Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Forgotten Three-quels: Lake Placid 3

Syfy Channel- give it up!  After Lake Placid was a surprise hit in 1998, a sequel was made...Direct-to-DVD...nearly ten years later.  Evidently, the film was profitable enough for yet another sequel.  The catch- no returning actors, plus Maine is being 'doubled' by Romania.  Instead of an actor who's career is defined by a TV show he made in the '70s, we get the star of a Syfy Channel series (Eureka).  I guess if we give them enough time and we'll see Lake Placid 4 starring Michael Shanks (from Stargate SG:1), Lake Placid 5 starring Pete Lattimer (from Warehouse 13) and Lake Placid 6 starring the team from Ghost Hunters!  Colin Ferguson is a good actor from what I've seen, but boy is he wasted here.  If you like your actors in a state of permanent confusion/bemusement, you're in luck!  Are you properly-prepared to be disappointed?  Good.  Let's put away our meat vests before our stop in...
After the opening credits, a couple goes out to the lake to have sex, but get eaten by baby alligators.
Said alligators grow much bigger in the THREE YEAR time-jump made in the film as Ferguson is now a resident of the town and works for the Fish & Game Agency.
 He suspects for a long time that crocodiles are still in the lake, a fact that upsets the new Sheriff (Michael Ironside).  Even after they find a dead, prop deer, he's still not a believer.
I should mention that the DVD version is the Unrated Version.  Can you tell yet?
In one of the film's many sub-plots, a man hires a well-worn Yancy Butler to find his girlfriend (the brunette above).  The trip doesn't go well since, well, they're on the titular lake.
The crocodiles find their way home (since Ferguson lives in the sister's house from Lake Placid 2) and eat some people.  Gotta love that CG.
Life doesn't go well for the hunters.  You won't believe who gets shot and why...because it's really stupid.
The battle moves into the studio back-drop town and the crocodiles chase them into a store.  Way to re-use those sets, guys!
The film's climax involves a gas station, a crocodile and some laughable, CG gore.  Boom goes the crocodile.  The End.
We're back- a crocodile tale!  The plot of this movie is a bit of a stretch, at least the way it's done.  Here's the thing- there is too much plot and too little focus.  We have the Ferguson sub-plot, the kid's sub-plot, the hikers' sub-plot and the hunters' sub-plot (which is itself mixed with the one guy's sub-plot).  The bottom line: there is too much going on here to ever get a vested interest.  Characters die in bursts or at random, while others survive ridiculous amounts of damage.  Note how durable the Russian nanny and Yancy Butler are!  Speaking of Yancy, hard-living is not good for you.  Kids, if you plan to start drinking, just compare a picture of her from the Witchblade show and one from here!  The Special Effects here are usually worse than in Lake Placid 1 and 2, which is astounding.  Mind you, the original film was made by a major studio, but the latter was not.  Even the good actors here (Ferguson and Ironside) do not bring this movie up.  There is a certain humorous appeal to be had here and the Unrated cut does have nudity, but it still sucks overall.  Did I just blow your mind?
Next up, William Peter Blatty delivers his second (and final- so far) film with a sequel to his own work.  My question- why is Fabio in it?  Stay tuned...


  1. You know, I watched this and had the unfortunate handicap of seeing the "R"-rated version, so I think I missed out on all the groovy sex stuff. :\ I'm sure it still sucked either way. But that said, it was much better than LP2, which nearly killed my interest in killer croc/gator movies forever.

  2. a bit better than Part 2 but still pretty shitty