Mondo Dictionary: The Nick Fury Moment

This one has been a long time coming, but a recent Film inspired me to finally talk about it.

In a Post-Credits bit from Justice League: Throne of Atlantis, the defeated villain- Ocean Master- is visited in his Cell...

...by Lex Luthor, who appears to be setting up stuff for a future Animated Film.

So...that brings us to the official Definition...

Nick Fury Moment (noun): When Films add a Post-Credits Scene to set up big moments for future Films or introduce new Characters.

Examples: Well, this one...

1) Nick Fury appears and talks about the Avengers Initiative. (Iron Man)

2) Coulson goes out and finds Thor's Hammer (Iron Man 2)

3) A young Apocalypse seems to appear in the Egyptian Desert (X-Men: Days of Future Past)

Want to know how prevalent this has become in the last 8 years?  It even appears in a Fast & Furious Film!

Seriously, Eva Mendes appears and tells The Rock about how Michele Rodriguez is alive (Fast Five).

Will this stay cool (like in Captain America: The Winter Soldier), stay fun (The Avengers) or just piss  some fans off (Guardians of the Galaxy).

Only time will tell...

Mondo Dictionary: European Horror Ending

This one has been a long time coming and, quite frankly, I'm amazed that I haven't done this before.  After all, I must have referenced it at least a dozen times so far...

Going back to the '50s and 60s, European horror films gained a bigger audience in America.  When we started seeing them, we noticed an interesting trend.  Their movies did not always have happy endings.  In fact, many of them end with everyone dying and the monster/killer winning.  This inspired us...

More American films decided to take this idea as their own, adding bleak endings to their tales.  This trend was met with both success...

* Jeepers Creepers got a lot of hype and praise for it's shocking ending.

...and disapproval.

* Army of Darkness made people so mad with its bleak ending that a new- illogical one- was shot.

Without those film pioneers who dared to depress us, we wouldn't have famous film endings like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Count Yorga, Vampire.

Mondo Dictionary: Russian Murder Judo

Well, I joked with one of my friends (and a fellow member) about doing this induction, so here it finally is.

Moscow Heat is a Direct-to-DVD action film that squanders the opportunity to feature Adrian Paul in a major role.  

Instead, it features an unknown guy named Alexander Nevsky (no relation- I think) and Michael York.  No, really.  

While Nevsky looks like a dull version of WWE's Chris Masters and can't run, he does have one thing on his side- Russian Murder Judo!

The guy knows Sambo, which is the Russian equivalent to Judo or CQC, and uses it in the film- once.  

Right near the end, he ends a fight by just dead lifting a guy, placing him over his back and snapping his neck!  

This inspired him to create the new name for this technique- Russian Murder Judo!

* Now that he's got a mention on the page & credit for one of these, let's see if he'll comment*

Mondo Dictionary: Syfy Opening

Syfy Opening: a scene of pointless death and/or violence that is designed to showcase the title creature/event in the opening.

Why do they do this?  Because most of these films are too low-budget to feature the monster/disaster effects for more than a couple minutes at a time.  As a result, they give you one good part in the beginning...followed by nothing for at least thirty minutes in. 

Examples
* Rock Monster features a pointless scene of the creature forming and killing someone.
* Sabretooth features some hikers getting killed by the mosnter.  Hurray.
* Cyclops features the creature stomping into frame, killing two guys and leaving.

Mondo Dictionary: Christopher Walken Role

We all know who Christopher Walken is. No matter what movie he's in, the man is always good. Not all of the movies he chooses to appear in are, however. Usually in those films, he has a very small role, which makes you like him even more. It's like the tiny crack of golden light that made its way into Danae's room while she was locked up by her father...but I digress. Here are some examples of other Christopher Walken Roles not played by the man himself.

Laserblast: Roddy Mcdowall briefly appears in this crappy movie as a doctor. In only his third scene, he is killed off and the movie suffers for it. Mind you, it's about a teenager who discovers an abandoned alien weapon in the desert, so it was not great to begin with.

Cyclone (1987): Jeffrey Combs has a small, but pivotal role in this Fred Olen Ray film. Sadly, the plot is centered around his character's death. This is not a SPOILER, mind you, as the film's own plot synopsis mentions it. As the only good actor in it (save for Robert Quarry in his last gasps of stardom), he needs to be, you know, the star!

Jason Goes To Hell: Let's face facts: Steven Williams as Creighton Duke was the best character. While he survives most of the film and has a bunch of scenes, he is often forgotten about for the main story featuring John D. LeMay, who is not up to par. Besides the fact that Kane Hodder's Jason is written out of most of the film.

Every bad kung-fu film with Pat Morita: This is a given, right? I mean, the man has appeared in so many of these movies. The man was in American Ninja 5, as well as Bloodsport II and III! In Ninja, he appears once in the first ten minutes and once in the last five. If there ever was a man who embodied the Christopher Walken Role besides Mr. Walken himself, it was Pat!

I could go on, but you get the point. This is a standard of all genres, ranging from action to comedy to horror. It would be nice if movie-makers would figure this out and focus their films on the good characters. I'm asking for too much, aren't I?

Up next, a new term for really over-done writing. I think you'll get my drift. Stay tuned...

Mondo Dictionary: Wrestling Haircut

You guys probably aren't as big wrestling fans as I am, but this one is still sort of interesting. Pro-wrestling is an industry built around one mantra: make everything a story. One of your wrestlers (Brian Pillman) has injured his ankle, so what do you do? Have another wrestler (Steve Austin) attack his ankle with a chair, thus creating the term 'Pillman-ize.' Of course, the most famous example of this is the Montreal Screw-job. I don't need to explain that one, do I? With all that said, let's get into today's word: the Wrestling Haircut.

Basically, if you want to change your look dramatically, make it a story. I'll give some examples.

Kurt Angle- the man's hair was fading out in the front, so he wanted to go all 'Mr. Clean.' Thus, a match between him and Edge was made in which the loser was forced to shave his head. Guess who won.

Roxxi- the woman's gimmick as a voodoo queen (just go with it) required her to have purple hair for well over a year. All that dye was killing her roots, so she wanted to go short. Thus a Knockout (read: women) match was made where the loser had their head shaved.

Kevin Nash- this successful wrestler had gotten hired to play 'The Russian' in 2004's The Punisher. But, the character needed a buzz-cut, so Nash needed to cut his locks. Guess who got booked in a Loser Must Get Their Head Shaved match?

Big Show- the man's hair was fading out in the front, so he wanted to pull a 'Mr. Clean' as well. Rather than being booked in a match, he was booked in a bizarre angle. In a feud with The Angle Alliance (one of two groups on Smackdown at the time), he was shot with a giant dart full of elephant tranquilizer...and had his head shaved.

Yeah, that last one was weird. Just picture Kurt Angle going to a website to order animal tranquilizers and a dart gun that is used by circuses and zoos. Back now? Okay then. Remember- the wrestling industry is built around nothing but reality. Stay tuned...

Mondo Dictionary: Remake-quels

The movie industry is just overwhelmed with 'quels.' You have sequels and prequels, which dramatically flood the market. Less prevalent is the side-quel, which occasionally pop up in form of the Inspector Clouseau films. The one that is a weird blight on the whole thing though is today's subject...

The Remake-quel

This is a strange one, so let me explain. This is when you make a film sequel, but it is basically just a remake too. Confusing? Somewhat. I'll explain...

Damien: The Omen, Part II- This is a sequel, except for the fact that it ignores the ending where he is adopted by the President. The only problem: it's the same movie! He gets adopted by a family, kills anyone that gets too close, the dad tries to kill him and he ends up surviving. The story goes nowhere (see how The Omen III time-jumps) and nothing changes, save for his age.

The Rage: Carrie II- The same High School from the first film runs into the same events from the first film, while also addressing the original in this TV film. How is this unique? Oh, I see- it's because it is more recent. Right...

Firestarter II: Rekindled- A government group attempts the same experiments from the first film (with Drew Barrymore) and with the same results in this TV movie. Again- what is new here? Anything? Okay, I guess not.

That's all I can take, quite frankly. These movies only come along once in a while, but they do immeasurable damage to creativity in the process. Stop making these movies, Hollywood! That is all. Stay tuned...

Mondo Dicitionary: The 'Rocky Horror' Effect

Who does not love The Rocky Horror Picture Show? I mean, besides the fact that it is a top-heavy film that lumbers into its second act and falls apart in its third. Who cares? Everyone loves 'Time Warp' and 'Sweet Transvestite,' so that is enough. Plus, look at all the big hits that Richard O'Brien (the songwriter) worked on afterward like Shock Treatment and The Return of Captain Invincible. Those were hits, right? The effect of this movie served as the precursor to The Evil Dead Effect, but is arguably the more notable one. Basically, people purposely tried to make 'cult classic' films. Did it always work? No. Let's check some of these out...

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: Love it or hate it (I'm the previous), but it managed to succeed at its goal. The fact that they made three sequels should say something.

The Return of Captain Invincible: I mentioned this earlier, but this is a clear example. It features songs by O'Brien, but is actually an Australian film. It's quirky and stupid, but has some good moments. It's obsession with Benny Hill-style comedy makes it hit-or-miss for most people though.

Wild Zero: A Japanese rock band fighting zombies from outer space? This just screams wannabe cult film. Only it's not good.

Everything by Troma and Full Moon: Do I really need to explain this? Nah.

That is obviously just the tip of the giant planet-sized iceberg. Stop and consider this for a moment though: people have been trying to emulate the business model of a film that made no money when it came out and only became successful over a 20 year period. Aim higher, guys!

Next on the list, my original update that I had planned. Stay tuned...

Mondo Dictionary: Rite of Passage Films

There are films you want to see and films that you have to see. By that, I mean that 'you have to see them right now or you are a pathetic poser! If you don't see them, everything you say will be equivalent to shit!" Those films are...

Rite of Passage Films

These films come in many categories and range from art films to terrible horror films. The films that make this list are based on cultural popularity and which clique you are a part of. Let's break it down a little bit, shall we?

1. Old-School Horror: The classics like the Universal Dracula, Frankenstein and Wolfman films, as well as Nosferatu.
2. New-School Horror: Films like Scream, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street and even newer stuff like Jeepers Creepers.
3. Art House: The name of the game is David Lynch and his films such as Eraserhead. Cronenberg is also a popular choice for this crowd.
4. Sadists: These guys love gross and they love it to death. Hostel, The Messengers and the Saw films are their 'bag.'
5. 'Obscurists': These guys love films like Freaks, Cannibal Holocaust and Bloodsucking-Freaks. What weirdos.

Looking back, it is scary how many of these groups that I dabble in. That's the price of being obsessively-obsessed with films, I guess. Yes, that is not a real term.

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Next on the horizon, a way to combine a story and your desire to avoid people looking at your hair line. Stay tuned...

Mondo Dictionary: The 'Evil Dead' Effect

Every once in a while, a film comes along that changes the way that films are made. Just look at the rash of Satanic films after Rosemary's Baby or the entire sub-genre of Brucesploitation. A lot of times though, the impact of these films gets forgotten as years go by. I want to change that, at least in regards to one thing:

The 'Evil Dead' Effect

Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn was a major hit on the burgeoning video market of the late 1980s and influenced a ton of films. Horror films stopped being just scary and started to be 'wacky.' Admittedly, some of this comes from the impact of Robert Englund's increasingly parody-styled performances in the Nightmare on Elm Street films. To get a real idea of this film's impact, just look at some of the movies that followed it.

*Waxwork and Waxwork II turned from fairly-scary to overtly-comedic. This is especially true in the second film, which parodied The Haunting and Aliens.

*C.H.U.D. II is a horror comedy, when the original is a fairly-serious horror film about monsters beneath the sewers. While there were jokes, it was played quite straight.

*The Return of the Living Dead films are so tongue-in-cheek that they cannot breathe. 'Nuff said.

*The Monster Squad re-unites all of Universal's monsters for the first time in over 40 years. What does it feature? Garlic bread burning Dracula and the Wolfman being kicked in the nuts. Wow.

*All of Peter Jackson's early films (Bad Taste to The Frighteners). Do I need to explain this one?

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There are more of them out there, but this is just a sample. For future movie terms, keep reading. Up next is a term that basically 'sucker punches' subtlety. Stay tuned...