Holiday Flix: Santo in The Witches Attack! (1968)

 A yearly look at Lucha Cinema is something I always look forward to.

This is El Santo in The Witches Attack, a 1968 Action/Horror Film.  This is at a good midpoint in his Film career- which ran until 1982- and features many familiar things.

Lots of fighting.  Black and white mood.  Ladies in miniskirts.

The Plot involves a woman who fears that she'll be sacrificed by a Witch and only El Santo can save her!  He's a spry 50-51 years old at this time.
There wasn't a younger Luchador who could help- Rey Mysterio Jr. wasn't born yet.

This one does a few unique things that are worth mentioning.
Are they enough to make this not too familiar?

To find out, read on...

The Film actually has a Cold Open where this lady monologues about the danger she's in from some Witches and that only El Santo (not named by her) can save her.

He fights masked thugs and is captured, but then breaks free and makes a cross with his arms...

...and that was all a dream.  

The Woman has been having very vivid nightmares ever since she moved into her Parents' house to get the money willed to her.

Her Sister tells her to stay.

Her fiancée Arturo (who was in the dream too) meets with El Santo after hearing about her dream.  He knows the guy.

What luck!

He explains the situation with the house and will to our Hero...and that the Sister is not who she claims to be!

She might even be- wait for it- a Witch!

This leads to the 2nd of what feels like a dozen (more like 6) prolonged Fight Scenes with El Santo, this time with unmasked guys (but clearly the same ones)...and there's no a third guy.

He doesn't find the proof he needs.

The Witches are real, of course, and doing exactly what was in the dream.

They capture and control Arturo with a magical spell.

Santo saves our Heroine from them again, but they flee...again.

It's not a Luchador Film without one unnecessary Wrestling Match Scene.

This has one that runs about 5 minutes.

The Witches have nigh unlimited power at their disposal thanks to the dark arts and their infernal Masters!

They...summon a single spider (seemingly made by a preschooler) to kill Santo.
It fails.

They do capture the woman again and she appears to escape...again.

She meets with Santo and tells him where to go.

Surprise- it was the Witch all along!

They capture Santo at Fight #22 (or 6) and chain him down for the sacrifice.

He breaks the chains...which shouldn't surprise them since he's DONE IT TWO OTHER TIMES and fights them.

Outnumbered, he resorts to their weaknesses (which the Witch recounted to the audience earlier) and returns with a big cross.
He waves it around and they all die.

The End.

A Film that is very similar to many Santo Films, but with some extra, spooky aesthetics.

The Plot is pretty simple- so much so that it is laid out in the opening minutes.
Not much changes from that setup explained to us then- we just see it play out.

I guess Horror can be about NOT surprising you.

To be fair, I might be judging this through the wrong point of view.

These Films were made for a broad audience and likely ran as Matinees in Santo's homeland of Mexico.

People weren't looking for great Acting or amazing Plots.  This is very similar to watching a spooky Episode of the Adam West Batman TV Show.

I own the whole Series on DVD and watch it every weekend, so clearly, I don't hate the formula.

This one gets a few points of credit for adding the spooky stuff, but is otherwise a fairly copy-paste adventure.
There's really no difference between these Witches having male henchmen and the Mad Scientists/Vampires having them.

Speaking of Vampires, this...goes nowhere.

A pretty fun, if familiar El Santo Film.  If you want one of these with a few new tricks, give it a watch.

Tubi Thursday: Fear Chamber (1968/1971)

 Another look at one of the final Boris Karloff Films.

This is another one of the quartet he filmed his parts for in 1968, but the Film was finally released in 1971.

The Film opens oddly with two people walking around in what's supposed to be a deep, underground cave.  They're looking for...something.

Meanwhile, the Father- Karloff- of the lady down there is on the phone with her the whole time...somehow.

After this, we get a prolonged bit where a woman goes to bed- making sure we see her in her underwear- before strangers turn her room into, well, a Dungeon.

She's scared, chased around and scared some more before coming face to face with Karloff in robes.

What's going on?

Well, here's the silly truth- they found a strange rock and the only thing it feeds on his pineal gland juices from people who are very scared.

How they found that out is anyone's guess.
Why they agree to elaborate rituals to scare, take juices from and then release women is also a good question to ask.

While this is going on, one lady is scheming and willing to do anything to get the creature's secrets.

She mentions once that the property of it is 'like diamonds.'

Now he's obsessed with 'getting diamonds' and becoming 'king of the world.'

This Film will go on.

After a lady dies- in a shorter ceremony- Karloff nearly also dies.

In the aftermath, he gets his Daughter and her boyfriend to stop working on the stuff.

The other two keep it up.

We then randomly get a lecture an hour in from Karloff to camera about how they found the creature.

...um, thanks?

Things go poorly for the scheming duo as the dumb guy 'bonds' with the creature and tries to kill her.
She's fed to the creature, while our...Heroes, I guess, try to stop it.

They manage to freeze the creature- who we still barely see- as the lab nearly burns down.

The happy couple survives with grandpa.

The End.

A Film that is confusing, salacious and just kind of bizarre.

To summarize, Scientists find a living rock and start terrifying random ladies to feed it.
Sure- why not?!?

This is the good kind of ridiculous at times, with the prolonged scare sequence being notable.  Too bad there's only one Scene like it.

The creatures is never fully in frame and just kind of exists in random, scattered closeups.
We only see a limb in the last 10 minutes.

This is the kind of crazy that had potential, but just kind of disappoints.
I wanted to love it- if only for Karloff- but I can't.  
Just like I can't love this terrible AI created image used on Tubi.

I nearly didn't watch it because of this.

A Film that starts out crazy and then just kind of peters out.  Oh well, Karloff didn't have to ever see it!

Santo de Mayo: El Santo in 'Fury of the Karate Experts' (1982)

 Happy Whatever This Day Means to You, everyone!

For me, it is another reason to watch an El Santo Film.  Viva El Santo!

For those who don't know, El Santo was a world famous Luchador for Decades and parlayed that into a Film Career that lasted from the 1960s to the early 1980s.  The catch- he was always El Santo.

For all of the (rightful) lambasting that Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson gets for 'always being Dwayne' in his Movies, at least he's actually playing someone else!

This is 1982's Fury of the Karate Experts, which would be his final Film.  He retired from the ring that same year and died in 1984.

As a fun bonus, this Movie was shot in large parts in Florida- specifically down WAY South in and around Coral Castle.  It's still there too...and was featured in Nude on the Moon.

The Plot is all kinds of silly, involving a magic rock, a jungle girl, so-called Karate Experts/Masters, two twins with massive twins (wink) and El Santo parachuting in to join a Wedding.

Get out your sombreros as we face...

An evil space lady has shown up in Florida and finds out that her good twin is planning to marry, consolidating her powers.

She's very upset...so she, of course, immediately 'decides to celebrate' with a dance.

Santo and his buddy arrive for the Wedding (via parachutes, as noted above).

He knows them, I guess.

There's a Film with a similar Title listed with the same release year- The Fist of Death- which seems to also be this Movie (based on the Screenshots).

So is this a Sequel?  Maybe?
Does it matter?  Nah.

The evil lady has this masked Wrestler on her side and he takes out one of the titular Heroes.

It's clearly a Mexican guy in a pantyhose mask with a glued on ponytail.

On the plus side, he takes out the guy with a looo-oong bearhug.
This one's for you, Bob!

The evil Twin keeps doing stuff to stop the wedding, like burning down part of the house and attacking with the Wrestler...to cover up stealing the wedding gifts.

She also summons a Werewolf that, well, would give the most recent Wolfman a run for his money for the Award of Most Disappointing Werewolf Make-Up.  

Another fight between Santo and the Wrestler ends in the former going down after some outside assistance.

The evil Twin is able to mind control him.

He's sent to kidnap 'the blonde' at the hosue.

In a B-Plot, we get a Scientist (played by Rene Cardona Sr) and his Daughter nearby.

He mistakes her for 'the blond' and socks her in the face.
Damn!

The Plot becomes really convoluted as it goes on.

We have a Prince (to be married to the actual Blonde) who is kidnapped and replaced with a double.

Then the evil Twin knocks out the good one to replace here in this...less than great split screen effect.

Oh, and said Blonde (aka The Jungle Girl) was apparently sent from the stars.

That sure is something, eh?

The Film's climax has Santo and the man battling some...I think Werewolves (now in ape masks) and the evil Wrestler.

All but Santo die and he has to stop the sacrifice of the Girl.

On cue, the double explodes and the villain just leaves, ducking out behind a fire effect.

And so, Santo's final film appearance (save a cameo in his Son's first Film) involves him listening to a glowing space rock.

It says that the Girl must leave...and she does.  The (abrupt) End.

A truly bizarre Film and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

The Plot involves space twins, a talking rock, karate fighters, two masked wrestlers and a blond lady just getting punched in the face!

Santo is clearly a bit too old for this, with his weight belt yanked up high, mere inches from his nipples.  The real Best Supporting Actor, folks!

I kid, I kid.

The Plot is gosh darn goofy, features random dance numbers and El Santo doing the same few wrestling moves in every fight.

After the third time you walked up and he kicked you away with both legs, would you try something else?

I didn't even talk about the Werewolves in this wrap-up.  So strange.  So silly.  So good.

This is the only one of these I've watched where they don't shoehorn a Wrestling Match (or 3) into the Plot though, so kudos.  Trying out new stuff at the end, Mr. Santo- I applaud you!

In closing, Santo fans might find some new things here, but all of the usual queso.  Oh, and that Coral Castle was also in, wait for it, The Wild Women of Wongo!

A fun Film that sure is preposterous in all of the best ways.  Does it make sense?  Nah!

Shudder Day: Vacation of Terror II

 A long-delayed follow-up, but for a good reason.

This 1991 Sequel is set on Halloween!

Let's dress up for it, shall we?

Remember the evil doll from the last one?

It somehow escaped- not ask me, they don't say- and is now on the loose again.

It ends up in the hands of a little girl who just happens to be the Daughter of a Film Director.

Our Hero sees this, but can't stop it.

He also fails to save this guy who was doing the same thing, but did get these MacGuffins to help him fight it. 

The little girl is also the Sister of this Pop Singer, who he immediately falls for.
She's played by Tatiana, who goes by one name like Prince, Madonna and Columbo.

Is it true love?

In a series of convenient events, the girl brings to the doll to her Halloween Birthday Party and accidentally cuts her finger on the knife for the cake.

It drips blood on a figurine (which NOBODY REMOVES!), so the doll pulls it down through the cake, licks the blood and transforms into an obvious claymation figure...

...before becoming a full-bodied creature that looks like one of the Witches from, well, The Witches after a serious chemical fire.

This all happens under the cake, by the way, which is a good 20 feet long.

The party ends when they find the dead P.A. under the cake.

That night, the girl is compelled to return because she forgot to grab the 7 Silver Coins her Dad gave her as a present.

The Sister comes along and now they're in peril, alongside our Hero (who stayed behind to prepare for this).

The Witch/Doll/Whatever-the-hell-this-is wreaks all sorts of havoc.

It kills a Guard.
It turns the young girl into a coin.

It drops the other Sister into the ground.

Can this creature be stopped?
Well, there's no Vacation of Terror 3, so....

A fun Film, even if it only has so many tricks.

The whole thing is an excuse for a bunch of weird moments and FX shots.  There's not much Plot here.

Pathos- be it Sister to Sister or Father to Daughter- is 80% of this Film.

That said, the craziness can be fun in small doses.  The FX look just cheap enough to be real, but funny.

All of the usual- Styrofoam blocks, pyro and lots of flying objects.
There's one shot- which has a room fill up with water with Pedro in it- that is just so laughably bad.
It's almost worth watching just for it.

Ultimately, the Film only has so many tricks.  
For instance, he brings like 6 of those molds with him and, so, many Scenes end with them being destroyed.  It happens so freaking much!

Is it good?  Not really.
Is it fun?  Yes.
Does this lady have '80s hair in 1991?  Yes!

Rene Cardona III delivers exactly what you expect.  If you want silly nonsense, you came to the right Movie!

Tubi Thursday: Maya (1989)

 There it is- the only other Horror Film by Marcello Avalone.

I'm done after this- yea!

A man in Mexico is scared by a dream of his death.

Five minutes later, he walks to a Temple (after seeing a weird kid) and it actually happens.

Don't get too excited- not much happens for quite a while after this.

An ex-pat is down there and he was working with the guy.
He meets up with his Daughter, but is no help whatsoever.

Eventually, the kid starts showing up again before random kills.

Between those moments, lots of random Scenes.

Want to see a guy's finger get ripped off?
You do?!?

The apparent revival of a Mexican God of Death (possibly the one from V/H/S 85) causes random murders to happen.

This includes a killer truck trunk, an invisible spirit killing a lady in the bathtub and a lady killed by hooks in her earlobes.

That last one would suck, but you'd live.

By the way, this Poster below features that last Scene, but she's apparently topless here?  Huh?!?

Will the sudden revelation that people can slip in and out of reality wake you up for the finish?

To find out, stream it now.

I was expecting something more, but should I have?

In hindsight, I expected too much.  This is just the kind of Film that Avalone made.
If that's your kind of Film, more power to you.

For all his faults, Lucio Fulci's strange Films were almost never boring.  The crazy stuff was enough to keep you alert during the walking dreams that his Films were.

The Film has a few standout moments.  It would make a great Clip Reel.

If only the rest of the Film were interesting.  It all relates to Peter, who's kind of a dick.  You don't relate to him (I hope) and it makes the Film hard to care about.

This would be a harder one to re-cut/edit into a more interesting Film.  I guess don't be so vague about things until the last Act, write nicer/more interesting Characters and focus.

Oh well- at least nobody marketed it like a Sequel to Gods of Egypt...

Like his other Film, this one has a solid bit of potential.  Sadly, it is just unfocused and only gets interesting near the end.

Tubi Thursday: Doctor of Doom (1963)

 The Internet is abuzz with talk about this Film from ComicCon this year.

I might as well exploit it...

A mad Doctor is kidnapping women, taking their brains and trying to transplant them into a new body.

The brains keep proving not strong enough.

The Film spends about 10 minutes establishing this woman.

I guess Rene Cardona saw Psycho, because the lady is suddenly killed by the bad Doctor!

Her Sister is a Wrestler and she works with the Cops and the Scientist Friend.

Meanwhile, the Cops find out who the Doctor is.
They've questioned every Medical Doctor.  Well, they're out of ideas now!

The Doctor has a big staff, including a bunch of Henchmen, a mutated man AND he even made bulletproof armor for the guy.

Can he get what he wants?

He decides that he needs a stronger woman for the experiment.

Could he go for the lady Wrestlers maybe?

What an idea!

His plan pivots a bit when he's burned by random acid in his lab trying to kidnap her.

His Plan B involves taking a *different* lady Wrestler to make his creation- Vendetta.

Naturally, this all culminates in the 2nd prolonged Wrestling Match.
The End.

A bit of Movie queso.  It doesn't try to be a complex Film.

The Film is about a Doctor trying to steal brains from lady Wrestlers, but he also made an Ape Man.
This is not Citizen Kane.

This one was by Rene Cardona (the 1st)- part of a legacy trio of Directors of Genre Films.  The Tubi Version is also dubbed, which makes it extra cheesy.

Obviously, the strengths and weaknesses of these Lucha Films are present here.  The Wrestling filler is very dated.  If you like watching snapmares, you're in luck!

I'm not sure why anyone cast Robert Downey Jr as this guy all of a sudden, but oh well.
I look forward to the Film as long as the Poster is this great in 2026.

A fun Film for fans of the Genre.  There's not much variety here, but you can still have a good laugh.