My Crazy Youth: The Time that 'Inhumanoids' Did a Whole Season in 20 Minutes!

Arguably the craziest Episode in the Series.  Considering that the core premise is that giant monsters live in the Earth and want to take over, that is saying a lot!

Inhumanoids- as a refresher- is a crazy '80s Cartoon about Earth Core (not EDF) battling the titular Beasts that have been awoken after thousands of years in captivity.  They've built up a number of Storylines throughout, which makes the Show stand out for a bit.

Want to watch 3 random Episodes of G.I. Joe or He-Man- no problem.  Continuity is loose.
Want to watch 3 random Episodes of Inhumanoids- you'll be a little lost.

So, with that in mind, here is my Summary of the Season (and Series, sadly) Finale...

As noted above, the Show had long (for the time) continuity.  So here's what you need to know...

Senator Masterson led a team to rescue the Statue of Liberty from Metlar (the red guy below).  Long story- we'll cover it separately.  He's been running for President on that feat...but nothing else.

Being battered in the Polls, he's approached by the Inhumanoids (and their human proxy) to do what they want in exchange for them taking out his rivals. 
He agrees. 
They do it.

Left at base alone, Auger (one of Earth Core) goes to the next Debate (now with just Masterson) and decides to run for President. 

His qualifications- "I used to be a Boxer.  Now I'm a member of Earth Core!"

That was all in SEVEN MINUTES!

To continue, another Inhumanoid- D'Compose- shows up and feigns fear of Masterson to help him win.  I'd like to think that this giant was just lurking underground waiting for Auger's unannounced arrival!

Jump cut to Election Day and...Auger wins! 
Hey, at least this unqualified guy did serve!

He's immediately kidnapped by the Inhumanoids.

We've now reached the 12 minute mark.  Keep going!

Earth Core and its allies- which includes Tree Men and Rock People- assemble to save the President-Elect! 
This includes a guy who was injured back in Episode 10 and obviously set up for a big moment here.

Cue epic battle. 
Skeleton Warriors! 
Bat Creatures! 
Lizard Slug Alien Things! 
Killer Statues!

We've still got 5 minutes!

Longtime enemy Blackthorn Shaw (great name!) shows up to save the Inhumanoids, but is partly-stopped by Tank- an ally established back in Episode 7 and not seen since Episode 8!- before he can end the day.

Right on cue, the giant crossbow that Auger was tied (while inside a man-sized glass bottle) to that would shoot him at the Earth's Molten Core (naturally!) fires and he's...saved by the new guy.

As the team recounts what happened, Auger- now in suit for no reason- decides that he doesn't want to be President anymore. 
He wasn't even sworn in!

Thus ends the Show in all its insane glory.

Holy crap!  

Was that not WAY more than 1 Episode should do?  

My best guess- they didn't feel sure of a second Season- good call- and just did something big and bold to end the Show.  

If they had been more confident, I would think that they would have set up this Plot, but let it simmer.  As noted, the Show was not just a bunch of one-offs, so this could have been possible.  

Have Auger balance running for President while battling the Inhumanoids.  

Lead up to the end of Season 2 with this and there's a second finale.  

I should note that I'm not even counting a brief Sub-Plot where one of them is now a Commercial Celebrity, which includes a fake Commercial in-universe.  

This is the kind of crazy that I love.  

Go out with a bang, you crazy bastards!

Easily the most insane, but also somewhat-built-up 22 minutes of your life (with credits).  Where is someone other than Michael Bay to make this into a Film Series?!?

'80s Fun: Inhumanoids- The Movie

At long last, I can talk about...slightly more of this mostly-forgotten Show.  Today's Film is Inhumanoids: The Evil That Lies Within, although the history here is a bit complicated.  Basically, Inhumanoids started life as a series of Shorts that would run on a Cartoon Block with other Sunbow Shows on Saturday Mornings.  That explains why the Show would often set up quick scenarios- usually Cliffhangers- and then cut to something else.  When the ones they made did well, the idea was expanded and a Show was born!  To make things more complicated, Sunbow did its usual trick and made the first 5 Episodes into one continuous Story.  That was enough to make up a 'Movie' that could then be released on VHS and later DVD.  As far as the latter goes, however, there is a catch.  As noted in my original Review of the Show, Rhino bought the rights to the Show and released these 5 together as a Set and then the next 4 Episodes as Part 2 (as covered back in 2014).  With only 4 left to go (as the Show only lasted for 1 Season), they...didn't bother releasing any more.  What in the what, Rhino?!?  So while I wait for those 4 Episodes to appear (hint, hint!), I'll make due with the Film.  Basically, evil Monsters once buried inside of the Earth are now free and shit is going down.  Can our Heroes save the day?  Can the Inhumanoids be stopped?  Can this freaky Cartoon have really been meant for kids?  To find out, read on...

Two creatures- D'Compose and Tendril- are freed after Decades of captivity and run rampant on the Earth!

Enter Earth Corps, a slightly-less-silly-than-the-Centurions group of Scientists and Adventurers.

They put on their silly-looking suits and go into action!  The Creatures flee, but only to go after their other ally...

One of the group is greeted by some freaky Tree Monsters that exposition dump all over him.

Basically, they held the trio of Inhumanoids- including their Leader called Metlar- captive for so long, but now the Earth is in danger.

The other threat- an evil Businessman with an eye patch.

Thankfully, he betrays his Sister, who subsequently joins the Team and funds them on their mission.

Unfortunately, she falls prey to D'Compose's power to turn people into giant mutants with a single touch.  In hindsight, maybe wear that Helmet!

Credit where credit is due- they don't SPOIL this reveal in the opening Credits or that D'Compose can do this.

Metlar is freed in the chaos and the Inhumanoids attack a Russian Military Base with their mutants made by D'Compose and animated statues created by Metlar.  No, really.

Is it also worth asking who made these giant statues or the hundreds of ones they stole from Gettysburg?

It all leads to a big battle in the center of the Earth as our Heroes must survive and stop some missiles from firing that will cool the Earth's core.

In a bit of an anti-climax, the Missiles are stopped and all of the Villains are taken out with ease.  They do set up a piece of Tendril being loose for Episode 6 though.  The End.

Inhumanly-silly.  The whole thing is all sorts of ridiculous.  Think about it for a second: sentient Trees and Rocks locked up three Monsters inside of the Earth.  Four Scientists with Metal Super Suits have to go and fight them in order to save the World.  It all ties together, right?  Naturally, I love this!  I love ridiculous stuff, so I was sold.  Metlar reanimating Civil War Soldiers.  D'Compose turning people into giant Mutants.  Nuclear Missiles being shot at the Earth's Core.  The main Villain being controlled by a giant magnet!  Inhumanoids is just a bizarre treat for those of us that love 1980s stuff.  It is surprisingly-freaky for a Kid's Show/Movie, especially the part with the transformation.  Seeing that lady turned into a giant, horned Monster sure must have been scarring!  As a Film, it is a bit choppily-put together.  After all, it wasn't actually made as a Film.  Having said that, this thing is pretty rare, but a nice treat for crazy people like us.  Dig the Cinematic Panels!

Next up, a Film far more notable for the sad occurrences after it was filmed.  Is the Film itself good though?  Stay tuned...

Forgotten Toons: Inhumanoids

How the hell did I miss this show when I was a kid?!?  Inhumanoids was brought into this world in 1986 and...boy could it NOT be made today.  As best I can figure, I was too young for it- being only three when it ran for its one Season.  I don't ever recall seeing this in Syndication like so many other shows that came out before my time, but I saw later.  I wasn't even born when Thundarr originally-aired, but Boomerang played it enough for me to become obsessed.  At this point, I'm fairly-sure that there was a conscious effort to keep me from watching this, as I had somewhat 'overprotective' parents.  I turned out alright (up for debate, I know), but I was never allowed to have fake guns of any kind.  I was allowed to watch G.I. Joe, but not to play G.I. Joe.  I don't have a kid, so I can't judge (yet).  Made at the same time as other Sunbow Productions like Jem and the Holograms, the show is very dark, crazy and very much of the '80s.  Creatures from the center of the Earth are wreaking havoc and only Earth Corps can stop them.  Once you get past the stock aspect of it, you can really appreciate the bizarre designs and concepts behind the creatures.  While I only got a partial look at the show (more on that later), check out what craziness there is...

The Inhumanoids are creatures of varying sizes and creepiness.  Metlar is a giant, red dude with horns, while D'Compose is a yellow dinosaur with an exposed ribcage.  Crazy shit!

This is the Earth Corps, a group of Scientists that work to keep them in line.  I was forced to come into the show late, so I was mostly playing catch-up.  I can enjoy these silly suit designs though.

Even in Episode 6, the Show is nice enough to recap.  For example, Metlar has henchman that are animated statues from Gettysburg.  'Words fail me, gentleman.'

That is another thing that this show did differently- a continuous narrative.  If you watched Episodes 8 and 9 of this show, there would be continuous build-up.  If you watched Episodes 8 and 9 of G.I. Joe, it would just be two Episodes that existed independently.

Here's a taste of what the Show is like, here are snippets of what happened in the parts I saw...

In Episode 6, a rogue A.I. and Tendril- a Cthulhu-like Inhumanoid- team-up to conquer the world.  It sets some crazy shit involving the other Inhumanoids and this eye-threatening cave.

In Episode 7, those pesky Russians (having appeared earlier) try to flood a cave in the center of the Earth.  This forces Inhumanoids and Earth Corps members to team up, since this would kill us all...somehow.

After that, we see the main villain bring back D'Compose and use him to create the freaky Nightcrawler (more on him later), as well as making Zombies.

Why they grow to twice their size when zombified is anyone's guess.

In the final Episode available (Episode 9), the polarity of the Earth's magnetic core is reversed (don't ask!) and a now-good Metlar must help save the day.  You see, since the polarity was reversed, he's now good.

I don't question any of this.

Seeing this show as an Adult in 2014 is amazing!  It is not the greatest Show by any stretch of the imagination.  I remind you again that THIS was allowed on a Kid's Show in 1986!  Holy shit.

Interesting to note, there is a connective thread between the Sunbow Production Shows- Hector Ramirez.  He's a TV Reporter who showed up on G.I. Joe, Transformers, this and Jem!  Good for you, dated-Geraldo parody.

Inhumanoids was a crazy Show that was just way too freaky and dark for when it was made.  If someone came up with this same idea now, it would end up on Adult Swim between the current iteration of Aqua Teen and whatever Tim & Eric are shitting out these days.  If you are a fan of similar Shows from this time period like G.I. Joe and others, you need to check this out.  Here's the strange part (like Nightcrawler being put on trial in this Episode)...

There is no current DVD Release for this Show!  In 2001, it got two Four-Episode Releases...which didn't even complete the Series.  Said DVDs have been Out of Print for years.  Years!  This expression (which is sure to haunt your dreams) sums up my feeling on the matter!

Seriously, release this Show properly on DVD or Blu-Ray!  I'm waiting!!!