Tubi Thursday: Scream and Scream Again (1970)

 Continuing our break from Giant Monster Films and China, let's stick to the '70s.

Here's a Film with a good Director, three Stars...and a Plot that barely uses any of them.

It is...

A man runs during the Stop and Start Credits.  Just run them or don't, Movies!

He wakes up in a Hospital and they cut off one of his legs.
Enough of him now...until we randomly cut to him later to show him losing more limbs.

The Police investigate a Murder.  The woman is found dead, but there's no blood!

Where's Count Yorga?
Is that Racial Profiling?

We sometimes cut to a fictitious European Country where the Police go after some people, attack another and then Peter Cushing arrives.

He tells the man behind the attack that he'll deal with him later...and he's promptly killed.

As the Police case goes on, we are shown that Christopher Lee is the Captain.

He doesn't do much...but he's here.

At least he's not dead yet.

The killer turns out to be this cross between Keith Moon and Mick Jagger.

He kills another girl and is caught in a Police Sting Operation.

He escapes...for the world's second longest Police Chase.  He's no OJ.

He shows off some super strength and endurance, biting off his own hand to escape some cuffs.  After another long chase (this one on foot), he ends up diving in a Vat of Acid...owned by Vincent Price (who's only shown up once- briefly)

It ended better for Rick & Morty.

How do these Plots- a Fascist Country, a Vampire killer, the amputations and the acid- connect?

Well, Scientists like Price are making robots (not the last time either) to replace us with our stupid, stupid minds (stupid!).

He...ends up fighting the Police's Doctor and then the bad Foreigner...before he meets Lee (for their only Scene) and dips himself in the acid too.

Oh and Lee is secretly an Alien- at least in the Book.

Did that info dump at the end seem like allot?  Well, it was just like that in the Film.

This one is...hard to rank.  On one hand, it has a complex narrative that eventually (mostly) comes together.  On the other hand, it takes the whole Film to make sense...and it still barely does.

It is a Film that I probably won't forget for quite a while though.

It's a shame that the Film used a scandalous Title (it was originally called 'The Disjointed Man') and three Horror Icons in random, small Roles to draw in the Audience.  It's still not a terrible Film.  Just don't expect straight Horror- it is more a Conspiracy Film that would be all the rage in the coming years.

See it with an open mind, but be prepared for lots of long, drawn out shots.  Just take them in...

A mis-marketed Film (by design) with is confusing as all get out.  It's...something.

Tubi Thursday: The Crimson Cult (aka The Curse of the Crimson Altar)

 If a Film is historically-notable, does that make it good?

I sure hope so in this case.  This is...

In a Cold Open, this man is surrounded by a bunch of weirdos- including a mostly-topless lady with a whip and a guy holding a goat-, signs a contract and then is branded by them.

Also this random lady dies.  
She's actually too random and disconnected to even count as a Poor Bastard of Cinema!

A man gets a strange letter from his brother, who's been missing for about a week.
Was it that guy in the Intro?

He starts a weird relationship with this lady, where she keeps telling him to 'go to his room' and he keeps trying to get invited into hers.

Ah, '60s...why?

After a good 15 minutes, one of our top-billed Stars appears.  It is Christopher Lee, who has disowned the Film many times and says that he thought that this would be his last chance to work with Boris Karloff.

He was right, mind you.

He's a Witch Expert, which explains the tiny Napoleon and Josephine figures...right?

The Town is celebrating the day that they burned a Witch- played by Barbara Steele.

What's really going on?

Another expert- a top billed Karloff in his final British Film- gives them the usual Exposition Dump about the Witch.

He's great, even if he's delivering cliché dialog in a wheelchair.

Weirdly, his appearance is teased in Dialog as the duo joke about the look of the House being 'out of one of those cheesy Horror Films' as they 'expect Boris Karloff to show up any minute.'

Weird choice for a Film that is not remotely-comedic.

As it turns out, you can't trust Christopher Lee in one of those Films.  Shocking- I know.

Also isn't that guy on the left from Undertale?

To find out the mystery, stream the Film now.

It's not bad.  It's not great.

Shockingly, picking Films mostly at random doesn't yield consistently-good or bad results.  I can't believe it!

Crimson has some neat ideas.  It doesn't exactly do much with them, but that's still something.  Like Witchcraft, it just doesn't have much going to to feel original.  Like The Black Sleep, it has some good, name Actors in it with little to do.  Seriously, look who's here...

Barbara Steele
Christopher Lee
Boris Karloff
Michael Gough

There's not much to say here, really.  The Film is fine.  It looks nice in HD.  It has good Acting.  It just doesn't have a really good Twist to justify the pretty-nothing Plot.  The most you get is one guy you think is evil turning out not to be.

At least I got a reminder of the fact that you can't keep a good Alfred down.

A perfectly-watchable Film, but nothing more.  It has so many great Actors...and so little to offer otherwise.

Tubi Thursday: Night of the Big Heat (1967)

As everywhere has record high temperatures (but, of course, Climate Change 'is not real'), I find that people need to know why.

Well, this Film from 1967 may have the answer.  It's...

The Fara Island (a real place in Scotland) has some strange weather. 

While it's freezing everywhere else, it is 90 degrees and rising!

So, naturally, this Film was shot in the Winter...where it was actually cold...while they acted like it was super hot.

Strange lights seem to show up and kill people.  I can probably get a Poor Bastards of Cinema induction (or three) out of this.

The heat keeps rising.

A Scientist (Christopher Lee- getting top billing over Peter Cushing for the first time) is up to something.

Oh and a Writer had an affair and now the lady followed him home (at the worst time).

As day turns to night (as the Title implies), things only get worse...

More people die.

Communication is cut off (since heat causes static?!?).

More off-screen events- such as a landing with lights- also occurs.

What is actually going on?!?

Well, strange creatures have come to Earth, following our satellite pinging back to the source.

They create immense light and heat, killing off people and raising the temperature of the Island (and soon the World!).

So, after all of that, a rain storm causes them to short out and die.

Yep.  

The End.

A solid Premise.  A nice location.  A good Cast.  Tension galore.

So what went wrong?

The Film, in a nutshell, is melodramatic when it needs to be serious and pretty cheap when it needed to splurge a bit.  Shall I explain?

The B-Plot with the former Lover showing up and all that was, well, pretty unnecessary.  Was it the best way to build tension between the Characters?  No.  There were plenty of other ways.  This Plot also keeps intruding on things and not in a way that prolongs the Main Plot in a good way.

The other issue is that the payoff and execution of the creatures is...not great.  There seems to have been a trend around this time of making weird, silly-looking creatures.  For instance, 1966's Island of Terror has very similar creatures, but it has Peter Cushing as the Lead and not just a 'Guest Star.'  Little blobs sliding around are just not as scary or interesting as people seemed to think back then.

So, in summary, this is one of those Films where the first 2/3 is pretty interesting as you see the build-up.  When you get the pay-off, it's kind of laughable.  Oh well.  

Don't get so mad at me now that you just see red.... 

A pretty fun and tense Film, even if it gets sillier the more things are explained.  As always, getting cheap when it counts dooms this to be a pretty run-of-the-mill UK Sci-Fi Thriller. 

New Streaming: Creepshow- 'Night of the Living Late Show'

 As we close out Season 2 of Creepshow, we go out with a- gasp- full Episode Story.

Can my 2022 attention span follow a whole 44-minute Episode?

It's...

A man has invented a large, but impressive device.

It's a full-on VR device (like a tanning bed) that lets you feel like you're in a Film.
You can also somehow interact with it, since, shut up.

Rather than going into, for instance, an Episode of Baywatch, he chooses to go into his favorite Horror Film- Horror Express.

That's...um, okay.

It's not a bad Film, but...oh, it's Public Domain, isn't it?

He's WAY too into it, however, as he has an attraction to its Star- Sylvia Tortosa- and, well, acts on it.
Don't ask how it works!

One- the mix of her Footage and a stand-in (see below) is pretty seamless.
Two- a quick Google Search shows that she was in a Film where she played a Cabaret Dancer AND there's no Monster in it.

Bad pick, Justin!

His put-upon Fiance thinks that he's too into the whole thing and tries to end things...in the Film.

This ends poorly.

To see how it truly ends, stream the Episode now.

A nice, longer-length Episode.  The runtime really gives this one room to breath, which is nice.  The short and succinct ones are good too, but, well, succinct.

In this case, you get more time with the Leads, more time setting things up and more time in the actual Scenario.  The Plot is quite good, so thanks Dana Gould.  It feels believable that someone could be obsessed with one Film.  I mean, I'd used it to hang out with Dr. Phibes and just hear that Clockwork Band play personally.

While most- if not all- Creepshow tales are one-and-dones, I'd kind of like to see a follow-up to this one.  What happens with the survivors and the device?  What other classic Films could you blend people into like Kung Pow: Enter the Fist did?  It has to be better than this fake- as far as I know- Night of the Living Dead VR game...

Next time, we jump to Season 3 and see what is on board.  I'm guessing gruesome deaths and monsters.  See you then...

'70s Class: The Creeping Flesh (1973)

 A good Film...even if it never quite becomes what it promises.  This is The Creeping Flesh, a 1973 Horror Film with a great Title.  Is that all though?  Well, it features the all-star duo of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing.  At this point, the pair could have made a commercial for Peanut Butter and it would have been pretty good.  Not as good as Vincent Price selling Monster Vitamins though.  It's Plot is kind of weird.  I know, you were expecting a Love Story with this Title.  It involves a strange skeleton, a scheming brother, the biological root of all evil and a bar fight.  Will it all make sense?  Yes, but its more fun to describe the Movie like that.  As you'll see, however, the Film introduces a big, interesting element...and diverts elsewhere for quite a while.  To find out how it all plays out, read on...

A Doctor (Cushing) is trying to convince a fellow Doctor that he's discovered a source of evil.

To explain it, he has to tell a story...

***psst- you already figured out the twist, didn't you?  Don't SPOIL it for the rest***

Cushing brings back a large skeleton from Papa New Guinea.

It's big and freaky, but what other secrets does it hold?

Him and his Assistant study the bones and discover some weird things about it.

The DNA is different and there's an old myth/story involving evil giants from the past.

Was it buried to keep it from coming back?!?

A finger on the skeleton is exposed to water and the flesh begins to grow back!

That...can't be good.

Well, forget about the weird skeleton...since we have to deal with Mental Illness.

We learn about how Cushing's Wife went crazy and he hid the truth about her from the Daughter.
When she starts to question things (after going into the forbidden room), he decides to test his 'cure for evil' made from the DNA of the fleshy finger.

Why not?!?

Shockingly, she goes crazy and all sorts of chaos ensues.

What role will Cushing's conniving brother (Lee) play?
Can he save his Daughter?
Will the skeleton be reborn in the flesh?

It all comes to a hand...er, head on a rainy night!

The creature gets some kills in, shows up on screen for like 5 seconds and, shock of all shocks, that guy in the beginning wasn't a colleague.

Nope- nobody believes Cushing's tale and he's locked up in Lee's Asylum.  Dull surprise.  The End.

A good Film that kind of loses its focus.  As I've said before, it's often seen as a 'bad thing' to suggest that a Film should get a Remake.  Well, here I am suggesting just that.  No offense to anyone involved in this Film- especially since most of them are long-dead- but it could be done better.  The set-up: strong and enticing.  What will happen if this creature starts to be reborn?  I can't wait to...hear more about Cushing's crazy wife and how it affected him.  Yea?  The family drama with him, the Daughter and Lee is also good...for another Film.  The whole obsession with 'evil DNA' and stuff is good fodder- also for another Film.  Don't give me a giant skeleton and then make it like a D-Plot in your Film!  Was I expecting an '80s-style Creature Feature?  No.  For one thing, it was like 10 years too early.  I just expected a Movie about, you know, creeping flesh and all that.  That said, the Movie is still well-made.  That whole 'good Film' thing is going to change next, so just hang on...

Next up, I cover a legit contender for worst Horror Film in the last 20 years.  It takes a Colony to suck this bad.  Stay tuned...

'70s Trash?: Captain America II- Death Too Soon

 Ah, it's a New Year and I'm ready for new disappointments.  This is Captain America II: Death Too Soon, the (obviously) Sequel to the 1979 TV Pilot.  Why did it get 2 Pilots?  I should probably look that up.  In the meantime, what has changed?  Well, they randomly switched out their Lady Scientist and hoped that nobody would notice.  We did (obviously)!  Otherwise, this is a Sequel in every way.  I still don't know why they got this second chance, other than the ability for Universal to market the TV Movie as an actual Film overseas (like they did with Spider-Man and was done with Batman in the '60s).  Just think, Europe was sending Films by Francois Truffaut and other Arthouse Directors and we were sending them Captain America II!  We get some great, but also dubious Casting as we see Reb Brown and Christopher Lee teamed up for the first time.  The duo would reunited for another II Film- Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf.  Is this Film that bad?  To find out, read on...

Out at Muscle Beach, Steve Rogers is drawing an old Lady when he learns about some Muggers.

He arrives on his super-bike to take them down, though he does so in silly fashion.

First- he takes out one with the shield, which looks like it wouldn't knock over a gingerbread house.

Second- he chases a Dune Buggy ON FOOT rather than use his Bike.

The bad guy here is Miguel (just Miguel!) who is played by...Christopher Lee.

They throw in a bit about how nobody knows who he truly is, so it is not quite cultural appropriation.

Besides, the only fake I can stand is Fake Reb Brown from Howling V.

His plan is to make a kidnapped Scientist create a super-aging formula to hold Cities hostage for a ransom.

To find him, Steve has to follow some leads and go to...Oregon?!?

The Town is not friendly and is clearly hiding a secret.  That leads to some fight scenes to thankfully break up the monotony of Steve working on a Farm and romancing some lady.

Meanwhile, Lee hides out in a Prison and gets the formula to work... 

To prove the veracity of his claims (which are questioned loud enough for an impossible phone hack to hear), he has his people gas the City of...Portland.

Yes, the thriving utopia of Portland is where you should target and not, say, Los Angeles or NYC.
To expensive to shoot there, I guess.

We get far less motorcycle action in this one, but we do get a big stunt in the form of Cap jumping off of a Dam...which I guess was easier than just jumping OVER THE BAD GUYS.

Oh and he retrieves the bike with no issue too.

He eventually finds proof that the Town was the first test area for the formula.  Thanks to a dead Sheep, he knows the truth.

Meanwhile, a Panther given to the good guys to prove Miguel's formula works ages up, given us the concept I hope to use again- Time Lapse Panther.

I'll make that a Meme, dammit!

After finally suiting up again to take down the Prison, Cap must first face off with...dogs?  Really?

He breaks out and chases Lee down...for ages.  It's a good 5-10 minutes of Cap on his silly Bike-Hang Glider combo (ironic given Lee escaping Bond in a Car-Plane combo).

They finally face off and it is pretty anti-climactic.

Cap smashes the bottle of super-aging formula on Lee and he dies.  All is well...but no Series.  The End.

An improvement, but also a step back.  First off, the positive.  Aside from the silly helmet (there due to US Highway Safety Administration apparently), I like the suit.  Yes, it doesn't compare to the MCU one.  For a 1970s Cap outfit, I like it.  Just ditch the helmet when you're not on the bike.  Also be on the bike less- it's just silly.  Right- the positives!  I like that Cap is more proactive as a Hero in this one.  I like that they show off his super-powers in a pretty silly way.  Basically, there's a knock-off Six Million Dollar Man Sound Effect for him bending bars or throwing people.  Speaking of which, there's a funny bit where he beats up some evil Dock Workers...who just might be regular Dock Workers.  Oh well!  Lee does his best with the limited role, playing it straight and being menacing enough.  The Doctor and new Scientist Lady are sidelined to Lab Scenes and the like, which is disappointing.  The big problem- the Plot.  They make Cap hide out and look around a small Town.  It just turns into a pretty generic Story that could be featuring any number of Characters, but especially The Incredible Hulk.  Hell, if you want something that clearly followed this, you have The Greatest American Hero, which did this quite often.  As a bonus, New Scientist Lady is Connie Selleca, who was on that Show just 2 years later!  The Film starts out with promise, but soon becomes kind of boring and generic.  Speaking of which, here's them reusing the footage of Cap driving his Van around during the Intro (the one that was destroyed and rebuilt differently)...

Next time, I try to start making a dent in my random DVD pile.  What treasure or trash will I pick out next?  Stay tuned...

60's Class: Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965)

 A classy bit of Horror with a bit for everyone.  

This is Dr. Terror's House of Horrors, a 1965 Film by Amicus Films.  

Right off the bat, we have issues.  The main one- there is no House.  As the Poster (below) shows you, they are on a train.  It may be Joe Biden's 2nd Home, but a Train is not a House!  

On the plus side, we have many positives.  

The Film was directed by Freddie Francis, a big-time name in Horror, mostly for his Hammer stuff.  Next we have our Lead- Peter Cushing.  Even when he is slumming it in Hammer's last Films (The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires and Shatter), he was still class.  

Hell, he was still class in Biggles, the tale of a WWI Fighter Pilot that had to become 90% Back to the Future to be sold in the 1980s. 
Oh, and Donald Sutherland is in it too.  

The Plot involves a group of men on a train being told their fortune by the titular Doctor.  Will they like what they hear?  Will it help them?  

The Film was designed to bring back the Horror Anthology Film and it sure as hell worked.  Oddly, it was then overshadowed by other Films in the Sub-Genre like Creepshow.  Oh well.  

To find out more about this Cult Classic, read on...

A diverse group of men- including Lee and Sutherland- all sit in a Train Car.  

A strange man- Dr. Terror- joins them and tells their fortunes, even as Lee scoffs at the whole thing.

The first story involves one of the men going back home to restore a Family Estate.  

However, it has some secrets and people end up dead.

He won't like who turns out to be evil...

In the second story, the man returns home, only to discover a strange and aggressive plant.

As he works to be rid of it, it seems to work to be rid of him!  They even kill the dog!

In the third tale, the Musician visits 'the Islands' and learns a Voodoo Ritual Song.  He's told not to use it in any way.

Guess what he does.  You got it.
So dumb of him...

In the fourth story, the skeptic- Lee- is given his fortune.  

He will get into a feud with an Artist who he critiqued 'too harshly' (Michael Gough!).

Fate works its magic, and he ends up being pursued by the disembodied hand of the Artist!

Eh, still makes more sense than a Cartoonist being given a robotic hand in that Michael Caine Film.

In the final story, Sutherland (who was paid only the modern equivalent of $10,000) is a Doctor who brings home his new, French wife.

Unfortunately, a rash of Vampire attacks also occurs, and he's led to believe that she is the guilty party.
It... doesn't end well.

All of them are given the same final card- Death.  Of course, Death is Tarot Readings actually doesn't mean that you're going to die, but Movie.

They are told that the only way to escape their fates- which is mostly death- is to die.  

The train lets them off at an empty Station...

...and Doctor Terror turns out to be Death.  They apparently died while they were in the car.

How a train derailment ONLY killed them is anyone's guess.

As a bonus, the final shot is apparently lost on actual Film, so enjoy the sudden onset VHS quality.  Weird.  The End.

A solid, well-deserved Cult Classic.  The Film features a diverse set of stories, locations and themes.  Some of these can feel very similar.  In this case, they keep things fresh.  One Film features a Vampire, while another features killer plants.  They manage to give you a diverse bit of location work too, from a House to a Manor to the big City.  

Every story feels different, but the shared Director keeps it uniform enough.  Cushing does great at being menacing, while Lee plays a great sourpuss.  Seeing them play so different from their Van Helsing/Dracula dynamic is neat to see.  The pair's work outside of Dracula is a bit underrated.  

The F/X work is nice, but nothing super-impressive.  The disembodied hand work is nice though.  If I had to pick a favorite, it is probably the Plant one.  Weird pick- I know.  It's a bit silly, but it spoke to me.  More obvious choices would be the Hand one- due to Lee and Gough- or the final one with Sutherland.  What can I say- I'm weird.  

It is nice to see a Film like this preserved after over 50 years and to see how well it holds up.  The worst part for me is maybe the somewhat-cliche and confusing ending, but that's not too bad either.  

Seeing this Film has taught me a lot.  

For instance, did you know that this is not the ONLY Dr. Terror's House of Horrors?  No joke- it was already made, albeit differently- in 1943!  I guess I'll have do that one after Dead of Night, won't I? (Which I finally did in 2023)

Next time, I cover a Film with a very, very similar Title.  Is imitation the sincerest form of flattery?  Stay tuned...