Tubi Thursday: The Strangeness (1985)

 As someone who actively seeks out the weirdest and most obscure Films, I still find stuff after all of these years.

This is one of those cases...

In possibly one of the earliest examples of an Opening Kill Trope I can think of, a pair of people go into a recently opened cave.

They're both killed by something.

In real life, this was shot in an actual Cave.  People later went in further and actually died from poison gas exposure!

* We also do get some fun stills of the Actors in a stylized way in the Opening Credits *

A group of folks are hired by a Mining Company to go into the same location.

They want to know if there's more gold to be found.

The group includes this Not Quint guy and his very confusing accent.

I supposed it's less confusing than the fact that Co-Writer/Co-Editor/Co-Composer/Co-Producer/Director is credited as a man.
Was it her choice?

They wander around the Mine for a while...a long while.

We briefly get a shot or two of the creature (nicknamed Binky by the crew).

Enjoy it when you can.

The VFX Supervisor would get mainstream work for the next 30 years!

They end up stuck down in the Mine and try to find a way out.

Meanwhile, the Cast is whittled down...eventually by the still mostly unseen creature.

It all comes down to 2 Survivors- even this has a Final Girl- and they escape from/blow up the creature after it takes out the Boss (who went crazy).

There's no Sequel, so I guess they won.
The End.

A Film with many good ideas and a decent monster.
Sadly, the Film does not live up to its true potential.

The idea- people trapped in a Mine with a crazy, Lovecraftian Monster- is a good one.  This one just can't quite make the most of it.

For starters, the Film had a Budget of $25,000, so the Film has many shortcuts.

The Mine- for instance- is only shown in chunks and always in very dim light.  When you see it in bright light, you realize that it is not made out of rocks.

Likewise, the creature doesn't do much and has that really stiff motion that comes from stop motion not being shot/treated properly.  I like the creature though.

This one is recommended to those that are willing to wait for the good stuff, but it won't make the average Horror fan happy.
In fact, at times, it might make you feel like this...

A Film that I like the idea of more than the actual Film.  This one is yet another that can honestly be treated well with a loving Remake/reimagining.

Tubi Thursday: The Burning (1981)

 After watching the Original Friday the 13th on Svengoolie last weekend, I realized that this other '80s Camp Slasher was on here.

Fate has led me to finally give a proper review to...

In a prolonged flashback, a man named Cropsey is pranked by attendees of the Summer Camp he works at.

Said prank goes awry and, well, you can see what happens!

5 years later, we meet the residents of a different Camp.

Unlike the original Friday, this Camp is actually open and full of campers.

Amongst the group are Fisher Stevens and Jason Alexander!

We get Killer POV for a good half hour before the guy really gets into it.

He kills a girl after she leaves the river and somehow takes SIX Canoes away in a few hours.

The group make a raft and send a few Campers off to get help.

Said Campers- including long-time Law & Order Actor Ned Eisenberg (front left)- do just that until they see one of their canoes.

In the most famous bit, he pops up and hacks the group to bits with his garden shears!

He- apparently- goes back to shore and kills a few more the next night.

The next day, the raft comes back and the bodies are discovered!

Oh, and that is apparently Holly Hunter in the blue blouse there.

It all leads to a finale where Alfred- who was creeping on the couple killed that night- flees from Cropsey and is eventually capture (but not killed).

We find out that Todd- the Lead Male Counselor- was one of the group that accidentally burned Cropsey as he fights off the disfigured killer.

After being POV for about 90 minutes, he goes down to a shears and hatchet to the head combo in a few minutes.

The End.

A Film that is good at gore and somewhat good at suspense.

This one is an odd duck, as it comes very early in the Slasher Craze.  As such, the rules aren't fully set and not everyone can follow them.

For example, this Film has a Final Guy- how odd is that?!?
Especially when you consider that he should be a victim- maybe who dies saving someone else- given his Character History.

So much of this Film is build-up.
They hired Tom Savini and he only got a brief time to show off Cropsey in all of his burnt-up glory.
What a waste.

Speaking of waste, this was Produced by H. Weinstein.  F**k that guy.

The Burning has a few famous moments, but is mostly just set-up and somewhat underwhelming payoff. 
That said, it did help us get the oddly specific White Guys in Blue Shirts Holding Axes Trend of 1981...

Ash is slightly more iconic than Todd, of course.

I hope you're doing well, Bruce!

A Film that is more of a historical footnote to most people.  That said, it has some good moments and a creepy killer (for a few minutes, at least).

Tubi Thursday: Frostbiter- Wrath of the Wendigo (1988/1995)

 A special thanks to the person who posted in the Rifftrax Facebook Group with a clip from this Film.

Thanks to you, I finally saw this one.

Of course, I say 'Thanks,' but this is...

A man in unconvincing old man makeup narrates to nobody that he is the Guardian of a Bone Circle that keeps a Wendigo in check.

Gee, I wonder what will happen...

In short order, these two Hunters wander there and break the circle.

The main guy also kills the Guardian...for no good reason.

Elsewhere, a bunch of jerks are hanging out at a Cabin before some Evil Dead stuff starts to happen.

Elsewhere, this lady who looks like Milana Vayntrub is called by the Guardian and told that she is the new one...for some reason.

We are never told why.

She goes to the Island, but has to survive a plan crash and creature attacks!

The others eventually find her and still don't believe the tales of the Wendigo.

This is after the Witch (above) and a creature that literally ATE ONE OF THEIR HANDS.

But no, a magical creature is a bridge too far for these geniuses!

Things escalate to the moment that inspired me to find this one on Tubi.

The Wendigo finally makes an appearance and it is an inspired, if unconvincing bit of stop motion.

Can they stop it?
Of course they can.  

This is an '80s Horror Comedy after all.

A Film that I can both applaud...and criticize pretty well.

On the positive side, they really tried here.  They didn't spend a ton of money, but tried to do creative creatures, a Plot with a big scale and many Action Scenes.

That said, the Budget will either make you love it or hate it.
They used the same Miniature Shot of a Cabin- despite having a real one- and multiple matte paintings that just didn't look great.

They also put lots of kind of annoying Music in every Scene.  I'd have preferred less.

That said, there is a weird charm to it.
It is aimless, random, not that funny and cheaply made...but I can't fault them for being weird and having fun.

Just don't expect me to start taking requests...or else.

A Film with a silly charm that can work in small doses.  That said, it is also a bit grating in many moments too.

'The Abyss' and Its Copies Compendium

 Having finally covered James Cameron's (does Math) 6th most Famous Film, it is important to remember that it was very influential.

Specifically, people in the Direct to Video Market wanted some of that sweet, underwater Movie cash.

This is a complete List of the Film and its unplanned ilk...

1) The Abyss: The Film that started it all still holds up to scrutiny multiple Decades later.

It was hell to make, but a joy to watch.

2) DeepStar Six: This one signaled the turn to creature feature.

That said, I had some fun with the unoriginal Plot.

3) Leviathan: The most proper one of these copycats and arguably the best.

A Stan Winston creature and a strong Cast elevates this from okay to pretty good.

4) The Rift: This one also exists.

It features some good names and decent effects, but really doesn't stand out when compared to the rest of these Films.

5) Unknown Origin: No, not that rat one- that's OF Unknown Origin.

This one rips off The Abyss for setting, while doing The Thing and Aliens at the same time.

6) Underwater: A Film that had worse luck than a guy who moved to Hiroshima in 1943.

In spite of escaping Film Limbo right in time for COVID, this Film...is actually really good.
Seriously, go see it.

And no, I didn't ever do a Review of Lords of the Deep.  

If I ever do, I'll add it.

Fiction vs. Fiction: Superman IV- The Quest for Peace

 Two books in one month- too bad this isn't Middle School.  I'd get a prize if it was.

Instead, my reward is getting to watch Superman IV yet again.

Being an Adult kind of sucks sometimes.

This is the showdown between...

**************

This was also written by the Author of Superman 3's Book.

What's the Same?

This is a Novelization, so the Plot is untouched.  That said...

Canon Films was going through financial difficulty and basically had to sell the distribution rights to Warner Bros just to finish making the Film.
They also slashed the budget (some say in half).

Oh, and they also cut anywhere between 30-45 minutes from the Film before release!
So, the Book is based on the Script and not the final Film.

Are you already lost?  I don't blame you.

In short, some stuff here is not in the final Film, but its original cut.  So...

What's Different?

Like the other Book, some stuff is tonally darker.  There's just much less here.

For instance, the Film shows (above) that the Guards survived Luthor's escape.  The Book doesn't.

In the Book, Lex steals a hair donated by Superman to work on a creation.  He unties it.
In the Film, he cuts it with bolt cutters...despite the fact that it could somehow hold 1,000 lbs!

The final Film cut almost all of the stuff after Jeremy pleads to Superman to stop potential nuclear war.

The Scene where Superman actually meets him at Schol- cut after the bad Screening.

It's available online- obviously.

In addition, there's a big chunk of the Story that was cut entirely.

After they steal Superman's Hair (more on that later), they make a clone...that sucks.

It fights Superman (which is somehow worse in the final Film) and dies.
Lenny then takes the goop (which is just dust in the Film) and they make the more famous and less terrible version.

In the Book, one of Lex's arm dealer pals stashes the stuff on a missile that Superman is going to toss into the Sun.
In the Film, he (a famous criminal) dresses like Patton, gets on a base and does it himself.

Is this worse than when Pryor did it in Superman 3?

In the Book, Superman battles the creation around the World and it wrecks the Great Wall of China.
The Book just says that 'he fixes it.'

In the Film, he...shoots blue lasers that reverse the footage?!?

There's a reason that the Film is viewed as too silly.

In the Book, N. Man wounds Superman and he's weakened.  A shot from him sends Superman flying away, leaving...his costume behind.  Is he...naked now?

In a rare improvement, the Film has the CAPE be left behind and recovered.

There's also a Scene that is not in the Novelization (but I guess in the Script).
In it, Clark reveals his identity to Lois, talks about what he should do with the nukes and... then mind wipes her again with a kiss.

B.B. was right to cut this.

Lastly, the Finale plays out mostly the same.  The Book describes NM turning into a missile.
The most the Film can do (in a cut bit) is a yellow ball of energy.

Final Thoughts

The Novelization is a pretty good version.  It is the full version, so you get all of the context and things make sense.

Well, make sense in a very relative sense that is.

It was clearly written for a younger Audience as well, as every Chapter is about 4-6 pages long.  It makes for a quick read though, letting me do a second one this Month.

Simple, but fun.

What is Better?

The Book.

The Movie- in its proper form- is a mess in so many ways.  When you cut 45 minutes out of a 2-hour or so Film, things are going to be confusing.

It is still the story of Superman IV, so, set your expectations appropriately.

Tubi Thursday: Fright House (1989)

 I only got half the Movie that I was promised...and I'm okay with that.

This was going to be a special Tubi Thursday in one regard...but now it is a different story.

To find out, read all about the...

A hairy guy with a mullet makes out with his girlfriend...now his fiancée.

They get right up to actually having sex.

We cut to this random guy- who looks like the Drummer in Any '80s Band- wandering around a building and eventually being killed by a demon hand...I think.

It is called a suicide.

Later, a nerdy guy talks about a fireplace in the middle of the woods being a portal to Hell...and die off-screen.

A jarring cut goes from hand appearing to the Funeral!

Our guy- who is a Cop- talks to the guy's Therapist...because he was his Brother!

The Cop guy sends a random Cop Lady undercover at the School- via the worst ADR in history- and talks to his Boss....played by Al Lewis.

Why have I seen two Al Lewis Films (that aren't The Munsters) in the past week?!?

After barely any setup, a bunch of random groups of people go into this Building.

We see Cultists.
We see Monsters outside.

People die.

The Cop is undercover in the group, which means he has bad KISS makeup on.

To the surprise of nobody, the leader of the Cult turns out to be Grandpa Munster.

Clearly being in Gremlins 2 is a major upgrade for playing off-brand Ernest Borgnine in The Devil's Rain.

In our big finale, our Hero keeps yelling off-camera for him to stop...but does nothing.

He throws a crystal from earlier and everything explodes.

The Cop and his Fiancee wake up and go off...but she's possessed...I think (more on that later).

At this point, FH is supposed to then cut to a condensed version of 1986/88's Vampires, with Duane Jones.

The Tubi Version doesn't.  Oh well.

********

This Film sure...exists.  I wish that I could say more fun things about it.

The Film is a bunch of random bits, little bits of setup and then a bunch of 'action' in the latter half.

They introduce about a dozen Characters.  They do little with any of them.

Literally one Scene just kills off 5 of them off-screen in a few seconds.
The hell?!?

I wasn't expecting lots from here...and I was right.

Fright House is lots of nothing, a few cliches, Al Lewis hamming it up and that's about it.
Oh and the HD Remaster ruins the final shot, apparently removing the evil eye effect (seen here in an SD copy on YT).

It's a Thriller, Thriller Cliche.

A Film that promised me two tales and only gave me one.  Given that I didn't like the missing section the first time, I'm good.

'80s Trash: Jaws the Revenge (1987)

 At last, a Film so infamous that even its Tagline is a joke.

'This Time Its Personal!

Yes, this one is personal.  This is Jaws The Revenge, the 1987 Film that finally ended the Franchise...for now!
You just know that there's a Universal Executive (or two) that pitches a Reboot every Year.  It will happen one day- mark my words!

The Plot involves Ms. Brody and only her returning.  Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss are still not back.  Dennis Quaid and John Putch are also not back as the Sons, although their Characters do appear.

A new Shark makes things 'personal' and actually follows the Brody Family to the Bahamas!  Can they keep anyone else they know from dying?

To find out, dive in...

It is Christmastime in Amity.  So, is this a Christmas Film now?
Let's not start another one of THOSE debates.

A Shark blocks a buoy so that someone will go to clear it and kills them.  They just happen to be Sean Brody (the younger Brother).

Of course, as the Film goes on, it becomes more and more clear that the Shark targeted him specifically!

Ms. Brody is upset, having lost her Husband to an off-screen heart attack about a year earlier and now her youngest Son.

She's convinced to go with Michael, his Wife and Daughter to the Bahamas.

Michael is studying Snails with his partner Jake (Mario Van Peebles).

While the latter is down in the Water, a Great White Shark shows up and attacks the ship, seemingly going right after Michael.

Elsewhere, Ms. Brody is trying to move on with her life and makes a connection with Hoagie (Michael Caine).

He takes her to a local Festival, which is fun until she suddenly gets a vision of the Shark.

Yep, she's psychic now!

Since they're behind on cash, Jake suggests that they spend a few days studying the Shark.

After all, Great Whites never travel to warm water environments (although they technically can).

Michael agrees, but makes sure not to tell his Mom.

Speaking of Mom, is she falling for Hoagie?

This Story was the entire appeal for Caine and Gary.
He said that he appreciated being paired up with someone his own age.

I guess he hated being in Blame it on Rio a few years earlier.

Cutting past all of the melodrama and shmaltz (like literally redoing the Son Copies Dad bit AND then saying that they did), the Shark changes tactics and goes after other family members.

During a presentation of the Wife's Sculpture, the Daughter is nearly eaten by the Shark whilst on a banana boat.

Gary takes the son's boat and goes after the Shark...which I guess just left.

Jake, Michael and Hoagie fly over to her.

Jake rigs up a device to antagonize and draw the Shark in.

Granted- the Shark is already targeting them, so it is a bit like Furios 7's Plot with Statham.

The Shark seemingly kills Jake, so the family changes tactics.

Michael uses the device on the Shark, which makes it roar!

In the original Ending, they impale the Shark and it drags the boat down.

In the redone Ending (shown in Theaters later and the official one now), they impale the Shark...and its head explodes like Scanners.

...but why?!?

Oh, and the Test Audiences hated Jake dying, so he just survives...somehow.

Note how he's floating in an obvious Tank and not the Ocean.

Whatever- happy Ending!

A Film that is both really good and really bad.

Like the guys in Ted talking about Flash Gordon- it is a walking contradiction.

Positives- Gary and company mostly do a really good job Acting here.  It is strong stuff.

You see their emotions clearly and they almost never overact.

Even the young Actress playing the Granddaughter is good.  Just don't Google her- it is depressing!

The Shark does look pretty good sometimes.  Note the qualifier- 'sometimes.'

The negatives are pretty big here.
This Shark is apparently super-intelligent (a la Orca) and can psychically track the Brody Family.  Otherwise, how else would he know to follow them to The Bahamas?!?

This whole idea is something that can work as an independent Story told within the right parameters.  As a Jaws Film though, it is super dumb and ridiculous.

The Ending is worth a watch- it is so freaking stupid (both Versions)!

No need for an Is It Bad? here- we all know the answer already.

Next up, let me take a dive into my random Flash Library.  In this case, a strange Italian Film which is the belated swan song of a famous Actor.  Stay tuned...