Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Human Buffet: Feast II

When we last left our heroes...well, most were dead. A couple survived and went into town. Little did they know that trouble would follow them in...
The film begins with an angry biker lady showing up and dragging the Bartender by force. See, I told you that he would be back. They arrive in town and discover that the monsters are there too. But, before we get to that, let's introduce eighteen new characters.
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Yeah, that narrative pretty much grinds to a halt for about twenty minutes or so there. Basically, you get two midget key-makers, a used car salesman, his wife, her lover, the sheriff, the town drunk and numerous other corpses. They give a small role to Tom Gulager, who is the brother of the director and the son of 'The Bartender.' Do we have enough Gulagers in the movie yet?
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Finally, once the gang gets into town, they do battle with the monsters, who are finally visible in broad daylight. Wow, there's no way they can ruin this.
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What follows is lots of dark humor (including the wrestlers' mother slowly decaying from monster acid) and bodily fluid scenes. A nearly ten minute scene involves our surviving heroes doing an autopsy on one of the monsters. Why? Good question. If you ever wanted to see people get pissed on by a giant, latex monster, this is your movie though. We also get a scene where the Bartender beats the snot out of Honey Pie (the blood-soaked waitress) because she left him for dead. It's not like he was lying on the ground dead with his throat ripped out. Oh wait, he was.
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The biggest problem with the movie is the plot. The Biker Queen and her companions want to kill Balthazar Getty's character for using the Biker lady as a bomb in the last movie. Sounds plausible, right? So what is the payoff? Um...there is none. Other than the drunk being beaten up for being the guy's uncle, we get nothing. Mr. Getty was too busy to make this movie, I guess. So a gross movie with no payoff to the story. Well, it can't get any worse. Hold on...
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After numerous outdoor scenes, the movie stages the last twenty minutes or so on the roof of a building. This is accomplished by the worst green screen effect since the last cable access commercial you've seen. 'The Soup' is more convincing. They could not shoot on an actual roof after the dozen or so scene shot outside earlier? Oh, that and the movie ends in mid-battle. What is this- Shaolin vs. the Evil Dead?
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This movie could have been really good. Instead, they lost what little subtlety they had and made a Troma film. While I like actually seeing the monsters, I did not need to see their monster genitals and internal organs. I could have lived without that, Mr. Gulager. 'Feast II' disappoints as it impresses. That is a curious achievement in fimmaking. If you see want to see really bad filmmaking, check out the sequel...to the sequel.
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More giant, ugly monsters and uglier people. Stay tuned...

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