Lost in Translation?: Zombi 2/Zombie Flesh Eaters

What's in a name?  Something something Shakespeare.

A name can make or break something, whether it is a Book or a Film or even a Dog.  In this case, it is how Denmark and/or Germany chose to market Lucio Fulci's Cult Classic...

Come again?

While the Poster looks neat, I don't understand the Title one bit.  Was this really better than the many other choices?

Hell, this Movie has been called Island of the Living Dead and Zombi 2: Invasion of the Living Dead.  Either of those are better!

As it tradition, I present to you the original Version I found...

Nothing really to change- just to make flashier and bolder.

Lost in Translation?: The Howling (Part 3)

I still got more of these!  Thank you, Internet.

This time, it is a Howling Poster from all of the way over in Denmark.  Seems logical enough...

Damn!

I'm not sure if she is being chased by a Werewolf or a Demon Bat, but I love it!

As always, the Original Version...

Same basic Poster, but with a little more color and style.

Since I'm not so lacking for content to post the same Poster twice, here's the French Canadian Poster as well...

C'est bon.

Lost in Translation?: Halloween (1978)

I might as well start the Holiday early.

Since I have a few of these, I might as well get right to Carpenter's Classic circa Denmark...

...is that supposed to be Jamie Lee Curtis?

Option #1: They can't draw her well.
Option #2: They put someone else on the Cover for some reason.

You decide!

Here's the original...

I avoided the obvious Blue Man Group joke by re-coloring the mask.  Ain't I classy?

A Danish Girl: Room 205

What is Danish for 'eh, it's alright?'  Today's Film is Room 205, a 2007 Horror Film from Denmark.  The Film tells the tale of some young people in the titular Room.  Besides roommates, they also have ghosts!  This is all pretty familiar stuff.  In fact, it is so familiar that I thought there might be some connection between this and Apartment 1303, a Film that came from Japan and eventually made it to America (Review coming at some point).  After all, if one of the guys behind The Blair Witch Project could remake a Danish Film, why not the other way around?  Well, it doesn't.  If anything, it has more to do with stuff like Uli Lommel's Boogeyman.  Is it good though?  To find out, read on...

A young woman moves to an off-Campus Apartment.  What could go wrong?

She finds that not all of her roommates are friendly.  Why not?  It isn't like she is sleeping with one of their ex-boyfriends.

...oh, now I get it.

So yeah, I hope you enjoy people not getting along in a confined space.

Oh and also weird ghost visions.

I'd love to say more about this Story and make jokes, but...there's not much going on here.  Any thoughts, Edgar Winter?

Finally, some killing!  All thirty seconds of big, dramatic moments at any point sure are worth it!

On the plus side, the Film does represent what it feels like when I have to get up early on Saturday mornings.

Just like that- I'm back!

Our heroine finally figures out that it relates to some murder that happened in the same Room and she must stop the ghost by making it see itself for what it is...or something.

It is an evil spirit and a mirror.  Do we still ask questions at this point?

At least the danger is over.  Or is it?!?

There's no Sequel, so...I guess, it is.  The End.

Ghosts.  They are either doing utter nonsense like knock random pots and pans down, molesting you (in fewer cases, admittedly) or just plain boring you.  Room 205 isn't a bad Movie.  However, I take issue with just about all of the descriptions of the Film on the DVD Cover (shown at the intro).  It is not 'Fast Paced.'  There's nothing wrong with being a little slow-paced if the journey is worth it in the end.  In this case, there was nothing all that special.  You don't have to be a completely unique and off-the-wall entry.  I still maintain that well-done, by-the-numbers stuff like Bunshinsaba: Witch Board are good.  This just didn't have much going for it when it started, never felt like it was progressing too much and ultimately did nothing new.  Secondly, it is not a 'Teen Slasher.'  Is there a different Room 205 that they watched?!?  I mean, there is...but it wasn't made until 4 years after this one, so I doubt he used time-travel to see the 2011 Remake, go back to the present of 2007 and then review *this* Film based on its merits.  Plus, it is a Remake.  Sorry, Denmark- you can do better than just copying South Korea and Japan.  If nothing else, just do what we do and hire foreign Directors to redo their old stuff for us again!  After all, Germany isn't above that kind of stuff.  Right, Maynard?

Next up, a combination of two Sub-Genres that usually fail to make me happy.  By the law of averages, this will either be great or utter crap.  Stay tuned...

Quick Reviews: When Animals Dream (2014)

When one person tells you that you'll like the Film, while another tells you that you won't, you kind of have to see it, right?

In a small Town in Denmark, this young woman is being tested by a Doctor for genetic issues that her mother has.

To help pay for her bills, she gets a job working with Herring.  To say that the atmosphere is not generally-friendly would be an understatement.

She does find one guy who's nice to her and makes her happy.  Can it last?

As things in her life change, so does her condition.  What exactly is happening to her?

Will her Father's concern be enough to help keep her (and everyone else safe)?

Or will the young lady's malady prove to be too dangerous for anyone to control?  To find out, watch the Film.  The End.

Dark, but good stuff.  The biggest thing the Film has going for it is its slow, building dread.  It really does make you feel like something bad is coming.  It truly is a slow burn.  That is the problem: it is a really slow burn.  I stuck with it (obviously), but I can see how some people may not.  The Tone is also quite bleak, which will hurt the Audience a bit too.  It is all done well though, so I'm good with it.  If you can stick with it, you get some good make-up work, some good Character Development and it all pays off pretty well.  They do leave some things a bit open, but I don't know if that is more about them wanting to make a Sequel or just being artistically-vague.  I recommend the Film if you like the more arty-kind of Horror.  Just remember that there are side effects besides just being a bit moody...

Nice, moody stuff.  It is a bit slow at times, but it is worth it all in the end.

After 'Blair Witch': Solstice

When in America, do as the Danish do.  This film is by Daniel Myrick, one of the two Directors behind The Blair Witch Project.  It's only fitting then that I begin this two-part look at his work with a film that's actually a remake.  Seriously, this movie is a remake of a horror film from Denmark.  Wow- are we that devoid of ideas?  Considering that one weekend this year saw both a remake of Conan the Barbarian and Fright Night, that might be true.  The film is notable for starring a couple of people, mostly Amanda Seyfried.  Before she got famous over here for being in 6,001 films in a month, she was doing crap like this in 2007.  Shawn Ashmore is here too, proving that identical twins can star in twice as many shit films as any normal man.  As a bonus, the film takes place in my home state, which I'm sure translates well from Danish.  Prepare to be underwhelmed as we celebrate the...

In a confusing narrative, our heroine is one of two twin sisters- ironic for a film starring a male twin- who is mourning the loss of, well, her other half.  Naturally, she goes on vacation to get over that.  Off to Alligator Alley...

Her best friend is played by Seyfriend, here sporting some dark, red hair.  That's what you get for being in a supporting role!

R. Lee Ermey is here as a local who acts really suspicious.  Is his last name Herring, first name Red?  Too subtle!

I'll spare you a play-by-play as the film meanders about for forty-plus minutes.  Does anything happen?  Aside from random ghosts and cars turning on, no.  Look away!

Fine- I'll talk about this movie more.  The local stud takes the group into a lake to do a ritual to talk to the ghost.  Nothing really happens, but something definitely could have.  On the plus side, it's not Witches of the Caribbean.

The movie takes a nice, long distraction by having our heroine break into Ermey's house, suspecting that he's up to something.  He's not.  Hey look- a ghost.

Want to know what this movie was building up to?  Do you really want to know?  SPOILERS below then...

About a year earlier, Ashmore and the twin ran over a girl in the town.  They covered it up, but the guilt drove the girl to suicide.  The ghost kills Ashmore and all is well...except for the dead people.  The End.

Thank God you only come four times a year!  The plot of this movie certainly sounds like it could be interesting.  Nice, good-looking people are haunted by a ghost- good.  Nice, good-looking people wander about while nothing happens- not so good.  This is not a terrible movie.  It is just a dull movie.  It is fine if you like this kind of stuff, but it did absolutely nothing for me.  On the plus side, it's not a rehash of Myrick's most famous work.

Next up, a rehash of Myrick's most famous work.  This time, it's in the desert and stuff actually happens.  Stay tuned...

WTF Denmark?!?: The Sinful Dwarf

This is one of those movies like Lady Terminator that just somehow did not get reviewed quickly. There is really no reason for it other than my absentmindedness or something else showing up to distract me. When stuff like Star Wreck or Eternal Evil of Asia hits my door, it distracts me from other things at the time. Well, allow me to make up for this oversight today. As for the other oversights (i.e. Hawk the Slayer, Mystics in Bali, etc), I'll get to them later. Today's film is a curious, Danish horror movie- which is something that is often forgotten about when compared to Italian or Spanish ones- about a young couple who moves into the wrong tenant dwelling. The film is full of odd characters, all of which surround a nice, nubile woman. Is it good though? Well, find out in the full review of...

The Sinful Dwarf

The story begins with a young couple trying to find a place to live. They are newlyweds, but money is tight. The husband, you see, has lost his job and needs to get a new one. The duo end up at a very unfriendly-looking apartment building that is run by a weird old lady and her son. By the way, her son is a dwarf, not that this is really a surprise. He is extremely-creepy and basically pictures the woman naked the whole time he leads them to their place. That night, the couple talk about tomorrow and have some nice 'only in a foreign film' sex. Does it add anything to the story? Nope. On the plus side- boobs. He leaves the next day to go find work, leaving our heroine to stay in the creepy place. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen! As if things could not get weirder, we learn that the mother likes to sit around her room and sing show tunes. She is hideous-looking and, as a bonus, has the dwarf playing piano for her. This is like Absolutely Fabulous, only not done ironically. I should also mention that there is still more salacious content to come. Is there more logic though? No, not really.

*

As it turns out, the apartment building has a secret. Up in the attic, the old lady and the dwarf keep a group of naked, drugged-out women. They use the police as a house of prostitution as well as a tenant dwelling. Of course, the police have no idea that all of these drifters are coming in and out of the same building on a regular basis. On top of that, a steady supply of drugs is shipped in to keep the women high and pliable. That one, they at least try to cover by having their drug dealer also be a toymaker. Mind you, he has been delivering lots of children's toys to a house with an old woman and a dwarf without any children. Every day, the husband leaves and the woman is left to just wander around the building. She gets too close to the truth, but finds out nothing just yet. The husband finally gets a job, but, in a lazy twist, it turns out to be for the man who delivers the drug-filled toys to the dwarf's building! This really is a small world, huh? All the while, the dwarf continues to be creepy. The plot is barely-moving, but at least he is interesting.

*

Finally, our heroine stumbles upon the room where the drugged out whores are kept, but sets off a loud, noisy toy in the process. She is grabbed by the old woman and dwarf & somehow overpowered. I get that you are a woman-in-peril, but how weak are you? They rip off her outer garments and chain her up, but she is magically-naked when we see her next time. It was sure nice of her to let them take off her underwear, huh? The husband is left with a fake note from the wife about how she could not take being married to him anymore, which he actually buys for a while! A policeman who has barely been seen at all begins to interject himself into the story and question the toymaker. Back at the house, our heroine has been given her first taste of the addictive drugs given to the women and is actually used by a customer! Our heroes finally figure out that something is going on, leading to a finale involving a shooting, some stabbing and a falling dwarf. I should mention again that they fail to stop the woman from being raped! The End.

*

Wow, this movie is...um, something. The plot moves at a really slow pace & they try to cover it with some nudity. That only worked for the first thirty minutes, guys! The blond who plays our lead heroine apparently did not work again after this movie, which is a shame. What's not a shame is that the director- who just reveled in the sleaze- seems to not have worked again either. The real selling point of this movie is the lead: Torbin Bille. As the titular dwarf, he steals the show in every scene he is in. You are not going to rent this movie for the plot though, are you? You want to see a salacious film starring an evil dwarf? In that regard, the movie does not disappoint. In every other aspect, it is not so good.

*

Next up, how else can I close up my look at flesh-eating films without covering the most famous one of all time? Was the movie worthy of being banned in over 25 countries? Stay tuned...