Forgotten Sequels: King Kong Lives (1986)

 After 10 years, is there any reason to go back to the Ape?  This is King Kong Lives, a 1986 Sequel to the infamous Dino De Laurentis Remake.  Why did it take so long?  I don't know.  The idea of doing a second King Kong Film has always been a tricky one.  We got one with Son of Kong in the same year as the classic original Film and it's...odd.  The poor little guy shows up way too late, acts goofy and then dies.  The next time we got one, it was King Kong Escapes, the follow-up to King Kong vs. Godzilla by Toho.  It features a Doctor Who- a mad Scientist- and a robot Kong!  What do we get this time?  Kong has survived the bullet wounds and massive fall.  10 years later, he's back when a lady Kong- not called Queen Kong due to that already being taken.  If you want returning Leads, well, screw you!  Instead, we get Linda Hamilton between Terminator Films and recurring TV Actor Brian Kerwin.  We get the Director of such Classics as Shaft in Africa, Sheena (Queen of the Jungle) and...the last King Kong Film.  This time, they didn't heavily-promote a giant, 'life-sized' Kong robot that didn't work.  Nope- it's just a bloke in a suit.  To find out why you may not care to remember this, read on...

So I lied a bit earlier.

The original Film's Cast does appear...in reused footage from the 1976 Film to recap it.
I bet they didn't pay them for this...

10 years later, Kong is alive...somehow.  It's important to note what won't kill him at this point for later.

For some reason, they were keeping him alive for all of this time.  I guess Science.

In Borneo, a man finds another Kong, only it is a Lady Kong.  He captures it with relative ease.

As for why it is not Skull Island, there's a throwaway line about them being 'adjacent' or something.

In America, the Scientists pay him for the Lady Kong, since they need a blood transfusion to do the operation.

Fun Fact: the Actor in the middle got a residual check of, no joke, 13 cents for this Film.  He stuck it to his copy of the Poster on the wall.

They do the transplant with minimal drama and now have to decide how to handle 2 Kongs.

They keep one in a Facility a mile away until a full habitat is built.  So, I guess Wyoming?

Naturally, King Kong escapes after some vague amount of time, attacks the Facility and rescues his Lady (Kong).

'It sure was easier carrying the last girl,' Kong must think!

Linda Hamilton and the Hunter team up to try and keep the Kongs safe from the Military.

While there, they hook up.

Unfortunately, the Military finds them all, gasses Lady Kong and takes her.  Said gas is strong enough to knock out a 50-foot Ape but, as people point out, it seems to not affect the Soldiers!

Kong escapes via a river and regains his strength- stopping to kill some rednecks along the way.

He somehow surprise-attacks the Base and rescues Lady Kong, but at what cost?

Lady Kong gives birth in a Barn during the final battle and a baby is born.

Kong dies, but his family lives on...to thankfully not make another Sequel.  The End.

A pretty silly and faux-serious Film.  The Film seems to have high ambitions.  It wants you to feel for the Kongs.  It wants you to hope for them to succeed.  Oddly, it wants you to hate the Military, at least in this Story's context.  I guess I'm just too used to Michael Bay's Recruitment/Transformer Films.  One can make some parallels between this Film's bad guy General and the one played by Samuel L. Jackson in Skull Island.  Jackson is better and feels more 'unwound' in that one, but it is still a comparison all the same.  The big problem here is the Effects.  While the Kong suits look fine, they never make you believe that you're watching anything other than 2 people in Suits.  Hell, the top-billed Actors in the Credits are the people in said Suits!  It should be noted that Lady Kong's facial work is a bit...iffy at times (see above).  Carlo Rambaldi is back doing the Suit Work here and it's not bad...but also not great.  All of the shots that are supposed to imply scale rarely work.  I'm never 'drawn in' by the Effects.  There are also some silly ones, like the bit I'm highlighting below.  In it, Kong is shown eating Alligators, but the one time we see one properly in his hand, it is clearly a baby Alligator.  Oy vey!  If the Effects work, this could be a decent Film.  As it is, it is a Film that is treated 100% seriously and tries...but fails.  It was nominated for Worst Effects in the Razzies, but only in that Category.  That kind of says it all- bad Effects sink this one.

Next time, another '80s Film with a weird combination of Genres in play.  Will an older Space Mummy Film be more fulfilling?  Stay tuned...

'90s Trash?: Congo

At long last, I see if any of this as good to me as it was in 1995.  Today's Film is Congo, a Film I haven't seen in full since it was actually in Theaters.  It's one of those 'Always on Cable sometime' Movies though.  It's like Russian Roulette with some Films- the ending is just guaranteed to be better.  

Having spent a whole $1 on this, will I get my money's worth?  

To look at Congo, you have to remember where we were when it came out.  It's based on a Michael Crichton Book and one of those made 'all of the money' just recently.  You know the one, right?  Coming off of that, a bunch of Books became Films, including Disclosure, Sphere and The 13th Warrior.  This is one of the more remembered, but also forgotten.  In fact, the Film is most famous for a Mandela Effect moment.  

It's also remembered as 'That Film with Bruce Campbell in it for 5 minutes.'  Somehow the Studio rejected him as the Lead (aw!) and gave him this tiny part instead.  

It is the Film that made you ask the question 'Which one is the real Ape and which one is the guy in a suit?'  The Plot involves a 'talking' Ape, some hidden treasure, telecom technology and Ernie Hudson.  He really steals the Movie, which is hard when you consider that he's competing with Tim Curry doing a funny accent!  

Is the Film good?  

Will I still like it?  

To find out, read on...

A Telecom Company has an expedition going to find some diamonds to something something make phones work better.

The Leader- Campbell- is seemingly-killed, although the Movie acts like you don't know that for some reason.

With that cut, he's totally dead!

The lead women- Laura Linney- goes against her Boss- 'Mitchell'- and tries to save Bruce.

As such, she buys her way onto an expedition with Not Bruce and Amy, his 'talking' monkey (using sign language to create a form of text to speech via computer).

They team up with Ernie here and Curry (a Character not in the Book) to take Amy back home...but mostly find the diamonds!

After lots of shooting and adventure, they find the hidden place known as King Solomon's Mines.  

What's it secret?

They trained Gray Gorillas to be the Guards...only to be killed by them and the City lost to History.

Of course- why didn't I think of that?!?

Linney finds the diamond to power this Film's Chekhov's Gun- a laser that cuts up the Gorillas!

They escape the Volcano- which erupts with dramatic timing- and Amy finds her home, leaving the survivors to fly away in a balloon.

Those eyes...I mean, The End.

A weird and kind of fun Film.  Is it good?  No.  The Plot is all sorts of a mess.  We have a Primatologist and Amy.  We have Linney working for a Tech Company.  We have Curry looking for a Lost City.  We have Ernie Hudson and company just trying to survive.  There's too much going on, but also not enough going on.  They rush through the last part of the Story.  

As such, they slow down a lot once they get into Africa.  Pacing is way off in this one, mostly in the middle.  They get to Africa in the first 20 minutes, but then don't get to the City until over an hour in.  Does that feel right?  

The big draw here is the Special Effects.  I'll say this- hats off to the people who made those Animatronic Apes and Suits.  That said, they are 100% not convincing.  They look interesting, but never like actual Apes of any kind.  As I said, good work at creating things- just not convincing creatures of any kind.  The evil Gorillas look neat- just not real- and terrifying.  The Plot involving them is so weird that I now really want to see a Prequel explaining it.  

Seriously, a group of people bred and trained attack Gorillas to guard a Mine- make that Movie! 

 In summary, Congo is a fun and silly Film.  If you remember it from the '90s, it won't hold up as well as a good Film...but it's just as fun.  Bonus points for a random Jimmy Buffet Cameo too.

Next time, I hop back to the '70s to see a Film related to a recent box office disappointment.  When in doubt, add more Monsters!  Stay tuned...

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Link (1986)

In defense of this one, it is the closest one to being honest.

On the flip-side, it advertises how well it did in France.  Don't tell America that!

So let's check out yet another Poster for Link...

While a bit odd, I do like this one.  It doesn't lie about the Plot for the most part.

That said, Link's pose is not exactly scary here...

This didn't get too much touch-up, but I did play with Blurring a little.  It hopefully makes the foreground stand out a bit more hopefully.

Still a good one, if a strange one too.

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Shakma

Since I have a few more Link Posters to share, I might as well space it out.

Instead, how about a bit of misleading (and great) Art for a different killer Monkey/Ape Film- Shakma?  Alright, other Alec.

This is a neat-looking Poster.  The creature looks angry and scary as hell.

Remind me again- how does it look in the Film?

Not the worst lie from one of these- that is still the German one where they just added Michael Meyers for no reason- but a pretty big one.

The Film is...bad, but kind of quirky fun.  This Poster is just pure Horror.

Also lies.  Pure lies.

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Link (1986)

Who doesn't love Monkeys?

Well, if you watch Link- the Film about a killer Orangutan disguised as a Chimpanzee-, you won't!

Based on this Box Art, this Film must be hilarious.

It is actually just a Slasher Film starring a painted-up Orangutan though. 

Weird, but not great.

Rare Flix: The Mafu Cage (1978)

Family, right?  Today's Film is The Mafu Cage aka Deviation, a 1978 Character Film/Thriller.  It is basically a look at the dark future of those kids from Roar- even though this one came out 3 years before the actual release of said Film.  The Film tells the tale of two Sisters who live in a big, Jungle-style House in the wake of their Father's death.  One of them is normal (albeit repressing alot!) and the other one...is Carol Kane.  You never played straight-laced people that often, did you?  The Drama is quite palpable here...although I mainly wanted an excuse to say 'palpable' again.  I'm an Adult!  Anyhow, the Sisters have a solution: a Monkey.  Yeah, this won't end well.  Will bringing a creature who could easily rip off your face into a household with two Sisters on the edge of a mental breakdown end well?  Of course not!  To find out how it goes, read on...

These two are Sisters, although they haven't always been close.  One embraced their old life, while one rejected it.

In the wake of their Father's death, the pair are forced back together.  This should go well.

The conflict is between Kane's slightly-psychotic frivolity and and her Sister's responsible nature.  This Film is super-subtle about showing said conflict sometimes...

They do the only natural thing: take in a Orangutan!  It sure helps to know people that just let you keep Mafus (as Kane calls it)...

Her tripolar joy/anger/sadness is broken up, however, when she hears her Sister talk about how much of a burden she is.  Awkward.

Things go really wrong when Kane goes all ballistic and actually kills her Mafu!

When the Sister goes away, the guy she works with and talked about around Kane shows up, so...things happen.

She eventually kills him and tries to hide this from her Sister.  When that fails, she gains a new Mafu- her sibling!

When she eventually dies from poor handling (shocking- right!), Kane is left alone and the Film ends with her locked up in her own cage.  The End.

Hurray for happy Endings?  This one is big, loud and bleak.  I can definitely see the appeal for the Actors here.  This is some 1970s Mega-Acting that I haven't seen since the original Amityville Horror!   Kane is very convincing at playing crazy and Lee Grant does a good job as her put-upon Sister.  The whole thing feels real and natural.  Unfortunately, it is a real and natural Tale of two people that aren't fun to be with.  One is deranged and has wild mood swings, while the other is just somber.  I definitely feel for their situation- I just don't want to be a part of it all that much.  The Film does tell a unique and mostly-interesting Story.  Like many Films from its time, the Pacing is slower than some may be used to.  If you like these kinds of strange Character Dramas, then this is a hidden gem.  If you don't, this is just the world's worst Holiday visit.  Before any Studio decides to remarket this, I should note that the Print needs some restoration...

Next up, my Holiday Review.  As much as I love my Family, I love Trashy Movies too.  Stay tuned...

Quick Reviews: Black Zoo (1963)

Approximately 30 years after Lionel Atwill went crazy working for a Zoo, we got to see Michael Gough go crazy running one...

One night, this random lady is killed by a Tiger while out for a walk.  New York City, right?

Later at a Zoo, the Owner- Gough- leads a Tour.

Yes, I do realize that this is a terrible Print.  Big deal- wanna fight about it?

As it turns out, Gough is WAY too into his Animals.  He also has a mute sidekick on loan from House of Wax.

He also kills people.  Way to bury the lead, me!

One of his men kills his Tiger, so he is, in turn, fed to a Lion.  The circle of life?

He's also part of a weird Cult that worships the Animals and does a Ceremony to put the Tiger's spirit in a young one.  Nice hat.

After a couple more killings, Gough turns on his wife when she tries to leave.  We eventually learn that the mute sidekick is Gough's son, who went mute when he saw did kill his Mother.

What an ignoble death for Alfred.  The End.

Fun, but dated stuff.  Black Zoo is a fun little Movie that just goes for the crazy.  Tiger attack in the park- check.  Lion attack at home- check.  Sneak attack by a Gorilla- big check!  It is all a bit silly, while also trying to be really dark.  As a result, it almost feels more so at times!  For example, he has a dramatic moment explaining how he won't sell the Zoo to some sleazy guy and then sics a Lion on him (which was just calmly waiting outside).  It is treated so seriously that it really works on a different level.  For his part, Gough nails the role.  He is maniacal in private, but puts on a good show around others.  That said, there is some odd filler with some school children and a monkey show.  I don't know how necessary it was to see the whole performance really.  I guess it was either that or have a really silly Comic show up every 10 minutes.  All in all, Black Zoo is a bizarre, hidden gem.  It is apparently available on DVD, although MGM only trusts the market enough for a 'burn-on-demand DVD-R' release and not a full-fledged one.  If you would market it, this kind of thing might sell, guys.  Don't make me sic the Gorilla on you...

Considering the quality of Print available, not a bad Film.  It is a bit dated, so just bear that in mind.

Sons of Kong?: Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla (1952)

Thank Space Jesus this is over!  At long last, I am done with the Sons of Kong Set.  Who's stupid idea was it to do all 10 of these?  Oh, right.  Naturally, I'm going out with arguably the worst one in the whole group.  The Film- Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla.  I don't really need to spell this one out, do I?  No?  Well, tough shit!  I looked this crap up and you're going to read it.  The Director- William Beaudine.  Yes, the Director of Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter and Billy the Kid vs. Dracula.  Crap.  The Stars- Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo.  I'll actually forgive you for not knowing those names.  These guys basically stole Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis' routine- while they were still doing it!  Fun Fact: Mitchell had an Uncredited Role in a Martin & Lewis Film in the same year that this one came out!  The Film also features Bela Lugosi (who's not actually Credited outside of the Title), white Natives and, yes, that same damn Monkey Suit!  Ugh.  The only way that this could be worse if Mantan Moreland was in this.  He's not.  You probably thought that I was going to say that he was for some sort of ironic effect, right?  Wrong!  To see how this Set ends with (an unfunny) bang, read on...

After a random batch of Animal Stock Footage, we learn that two Comedians were found in the Jungles of...Made-Up Land with White 'Natives.'  They turn out to be Mitchell and Petrillo (playing themselves).

They each end up with a lady, although the one who likes Petrillo is fat.  As such, she deserves no love!  How dare she?!?

They end up working with a local Scientist (Bela) who uses them for random work.  He's not evil!

Petrillo continues to mug and mug as...yeah, this Movie has barely any Plot...Moving on...

In a bit they stole from an Abbott & Costello Film, Mitchell is turned into an Ape.  Mug, damn you!

At a Tribal Gathering, Bela goes to shoot the Ape-Mitchell (Trademark!), but Sammy takes the shot.

Sadly, he's not dead!  He was just having a dream and a stomach ache.  Yea- more Story theft!  They do their Act again and the Film (and their Comedy Career) ends.

Bad.  Bad bad BAD.  Just...just really bad.  That's all there is to it.  It isn't funny.  It isn't exciting.  It isn't scary.  It just sucks.  My God, it sucks.  This is apparently the only Film containing the pair of Mitchell and Petrillo doing their schtick.  Oh darn.  I feel bad for Bela here.  We all know that he didn't have much time left at the time this one was Shot.  Is this the best you could give him?  Sorry, Bela.  Seriously, avoid this one at all costs.  If you won't take my word for it, let's see what Martin & Lewis thought of this one...

Up next, some more Screener action.  With so many out there, who knows what I'll do next.  Stay tuned...