Bonus Doc: Terror in the Aisles- The TV Cut

 What happens when a Film that once existed solely as a Special Feature gets its own?

Well, for some backstory, the 1984 Documentary I covered recently was first rediscovered and put on the Blu-Ray release of Halloween II.

It's also the version that cut Mustapha Akkad's credit, so nothing is perfect.

In 2020, Terror got its own release and that came with Special Features of its own.

Besides the usual- Interviews with people involved- they also included the TV Cut of the Film.

How different is it?
Let's find out...

For starters, they didn't go through this version of the Film and restore it.

So, I put this shot from the previous Review in for comparison.
Do you miss the crisp HD look at Pleasence talking directly at you through the screen?

The main difference here is that they use a whole bunch of DIFFERENT Films for Clips and references.

It is not a full replace, but you get to see stuff that features less (or no) blood and no Nudity.

As such, let's put a Film in that was super recent at the time- Firestarter.

Remember in that last bit I talked about how they used different Films due to content.

Well, I should also point out that they include THE ENTIRE Dream Sequence from An American Werewolf in London.

The shooting, the stabbing and all of the nightmare fuel of it!

Credit to the Editors in some regards though.

The part where they talk about Nudity is obviously different for the TV Cut.

That involves selective cutting, like going right to the lady diving into the Ocean in Jaws, rather than letting you see the back of her for a few seconds.

This Version also features A TON of Universal content here too.

We get the Metalluna Mutant, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, the giant Mantis and the Film that inspired the fear of all cat owners.

The Incredible Shrinking Man.

The TV Cut also features footage from a Film I somehow haven't seen (or completely forgot that I have)- The Funhouse.

Remember, this was put in there to make it safe to run on TV in the '80s.

What even were the standards.

Lastly, I should mention that stuff you wouldn't even think of for a Film called Terror in the Aisles is in this Cut.

For example, the Book Collecting/Burning Scene from Fahrenheit 451.

At least they accidentally included something that has inspired real fright in the last couple of years.

All in all, the TV Cut is fine...but maybe bother restoring that one too, folks?
Just a suggestion.

Doc(umentary) Hollywood: Terror in the Aisles (1984)

 What is Horror?
Well, forget that question- this is about TERROR Films.

This is Terror in the Aisles, a 1984 Documentary about Thrillers and the Horror Genre.  It was actually released in some areas as That's Shock!, as a play on That's Entertainment, a pair of '70s Documentaries about Hollywood Films.

This one is a pretty loose attempt to show you a bunch of Horror Movie clips.
There's sort of a message.
There's sort of a point.

Nowadays it would be done on AMC and spread out over like 7 Episodes, so doing it in 80 minutes is a treat.

To see how this nearly forgotten Documentary was restored in recent Years, read on...

Donald Pleasence is here to talk to the Camera during a full Screening of...I guess lots of Films.

He talks about fright and human emotions for a bit in his great voice.

The Film occasionally tries to make a point.

Something about how we seek out terror.
Something about how we enjoy it.

Oh and let's make this topical (and then dated in a week) with him talking about how Texas Chainsaw Massacre was based on the life of Ed Gein.

For some reason, he says it as 'Ed GUY-ne' and not 'Gee-n.'

He also says that, well, he was also a...

'It was acceptable in the '80s...'

Since it is not just about Horror Films, they have more free reign with the clips/segments.

This one heavily features bits from Nighthawks, Vice Squad, Dressed to Kill and Marathon Man, for instance.

Clearly it is not!

For pacing, the Film splits up the Movies selected somewhat by Theme.

After talking about Villains (above), it turns to terror from other places.

Cue Alien, The Thing and, oh, hi Jeff.

I should mention that Donald is not our only Sometimes Narrator.

Nancy Allen also pops in at times, like to talk about how Horror Movie Victims tend to be Women.

Liked Donald, she also doesn't mention when she herself is included in the Clips chosen...

'Dressed to Narrate'

The best and worst thing about the Film is the sheer eclectic nature of the Films highlighted here.

So many are ones you'd imagine- like Rosemary's Baby, Jaws, Psycho and Night of the Living Dead- while others are just a bit odd.

For instance, brief clips can be seen of 1975's Bug (below), Suspiria and even Frogs.
That's a trio that definitely.... goes together?

In summary, some light reflection on humor nature from Donald Pleasence, a shotgun blast of random Film Clips (how else do you have Scanners and Konga in one Film?) and...that's it.

It's weird and kind of fun, even if there's not much of a point.

The End.

I wish I had more to say.

Of course, I wish the Film had more to say.

If you're not big into Films or, you know, obsessed with them like I am, you will probably get more out of this. 
You'll have seen less of the Films. 
You'll have not heard the points 40x by now.

That said, I was entertained.  
It is a bunch of great Films, many silly ones and some less mentioned ones all in one package.

I must again point out some recency bias as the first 1/3 heavily uses Scenes from Nighthawks and Vice Squad- two Films from 1982.
If that's why we get the 'You've got to be f***ing kidding me' Scene from The Thing, I guess I can live with that.

Kudos for mixing in stuff like The Brood, Wait Until Dark, Ms. 45 and others in with the more obvious fare.

Seriously, look at this selection of Films mentioned (for the VERY complicated Film Credits at the end) here and tell me you can find a throughline....

Next up, a proper Halloween Review that is STILL not Trick 'r Treat.  Sorry, but this one is hopefully good and cheesy!  Stay tuned...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: John Carpenter's Vampires (1998)

 A group of people end up partying at the wrong place with the wrong people.

John Carpenter's Vampires opens with the gang taking out a House full of Vampires.

However, the Head Vampire survives and awakens at dusk.

The group is celebrating....

The Sheriff allows this because they took care of the bloodsuckers (at the behest of the Catholic Church).

He even hired all of these, well, ladies of the night.

The Head Vampire arrives and starts killing everyone!

Hunters!
Hookers!
TJ Hooker!

The group is caught off guard, probably at least half drunk and has to work together to kill normal Vampires.

This stronger one is too much for them right now!

He manages to kill everyone there, save for James Woods, the Baldwin Brother and the Hooker that was with Woods- whom he attacked, but didn't kill.

He even gets a little creative here, punching through one Hunter to choke a lady to death!

Hell, even the Priest is killed.  He sure felt awkward at the Party full of Hookers and blow.

The moral: don't count your Vampires before they're all dead.

Also, Head Vampires sleep in the dirt, so check for them like you check for gophers.

Almost Heroes: Sgt. Jericho Butler (John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars)

 A Feature that I sometimes remember is back!

In John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars, the most notable Character looking back at it is Jason Statham's Jericho Butler.

This was right as he started to make it big.

Why is he here though?

****

He's arguably the second-in-command, seemingly the same rank as Henstridge's Character.  They work as mostly equals.

He's always at the front and center of things.

In the big fights, his abilities shine through.

It's just a hint of what you'd see in the (arguably over) stylized combat in the Transporter Films.

When the boss- Pam Grier- is taken out early, he helps keep people calm and focused on the mission.

He's also the one to discover the threat and learn about it for the group.

He never stops trying.

That leads to the final battle for the Main Cast, as they keep the ghost-infected Colonists at bay so that the bomb can be set.

This proves to be the end for all of the assorted Cast, like Carpenter buddy Peter Jason, the guy from Revenge of the Nerds (yeah, he's in this too- kinda) and Character Actress Clea Duvall.

Statham isn't taken down by flying saws in one go, however, like the rest.

He keeps fighting until the mob- now with less targets- focuses on him and swarms him.

He fights to the end, keeping the mob away from the Train.

So close, Jericho!

And yes, the fact that we're told that nobody but Henstridge survived in the 2nd Scene of the Film does take a bit away from this death.

Even so, we salute you, Sgt. Jericho Butler- you were a Hero to Almost the End.

Hire a Carpenter!: John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars

 Is this the worst Film of a great Director?
Is this the one that finally burned him out on making Films (save one proper) ever since?

This is Ghosts of Mars, his 2001 feature film.

This one is not remembered or treated well by many people.  I get why.
Do I agree though?

The Plot involves corrupted Martian Colonists creating chaos for the Cops.  Can our Heroes stop them?
Will the Film's structure give much of this away?

Notable Cast includes Ice Cube, Pam Grier, Jason Statham, Natasha Henstridge and Carpenter mainstay Peter Jason in a small role.

Is this terrible or misunderstood?  To find out, read on...

Mars.

In the future, it is partially colonized.

What danger lies under the surface though?

The Film was originally going to happen in chronological order, but then Carpenter got the idea to play with that.

As such, Henstridge is found alone on a train and questioned about what happened...

She's sent with a Squad- including Statham and Grier- to a Colony that is not answering any communication.

While they seek answers, Statham is just going to constantly hit on her.

They find the place empty...at first.

More exploration reveals lots of dead bodies staged inside buildings.

What happened?

It all relates to this guy- who looks like Marilyn Manson crossed with Glenn Zandig.

Statham relays a story of the Colonists awakening as violent, crazy people.  They mutilate their own bodies and kill those who didn't turn.

And yes, this was her saying what Statham told her that THESE GUYS told him.

The real reason that they are at the Colony is to pick up Ice Cube, who is wanted for a bunch of murders.

He claims innocence, but his brother trying to break him out of holding does hurt his cause.

Further confusing the narrative, Henstridge eventually talks to the lady who was in charge of Security (who threw herself into Holding for safety).

She tells her about how they had recently dug into a Mountain and released a crazy cloud of gas.

Apparently, this is the ghost of dead Martians striking back!

Our Heroes can't just get away- they have to destroy all of the possessed Colonists.

The solution- blow up the Nuclear Reactor and get away to safety!

Everyone save for Cube and Henstridge is killed off and the Panel isn't sure if they believe her, especially since Cube vanished.

As she recovers later, Ice Cube returns and breaks the 4th Wall to set up a Sequel that never happened.

The End.

A Film that is perhaps a bit misunderstood.  Does that make it great?  No.

The Film was designed to be a tongue-in-cheek Action Film.  As Carpenter said, 'It is called Ghosts of Mars- who is taking this seriously?!?'

That's fair.

I will say that the Film does feel a bit like a pastiche of Carpenter's other Movie Ideas.  Some say it was meant as an 'Escape from LA Sequel' (it wasn't) and some say that it is a Remake of Assault of Precinct 13 (it's not- I already covered that).

The problem here is that I don't think it gets crazy enough for this to be Satire.  Big Trouble in Little China- that one nails the tone and execution!

A big issue is that Natasha Henstridge (who was a last-minute replacement) doesn't pull of the same vibe.  She doesn't emote enough to be serious or silly.

Ice Cube is kind of the same thing.  He's pretty much too 'chill' for this Film.

Films can go for a silly, over-the-top action vibe and really nail it.  This one is, to use a baseball analogy, a double and not a home run.

It's not so bad that I'll have nightmares though.

Next up, let me jump to something quite a bit different.  With all of the Superhero Films coming out soon, let's jump back to one that failed to start a Franchise in the 2010s.  Stay tuned...

Hire a Carpenter!: John Carpenter's Vampires (1998)

I'm unabashedly a John Carpenter Fan.  I love his Movies and his Music.
I even listen to the latter in my car sometimes.

That said, the quality of his later Films is often in question.
He's the American equivalent of Dario Argento, isn't he?

Let's look at 1998's Vampires, a Film not Written by him in any way.  Should I be worried?

It is based on a Book, so I guess I'll just add that to my list of Books I'll have to track down and possibly read in the future.

The Plot involves a team of Vampire Hunters who meet a threat stronger than they are used to.  The survivors must stop this threat from growing even stronger and threatening the whole World!

Can I ignore the fact that James Woods is an awful person IRL and root for him as a Hero?
To find out, read on...

James Woods and Daniel Baldwin lead a team of Vampire Hunters in the Southwest.

They work like a well-oiled machine, clearing a 'Nest' of Vampires out, although the Master is nowhere to be seen.

Did they check Valley Lodge?

That night, they celebrate with drinking, drugs and ladies.

So, a normal Tuesday for Chris Farley in the '90s?

The Master Vampire shows up, bites this lady and straight up kills everyone on the team, save for Baldwin and Woods.

He also knows Woods' name- Jack Crow- for some reason and that freaks him out.

He goes to see the nearest man in charge for the Catholic Church- Maximillian Schell- and he won't give him answers.

He finally gets the information from a new Priest assigned to work with him (as their old one was killed).

He's Valek- the first Vampire.
He's got a group of other Masters and they're seeking out a Cross that will let them do a ritual to be 'pure.'

Translation- they don't explode into flames when the sunlight hits them.

Woods and Baldwin are the only ones who can stop them, along with the new Priest (who has never fought a Vampire before) and the woman who is slowly turning.

She can sometimes see what Valek sees, leading them to where they need to go.

Is it safe to keep her around though?

They show up too late to stop Valek and company from stealing the Cross.

Sorry, random Monks.

Now he's going to do the Ceremony.

It all leads to a big showdown, with our beaten up and outnumbered Heroes.

Is it a bloody good time?
Kind of, yeah.

For all of the twists and turns, watch the Film already (or again).

This one has aged better than I expected.  '90s Films that do the 'forget the old rules' thing can sometimes be a bit much.

The Film has a good Plot though, building up nicely to a big finale.

Woods is playing a guy who is kind of a terrible person, but he's on a righteous path.  He's half accurate to the real guy.

He softens a bit over time, which makes him easier to root for.

Thomas Ian Griffith as Valek is just the right amount of over the top here, being dramatic without usually being silly.  It's a fine line, especially in an outfit that is pretty cliche.

The Film's Style and Soundtrack really make this work- that's all John Carpenter.

I saw this Film long ago, likely on TV or Netflix (back when they gave you DVDs).  I'm happy to say that it still holds up.

As a bonus, it manages to not be sacrilegious...

Next up, let's keep the Carpenter train going.  It's his second-to-last (so far) Film and it sure is...not well-reviewed.  Stay tuned...

Remake This?: Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)

 A John Carpenter Film was always a sight to see.

A John Carpenter Film Remake though?  Hmm...

This is 2005's Remake of Assault on Precinct 13.  It was Directed by a French Director who hasn't done a whole lot in America (save for the recent Plane).

Amusingly (at least to me) there's a weird parallel between this one and The Purge, the Film that put Ethan Hawke back on the map.

Is there a reason to watch a new version of a Film that's already a Remake (of Rio Bravo)?  To find out, read on...

In the Film's Cold Open, Hawke works Undercover making a deal to catch a Russian Drug Dealer (Titus Welliver).

It goes poorly, ending in his two partners being shot and killed.

At least he took out Bosch.

Nearly a year later, he's running Precinct 13 in Detroit.

The place is being shut down in a few days as the Year ends.

Oh shit- this is a Holiday Film!!

A big time Criminal was caught and he was being transported.

However, the roads are bad, so the truck diverged to their Precinct.

A half-drunk, fully depressed Hawke reluctantly accepts it.

As the people party with the prisoners down in the Basement Cells, masked shooters show up.

They take the power out and lay siege.

They want one man- Lawrence Fishburne!

It turns out that the people behind the siege/assault is the lead Cop in the City- Gabriel Byrne.

No joke- when he first appeared on screen, I said 'Well, he's the bad guy.'

They want Fishburne, since they were corrupt Cops and he can testify against them.

Sadly, the united front of the Cops and the Criminals doesn't work out too well.

The criminals- including Ja Rule and John Leguizamo- get killed off as things get worse.

The latter didn't test well in Screenings.

Fishburne doesn't play well with them either, at one point trying to get away by using a Cop as a human shield.

The corrupt cops keep at them as one of the old Cop- Brian Dennehy- betrays them as well.

Fishburne and Hawke end up in the nearby Woods, pursued by the corrupt Cops.

Can they stop the villains?

Yes, but both men are wounded.

Hawke allows Fishburne to get away as the Credits roll.

We get KSI rapping the Plot of the Film and we're done.

A good Film, even if it feels a bit drawn out.  I guess a siege should feel that way, eh?

The Film is alright.  I haven't seen the Original in close to a Decade, but I have good memories of it.  This one doesn't do too much badly.

That said, having Maria Bello to be around just to act scared, nervous and die is a damn waste.  I'm supposed to feel sad when she dies.
I'm just annoyed at how pointless this is.

Outside of that, the Film has good action, drama and was shot well.

I didn't hate this one.  I just ultimately lost interest before it was all over.

While this one didn't have John Carpenter there, it did have a 'Carpenter' on Set...

Next up, a pretty famous Crime Film that is appropriate for this Month.  It has great critical acclaim, but will I like it?  Stay tuned...