Lost in Translation: Return of the Living Dead- Part II

 I love Japan for many reasons.

For one thing, they used to make these crazy Posters full of bright colors and random images.

So what happens when the Film is also crazy?

You get this Poster for the Sequel to Return of the Living Dead...

Yowza.

Just look at this.

It's every color you can think, lots of shapes and it's very, very busy.

Fun, but busy.

Here's the original...

Brighter is better with stuff like this, no?  

Lost in Translation?: Return of the Living Dead

Italy loved Zombies in the '80s.  The World joined them in that love.

One of the more famous ones was Return of the Living Dead.

How did this get sold in Italy then?  Let's see...

Mystique?

I'm kidding, but you must see that too.

Is that Tar Man in the back?  He doesn't look right...

As always...

The deep blues and subtle reds really make it pop for me.  It may not be related much to the Film, but I love this Poster- either version.

Lost in Translation: Night of the Living Dead (Part 5)

It's Halloween!  In honor of that day, here's all of the Night of the Living Dead Cover Art that I didn't use...

First up, a weird-looking foreign one for the 1990 Remake (hence why it was excluded)...

 That's...informative?

Next up, the official Box Art being used in lazy re-releases of Night of the Living Dead.  It's...something.

Two points for trying, but this one has you beat....

Silly- yes.  Somewhat misleading- yeah.  Featuring no shots of the movie- you bet!

Lastly, we have to close with some implied nudity among the Zombies...

So the world is blue, skeletons rise from the dead too and this lady stepped into a small batch of fog.  Right.

To be fair, this is a naked Zombie Lady in Night.  That's not her though- just for the record.

Enjoy your Halloween and remember that is only one version of 1968's Night of the Living Dead...even if there are about 600 different Covers for it.

Repost of the Living Dead: Night of the Living Dead (1990)

***Since people love Re-Dubbing the original 'Night of the Living Dead,' I figured that I can 'Re-Dub my own Review of the Remake.  Why not***

This was a review that was intended to be in October during my pure horror month, but it is now.  So that's where we are. This film has sort of an odd place in history, as it comes over twenty years after the original film, nine years before the big re-release and another seven years before the 3-D remake in 2006. This is not counting all the many re-dubbing mixes of the film for 'comedic value.' At least the Rifftrax DVD offers you the chance to watch it with or without commentary.   Oh and their live show is tonight.  Go see it (unless this review is being read much later.  The other big thing to note is that the film was directed by Tom Savini, who has only directed one other movie (in 2004) since this. I'm sure that there is a story there. Well, enough talk- more zombie killing. This is...

Do I really need to tell you the plot of this movie? It's the same, really. Well, one thing or two is different about it...

-Tony Todd plays our black lead. This sort of goes against the casting logic of the first film (casting a black man just because he was the best actor), but okay.  In fairness, he is also the best actor here too.

-The lead heroine does not go comatose and stay that way for 80% of the film.

After a talking to by Todd, she actually becomes assertive and strong. This feels like Savini did this on purpose, especially if you hear the way Todd's speech goes.

-The man who plays the husband from the cellar is less one-note than the original actor, although he is mostly rage and dissent.

-Naturally, the zombie make-up is great. Plus, no CG blood. Hurray!

-One small plot-hole: our heroine loses her coke-bottle glasses in the initial attack and never regains them. However, she is still a crack-shot for the adventure...somehow.

I should try that out...and I just shot my foot.  Moving on...

-The way the young couple dies is less stupid than in the original. This time, they can't find the key to the gas tank and try to shoot it off. Later, our hero finds the key and feels really bad about it.

-The big thing is that the ending is changed. Tony Todd's character gets bitten and turned, getting killed when the hick farmers show up. Instead, our heroine shoots the older guy and covers it by saying that he was a zombie. This is because he abandons Todd's character earlier. See- you can use different, ironic twists for your endings, makers of 2005's War of the Worlds and 2006's The Wicker Man!

The movie was good, although it was not so different that it necessarily warranted a remake. Mind you, there are some noticeable improvements in the writing and acting. The thing you will notice most about it is the use of color and the gore effects. That's fine and good, but how many people were complaining about either of them in regards to the original? The direction is fine, but nothing really stands out about it that makes you either go 'man, that guy should never work again' or 'that guy is great!' Fun fact for you though: this movie co-stars Bill Moseley and the 3-D remake features Sid Haig. It is interesting to look at this movie in comparison to the video game 'Left 4 Dead' and see just how similar the black character is to Todd here. If you have never seen any of the Dead films (some of you must exist somewhere), this is not a bad place to start. Of course, anything is better than Night of the Living Bread. Yes, that is a real film title.

Up next, the teaser from before.  I don't feel like re-typing it.  Stay tuned...

Lost in Translation: Night of the Living Dead (Part 4)

In honor of Rifftrax Live!: Night of the Living Dead tonight (go see it!), here's something appropriately-silly.  It's Japan's redemption round!

Here's Tarman!  Actually, he's from a different John Russo film.

So yeah, I have no idea what that's supposed to be.

Good job, Japan!

***After Rifftrax Live!: Night of the Living Dead, I now know what the face is from.  It's a dead lady's corpse that they show for approximately 10 seconds in the film.  That's...appropriately-random.***

Lost in Translation: Night of the Living Dead (Part 3)

*Full Disclosure: I'm not 100% sure whether or not this is actually for the Original or the 1990 Remake*

Now it's Japan's time to shine.  Let's see what you've got, Land of Crazy...

The Zombies are coming...and they've politely filed into this long hallway for you.  They may not have brains, but they are polite.

While this is good, I was expecting something more.  I don't know, maybe a UFO or Godzilla.  Oh well.

Japan will get a second shot next week.  I think they'll hit that one out of the park...

Lost in Translation: Night of the Living Dead (Part 2)

Fooled you- I went German!

So yeah, here's a poster that says...something.

It's been awhile since I saw Night (and two weeks from when I'll see it again), but I don't remember long-nailed monsters.

Actually, there's a movie with that- Living Dead Girl.  It was a French Zombie film made over a decade later.

Yes, it was also a Rob Zombie song.  Nerds.

So yeah, did they make a film for the wrong movie again?  Silly Germans.

Lost in Translation: Night of the Living Dead (Part 1)

With October upon us and the imminent debut of 'Rifftrax Live!: Night of the Living Dead' (on the 24th!), it's time to highlight some of the more interesting Foreign Box Art designs for the 1968 Classic...

First up, we tackle the French...

I'd say that the implication that a woman was going to be ravished by Zombies was ridiculous, but...there are a few films about that.

The best part: a glimpse of the original Poster in the background.  It's like 'Yo- we're here too.'

I've got more to share throughout the Month.  Which Country will be next?  Germany?  Japan?  Probably that one...but still wait and see.  Stay tuned...

Wrapping Things Up: The Return of the Living Dead

Please don't hate me, Internet!  1985's The Return of the Living Dead is considered a cult classic by just about everyone.  I'm not here to dispute that.  I am, however, going to talk about it since I've already covered the subsequent four films.  I'm all about being a completionist, after all.  If you don't know about the series, here's the gist of it: gas makes zombies and jokes ensue.  There's more to the story to that, but I think it's a pretty good summary.  It's an interesting mix of reality and fantasy, as it implies that Night of the Living Dead was based on real events.  So much for a crossover between them.  Mind you, Halloween is shown as a film in Halloween III, so I guess anything goes.  The point is that this series takes its own path, although it does go into silly territory by the fourth and fifth films, just like Romero's series (Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead).  In Dan O'Bannon's hands, the film manages to work in a lot of ways that it shouldn't.  To find out more, read on...

The gas that can reanimate the dead gets free thanks to one guy being an idiot and slapping the canister.  It's the end of the world as we know it and...it's all due to you being a moron.

If a naked, yellow man ever runs at me, that's probably the face that I'll make.  Yowza!

Tar Man is here, making his first appearance.  Look at that- he actually is kind of important here.  Who would have guessed?

Linea Quigley brings a certain thing to this movie.  If only I could point them out...without stars everywhere.

Oddly, being exposed to the gas in the beginning slowly kills the two men and turns them into zombies.  I don't follow that science one bit...but I'm probably not supposed to.

Another key aspect of this zombie film that's different- zombies talk.  They seem pretty talkative actually.  Yes, they do say 'brains' a lot, but they also have a pretty big vocabulary.

My favorite scene- the Coroner being chased by a leg-less zombie, played here by a midget.  That's random...and I love it!  Why doesn't this 'guy' get more screen-time?

The remaining cast manage to get back to one of the film's four locations- budget limitations galore!- and all seems well.  I'm sure that they'll be just...

...dead.  On the plus side, they won't come back as zombies...right?  The End.

You're still the undead one.  The plot of this movie is fun, fresh and frenetic.  Alliterations aside, the movie makes the most of its silly premise.  They strain things a bit early on when they get into details about how the film is different from reality, but the story hits its stride soon enough.  I don't quite get why they were trying to be so precise about a fictitious narrative and a made-up story within the movie.  When the movie really gets going, the site gags and gore are top-notch.  As anyone who's read any of my writing before knows, I' m all about practical effects.  You may also know that I'm a major stickler for details and can't spot wires from a mile away.  I didn't really notice any major gaffes or effects mishaps here, so kudos to the filmmakers there.  The acting is quite good here, although it leans more towards comedy for certain characters.  Broad stereotypes aside, I loved the characters who were very 'matter of fact' like John Gulager's Owner and the Coroner.  They're like 'Well, zombies are trying to kill us- what do we do now?'  I'd like to think that I'd be 'that guy' in a zombie apocalypse, but I'd probably be the guy who locks his friends outside.  Sorry, theoretical people.  The bottom line: this movie is a classic.  It may not appeal to everyone with its silly comedy, but I liked it most out of the whole series.  For the record though, I still don't hate Part II- sue me!  Take us away, ironic lying...

Next up, the year-end review of a British Horror film.  Oddly, it's set around Christmas, despite the title.  Stay tuned...

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Raiders of the Living Dead

Months and months after covering this film, I found the poster online and just had to share it for context.  Here it be...

They sure do put a lot of focus on that laser gun, don't they?  It's a freaking Laserdisc player!  The poster also doesn't tell you that 90% of the film is shot in day-for-night!

To see the actual film's review, go here.

Next up, a film poster that combines an ancient, lost city and porn.  This can't fail, right?  Stay tuned...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Day of the Dead (2004)

In the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead, suburban life is shattered when our heroine's husband is bitten by a zombie girl and turns.  Fortunately, she gets to her car, although he's still in pursuit...

"Oh look," Zombie Husband thinks, "Someone who's not in the car."

"It sure is a nice day to get the paper," random woman says, "Hey- who's that guy covered in blood!"

"Oh God, he's killing me," the woman cries out.

Meanwhile, our heroine doesn't even bother looking back.  That's cold, bitch!

Granted, this woman was probably going to die from the zombie outbreak soon enough.  However, it's only due to our heroine's actions that her zombie husband was led right to her.  Nice job, lady.

As a side note, she doesn't figure out until an hour into the film that being bitten turns you...which is odd when this happens to her husband right at the beginning.  You're a nurse, right?

Next up, one poor character is just tormented, abused and just generally screwed over in a film.  Hell, they even get him after the film actually ends!  Stay tuned...

Leftovers of the Dead: Day of the Dead (2008)

Are you really necessary?  I'm sorry, but there's only one reason to remake Day of the Dead.  As Romero himself as stated, the grand scale of the film was not able to be achieved due to budgetary constraints.  So, if you're going to spend $200 million to make a film about a proper, world-wide zombie plague, I'm game.  Unfortunately, that is not the case here.  Instead, The Taurus group- who apparently won Romero's film rights in a card game- make another film.  Hopefully it will be better than Day of the Dead 2 or Creepshow 3.  Incidentally, Day of the Dead 2 was made before this movie!!!  By the way, if you hoped that the remake of the third part of Romero's original Dead trilogy would ignore the others, then you're in luck!  Steve Miner is here as well, proving that some people should stop making films in 1980!  Before I say too much, I'll tell you that this review will be relatively SPOILER-free.  Like last time, I want to showcase some differences, give you the overall plot and whatever else pisses me off here.  Put away your Mexican face-paint, because we're going to a different...

* Our lead is a very-miscast Mena Suvari, playing a Soldier who returns home to control a plague.  The reason for this is going to be silly.

* Ving Rhames is on board- not as a recurring character from 2004's Dawn of the Dead though.  He plays the most famous character from the original film...but he dies 20 minutes in and doesn't even say the famous line while being torn apart by zombies.  Why make him Colonel Rhodes then?!?

* The original film's 'Bud' is here too, only he's a Soldier who turns but doesn't attack our heroine.  Why?  Either it's because a) he's a vegetarian or b) he's in love with Mena.  Take your pick- your stupid, stupid pick.

* Right as the Third Act begins, it becomes Resident Evil.  Bright lab, zombie formula, mad scientists and all.

*  Oh yeah, a Mad TV alumni plays a super-zombie.  Please don't ask.

* Bud gets one last hurrah before the whole thing ends.  On the plus side, it ends!  The End.

You should have stayed dead!  The plot of this movie is changed a lot & it's not for a better.  Let's review, shall we?  Biological weapon gets loose and infects people, leading to an outbreak in a small, mountain town. Wait a second- you remade the wrong movie!  In case you didn't get it, this is the plot of The Crazies, a film that was actually remade in 2010.  If you guys own the rights to the film, why aren't you making it?  So much stuff here is changed and I can't think of a good reason why.  They not only have the running zombies, but they have super-zombies.  These guys run, jump and even use tools.  The silliest point, however, comes when the 'Mad TV zombie' kills a guy from a hanging vent in about ten seconds, doing all of this off-camera by the power of implied action!  It would be nice if I could say that the cast salvages this film, but I'd be lying.  Suvari is alright, but she does nothing to raise the material up.  She's never bad, but she also never does better than the material given her.  Nick Cannon, meanwhile, is Nick Cannon- 'nuff said.  There are good moments in the film, but none of it makes up for the stupid changes and questionable plot.  Take us away, pointless jump scare to close out the film...

Next up, July begins properly with the celebration of a new film.  Actually, it's a 2009 film full of C-List Actors that just came out on DVD.  Stay tuned...
 

Leftovers of the Dead: Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Please don't drag me into the debate!  Should zombies run?  Should they shamble?  I really don't care.  Either one is scary in its own way.  This debate comes to us due to 28 Days Later and today's film- the 2004 remake of Romero's 1978 classic.  This is the film that put Zack Snyder on the map, a feat continued by 300 and Watchmen.  What stands out about this film- other than the running zombies- is that a lot of things are changed.  This is no carbon copy remake, just with CG blood and better make-up.  The core of the film remains intact, but a lot of changes were made to freshen it up.  Since you all know the plot and because I don't want to spoil the film too much, I'll give you a basic overview, show you some sights and point out the changes.  Get out your zombie bike as we attempt to get some cardio on the...

* Instead of the cops, our lead hero is a nurse, who has to flee when her husband is turned.  She joins a cop (Ving Rhames) and others, heading to the Mall for safety.

* Our heroes get inside, but conflict arises between them and the Mall Cops.  They are less Paul Blart and more Observe & Report.  In other words, they don't play around!

* Director Cameo!  Snyder is the second guy from the left, protecting the President from zombies in front of a green screen...I mean, the White House.

* We get a trio of Dawn of the Dead (1978) cast members.  First, Tom Savini is the local Sheriff, which is a big change from being a biker!

* Scott Reinger shows up as a General.  Fun fact: he's the Prince of Ghor by blood.  Look it up.

* Finally, Ken Foree shows up as a Preacher who says that the 'End is Nigh.'  Considering that this was the last good remake of a Romero film, he was right!

* Things don't go well for our heroes.  I thought that playing Richard Cheese's cover of 'Down With the Sickness' would solve everything!

* The zombies are running and they are quite angry.  Rawr.

* The film also includes a Post-Credit ending that feels tacked on...because it was.  As a bonus, watch a precursor to Romero himself went to 'shot on handheld.'  The End.

Purists be damned- this is good!  The plot- as I said earlier- remains largely-intact.  The key changes make the movie feel a bit different, while still allowing you to think of it as a remake.  I like that too much CG blood wasn't tossed out there for silly effect.  While I'm still a purist, I like the angry infected.  I kind of like how there is no real explanation for the zombie uprising, save for the whole 'when there is no room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth' bit.  As a Writer, I would appreciate an actual explanation.  That said, most films make up stupid reason for zombies- see Zombi 4, Night of the Living Dead 3-D- so I can respect them not bothering.  The tone of this movie is interesting, as it tries to balance the somber moments, the tragic moments and the 'oh shit- zombies' moments.  The balance is a bit off at times, however, especially with characters like Matt Frewer- who would later be in Snyder's Watchmen- who is just there to die tragically.  Immediately following this, the film cuts to the people playing around in the mall to the aforementioned Richard Cheese song.  That wasn't jarring at all, thank you.  If you like action and zombies, check this movie out.  If you hate remakes, still give this one a shot.  By the way, the only way for zombies to travel is on horseback.  Take us away, barely-explained zombie baby...

Next up, the final Romero remake (for now).  This 2008 film botches pretty much everything and just slaps you in the face.  Stay tuned...