Saturday, September 30, 2017

Twin Piqued: Part 17

As the end draws near, how much crazier can this get?!?  Let's see...
Important Moments
- Both Coopers raise to Twin Peaks as Lynch exposits.  BOB is first...
- BOB is at the Station, which freaks out the faceless lady.  Naturally, his method of transporation involves this...
- BOB Cooper is stopped by a surprising source and Dougie/Dale (Dole?) arrives in record time.  Then all hell breaks loose.

Why try to explain when I can just show this...
- Everyone is reunited for some *almost* explanation (the best you'll get here), before Cooper has to leave for a trip.
- He is Fire Walk With Me- I mean, the Past.  Oh and David Bowie is still a Teapot.
- Cooper tries to change History.  Can he?
The obvious Theme is Revelation.
- All is revealed about BOB Cooper.
- We learn why Freddy and his Green Glove are so important.
- The face of the faceless woman is revealed.
- Laura's connection to Dale is somewhat revealed more clearly.
Weird Moment(s)
So...just about all of this then.

Runner-up to Lynch talking about his dick and getting this reaction.
The Winner: the whole Dale/BOB situation, plus what happens after it.  So, all of this then.
Wow.  This one was finally worth the wait!  The insanity on display here is just...something to behold.  2 Coopers!  The Woodsmen!  The floating head of BOB!  A punch to Hell!  A trip to meet Phillip 'Teapot' Jeffries!  A trip to the Past!  This whole Episode was weird as hell.  This was what all of this was building up to.  I still don't think that this was worth all of the random non-sequiturs that happened over the last 16 Episodes.  This could have been done in much less time, but such is David Lynch.  With one more Episode to go, will all of this be wrapped up?  Oh and what is up with Audrey?  Can you sum it all up for me, Bobby Briggs?
Next time, it all comes to an end.  What the hell else can happen on this Show?  See you then...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Instant Death (2017)

Another poor guy bites it AND he lives up to his name quite literally!

In Instant Death, this guy named 'Razor' is killing folks that sell on his territory.  They chase one guy to a Parking Garage and kill him right there.
"Gun shots- I should pop in and check!"
"Oh crap!  See ya!  I'll just be...blargh."

He's dead.
This sets the Plot in motion (since Lou decides to look out AFTER this happens)!

Here's the bonus: while recapping the events to his buddy, he says "...and some poor bastard got killed."   Thanks, Lou!
The moral: don't go looking towards gun shots.  I mean...that's obvious, right?

On the plus side, it proves that wearing a black hoodie is dangerous for White People too!

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

New Flix: Dave Made a Maze

Between all sorts of crazy Horror and Action Films, there's this quirky little gem...
After a guy's girlfriend is gone on business all weekend, she comes home to find, well, guess.
She calls his friend over to help as Dave is somehow lost in the Maze and won't let them destroy it.
Their solution- go into the Maze, along with a Documentarian, some friends and 2 Hostel Guests.
The Maze turns out to be full of all sorts of strange wonders and dangers!
What strange secret lies in the Maze?
Will they make it out?  What silly way is there to escape?

To find out, watch the Film.
Far better than Dark Harvest 2: The Maize.  No, that isn't my bar.  This is also the best Film to feature John Hennigan/Nitro/Morrison/Mundo/Impact.  To be fair, his other work featured here was by The Asylum, so another low bar.  This Film is fun, whimsical and inventive.  It takes a silly idea, 'lamp shades' how silly it is and then just runs with it.  They don't pretend that this makes sense.  They don't pretend that this is logical.  The Film just has fun with a silly, wacky premise.  Supposedly most of the Set Material (that being Cardboard) was just left out behind a Store.  Could you imagine if a Marvel Film did that?  Your love of this Film will rely pretty much solely on your ability to accept/like the silly premise.  It is a bit of a Hipster Film, but don't let that label scare you away like this is by the Duplass Brothers.  It is silly.  It is quirky.  If you don't like it, that's fine.  I had a fun time with it, so I hope you enjoy it as much as these two...
A little uneven at times, but kudos for running with the strange idea.  It is just silly enough to work!

Monday, September 25, 2017

Pilot Wings: Channel Zero- The No-End House

Another 'Season' of this strange, but interesting Series.  Before I wrap up my look at the original Episodes, let's look ahead to this unrelated (so far) Story...
Somewhere between being kids in a Disney Film and the Hipsters of It Follows, our Heroes are spending the end of Summer checking out the titular attraction.
The No-End House promises 6 scary Rooms designed to mess with you.  Enjoy!
Head Molds of you less than 5 minutes after entering.  Nothing weird about that!
Man cosplaying as the floating head from Zardoz.  Again- nothing weird about that.

He leads our Heroine to the 3rd and 4th Rooms, where all sorts of creepy stuff happens.
After a freaky night at the Haunted House, she returns home for a surprise (that I won't SPOIL).

To find out what happens, watch the Show this Year.
Subtle, freaky stuff.  The first Episode of this Season does a good job of a slow, but steady burn.  They give you a big moment at the beginning, just without any context.  After that, we get slow and steady stuff that seems a little weird.  Once they get into the House, they still build things up nicely.  The Rooms manage to be plenty freaky and worth the wait.  While I don't find the Characters completely-relatable (given my lack of obvious life experience comparisons), but I did like their Story.  They seems like nice people and I want them to live.  Given the Story, I don't know how good the odds of that are though.  All in all, I like the Pilot and it made me wait to see how this would all play out.  Mission accomplished.  Just remember- while you're watching Shows like this, people are watching you...
A neat idea for a creepy Show.  The key is going to be how well it all plays out now...

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Gained in Translation: The Dark Crystal

I won't lie- I built up a small collection of these when I was away from my Computer.  More for you though.

This time, how about we look at Japan's take on a Cult Classic from Jim Henson...

Could you imagine seeing this Poster as a young child?  Could you imagine how hyped you'd be?!?

Here's the untouched version...
I didn't have to change much, but I did add some contrast and brightness.  You're welcome.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

New Flix: Instant Death (2017)

Sadly, this is not part of the Van Damme 'Death' Series.  Instead, this is a new Action Film Starring...Lou Ferrigno?
The Plot is basically a mix of Taken, Death Wish and First Blood.

Lou is a Soldier with some mental instability who is going to see his Daughter after a Decade.
This guy- who is NOT Ray Winstone- is a British Gangster killing fools to get to the top.
In the United Kingdom (the Film never gets more specific than that), the two cross paths as Lou stumbles across a shooting and escapes via his 'specific set of skills.'
Afterwards, he immediately goes to see his Family.  Sure- what could go wrong?

No SPOILERS on the exact details, but they are bad enough to make Lou emote!
This leads to Lou going on a killing spree.  Will he get his vengeance or will the ineffectual Police stop him?

To find out, watch the Film.
Damn dark!  Damn derivative.  As a straight Action Film, this works fine.  There is a certain novelty in seeing a 60+ year old Lou Ferrigno beating up fools.  To his credit, he still has the physical presence to pull this off.  This isn't like seeing a pasty Seagal just sort of wave his arms at people to knock them over.  On the other hand, Ferrigno is not exactly famous as a fighter (unless you watched the Cage Films).  He doesn't embarrass himself, but he also doesn't shine in this regard.  When it comes to looking intense and shooting people, he has that down though!  The biggest thing about the Film is just how bleak it is.  There is no moral.  There is no lesson.  It is just bad people doing bad things to each other and then another pretty bad guy doing bad things to them (at least with some reason).  I guess I could give the Film credit for not trying to make him out to be a hero or to make this 'fun' (like the new Death Wish seems to be going for).  Speaking of Death Wish, there is nothing new here.  Isn't that right, new Richard Crenna?
A bleak, violent Film without a real moral.  If that's your thing, then have at it!

Friday, September 22, 2017

Twin Piqued: Part 16

After Irma took my power and delayed my viewing, I'm back on track!  Three to go!
Important Moments
- BOB Cooper takes Richard Horne to a rock, which does something magic and disintegrates him.  Damn you, Tesseract!  He's apparently his son too...but good luck figuring that one out with the information available thus far.
- Dougie (or Doug-E) is in a Coma.  Mitchum Brothers hijinks ensue.
- After nearly 8 Episodes of build-up, 1/4 of the Hateful Eight wait around Dougie's House...and get shot by a crazy Lawyer all of a sudden.  Alright...
- We learn the truth about Diane.  More on that later.
- Cooper is finally awake...and Cooper.  He says good-bye to everyone and goes to find BOB Cooper.
- Audrey FINALLY leaves her house, watches Eddie Vedder and then dances, before...dammit.
As far as Themes go, this one works...Death and Revival.
- Those killers seemingly die.
- Dougie is finally 'dead'
- Richard Horne seems to be dead(ish).
- Diane is...whatever that was.
- Dale Cooper is finally back!
- Oh and whatever is going on with Audrey.
Weird Moment(s)
Runner-up is the casual way that everyone takes the transition from Dougie to Dale.  It's all 'oh, Electricity does that.

The winner is, of course, the bit with Diane.  Here's Wikipedia's summary of this...
"Having received a text from the doppelgänger, Diane tells the task force that, years ago, Cooper raped her and took her to an old gas station. Exclaiming "I'm in the sheriff's station... I'm not me", she pulls a gun but is shot by Albert and Tammy. Diane is drawn to the Black Lodge and dissolves into a seed. Tammy realizes that the "Diane" they had been associating with is actuality a tulpa"
About freaking time!  Yes, I'm going to be that guy.  Dougie (or Doug-E) Cooper was an interesting idea.  Should he have lasted for 15 Episodes out of 18 though?  No.  Nobody makes Lynch do what they want when it comes to this Series (unless it is that one time with the Network in 1990)- fine.  I just wish that someone would have reigned this one in and maybe focused more on him solving the mysteries of the area.  For instance, what about those people torn to shreds in New York?  How about the people who keep showing up with the Major's DNA?  How about the Woodsmen?  The guy with the rubber glove that gives him super-strength?  Diane's whole deal?  Hell, just have him constantly trying to figure out what BOB Cooper is doing and play up the idea that he's a Doppelganger.  Why couldn't we get that Show?  Don't get me wrong- I do enjoy this quite a bit.  I like the quirky stuff in Season 2 more than most seem to.  That one was just balanced out with the actual Plot and fun stuff like Cooper's crazy rival.  Hey look- my idea for having Dale trying to stop/catch BOB!  On the plus side, things seem to be moving...  
Next time, I feel like I'm in for a trick here.  Will the Plot finally move towards the big climax?  See you then...

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art?: Liquid Sky (1982)

I haven't seen this Film either...but this Poster makes me want to...

So what is this Film about?  Well...

According to IMDB, the Plot involves Aliens looking for Heroin, said Aliens farming sex pheromones and lots of Drugs.

I kind of want to see this more!

Here's the original piece...
The thing is a year older than I am, so it just needed a little touch-up.  Who wouldn't?

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Streaming Flix: Wolf Warrior (2015)

A not-so-notable Action Film from China now stands out as the Country has propped up its Sequel!  Let' see how it all started...
Our Hero is a bad-ass Soldier who can't follow orders.  When he kills a Mob Boss' brother, he's being promoted to a Wolf Warrior, essentially the 'super soldiers' that challenge/train other Soldiers.

What a lesson, kids!
The Warriors are immediately sent out on a Training Mission!  Pacing!

Things go wrong when...
A) Actual(ly terrible CG) Wolves attack.
B) The Boss sends some Foreign Soldiers out to get revenge.
The mission changes when one of the men- who they give past tense pathos to- is killed.  The two groups unite to take out the Foreigners...I mean, Villains...I mean, Foreigners.
Scott Adkins is the lead Villain of the group.  He likes to taunt the Soldiers and make way for Frank Grillo in the Sequel.
Can our Hero defeat the evil Foreigner?  Can he somehow shrug off 4 bullet wounds and a near-death explosion or two?
No matter what happens, just know this- the Film literally wears its feelings on its sleeve.  The End.
There is some fun to be had with this one.  Right off the bat, the Film does Action well.  It is about *all* it does well, but that's alright.  The Plot is not really that deep, but they try to hide it.  It all boils down to 'Guy wants Revenge' and that's it.  They keep changing the focus to help you not realize this.  Having said that, it isn't a bad Plot.  They attempt to give all of the Mercenaries their own identities, which is nice.  Not much really comes of it, but I appreciate the effort.  The Pacing is a bit odd near the end as things seem to turn WAY too easily for our Heroes.  National Pride is just that good, I guess.  Putting aside the silliness and melodrama of the Film, it is a fun, enjoyable Action Film that just doesn't become any more than that.  It is a thinly-disguised version of one of our Go Army Commercials.  This is notable because China decided that Wolf Warrior 2 needed to be a hit to help push that agenda.  As such, they locked out every other Film for about 2 Months, including stuff like Wonder Woman and Spider-Man: Homecoming!  The actual Film seems to have a very similar Plot to, of all things, The Marine 2 (aka the one without John Cena or The Miz).  Whenever we get it over here, I'll have to check it out.  Just some final food for thought now: Frank Grillo's recent Films have grossed over $3 billion (counting the Marvel and Purge Films).  Yes, him.
A decent Action-Adventure Film that could certainly set the stage for more.  Just be prepared for tons of Nationalism on display with zero subtlety.