Poor Bastards of Cinema: Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)

 A guy who doesn't even get his name mentioned on the Wiki Page!

In Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, a young couple move into a new House.

The Wife is showing off what needs work done to her Interior Decorator friend.

He vanishes from the Movie after this Scene.

He returns in Act 3 as he's visiting the Wife again about work to be done.

Like before, they go downstairs.

...only for the creatures to set out a rope line and trip him!

He falls (off camera) and is shown to be dead at the bottom of the stairs.
(This Film was shot in a week- no time for Stunts!)

Yeah...that's it for him.

This guy didn't even really know about ANY of the danger.  He wasn't a threat to the creatures.

He was collateral damage, as they meant to trip her instead!

The moral- don't be a Designer in a '70s Movie.  You either end up dead (him) or as a Vampire...and then dead (Blacula).

It's not worth the risk. 

Poor Bastards of Cinema: John Carpenter's Vampires (1998)

 A group of people end up partying at the wrong place with the wrong people.

John Carpenter's Vampires opens with the gang taking out a House full of Vampires.

However, the Head Vampire survives and awakens at dusk.

The group is celebrating....

The Sheriff allows this because they took care of the bloodsuckers (at the behest of the Catholic Church).

He even hired all of these, well, ladies of the night.

The Head Vampire arrives and starts killing everyone!

Hunters!
Hookers!
TJ Hooker!

The group is caught off guard, probably at least half drunk and has to work together to kill normal Vampires.

This stronger one is too much for them right now!

He manages to kill everyone there, save for James Woods, the Baldwin Brother and the Hooker that was with Woods- whom he attacked, but didn't kill.

He even gets a little creative here, punching through one Hunter to choke a lady to death!

Hell, even the Priest is killed.  He sure felt awkward at the Party full of Hookers and blow.

The moral: don't count your Vampires before they're all dead.

Also, Head Vampires sleep in the dirt, so check for them like you check for gophers.

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Trick or Treat (1986)

 Another Trick or Treat Post- Halloween never ends!

Late in the Film, the Rocker is back alive as some sort of electrical being.
It is slightly more logical than being bitten by mutant electric eels in The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

In his first time alive, the TV turns on and this random lady talks about the evil of Rock & Roll.

Using his new Shocker-like powers, he reaches into the TV and grabs her.

He pulls her out through the TV and she appears on the other side as a big bunch of ash.

It's...something.

*****

Bonus- this is, in fact, Large Marge from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure.
This is her third-to-last Film role, and it should be more memorable.

That said, her appearance has no build-up and is super-quick.

What's the moral here?  
Don't pick a fight with dead guys- you never know what kind of powers they'll come back with!

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Another 48 Hours (Part 2)

 A guy so unlucky and random that even I forgot to cover it!

In Another 48 Hours, they are tracking down these Bikers that want our Heroes dead.

Like in the last Film, they find them at a cheap place (a Hotel, not an Apartment Building).

It's also in Chinatown.

The plan to get the drop on them fails, however, as the other Biker- aka The Wishmaster- spots them and a shoot-out begins.

It is all sorts of chaotic.

Somewhere in the middle, it cuts to this random guy walking out of his Room to see what all the noise is...

...and he's immediately shot.

He's never mentioned before or after.

Within the span of about 10 seconds, he appears, gets killed and disappears from the Film completely.

It seriously took me about 4 tries to get these Shots (no pun intended).  It is so fast and random!

Why did this guy die?
Because he just happened to be in the wrong Building on the wrong night.

The moral- enjoy your free Showtime/HBO and don't leave the room at night. 
You'll be better off for it.

Next up, a really inexplicable one with a fun connection to my childhood.  Poor lady.  Stay tuned...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Another 48 Hours (Part 1)

 A quick return to Eddie Murphy.

Let's look back at our first Poor Bastard in a while, this time for the somewhat-forgotten Sequel.

In the Film's opening, some bikers meet at a Desert Bar.

When 2 Cops show up, one of them recognizes one of the bad guys.

They are slow on the draw and get knocked out a window by gun shots...somehow.

The other Cop is taken out.

However, they aren't the real victims here.

The Bartender hides during the action, thinking that he needs to call for help.

However, he's met by the other Biker looming over the Bar.

Ruh roh!

Sure enough, he doesn't want him calling the Cops...er, more of them, I guess.

To quote Chris Claremont, 'Bang- you dead.'

In hindsight, the guy dealt with dangerous, usually armed Bikers all of the time.  He had to expect something like this.

The moral- stay off your phone.  It just might save your life!

Next up, a Poor Bastard so abrupt that it took me three tries to get my Screenshots.  It's that random and sudden.

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Reservoir Dogs

 Before I get to some more Quentin Tarantino stuff that I've got planned, let's wrap this one up.

I neglected to highlight this rare case (not a Rare Case though) of a Poor Bastard who goes out in a blaze of glory.

Given the context, they still qualify for this.
You'll see...

In Reservoir Dogs, late in the Film we see the tail end of the infamous heist gone wrong.

Our Heroes (?) are making their escape, but lose their car (and driver).
As such, they try to stop a new one...

This woman, however, is not just going to let this happen.

She goes for a gun she keeps in her car (this is 1990's L.A. after all)

She shoots Mr. Orange- who spends half of the Film bleeding out from said wound- as he goes for her door.

He...gets his receipt seconds later though.

A true pyrrhic victory.

At least she goes out with a great face of death (and a great bump- as she is a Stunt Woman).

So, to review, a random woman is just driving somewhere.  People try to car jack her.
She fights back and dies.

She has no name- thus a Poor Bastard.

With that out of the way, let's see if I can get regular updates going on this Segment again...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Christine (1983)

 A Car has to be moving to kill you, right?

Right?

In the intro to 1983's Christine, a Mechanic checks out the titular car as it comes off of the line.

Despite it causing an injury to a man earlier THAT DAY, he sits down in the car for a smoke break.

Is that a thing people did or still do?

He lets the end of his cigar fall on the seat (still covered in plastic, mind you).

Big mistake.

When his Boss comes down the line some time later, the man is dead.

How?

Dunno- the Film never says.
He is still a Poor Bastard of Cinema though!

Why did he have to die?  Well, he disrespected a car...that inexplicably was alive (the Book explains why, but not the Film) and had feelings.

The moral- Smoking will kill you.

Next up, we return to the world of Alex Cross for some Poor Bastards.  It doesn't pay to be helpful!

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Prom Night (2008) {Part 2}

 Another body for the pile in the Prom Night Remake.

About halfway through the Film, the Manager finally realizes that the Head Maid (see the last induction) is still missing.

He calls of one of his Employees to go looking for her.

He goes upstairs looking for her and actually crosses paths with the killer.

Just keep going, man.  
Just
Say
Nothing!

He doesn't.

He asks the guy and he says that she is 'in the Room.'

He has to know that this is wrong...but he goes in.

He gets grabbed and killed...by Editing, since this is the PG-13 Cut.

Why did this guy have to die?  He was looking for the lady, but you could just lie to him.

What's this random guy going to do to actually affect his plan?

Doesn't making more bodies make his job of stalking one person harder?

The moral- don't talk to Customers.  I know that I don't (don't try to verify this).

Next time, a man working in a Car Factory.  Who or what would want to hurt him?  See you then...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Prom Night (2008) {Part 1}

 After a while, the 'Remake' of Prom Night is fairly forgotten by me, the guy who watched and reviewed it.

That said, there are two Poor Bastards and I'm going to highlight them.

The villain gets a Room in the Hotel that the titular event is taking place on.

For no good reason, he decides to set a trap for this lady.

He ruins his key so she will go over and let him in with her own universal key.

But why?

Oh...the key, I guess.  He needs that to break into their Room(s) later.

She lets him in then he decides to make his move...

...and he brings her in to kill her.

Did he need to do this?  No.

The moral- um...don't do your job during a big event (like a Prom being held in a Hotel Ballroom).

I'm going to punt on this one- I got nothing.

Next time, another Employee bites the dust.  Does this one at least makes the Plot move forward?  See you then...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: The Black Windmill

 *** A long absence- too long- since this Segment was last seen. ***

In The Black Windmill, an Agent- Michael Caine- is forced to work against his agency to save his son.

He ends up on the run, going to a train in hurry!

He's not exactly polite while doing this, knocking into a bunch of people on the way.  This leads to a weird bit of incidental damage.

He hits a guy in a blue jacket carrying some sort of heavy sac on his shoulder.  

The bump makes him drop it over the side of the stairs and just clobber a guy!

At best, that's a carpet and hurts like hell!

At worst, he's the world's worst guy at disposing of bodies.

So technically nobody dies- as far as we know- but this one still counts for me.

A random fellow who's not even ON THE STAIRS is injured by our Hero's actions.
I'm counting it!

The moral- watch your head.

Next up, a poor bastard is simply doing their job.  That's a death sentence in some Films!  See you then...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: The Shadow (Part 2)

 Another Month and another Poor Bastard.

We're back to The Shadow and one more death.

The bad guy goes to the top of the Empire State Building with his Scientist (Ian McKellen!!!) to plan out his actions.

While there, a Sailor (famous That Guy Actor Michael Fischler) makes fun of him for 'wearing a dress.'

This won't end well.

He commands the Sailor to jump to his death.

Does he also command everyone to not hear him say this?

He manages to get over the fence while nobody can seem to/try to stop him.

On the plus side, what a view!

He jumps to his death and people freak out.

Oddly, the Film uses his forced suicide as a transition to the next Scene.

Wow.

In summary, a random Sailor is a jerk, so he dies.  Ouch.

The moral: be nice to strangers, since you never know which one is a powerful telepath!  Be better.

Next up, a Watchman at a random Building faces death.  Sure- why not?

Poor Bastards of Cinema: The Shadow (1994)

 After lots of random death in Italy, let's go back to America.

In 1994's The Shadow, the Hero's archnemesis comes to America.

He takes a Taxi to what will be his hideout, only to find out that the Driver is going to log the stop in his Logbook.

He's obviously not happy- since it is supposed to be a SECRET hideout- so he puts his mind powers to use.

Does he make the guy forget the trip?
Does he make hm write the wrong address?

There are so many options with his- let's be honest- unlimited powers.

No, he makes him think that an arriving Gas Truck is a Gas Station instead.

This makes him drive there at high speed- as you do- and crash!

Maybe he'll be....oh, never mind.

He's very dead.

So did he need to kill this guy?  No.
He could have just made him think that he was a chicken or something.

Instead, he chose fiery death...which you think would draw attention to this location.  This...never comes up.

The lesson- never use a Logbook.  It kills more people that cigarettes (don't look that up)!

Next up, another poor bastard from The Shadow.  They'll never learn!