Shudder Day: Tales from the Crypt- 'None but the Lonely Heart'

 Another Episode of this HBO Show with an unexpected Director.

Mama always said that Life is like Directing a Horror Show Hosted by a Puppet.

This is...

'None but the Lonely Heart' is about an older lady (Frances Sternhagen) and her Butler (Henry Gibson) who just want to live out the golden years.

They get the attention of a conman and killer (Treat Williams) who is a Bluebeard.

His old Wives give him money and then die pretty much right away.

Shockingly, people are asking questions.

Treat and Morty.

He finds her via a Dating Service (run by Tom Hanks in Arliss glasses).

This is 1992, so this is via VHS Tapes and we even see Hanks complain about 'cleaning the heads' on his VCR.

Treat woos the woman and things are going right.

He just needs one last payday (that always goes well), but he's getting strange notes from someone who knows what he's up to.

This drives the guy a bit mad and he goes around killing everyone off, from his buddy Morty (the gray haired guy), Hanks, the Butler and even...Sugar Ray Leonard (who plays a Gravedigger)?!?

He manages to kill his last Wife, but he gets another note.

It all leads to him being confronted by the zombified versions of his dead Wives.
He dies.

The End.

A fun Episode, but that finale is a bit routine.

To be fair, this is based on a 1950s Comic.
To also be fair, it was rewritten for a 1992 TV Show.

Maybe mix it up a bit or at least set up the Zombie reveal.
They only do that by way of the notes, I guess.

Complaints about the Ending aside, Williams is great as this bad guy.  He's so charming and then so evil.
When he snaps, it feels authentic and a bit scary.

All in all, it's a fun Episode with a cliche Ending that doesn't make much sense.
It's a Big deal.

An Episode that is enjoyable, dark and fairly routine.  Being Directed by Tom Hanks is a fun anomaly though.

Shudder Day: Tales from the Crypt - 'King of the Road'

This Episode features a famous Guest Star.
This Episode also feels very different- and there's a reason for that.

Before all that, let's dive right into...

The Cryptkeeper appears and talks about how he's in a Theater Troupe.

This has nothing to do with the Story whatsoever and...well, there's a reason for that.

The Story is about a young, brash and tattooed guy- Brad Pitt- who is a Street Racer.

He bests someone in a classic car and moves on to a new conquest.

Apparently, the town Sheriff used to be a racer named Iceman (was his name Bobby) and is hiding from his old life.

Mostly because there's a manslaughter charge against him (presumably from a race).

Pitt tries to bait him into racing him and goes after his Daughter.

He doesn't take kindly to his actions, beating the guy up when he's at his House with his Daughter.

Pitt drops the other shoe by threatening to out him if he doesn't race.

Oh, and he's also got his Daughter hostage.

Their date went south really fast!

The Sheriff goes to his old buddy, who has apparently been keeping his car in racing shape for all of these years.
I have no follow up questions.

The pair have a race!

Pitt wins, but his celebration is short-lived as he runs into a construction vehicle!

He tries to get one last bit of pain in by making the car explode, but the guy gets away in time.

Cool explosion, bro.

The End.

A fun Episode, but how is this a Tales from the Crypt Episode?

Aside from the Intro and Outro & the ironic fate of the villain, this feels different.

Well, it is different.

In 1992, the Producers tried to expand their brand by making a Pitch Pilot Movie called Two Fisted Tales.
The idea was to adapt ANOTHER 50s Comic into an Anthology Show.  This one is more about Action than Horror.

The Pilot had three Segments.

When it didn't sell, the 3 Segments were then released as 3 different Episodes of Tales from the Crypt.

So yeah, this one is good, but different for reasons that aren't as obvious 34 years (and 2 days) after the airing.

I am now looking for Two Fisted Tales to watch/Review, but all I've found so far is...

An enjoyable, albeit out of place Episode.  Why do I keep running into Brad Pitt in these?

Shudder Day: Tales from the Crypt- 'Collection Completed'

 37 years (and one day) ago, the 5th and final Episode of Season 1 aired.

Yes, the Season was only 5 Episodes.
I don't know why.

With a big name as the Lead, let's check out the Episode known as...

It is a big day!

A hard-working man is retiring after 47 years and his Wife threw him a party!

However, the guy- who I'm sure that you'll recognize- is a grump and never realized how much his Wife (of many Decades) loved animals.

I guess he was oblivious all of the time between working 6 days a week.

He can't adjust to life at home due to minor slights like sitting on a cat toy or accidentally being fed tuna cat food and not normal tuna!

He can't stand the animals.

Not one bit!

He takes it out on the poor plants in the backyard, while his Wife loves every animal that could come by.

He hides in his basement for about 2 weeks working on his 'new hobby.'

As it turns out, he's decided to take up Taxidermy- starting with every animal in and around the House!

He's down to the final pet- a cat named Mew Mew- now.

She grabs the golden hammer he got as a retirement gift (Chekhov's Hammer) and kills him with it.

Later, the nosy Neighbor shows up and sees that she's Taxidermized him!
The End!

A simple, but quirky tale of insanity.

This one walks the line between being funny and dramatic.  It was co-written by SNL alum A. Whitney Brown, so that makes sense.

The tale is simple enough.  The man never spent enough time at home and awake to see how the Wife really was.
Either he had to learn to live with it or find a way to change things.

Needless to say, his choice was the wrong one!

All of these Tales are based on EC Comics, but this one does remind me of a *different* one about a clean, organized General and his new Wife.

The guy was Terry-Thomas, but he met a similar fate.

See 'The Vault of Horror' for more details.

A quirky little tale about suburban insanity.  The Actors really make the simple narrative get more weight in its shortened runtime.

Shudder Day: 'Tales from the Crypt' Has the Original 'Obsession'

 An Episode that sounds like a present day (as of writing) Film is pretty rare.

As such, let's celebrate the Season 3 Premiere (of 3 Episodes) and it how it might have inspired a surprise Box Office Success.

This is...

The Cryptkeeper introduces this tale of unrequited love, uncontrollable obsession and life in Los Angeles in the '90s. 

A would-be Screenwriter- Andrew McCarthy- is obsessed with a lady in his building- Mariel Hemmingway- and fantasizes about her as what we would now call a Trad Wife.

An especially horny, at that.

The problem- she's not that.  At all.

She will barely have anything to do with the guy, which he does somewhat bring upon himself a number of times.

Credit where credit is due for the nuance.

After (rightfully) being rejected, his landlord (David Hemmings)- who never leaves his room- calls him in.

He feels bad for the guy and offers him a love potion.

The guy from 'Deep Red' got Deeply Creepy

She takes a drink from him and the potion works.

Unfortunately for the guy, it works too well.
She's quite literally obsessed with him and won't leave his side.

Seen here before things got really bad.

He makes a temporary escape and learns that this potion has never worked out well for previous users.  Thanks for the late update, David!

He gives him a new potion and McCarthy tries to drug her again.
She switches the glasses unknowingly, however, and dies from the poison.

His peace in Heaven is soon interrupted by Mariel's arrival.  She jumped out the window when he died and apparently wounds carry over to the Afterlife.

She's here to stay.
The Ed!

I haven't seen 'Obsession,' but this can't also be the Ending.

A well-made Episode that unfortunately suffers from some odd Pacing.  Sorry, Tom Mankiewicz

Positives first- Hemmingway is very good here.  She plays both versions of the Character quite convincingly.
McCarthy is pretty good here, being just the right amount of pathetic and exasperated.

He often looks like a younger David Hemmings too, but that is likely a coincidence.

My issue is that the Story takes too long to get to the hook.  As such, the final part with her being, well, obsessed is too short.

I think it should have happened at the end of Act 2- at the latest.  Give us more time to see the irony and show how it is more than just not letting him out of bed.

This all goes back to a 1940 story called 'The Chaser' (as in the drink term) that was then adapted into an EC Comics tale and then a 1960 Episode of The Twilight Zone.  Is it worth a comparison review?

Regardless, this works pretty well, but I just think the Pacing keeps it from true greatness.

They cut out the Alchemist in this Episode.

Next time, Season 3's debut continues with an Episode by the Writer of many '80s Classics.  Throw in a Twin Peaks Actor and this can't lose, right?  See you then...

Shudder Day: 'Tales from the Crypt' - 'Only Sin Deep'

 Let me continue to cover this Anthology Show with more from Season 1.

In the 4th Episode, a woman is obsessed with her own beauty.
This won't end well.

Sylvia Vane (Lea Thompson) is a Hooker who is obsessed with herself.

She also wants to be rich.

And yes, her last name is Vane.
She's either in a Horror Show or a future Batman Villain.

She kills a Pimp who offends her and tries to get a way out by pawning his jewelry.

Desperate, she agrees to trade her beauty to the Pawn Shop Owner.
She must pay him back in 4 months.

With this money, she glams herself up and goes to meet a man at a fancy party.

The man- Brett Cullen- falls for her and everything is great.

She has everything she's ever wanted.

What could go wrong?

Her beauty starts to fade and she has no idea why.

She finally figures out why and pays the guy back...too late.

She needs more money, so she robs the guy she was with for all of this time.

He comes home and she kills him.

She tries to buy her beauty back, only to learn that if she gets it, she'll be convicted for murder and be executed.

What a choice.  The End.

A pretty simple tale of vanity, greed and anger.

These are never complex tales.  There's almost always a simple moral and ironic twist or two.

What matters is how they do it.

This one works thanks to Leia Thompson fully committing to the role.  She's willing to play against type and the Episode benefits from that.

Howard Deutch was the Director and is actually married to Thompson (they married the same Year that this Episode was made).  He gets a good performance out of her and the rest of the Cast.

The makeup work sells things without being too over the top.  Good stuff.

A good production and there is worse make-up work when it comes to stuff with Lea Thompson in it...

Next time, I'm taking a jump to Season 3.  It's an Episode by a guy heavily connected to my look at James Bond, so this is fitting.  See you then...

Shudder Day: 'Tales From The Crypt' - 'Lover Come Hack to Me!'

 An Episode with some interesting people behind the Scenes that made it happen.

It was Written by Michael McDowell, a prolific Author famous for co-Writing Beetlejuice, The Nightmare Before Christmas and the Film adaptation of Thinner.

The Director was Tom Holland, the guy behind Fright Night (and also Thinner) and NOT the Spider-Man one.

With big names behind it, let's see what we get with...

A man marries a rich lady (Amanda Plummer).

He makes it clear to the Aunt that he's taking the lady away and going to get all of the money.

Can you trust a guy who looks like a Samurai Cop?

Their honeymoon is derailed by bad weather and car issues.

They end up at her old House and the guy eventually gets her to come to bed with him.
Apparently, they have never even been undressed around each other.

It all goes well, even as he plans to kill her later that night.

He's woken by a strange sound and sees his new Wife meeting a guy outside.

He watches on in shock as they make love and she talks just like she did with him.

Unlike with him, she takes the nearby axe and kills him!
He tries to stop her, but can't make contact.

She's a ghost!

He's jolted awake by this and greeted by his new Wife.

He tells her what he saw and she doesn't dispute it.

She has the axe now and is going to kill him, since everything is 'perfect' and will only 'get worse.'

He confesses his plans to kill her, thinking that it will help, and draws the gun he brought.

He goes to fire, but there's no bullets and he's chopped up.

In the aftermath, Widow and Aunt talk about her future Daughter.
The End.

A simple, but twisted tale.

The Story itself is not some big, amazing one full of twists and turns.

Like most of these, it is adapted from a 50s-60s Horror Comic.

The thing that makes this one stand out more than it might otherwise is the execution.
Pun fully intended.

The way it is all framed, the bit with the ghost and the whole package really helps.

This is the key difference between just doing a Horror Story and doing one with a great Writer (who we lost in 1994) and Director.

It may not be anyone's favorite Tales from the Crypt Episode, but it went a step above for me.

A solid Episode and simple Premise that was definitely improved with the talent on board.  It's like using the really good, fancy cheese when you make lasagna.

Shudder Day: 'Tales From the Crypt'- 'Dig That Cat...He's Real Gone'

 A look back at the final 3rd of the Show's actual Premiere.

When it debuted, the Show had 3 Segments run back-to-back-to-back.  I covered the first one, but I'm skipping the 2nd one (since it is Christmas themed).

As such, let's take a different look at death in...

Like the first one, we get a Cryptkeeper Intro and then an Intro from the Lead Character.

I'm curious to see when this drops off and why.

In any event, this guy- Joe Pantoliano- is bragging about how he can't die and stay dead...from inside of a coffin.

In a flashback, he shows us that he was a hard on his luck guy who met with a Scientist.

The guy did an experiment on him that involved transplanting an organ from a cat that is somehow the thing that 'gives it nine lives.'

Now he's got it.

After the Doctor shoots him (one life down) to prove that it would work, he comes up with a get rich plan.

The Doctor pitches an Act where the guy dies and comes back to life.
Robert Wuhl is just crazy enough to try it.

Yes, this is from later, but I take the Caps I can get it.

And so the man- Ulric- begins a series of limited engagement Shows where, he, well, dies.

After the crowd nearly leaves the first time, things are escalated with very gimmicks such as hanging or an Archery Gallery.

He eventually betrays the Doctor, since he's greedy.
Another life down.

The cumulative effects are starting to pile up (something later used in Happy Death Day) and he's even betrayed by the beautiful Carny Woman when he gets rich.

He sets up one last trick in which he'll get 100% of the profits.

It is only then that he (sort of, but not really) miscounted- since the Cat lost one of its lives- and he'll die for real.

This actually doesn't track, but, regardless, The End!

A fun, flashy Tale of irony and greed.

For starters, this one was Directed by Richard Donner, who is one of the 47 Producers on this Show.  As such, it looks great and is dynamically Filmed.

With the Sideshow Theme, they often make you feel like you're really in the Audience.

It also helps that we have some strong Leads like Pantoliano (hot off of The Goonies) and Wuhl (hot off of Batman).  They make this one really stand out.

The build up with the character is nice as he's not a great guy first and you can see things really go to his head.  When he gets his comeuppance at first, you're sad...but he also deserved it.

A pretty simple Moral on display here.  Given that this is based on a '50s Comic, that tracks.

Now can I do an 'Alas Poor Urich' joke if the other guy is also a Skeleton?

A fun example of the style and charm of the Show.  With good Actors and a great Director, you can't go wrong.