Sleep Tight: Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

 How did I never get around to this Meta Sequel?  Dunno.

This is Wes Craven's New Nightmare, the 1994 Film that attempted to revive the Franchise.  After 6 Films, was there anything left to do?

Well, the answer was to bring the original Director back.  Duh.

The Plot involves the Star of the Original (and third) Film playing a version of herself, alongside her fake Husband and fake Son. 
Freddy turns out to be real...sort of as Wes Craven (playing himself) writes a new Film.

Even if this didn't actually revive the Franchise, is it good?
To find out, read on...

In what is technically a Cold Open (as the Film doesn't feature proper Opening Credits), work has begun on a new Elm Street Film- this time using a remote control glove.

It attacks the three Special Effects guys, but...

It was all a dream!

Heather Langenkamp plays a fictional version of herself who doesn't want to be associated with the Films after a Stalker harasses her.

What she doesn't know is that her Husband- who was also an Effects guy IRL- is working on said Film and now has cuts on his hand like in the dream!

Her weird kid- every Horror Mom has one- says that Freddy is appearing at night and Rex, his dinosaur doll, is keeping guard.

She doesn't believe it...but then who sliced up the Dinosaur?!?

Weird things involving the kid and the phone calls make Langenkamp ask her Husband to come home early.

He does that, but starts to fall asleep along the way back and then the glove attacks him!

The Cops think that his massive stab wound is just from the accident.  Right...

The kid, meanwhile, is getting weirder and I'm getting The Ring flashbacks...but this came out years before Ringu.  It is even a year before The Ring- Kanzenban, the original TV Movie Adaptation.

So is this just based on the Book OR sheer coincidence?

The kid continues to freak out and he's clearly not sleeping.

Let's get Lin Shaye (before James Wan made her a Star again) to help him out.

Heather goes to see Wes and he explains that he's writing what he sees in his dreams.  Apparently he did that with the original...while also apparently basing it on strange cases in the U.S.

He's our Exposition Dump- well, he is the Writer- and he tells us that Freddy is just the latest form of some deep, immortal evil and only the Films being popular/relevant keep him in check.

'Who wrote this nonsense?  Oh...right.'

Like in Part 5, Freddy seems to want the kid (who is at least born this time).  Why?

Unclear.

He kills people to get to him and then keeps him alive via vague bs powers he now has.

The darker, angrier Freddy eventually gets the kid, so Heather goes into his dreams to save him.

It involves some dated special effects, a second case of Robert Englund and a killer tongue & burning the guy up in an oven...in the Dream World.

It's weird, but we're almost done!

Back in the real World, Heather than reads...the Script to her Son?!?

The End.

A Film that works on many levels- hopefully ones that you relate to.

This Film is all about Family, Motherhood and responsibility.

To be fair, Freddy has strong opinions on pregnancy- especially in teens.

In a way, this makes sense- this is the Franchise aging up with their Audience.  In the 10 years since the first Film, it is easy to imagine young people having a kid (or two).

As such, this one- based on Heather's real life- could hit close to home.

The Meta aspect of the Film is very weird and I don't know if it is for everyone.  There is also more teases of Horror than actual killings, so understand the slower pacing.

All of the things that make this Film feel so weird and interesting are the same things that make it a weird sell to many.

I'm a fan, but I see the issues.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to tell John Saxon that his Script for an Elm Street Sequel is never going to be made (and actually just sold on eBay) ...

For the sake of the joke, this was done sometime before 2020.

Next up, I turn my focus to Ghosts and their ilk.  Should I do a famous Comedy or a serious Drama?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Sunday: Scream Queen- My Nightmare on Elm Street (2019)

 A bit of a caveat here as between the time I watched the Film and now, it's off Shudder (for now, at least).

What happens when you get your dream come true and it ruins your life?  Hopefully you never find out, but Mark Patton did.

In 1985, Patton was a young Actor in Hollywood trying to become a Star.

He got the Lead in a Sequel to a smash Horror hit.

What could go wrong?

Everything.

As the AIDS epidemic changed everything, he had to 'be straight' to get work.
He had to watch friends/lovers die.
He had to watch a culture where Actors were blood tested before they could get on a Show/Film.

Is it any wonder why he left Hollywood?

He fled from Hollywood, being a footnote in Horror Film History and, unfortunately, being an excuse for people to dislike Elm Street 2.

Look at all of Elm Street media- comics, games, TV etc- and see which Film is never referenced or mentioned.

It's not Elm Street 3...or 4...or 5...or 6. 
You get it.

In 2010, he was interviewed for the Never Sleep Again Documentary and people suddenly realized that he was still around.

That set him off to do the Convention circuit, punctuated by a 2019 Cast Reunion.
RIP Clu Gulager.

The one person missing was the Writer, who is the focus of Mark's (understandable) indignation.

He's spent the last few Decades going from playing coy (what subtext) to blaming Casting (read: Mark) to embracing it (it was totally my intention).

So what happens when the pair finally meet for the first time since 1985?

To find out, stream the Film (just not on Shudder atm) now.

A solid Documentary that is all about History and how we should not forget it.  In an age where Trans People are the new targets, a reminder is sadly due.  Oh no-I said a political.

Mark is a good subject as he, sadly, experienced all of the highs and lows that a documentary subject has to.  In the time since, he's gotten really sick, so hopefully things are better by the time of this writing.  Help here if you can- Fundraiser by Peter Valderrama : DONATION TO HELP MARK PATTON RECIEVE MED CARE (gofundme.com)

His story is a sad one, but he makes it as happy as possible.  He's found himself.  He's found life again in Mexico.  He has become an advocate and not a punch line.  

The Film shows you an interesting side of fandom as the candid interviews that are less positive (being nice) about him are later juxtaposed with all of the people who formed a bond with him over the Film.  Whether you like him, or the Film is pretty immaterial.

If he's considered to be a Male Scream Queen, then so be it.

A good Documentary to watch in any Month, but obviously it hits harder in Pride Month.  A strong recommendation.

My Crazy Youth: The Time that Freddy Kreuger Taught Brad Pitt About... Teen Pregnancy?!?

 Since it is Robert Englund's Birthday, let's look at some Elm Street stuff.  Hell, let's do more this week- just because!

Let's begin with Freddy's Nightmares aka *deep breath* Freddy's Nightmares: A Nightmare on Elm Street- The Series.

The real nightmare is me having to write out that full Title multiple times...so I won't.

This Show featured Freddy sometimes interacting with his victims, but usually just popping up between Scenes a la The Cryptkeeper.

What about this Episode?
Let's see...

A young couple- hey look, it is Brad Pitt- run away from home because there Parents don't want them to get married.

Hit the road!

They wander around a tiny Studio Set that is lit black so you can't tell that it is a small Studio Set.

See how well it worked?

Their car breaks down and a nice couple robs them.

Is this a dream?  Dunno.
They go back and forth between them so long that I almost expect to wake up suddenly and...

Nope- still here.  Shit.

They end up at a crazy Hotel thanks to Bill Moseley.

Everything goes wrong between dream sequences and they learn that maybe they should go home.

That's a weird way to tell a lesson, but you do you, Freddy.

So we're done here, right?

Nope.  This is a 2-Part Story, instead of featuring two tales.

Now we see the Couple together in Springwood- Freddy's Town- and they have a pregnancy scare.

This leads to a bunch of Nightmare Sequences focusing on her- with Pitt popping up randomly- imagining the worst.

It's not subtle.

Her Nightmares continue until she finally wakes up in bed and checks the test.  She's not pregnant.

She jumps around on the bed to celebrate...and falls off, hitting her head and putting her in a vegetative state.

See- it's ironic, because she's a baby now...I guess.

Also Freddy didn't do that, so...huh?!?

It's a weird one, to say the least.  For folks that don't know, Pitt worked a bunch before hitting it big in the '90s.  This isn't his only Horror Film/TV appearance.  If you know the big one, you know.

The problem here is that Freddy does nothing.  Unless you assume that any Nightmare is him doing it, he's absent for the whole thing story-wise.  He does the interstitial bits- so that they could call it Freddy's Nightmares- but that's it.

Also that Title is a bit confusing thanks to lazy Grammar.  Is it the Nightmares that Freddy makes OR the Nightmares had by Freddy?  Fans want to know!

The two-part natures of this Episode is also quite odd.  They both feature the duo, but the connection is tenuous at best.  Were they from Springwood?  If so, what was the point of scaring them in Town if the first lesson was NOT TO LEAVE TOWN?!?

I still enjoyed the bits as a whole, but it definitely leaned more on the 'what is real?' schtick.  That said, there's probably a real reason to watch for many of you out there...

A weird bit of a Morality Play in a Nightmare on Elm Street tale.  It's really disjointed, but kind of fun all the same.

'90s Trash: Tobe Hooper's Night Terrors (1993)

As a fan of Tobe Hooper, this makes me sad.  

This is Night Terrors, a 1993 Film made by sort-of Canon Films- now with just Globus.  

After failing to get a big hit out of his 3-Picture Deal- TCM 2, Lifeforce and Invaders from Mars-, he managed to keep going.  Following some TV work (and Spontaneous Combustion), he ended back with kind-of-sort-of Canon.  

Here's how you know that you should be worried- one-time Screenwriter.  Rom Globus is the Co-Writer and one has to assume he's a direct relative of the more famous Globus here.  

I can't find records to confirm what relation they may or may not have, but...come on!  

The other Writer is more known for Acting...and he's not really known for that either.  He's one of those guys that pops up in random parts in random things and you never remember him.  

He did write- and this is true- Homeboyz: Crack City.  No, really.  

It has no Plot listed on IMDB and only one Review (they hated it).  

This Plot of THIS Film involves a lot of weird things coinciding for no clear reason.  A woman goes to Israel with her Father and it all ties in to a Gnostic Cult.  

The other half of the Story inexplicably involves the Marquis De Sade- why not?!?  

The whole thing was a mess behind the Scenes, changing Directors and locations before all was said and done.  Save this Film, Robert Englund!  

To find out why even he can't, read on...

In Flashbacks, we see the Marquis- Englund- being tortured and enjoying it.  

This sure relates to what happens next...

Our Heroine goes to Egypt- actually Israel- to hang out with her Father, who's an Archaeologist looking into some Gnostic Ruins.

Her Dad is busy, so she wanders the Streets.  Some men try to straight up rape her (!!!), but a woman tells them not to...and they do.

Said women hangs out with her and just happens to love the Marquis AND have his Journal.  

Reading is for evil Cults!

Our Heroine hangs out with the woman and has weird visions at a party.  She isn't feeling well the next day, but still goes out to see a Desert Horse Race with her friends, because of a Film Wipe.

She passes out, but ends up hooking up with the Racer after more visions.  This Film is like 40% random visions, just narrowly losing out to The Lords of Salem.

More visions.  Nudity.  More visions.  Nudity.

Englund finally shows up in the Present as Mr. Chevalier- he's no Knight!- and he's part of the group that the woman is.  

No reason to distrust any of this!

The Dad occasionally shows up.  

He finds some ruins and then immediately gets killed.  Yea.

The group make their move by killing the Nanny- Cliché Concerned Religious Maid Character- and capturing our Heroine.  Shockingly, everyone is working against her- even that guy.

He can't be evil- he once rode a Horse while naked!

There's a whole plan involving killing her that somehow connects to De Sade, but who cares?

The woman has a change of heart and frees our Heroine, only to be killed by Englund.

After 80+ minutes, will our Heroine finally save herself?  

Nope- random Monks do.

In the Past, De Sade dies.  Glad we cut back to that!  The End.

A weird mess of a Film.  

This could have been...interesting.  I was going to say 'great,' but then thought about it.  

This Plot involves the Marquis De Sade, Gnostics and a bunch of weird sex dreams.  That is NOT how people describe Casablanca!  

There was no way to truly salvage this Film without massive changes.  Tobe Hooper was a really good Director.  Robert Englund is a good Actor.  That's about where the quality really stops.  

The Plot is a mess.  The Pacing is terrible.  The constant distraction of the sex visions is bad.  None of this really works.  

Could they have been okay with just the flashback parts being expanded?  Yes.  

Could they have been okay with just the present-day stuff being expanded?  Yes.  

My biggest problem is with how they wrote/treat the Lead Heroine.  Simply put, she's passive and pathetic.  She goes everywhere people tell her to, only makes minor attempts to speak her mind and can't even stand up for herself as things wrap up.  

Does she manage to escape on her own?  No.  The woman just feels bad for her and lets her escape.  Does she at least take down Englund- who was already wounded and bleeding out?  Nope.  

She's just pathetic and really speaks to bad Writing and maybe something deeper. 

Given that Rom only wrote this, I can only judge him by this Film- which doesn't do him any favors!  Night Terrors is not good and, more importantly, is not about me facing ennui while I sleep!  

It is, however, full of subtle symbolism that only a Film featuring a naked man riding a Horse could bring you...

Next time, a trip back the '80s.  I can't stay away from that crazy Decade!  Stay tuned...

Quick Reviews: Dance of the Dead (Masters of Horror)

Even though Tobe Hooper is a big name in Horror, I haven't done either of his Episodes of...

In his first one, a post-apocalyptic world leads to a...

Some time in the future, a plague struck the World and killed millions.

Even worse, someone in Editing butchered the crap out of this Episode with flashes and transitions!

In a City of freaks and addicts, a man- Robert Englund- runs a Club that promises the titular Dance.

Is this a better Tobe Hooper Film with Englund than The Mangler?  Ehh...

In a nicer City, our Heroine is working with her Mother.  She wants to see the World.

Or, in this case, the Star of The Black Donnellys.

Did I just want to point out that a Show about Irishmen was called The Black Donnellys?  Yes.

The girl and Black Donnelly #1 go to the Club (pursued by the Mother) and learn what the titular Dance is.

SPOILER ALERT- they are just tazing Zombies.

When one of the Dancers turns out to be our Lead's Sister, tensions arise.  With more SPOILERS to be revealed, how will things turn?  To find out, watch the Episode.

I wanted to like this.  Look- Tobe Hooper is a true Master of Horror.  He made Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist and Lifeforce.  In other words, he's not Mick Garris.  Yeah, I'm still going there.  Dance of the Dead has the essence of a good Story.  We have a fairly-interesting Setting, a good Lead and Robert Englund.  Yeah, he's in shit like The Killer Tongue and others, but he's still great.  The first problem: filling out the Story.  The Episode/Film is not the best at explaining, well, anything.  Showing the important opening as a Flash Cut Dream/Memory- not good.  They just don't explain it well enough so that when you first see the Post-Apocalyptic Setting, you go 'Huh?'  Show me a Dream and a Diner and I know that the World has gone to crap?  Really?  The biggest sin: the Editing.  While watching it, I was asked about how bad the flashy/cutty stuff was.  I said 'Yeah, it is pretty annoying.'  The response I got: 'I get the feeling that when you call something 'Pretty annoying,' you actually mean that it is really awful.'  Basically, yes.  It just feels so '90s in the bad way and this one was made in 2006.  Was there a need to look like a Hard Rock Video from 1997 here?  I just don't get it.  Oh and the pay-off is not super-great either.  All in all, Hooper suffers for other people's sins.  On the plus side, it made me appreciate the random Weather I get in Florida.  Sure- it can rain on only 1 side of the Street here, but never this...  

Some good ideas are buried under the so-so Script and annoying Editing.  Hooper deserves better than this- in spite of TCM 2.

Sleep Tight: A Nightmare on Elm Street 5- The Dream Child

Another Nightmare that I woke up from.  

Today's Film is A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, the 1989 Sequel that exists somewhere in a limbo.  

It isn't as well-liked as Part 1 or Part 3, but nor is it as polarizing at Part 6 or Freddy vs Jason.  Just like The Dream Master, this one is remembered, but not as much as the rest.  

This time, Freddy is back for more killings, but also more subtext about growing up and maturing.  The theory is that the Film was aimed to a slightly older audience, figuring that the fans of the Original were getting to the 'thinking of having kids' phase that many go through.  

This was the least financially successful Film in the Series, so you be the judge.  

The whole thing feels similar in a bad way (it is Part FIVE), but also different in a confusing way.  Will this work better with less actual killings?  

To note, we actually get returning Actors in the Lead Roles this time- hurray!  We also brought a couple of odd Retcons too- yes hurray.  

To find out if this mostly-ignored Chapter (save for leading to one of the Comics) is good or bad, read on...

In spite of some weird dreams (that try to fill in Freddy's backstory), Alice is convinced that everything is alright.

This doesn't last long as she ends up in a dream (memory?) that involves Freddy being born as an It's Alive baby, crawling to his remains from Part 4 and comes back to life...somehow.

Look- it is better than a dream dog peeing fire on his dream body, so...improvement?

This time, Freddy can attack people in their dreams, but also channeling Alice somehow.  

This leads to her boyfriend being turned into some weird mix of Ghost Rider and Hardware.

Does she want the good news or the bad news?

The good news- she's Pregnant.
The bad news- Freddy is using her unborn fetus to channel his power...or something.

This kid appears at the Hospital, but nobody but Alice sees him.  

No, it is NOT the same Evil Kid Actor from Children of the Corn III.  I double checked.

Gee- I wonder who he is?

Now he's the odd thing: this one actually gives you more teases of kills than ever.  

While the one girl dies famously by choking on food via Freddy, Alice's friend here escapes her fate.

This leads to the Film Series' original Shark-Jumping moment: Super Freddy.

Some context- the one guy loves and draws Comics, so he's killed by a 'Super Villain' in his dreams.  

That...is still dumb.

Oh and the Retcons I talked about?  Well, Freddy now fears his Mother's spirit...who now shows up as her younger self (contradicting Part 3) and her body needs to be freed from the Asylum to come back...even though...

a) She freely appeared and helped Dr. Gordon in Part 3.
b) She was shown to be buried in the Cemetery (also in Part 3).

After a whole Film's worth of build-up, she is released and...tells Alice's unborn kid to beat Freddy.

Oh, alright then.  Now dead for reals, Freddy...is teased with returning in the Film's last shot...again.

Getting kind of stale, unfortunately.  

While I'm not as in love with Part 3 as most, it was a solid entry.   Part 4 was a bit shaky with the Recasting, odd Story bits and generally feeling of malaise.  That is not helped with this one, even if there is no Recasting.  

Freddy still kills people with continually-more-silly Dream Scenarios.  

Teens run around and die.  

Freddy dies, but you know that he'll be back.  

Not counting the weird detour that the much-maligned Part 2 took, the Films have all been this way.  They do mix things up here with the new stuff involving the fetus, but it is super-bizarre.  Freddy has escaped dreams to exist physically in Alice's body?  He's channeling his power through her unborn child, since it 'dreams.'  A Doctor actually tells someone that a fetus dreams?  

On top of that, the aforementioned Retcons/inconsistencies.  It just feels weird that this is a direct Sequel, but now I'm being told something different.  

I also have to wonder what happened to Dr. Gordon, although he was absent from the last Film too.  

How does nobody remember all of the mysterious deaths that happened in the last 2 Films?  This one has some good moments, some especially ridiculous ones (Super Freddy!) and some just plain strange ones.  

A mixed bag overall- not good enough to keep this one going for much longer though.  

On the plus side, this M.C. Esher bit is neat.  

On the negative side, they kind of borrowed it from Labyrinth (made 3 years earlier)...

Next up, I dig through my own collection for some content.  Considering all the random crap I bought recently, who knows what will come next.  Stay tuned...