5,500th Post Celebration: Zodiac (2007)

 Alright, Internet- you win.

At long last, I've given in and watched David Fincher's 2007 Film known simply as Zodiac.
It's not about Astrology- sorry.

It's actually about the Zodiac Killer, who plagued California for a while and still remains an unsolved case- at least officially.  Everyone is 99% sure who did it, but he's dead and was never formally convicted.

This Film tells the entire tale and is based on Robert Graysmith's Book.  Coincidentally, he's also the young, handsome Lead Character in the Film.

Alongside a Reporter and countless Cops, he (eventually) works to try and solve the unsolvable case.
Where is the mystery when you know the case is unsolved?

That's a question surely asked by Fincher and company.
Maybe that's why he pivoted to Mindhunter- they were already in jail!

Is this Film a masterpiece of details or an example of cinematic excess?
To find out, read on...

In 1969, a Couple pulls off alone on July 4th.

A car pulls up and a flash blinds them until he walks up and shoots them, killing her and nearly the guy too.

A letter is sent to a bunch of newspapers, including the San Francisco Chronicle.  It contains a confession and a cipher message.

The Cartoonist- Graysmith- unofficially works with the lead Reporter- Paul Avery- to figure out what is going on.

Is this legit?

In September, another Couple is targeted.

This time, Zodiac is wearing a full Supervillain outfit and stabs the duo, killing the woman.

Later still, he kills a Cab Driver- Paul Stine- and the Cops miss him leaving the crime scene.

This brings in our 3rd Lead....

A Detective- Paul Toschi- who learns that this case is connected to the other killings.

It becomes his life for the next few years.

All of a sudden, this is about Robert again, as his date with Chloe Sevigny is interrupted by having to call Avery, who they suspect is in danger.

He all but taunted Zodiac and is seeking out an anonymous Lead.

The Cops eventually get enough partial leads to bring them to see a man named Arthur Leigh Allen, who fits the bill in so many ways.

John Carrol Lynch would go on to play a Killer Clown on American Horror Stories and then the most famous one not created by Stephen King.

Did this set him up for that?

Here's where the trouble really picks up...

A bunch of time passes now and the Zodiac remains silent for some reason.
Avery leaves the Paper and the case eventually becomes the obsession of Graysmith.

He's now our Lead again as he tries to connect old clues and find new ones.

Other than making him get weird phone calls and a book deal, this goes nowhere.
He goes to see Allen...and does nothing.

In 1991 (8 years after the last Graysmith Scene), the Book comes out and the survivor of the Opening Scene reappears.
He picks Allen out of a lineup...

...and the Film cuts to black now.  We get text telling us that Allen died before questioning and this didn't go anywhere.
What an unsatisfying conclusion.

A Film whose appeal is 100% clear to me...but I didn't love it.

Objectively, the Film is well-made.  It's shot well, directed well and has a good Score.

So, what's my issue exactly?
The format.  To me, it is all wrong.

The Film tells the tale chronologically and leaves out almost no details.
That's why it is so damn long and requires SO (pause) MANY (pause) TIME JUMPS.

A simple way is to tell the Story entirely from Graysmith's point of view.  Have it start when this one really makes him the Lead and you can still have the big reenactments of the murders.

Instead of happening and then being litigated an hour or so later, they happen when he covers the case for the Book.

Make him the focus and make the format of the Story- which covers from 1969 to 1983- work FOR you and not AGAINST you.

I'm sure that it is blasphemy to some people to say 'Remake this Film by Fincher,' but I'm all for it.

Speaking of things I'm all for, here's the return of James LeGros after I literally just covered his Episode of The Outer Limits!

Next time, let's resume our normal, non-anniversary activities.  In a complete tonal shift, it's time to revisit the Scary Movie franchise (since I paid $3.18 for a DVD).  Stay tuned...

Is It Bad?: Spider-Man 3 (2007)

Is Raimi's final Spider-Man Film the worst one ever?

Spider-Man 3 is a contentious Film to many people, myself included.

After nearly 20 years, I gave this one another shot.

Pro: We get to see Peter and Mary Jane happy.  They were kept apart in various ways for the last 2 Films.

They are doing well on their own and they are happy.

Enjoy it while you can!

Pro: Harry Osborn's Arc comes to a head, which is a great use of the Film Trilogy format.  He becomes like this Father and tries to kill Peter.

Con: The Plot Point of him getting amnesia is not great for a single Film. 
Like other parts of the Film, having him set up for Spider-Man 4 would have helped.

Pro: The arc of him being Peter's friend is still good though.

Pro: Sandman is a good villain.  I'm glad that technology caught up enough to make him work on screen.

His Arc as a guy who had 'bad luck' and did bad things is good.

Con: Having his Origin tied to a retcon about Uncle Ben's death was a big miss.
There were other ways to make Peter hate him.

Pro: Tobey (as Peter) really commits to the slow, subtle changes to his personality because of the Symbiote.

Pro: Finally introducing Gwen and Captain Stacy is great.
Con: The Film does almost nothing with them, especially Captain Stacy.

If there's a Spider-Man 4 (as there should be for this Plot), they could do more with him.

Pro: I don't hate Emo Peter acting cool.
Con: Every Lead in the Film clearly was auditioning for Musical Theater Roles in this Film.
Dunst sings in the Play and dances with Franco.  Maguire does...jumping?

Con: James Franco.
Do I need to explain this?

Pro: He's honestly decent in this, especially when you're supposed to hate him.  It just feels...natural.

Pro: Venom looks cool and I do like the Arc setting up Eddie Brock as Venom.

Con: This is a great set-up...for Spider-Man 4.

Seriously, set up a villainous Franco and Grace for that Film.  Use another villain- like Mysterio- if you want too.

Just this Arc being rushed is too much.

Pro: The chaotic Final Battle- rushed as the Character Arcs are- is cool.

Con: The aftermath is paced oddly, with a prolonged bit with Sandman and then one with Franco.
It's not quite full Return of the King.

Con: The Film doesn't end with him proposing.  Weird to drop that, no?

What is Good?

The Acting is really good.  Every returning Actor nails their parts here.
J. Jonah even gets some great moments of comeuppance that Simmons plays well.

The Visual Effects are really good here, mostly.  They attempted to blend the Live-Action and CGI Models together.  They *mostly* hold up in HD.

The Character Designs and overall Production Values are great.  Even the new Score is good.

*

What is Bad?

Too much Plot for one Film.  It's the obvious answer.

Pick Sandman and keep the Franco opening bit and return- just save the blow-off for Part 4.  Same with the Venom set-up.

The Film can also come off a bit melodramatic at times.  Raimi and Company have moments of that in other Films, but this one is especially notable.

There are not a million bad things- just a few big ones that define the Film.

So...

Is It Bad?

NO.

The Film is disappointing and certainly a victim of Studio overreach.  Raimi has made it clear that Venom was a Studio mandate.
I just wish that they could have worked things out Plot-wise, because so much of the Film is good!

Like X-Men 3: The Last Stand, enough time has passed for me to look at this with a broader, less emotional viewpoint.  It's still disappointing in the wake of just how great Spider-Man 2 is.

Almost Heroes: Doyle (28 Weeks Later)

 As a farewell (at least until The Bone Temple gets covered) to the 28 Series, let me honor a man who almost made it.

In 28 Weeks Later, the small British Colony is watched by a series of US Snipers.
Notably, we meet Doyle...

His name is 'D' for Danny and 'oyle' for Boyle.

Renner's Soldier turns out to be nicer than the rest, refusing to shoot at the crowd when ordered to.

Instead, he breaks ranks to help the survivors.

He manages to get the shrinking group out of the military compound and into the nearby City.

He gets them inside a car when the military releases dangerous gas (apparently trying everything).

However, they still have to escape.

As such, he helps push the car into gear, knowing that the military and their flamethrowers are nearby.
He gets the car to make an exit...but doesn't get out himself.

We salute you, Doyle.
You *almost* saved the day.

In his defense, the kids do make it out thanks to him...only to be ignored entirely in 28 Years Later.
Not your fault, buddy.

Shudder Day: 28 Weeks Later (2007)

 As a Film Monster Connoisseur, I've always preferred Zombies to Infected.

That said, I should pay more attention to this Series, since it suddenly revived for 2 Films in the last Year.

Let's jump back to 2007 for...

As a refresher, a strange infection started to show up in England- specifically around London.

People would get bit, get red eyes and become dangerous infected.

They would chase you down, tear you apart and snarl the whole time.

That brings us to know as our Hero- Robert Carlyle- is hiding out in the Countryside with his Wife and other survivors.

They help a child and then immediately get attacked.

When his wife is cornered near him, he chooses Flight over Fight.

Later, we are introduced to the new situation.

The US Army has moved in and has locked down the area.

Led by the top brass (including a waste of a role for Idris Elba), they have the Isle of Dogs as a Safe Zone...for now.

Enter these two kids.

They are the Children of Carlyle and his Wife.

After he's not exactly honest about how he lost their Mom, they break the quarantine and go home to get a picture of her.

Things go wrong.
They go very wrong.

Can they get out when the infection is revived and people start to die?

Let's avoid 18 year old SPOILERS and say 'To find out, watch the Film now.'

A tense Film that will hinge upon how much you care about Children.

This Film seems to inspire two vastly different reactions- 'Those poor kids' or 'Those damn kids!'

Simply put, the crux of the Plot is them breaking quarantine and discovering Mom.  Granted.

That said, the point here is that this tenuous barrier was NOT going to hold it.  If they didn't do it, some lady might go back for her hair dryer, some guy might want his skateboard or some other kids may wander over just for fun.

Also, let's be clear- the Dad is at fault here.  If he stayed, these people wouldn't die.

For many, the real villain is the shaky cam.

It can be good in small doses.  It can create a look of frantic chaos.

If you actually want to see what is happening and avoid taking Dramamine though, this is a problem.

It is also funny to wonder if this Film is the origin of Jeremy Renner being cast as a Soldier (The Hurt Locker) and the 'guy on the roof' (The Avengers).

Regardless of how you feel about kids, this one has impact and kept the Series running...in about 2 Decades.

A Film that delivers what you want from the Infected in Films.  That said, it is full of that damn Shaky Cam!

Aquatic Killers: Rogue (2007)

 The long-awaited look at the OTHER Crocodile Film from 2007.  Back in...December (?!?), I looked at Primeval and planned to jump right to this one.

Here we are with me finally covering Rogue, a 2007 Film about a Crocodile...in Australia.

This one is also based on real events...in a very loose manner.  A rogue crocodile was loose in the '70s, but didn't attack anyone on record.

This Film is set in the Present (of 18 years ago) and has it doing just that.

Will the fact that water runs down the sink in the opposite direction there make a difference?
Will people realize that I'm joking and know that isn't a real thing?

To find out, read on...

Our Cold Open has a creature in the Outback killed by a Crocodile.

I guess this was made for the 6 people who went to see this and DID NOT KNOW WHAT A CROCODILE WAS.

Was I too sarcastic there?

The actual Story involves a man- Alias' Michael Vartan- who is temporarily stuck in rural Australia.

He's a travel writer without a ride and sees all about how crocodiles in the area are dangerous.

So, naturally, he goes on a Wildlife River Cruise.

I mean, obviously.

What could go wrong?

The Cruise goes alright for the random group of Tourists and Townies.

We get a family with a young Daughter, a snooty guy and an older couple.

They are also bothered by some locals...and Sam Worthington?!?

They go off on a side route when they spot a flare.

Their boat is attacked by an unseen creature (what could it be?) and stranded.

The group freaks out over their new situation.

Things get worse when one of the men is grabbed off-screen (and silently) by a creature.

Joined by Worthington (whose boat was also crushed), they work a plan to cross the lake.

It goes poorly and they finally see the creature- it's a giant crocodile!

Vartan comes up with a plan to anchor the crocodile with some bait.

It works long enough for the main group to get away, but the Guide- Radha Mitchell- gets grabbed.

She's surely dead, right?

Well, no.

Despite eating everyone (and everything) so far, it dragged the wounded lady to its den.

Vartan is lead to her by the dog- thank goodness they didn't use it as bait- and now has to sneak away from the apex predator!

After a serious struggle, he sets a dangerous trap for the crocodile.

It manages to stake itself through the head while trying to eat him.

In the aftermath, he takes her to be rescued and we see that he made the wall of the bar for his heroics.
The End.

A pretty good Film that maximizes the small amount of creature FX it actually has.

In total, the crocodile appears for just about 6 minutes on-screen.

This is no Jaws- that's a hard bar to reach- but they do a good job with it.

The human drama is decent enough, with all of the characters feeling pretty real. Most of them eventually get a moment or two to stand out as more than just really simple characters.

Hell, even Sam Worthington gets an arc!

The pacing of this one is interesting as it gets past the initial setup- stuck on the inlet- by about the hour mark and spends the right of the time with Vartan in the den.

My own critique is that Radha Mitchell is basically nothing but a prop after the attack.  I'm not sure how I'd have her help, but she's essentially the same as if he had to lug a briefcase out of the den.

Do something.

In any event, this one is a more balanced Film to me than Primeval, despite it making far, far less money.

Speaking of money, Worthington is not the only supporting player in this one who would go on to star in a Film that made over a billion dollars...

Next up, I go to my 'Digital Vault' for a Disney Film that is somehow not streaming.  What secret is hiding in The Woods?  Stay tuned...

Tubi Thursday: Fear of Clowns 2 (2007)

 In 2011, I reviewed the Original (here).  I had no idea that there was a Sequel.
Well, it came out in 2007.

In 2024, I finally get around to it.  Enjoy...

To recap (if you can't be bothered to read the previous Review), this lady had a Fear of Clowns, but also only painted them.

After 2 pointless sub-plots, she escaped this muscle-bound Clown who wanted to kill her.

Some vague amount of time later, he's escaped and he's made some friends.  They should put that on the Poster!

The Cop is also suffering from some rare (made up Brain Disease) to boot.  The pay-off is pretty much nill.

Alongside the Orderly (who's along for the ride), he gets two other Patients to go full Bozo.

They do look alright...it's just a shame that the 'Three Clowns' Plot is as useful or interesting as the Three Jokers Plot.

The Film replaces Sub-Plot Padding with, well, Slasher Film Padding.

We get Cop freaking out Scenes.
We get more random Characters that exist only to die.

We also get a whole section involving some Farmers and this lady from *Adult* Films.

This is enough to get it to 85 minutes, but is it good?

No.  It's not.

*****

I'm happy to see that my lack of excitement to get around to watching this was pretty warranted.  I said that the original was 'decent.'

This one had potential- more killers, more action and more stakes.
This one didn't deliver.

One of the three Clowns is killed off in only his 2nd appearance, while the surviving one just kind of wanders 2 Scenes behind everyone until the Finale.

This is also what is referred to as 'An Idiot Story.'  In short, it only works because everyone is an idiot.
For instance, our Hero plans a trap for the Clown...but his buddies don't actually prepare- at all.
They literally leave their guns in their cars and don't have them for the Finale.

Chalk one up for Something Deadpool Can Do, But Other Films Can't.

There are glimpses of a good- or at least better- and more entertaining Film here.  Adult Film Star, for instance, gets cut in half (in one swing, mind you) and they *almost* pull off the effect, with her slowly 'realizing' her situation.

I wanted to go 'Wow- this one is an improvement.'  Sadly, it's not and most of the Cast have done little since.

On the plus side, I did check and there's no 3rd Film.  As such, I won't be getting another surprised in 2037...

A low-budget Horror Film with a decent idea behind.  Sadly, it is confusing, drawn and out and underwhelming.  Boo?

Tubi Thursday: Dead Silence (2007)

 After being happily surprised by James Wan's recent Film, I figured that his least successful Film deserved a shot.

Is it better than what I've thought it would be for the last 16 years?

A young couple gets a mysterious mannequin in the mail.

Unless your Uncle is Jeff Dunham, just burn it already.

Shortly after they get it, a mysterious figure attacks and kills her.

He comes home and finds the body, but also hears her voice.

If you like the freaky visual of the bodies, they 'borrowed' it from The Ring/Ringu.

Since there was no sign of break-in, they suspect the Husband.

There's also zero physical evidence, no murder weapon, no way that he could have done it AND he had an alibi...so they let him go.

This is the same Cop from Saw II, so you know what his success rate is going to be.

He goes home to bury his wife...which is odd when you consider that she's not from the same Town.

He meets up with his Father, who is...I mean, are we really not seeing through this?

Alright then, pretend you don't see the twist now.

We eventually learn via extended flashbacks that a creepy old Ventriloquist lady was accused of killing a kid, lynched and is now back as an evil spirit.

Does this Town have an Elm Street?

Also this part is WAY BETTER than everything else.  Just make this part the Movie!!!

After lots of wandering around in the dark, jump scares, random musical stings and joining back up with the Detective, our Hero confronts the evil woman.

There's no Sequel, so don't go planning his next Birthday Party.

To find out what happens, stream it now.  You have 6 days left.

A pretty lackluster Film, if it wasn't for the Soundtrack.  It sure is loud.  It sure is booming.  It sure tells you that things are happening.

The actual Film is tinted blue and washed out, so...yea.  I hope that trend is good and dead in 2023.

The whole premise is a bit half-baked, isn't it?  There's a Witch...and a Ventriloquist Dummy...and possessed people and...can you pick an idea?  Leigh Whannel has talked shit about the process of Writing the Film, having it changed and then...Writing it again.

So did his original Script sound less generic and was it less muddled?

Can she kill you if you don't scream?
Does she just abide by her own rule NOT TO if you stay silent?
I just have so many questions...and also no real interest in the answers.

Look- if you want to make an evil Witch Film, make it.  If you want to make a killer Ventriloquist Dummy Film, make it.

When you try to blend two things together, it is just...not convincing.  At all.

A Film with promise and a decent tagline to sell it.  It barely made any money in Theaters though, so you see how that worked out.