Next time, a 2-part look at some undersea Horrors.  If I need to save my breath, how will I get my writing done?  Stay tuned...