10 Crazy Superman Moments from 'Super Friends'

 Superman has been iconic for Decades, going on a Century. 
Many people's childhood images of him are from the various iterations of Super Friends, be it the one with Wendy & Marvin, the Wonder Twins Era or the Super Powers line.

I'm glancing over at my box of loose Super Powers toys, so I'm included.

In honor of the new Superman, let's look back at some of his...odder moments, shall we?

10. Kryptonite is more common than Steel!

Superman's most famous weakness is Kryptonite and makes for an easy way to write him out of a Scene/stop him.

That said, it shows up so often AND on other Planets (seen below in The Death of Superman).

Does that mean that this is also Krypton?!?

9. Showing his Age!

Three Phantom Zone Criminals (not the ones you're thinking of) get loose and plan revenge.  They expose Superman to Red Kryptonite, which has a random effect every time.

This time, it ages him until he looks like a Character right out of Heavy Metal.  It gets disturbing!

8. How is this part of the plan?!?

As part of a larger plan to stop Manta (not Black Manta- he's beige here), Superman and Wonder Woman put on an 'Aerial Aerobics' Show to act like they are unaware of his actions.

...um, okay.

7. Super Downgrade

In a Super Powers Episode, Felix Faust casts a spell to steal Superman's powers (represented by a glowing energy ghost).

However, the power is stolen by his cellmate- The Penguin.

6. Aces High, Superman Low!

In a Super Powers: Galactic Guardians Episode, our Heroes battle new foes in the form of the Royal Flush Gang.

We later learn that they are funded/supplied by Darkseid, but seeing one of them just throw out a card that turns into a Red Sun Energy Ray (a lesser weakness from the Comics) sure is embarrassing.

Firestorm puts up a better fight than you!

5. Now how is THIS part of the Plan?!?

Stick with me here for a bit, won't you?  Two aliens in a sub have a freeze ray.  They eventually freeze the moon (in the vacuum of space).

This is PART of the Super Friends' plan, however!  Superman *breaks a chunk of the Moon off to make it a giant reflector of sunlight to thaw out the frozen Earth!

4. A (James) Whale of a Tale!

Dr. Frankenstein makes a new creation, but quickly runs afoul of the Super Friends.

It is super-easy, barely an inconvenience to capture Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Robin.  He proceeds to use a new device to create a homunculus of the first three (Robin is excluded).

His plan...

3. There's No Place Like Metropolis!

Mr. Mxyzptlyk wants revenge on Superman and transports him, Wonder Woman and Aquaman to 'The Planet of Oz.'

He transforms them into versions of the Public Domain Characters and sends them on their way.  It gets sillier as it goes in, which I won't SPOIL.

2. They're Taking the Heroes to Isengard (Isengard!)!

This Episode probably merits a full induction of its own, but I'll cover the key parts.

An evil Wizard turns our Heroes into 'trolls' (which are clearly Hobbits) and they must save Middle Earth.  Yes, they do call it Middle Earth.

1. Great WHAT now?!?

In Universe of Evil, our Superman is swapped with an evil universe's one.  

On our Earth, the evil Superman soon realizes that something is off and thinks this...

No, really!

To reiterate, this is a fun and classic Show.  It was also written for kids by people that were both very creative and probably did 'partake' of some '70s substances (if you know what I mean).

Here's this out of context image as a final proof.

Happy Superman Weekend!

Happy Thanks-Tubi-ng!

 No Tubi Thursday on account of the Holiday.

That said, if you don't have 18 Grandkids, Nieces, Nephews or Neighbors filling up your Living Room, you might as well enjoy some good stuff.

As such, here are a few choice offerings that are currently on Tubi…

1. Dead & Buried

This 1981 Thriller has a strong pedigree- coming from Dan O'Bannon- and rides the fine line between being famous Cult Film and obscure gem.
No SPOILERS.

2. Suspiria (the original)

Do I need to even tell you how good this is?

This atmospheric gem still holds up after 40 years (give or take) and features a bizarre, but compelling Plot.

3. Something Scary (Web/TV Series)

A personal pick that's just kind of weird/creepy.

A series of Flash-animated adaptations of Creepypastas (Google it), the Show is full of short, sweet bites.
Some are genuinely scary, while many are just plain weird fun.

4. The Frighteners

One last bit of fun with crazy Peter Jackson before he went all 'serious' on us.

This Horror Comedy has good effects, a strong Plot and is *technically* a Horror Film starring Michael J. Fox.

Need I say more?

5. Cooties

A Film about killer kids is always a winner- especially when it is a Comedy.

This one has, well, what I just told you.  It also features Elijah Wood and Rainn Wilson.

It's pretty fun.

6. Masters of Horror (The Series)

I mean, who pays for Showtime these days?

This Series of nearly-feature-length Films come to us from many great Directors like Joe Dante, Tobe Hooper, John Carpenter, Dario Argento and John Landis, among others.

It doesn't get enough love these days.

7. The Giant Claw

A little trash is always fun.

This B-Movie had lofty ambitions...but was also too cheap to hire Ray Harryhausen.
As such, a cheap, Mexican puppet stood in for a good monster.

It's fun fluff.

8. Swamp Thing (the '90s TV Series)

I have a soft spot for this under-budgeted Show.

Dick Durock and company do their best to fill weird stories with gravitas on the Universal Studios Backlot.

There are some legit gems in amongst the silly and crazy.

9. It Follows

An Indy gem that I won't pretend to dislike.

The premise feels unique, even if it can be traced back to similar Films over the years.
The feel of it is fresh and grounded.

That's just a small sampling, of course, from the random assembly of Films on there.

I didn't even cover stuff like Species, The Stuff, the Die Hard Films, Leprechaun or Wishmaster.

It's the anti-Hallmark Channel for many, so enjoy!

10 More Crazy Episodes of 'Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea'

 Thanks to Retro Channel MeTV, I have a wealth of content.

Every week, I record the Episode of this Show that airs at around 2am.
Right now, I'm deep into Season 3, when things went bonkers on a regular basis.

As a reminder, the Show was originally just a Show about a Submarine Crew that battled Spies and tried to avert underwater crises on a weekly basis.

Let's see how much that changed into a Creature of the Week Show with this third dip into the Show...

10. Jonah and the Whale (S2, E1): In this Episode, we can somewhat see the Bridge from Cold War Action Show to Sci-Fi.

The Captain and a Russian Scientist are trapped in a Diving Bell when a giant whale swallows it.  Who hasn't been there?!?

9. The Day the World Ended (S3, E3): In this dramatic Episode, a visiting Senator is shown a device that can pinpoint/track every US Sub.  Seems like a bad idea, but alright.

Things get odd as the subs seem to disappear from the map and nobody answers.  The Admiral, a Corporal and the Senator look around for survivors, but find nobody.

…except this was all an elaborate plan by the Senator to get the device.  All he had to do was use his hypnotic powers to make them think the World was ending and abandon the device.  So simple!

8. Day of Evil (S3, E6): Break out that 2 guys in the same Shot effect- stat!

This odd Episode features a seemingly-all-powerful creature trying to start WWII.
His only weakness: he can't actually push buttons/pull levers.

Time to break out 1,001 Faustian deals to try to win!

7. The Monster's Web (S2, E23): You thought you were safe from bugs at the bottom of the Sea?

In this odd Episode, a Sub is destroyed and its survivor insists that a Spider did it.

It's, you know, the Ocean, so nobody believes him.  It's, you know, this Show, so he was telling the truth.

6. The Mechanical Man (S2, E25): This one is full-on, hard Sci-Fi in the best and worst ways.

A Scientist and his young companion mine a rare mineral that creates power.  Said companion, however, is actually an android and uses it to try to take over the World.

He can do all sorts of things...until he has to be defeated.

5. Day of Evil (S3, E9): It's actually a decent mystery, but it is still weird as hell.

Admiral Crane and Captain Nelson are amnesiac on a Seaview that is all but deserted (just them on Corporal Sharkey).  They hear strange noises.

They want to kill each other!

The actual explanation is all sorts of bonkers, so just watch and find out.

4. The Thing From Inner Space (S3, E8): For nearly having a Found Footage Intro in 1966, they get points!

A Nature Filmmaker who claims to have seen a Sea Monster is naturally brought on board.  It turns out to be true...in more ways than they expected.

On the nearby Island, they find the man-sized one and in the Ocean, they find a giant one.
FYI they never defeat the giant one, so it's still out there!

3. The Terrible Toys (S3, E5): I mean, it's a bunch of toys.

The Crew find the lone survivor (again!) of a vessel and he has...a bag of toys.  Why not?

Said toys are actually alien weapons that allow the creatures to damage the ship and put everyone in danger.

Toys.

2. The Plant Man (S3, E12): My most recent watch, so I might just be biased.

A Scientist 'accidentally' makes a giant Plant Monster.  As it turns out, his evil twin Brother wanted this to happen.

Oh and his Brother also shares a telepathic link with him AND he can essentially control him.  I guess he wants to rule the World or, you know, whatever.

1.  The Deadly Invasion (S3, E10): A case of too many ideas that don't seem to sync up.

First, tiny ships are picked up after crashing into the Ocean near the ship.  Smoke comes out and electricity sparks around the Ship.

Next, the Admiral sees a long-dead friend just appear in his room.  Of course, it's actually an alien.
Later, we see the henchman Aliens and they have weird, rock faces.

So, to be clear, they are tiny, electric aliens who can take human form based on pictures, but also turn into rock-faced goons in turtlenecks.  Follow all that?

I can't help but love this crazy, old Show.  Will I find enough to make yet another list in the future?
Probably!

Is It A Christmas Movie OR Not?!?: A Top 10 List

 Nothing is sure on the Internet except for the fact that nothing is sure.

Well, f#%k that, noise!

Let me answer some simple and oft-repeated questions about whether or not Film A counts as 'A Christmas Film.'  Here we go...

1) Iron Man 3- NO

While it is set at Christmas-time, it is also set in Los Angeles and the Season only comes up in one Scene.  If Tony doesn't dress like Saint Nick and Rhodes as Black Pete, then it doesn't count.

2) Batman Returns- YES

It is set in the right time, features a Christmas Carnival and has lots of related moments in it.  Plus, it is always snowing, so ambiance.

3) The Long Kiss Goodnight- YES

Another Shane Black Script that has Christmas-time as a Setting, but actually does more with it.  It's tenuous, but enough for me.

4) Silent Night, Deadly Night- YES

It features multiple Santas, the right time as a Setting and all sorts of Christmas imagery.  That said...

5) Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2- NO

Other than the flashback stuff (since the Film was originally just designed to be a loose framing device to reuse the footage), it isn't seasonal at all.  Odd choice.

6) Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out- YES

It is barely one, but it has a dead Santa, is set at the right time and ends with 'Merry Christmas.'  A close one.

7) Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation- NO

No killer Santa, not set at the right time and no seasonal joy.  Ho ho no.

8) Elves (1989)- YES

It is set at the right time, features a Lead as a Mall Santa and has a Department Store Location.  That said, the titular 'Elves' are actually one and not related to Santa.  It is harder to sell 'Incestuous Nazis' than Santa, of course.

9) Die Hard 2: Die Harder- YES

It is set in the right time, is all about the Christmas Airport Rush and features lots of snow.  You can't deny it, just because there is no Santa.

10) Die Hard- YES ALREADY

It is set at Christmas, takes place at a Christmas Party, features a reuniting of people for the Holidays and, oh yeah, is famous for the 'Now I Have A Machine Gun, Ho Ho Ho' Sweater.

Is this settled now?!? 

Top 10 Movies I'm Thankful For (and the Reasons Why)

 Instead of doing a bad Horror Film with a killer Turkey or something to do with Evil Indigenous People, let me try something different.

Here's a random sampling of Films from various times and places that I'm thankful for.

I have my reasons.
Here's why...

#10: The Thing (1982).

Why: It introduced me to Body Horror. 

While it certainly didn't invent the idea, John Carpenter's all-time Classic is one of the go-tos for this kind of thing.  Alongside The Fly (which I didn't see until later), the Film makes you see people...and then see them turned into something freaky.

The Film has aged like fine wine and its freaky on-screen horrors can still traumatize people today.

#9: UHF

Why: It showed me how crazy and creative you can be.

'Weird' Al's Cult Classic is a strange Film to sell- no question.  A listless, but creative man inherits a TV Station and inspires a Town.  Wheel of Fish!  The Movie has many great Film Parodies mixed in as Dream Sequences like that make the Film great.  I got to see it again in a Theater (for the first time) before all this insanity and I love it all the more.

#8. Batman (1966).

Why: It showed me what a 'Camp Film' was.

As a kid, I saw the original Batman Film with Adam West and Burt Ward.  I enjoyed the insanity of it all, from the bright outfits to the silly Acting to the whole kitschy presentation.  Watching again when I was older, I got to see it more for what it was.  Was it silly?  Yes.  Was it dated?  Yes.  Do I love it in spite of AND because of this?  Yes.

#7. Batman (1989)

Why: It showed me what a dark, nuanced Superhero Film could be.

So different and yet so much in common!  It is a study in contrast.  As a kid, I saw the Michael Keaton Batman Film and was amazed.  I obviously get more out of it watching it *now* than back then.  

Even so, I can remember seeing that Film for the first time and being blown away.  It made seeing the above Film feel all the more special, oddly enough.

#6. Deep Red/Profondo Rosso (1975)

Why: Introducing me properly to Italian Thrillers/Horror.

I don't show nearly enough love to Dario Argento on this site, I think.  Before I was blogging even here, I discovered his work.  Deep Red was the first and it is just so damn good.  It introduced me to Giallo, which is essentially Italian Pulp Thrillers (hence the name, which means 'yellow', that represents the cheap, yellowing paper of the Books).  The Maestro has many more Films, but this one started it all for me.

As a bonus, he frames a shot to match the famous 'Nighthawks' Painting.  Who does that?!?

#5. Cannibal Holocaust (1982).

Why: It's so daring and ahead of its time.

For the record, I've only seen it 3x.  Yes, that is 3x more than alot of people.  CH is not a Film that I would just sit down and watch.  It's intense.  It looks real.  It is graphic.  It is shocking.  The Film straight-up invented the Tropes that others would profit from following The Blair Witch Project.  The Film was seen as so real that actual Murder Charges were brought against its Director.  On top of that, it is a violent, anti-violence Film (e.c. Straw Dogs) that has a relevant feel over 20+ years later.

Just don't watch it while you're eating or around children, sicko.

#4. Sinbad of the Seven Seas (1989)

Why: It introduced me to the work of Luigi Cozzi.

I used to be able to hang out with my friends on the weekend back in the day and go rent Movies from places like Blockbuster or Hollywood Video.  We saw alot of crap like that.  Eventually, good (or at least crazy) Films snuck in.  This was one of them.

The Film features Lou Ferrigno as a muscle-bound hero and John Steiner as the evil Jafar.  During his adventures, Lou charms snakes into letting him tie them into a rope to escape.  He fights a swamp-based monster that shoots lasers.  He fights skeletons.  Throughout the whole thing, he always loses his sword, since he evidently couldn't sword-fight as well as he could flex.

This Film is fun (and I still own it) and it led me to other ones by Cozzi like Contamination, Hercules and, of course, Starcrash.  I own all of them too. 

#3. Battlefield Baseball (2003).

Why: It led me to seek out lots of Japanese craziness.

In that same period of time, we started to see some Foreign Films get mixed in with stuff like Shakedown or The Breed.  BB was one and I loved it.  The premise- a Baseball Team competes on the High School level and straight up kills their opponents to win.  They can do this since they bring a Ref to call it all legal- of course!

Based on a Manga, the Film isn't unique in this level of insanity.  Without seeing this, who knows if I would have seen so much like it in the ensuing years, be it Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl, Stacy or Nezulla: The Rat Monster.  Thanks!

#2. Captain America: The First Avenger.

Why: It finally gave us a good Captain America Film.

As a kid, the only Captain America options I had to see on Film/TV weren't great.  The original Reb Brown ones are really embarrassing and stiff.  The 1990 Film with J.D. Salinger's Grandson as the Lead was cheap and kind of awful.  I was big into Comics during this time and it really disappointed me to see it not realized.  

Thankfully, the MCU finally delivered on a (relative) lifetime of disappointing Films about my favorite Hero.  

#1: The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1972).

Why: It defined the absurd and surreal for me.

It's no secret that I love this Movie.  It is pure insanity.  A Triple-Doctorate thought dead uses his knowledge to ritually kill 9 Doctors- and a Nurse- to get revenge.  He speaks through a wire plugged into his neck.  He has a clockwork band.  He's gleefully nuts.

All Films that try to be so crazy that you must love them are compared to this one- period!

What Films are you thankful for?

Top 10 Bizarre Halloween Episodes of Shows (That You Wouldn't Think Had Them)

 As Halloween comes again in this crazy Year, let's look at some less-celebrated Specials.

Sorry, Charlie Brown and Tim Curry, you're not on this list...

Honorary Mentions: Lois & Clark, MacGyver, Galactica 1980, The Greatest American Hero, Thirtysomething,  Davey and Goliath, Quantum Leap, The Smurfs and Lassie

10. Dracula Meets...The Flintstones?!?: Considering everyone that they met, I guess this shouldn't be a surprise.

In between the original run and its revival in many forms (like The Flinstones Kids), this 1979 TV Special introduced two classic Monsters- Count Rockula and Frankenstone('s Monster).  Rock puns!  To add to the Halloween spirit, Ted Cassidy (Lurch from The Addams Family TV Show) voiced the latter creature.

9. Dinosaurs practice Samhain?!?: Not the...logical choice.

A Halloween Episode of ABC's Dinosaurs.  Do I *really* need to say more?

8. How do you Trick or Treat with those Stilt Houses?: Is it the future or the past?

The Jetsons also had a Halloween Episode and it came in the Revival time.  See- we wouldn't have this without #10.

7. A Small Haunting: I love this Show, despite of (or because of) how silly it is.

While there are many to highlight (and I will one day), this one features Vickie moving stuff around the House at night, so they think that there's a ghost.  Why not?

6. Halloween Gets a ReBoot: Digital gh-gh-ghosts?!?

This classic CGI-Animated Show from my youth also did a Horror Episode.  It featured parodies of Ash from The Evil Dead, Thriller (not A Cruel Picture), Zombie Films and Elvira.  

Groovy!

5. Where in the World is...Halloween?!?: Well, they had a Christmas Episode, so...sure.

In this Halloween-themed Episode, they chase Carmen Sandiego, learn about Halloween and get tricked.  

They also mispronounce Samhain!  It is not pronounced phonetically!  You're the Show that is supposed to be teaching kids!

4. The Ultimate in obscure Crossovers: Spider-Man sure loved to interact with other Characters!

As part of the Ultimate Spider-Man run, the Show had a crossover with Jesse, a Disney Channel Show that was, well, live-action.  Ignoring that, you get magic, a dragon and a Character Arc for...Jesse.

3. Extreme Dinosaurs vs. Pumpkins and...Kindness?!?: If you have so many Episodes, it had to happen.

In this odd Episode, the Raptors plan to release a 'kindness' gas through the use of Jack-O-Lanterns.  Our Heroes get it first and now won't fight.  So, the lesson, you see, is that you need to be angry and pissed off to save the day.

And yes, TWO Shows about Dinosaurs made the list.

2. To Boldly Go...Haunting?: No actual Halloween, but it was released on the day of (in 1967).

This Episode of the original Star Trek features all sorts of Horror Cliches like a Castle, a cat and more.  As a bonus, it was Written by Psycho Author Robert Bloch.

Said Episode was delayed (and released as Episode 7) to air on the Holiday, even though Chekhov's first appearance is supposed to be here.

1. Superboy vs. Lots of Monsters: I couldn't narrow it down to just one.

Superboy was a Syndicated Show that ran for 4 Seasons.  Aside from adapting classic villains like Metallo and Bizarro, they featured supernatural threats on four occasions.  Two of them feature Vampires, while another features a Werewolf.  The last one features Ghosts!

And you thought Smallville was weird for featuring Witches and Vampires.
I mean, it was...but you get the idea.

So those are some Halloween Episodes/Specials that might surprise you by existing.

Got more that I missed?  Leave a comment.

4,200th Post Celebration!: The Top 19 Worst Films of Mondo Bizarro- 2009 to 2019!

This is the big one!

I went through my listings of the Worst Films of Previous Years to cherry pick the best of the worst.  So many bad Films to choose from!

I can't guarantee that every Year will be represented in the final List, but they definitely got some contenders.

Dishonorable Mentions:  Uli Lommel's Black Dahlia, We Are the Strange, Offspring,  Beware! Children At Play, The New York Centerfold Massacre, Pocahauntus AND Dating A Zombie

19. The Fat Spy: A Film so bad that I kept it at home just to keep it out of circulation.  I realize how little that helps, but I did it all the same.

It's an unfunny Comedy with bad Acting and it looks cheap.  Bad Comedies are usually the worst things in the World.  It's hard to imagine that Jane Mansfield did this, but somehow thought Hillbillys in a Haunted House was too bad.

18. The Skeleton Key 2- 667- Neighbor of the Beast: Will I ever go back to try and finish this?  It has to be a Worst of the Worst one, maybe.

I tried watching the Film, but it gave you no setup for its weird nonsense.  I remember a Genie.  Lots of POV Exposition.  It gets so pointlessly META while explaining nothing that I haven't touched it for 10 years!

For comparison, I have rewatched the #3 pick (to compare the Cuts) and the #2 pick (with Rifftrax).

17. Revenge of the Living Dead Girls: A knock off of something that wasn't actually that great- joy.

This is a faux Sequel to a French Horror Film.  That one involved a woman dying, but coming back when exposed to chemicals and killing people.  It inspired a Rob Zombie song.

This one has 3 ladies dying from drinking poisoned milk and killing people.  On the plus side, it does hold historical importance as MY first Project Terrible Review.

16. The Human Race: A terrible Film and a bad pun- almost worth it!

This bizarre Film has an interesting (in theory) premise- run a race or die!  It gets really dumb and morose with it, of course, ruining the whole thing.  That's even before giant Angels (or something) show up...maybe.

15. Roar: If the ranking was based on how bad it was to shoot the Film, this would be #1.

A wrong-headed, right-hearted man wanted to show you that we could live and interact with jungle cats.  As such, he made a Movie where his FAMILY was surrounded by these Apex Predators at all times.  Many people were wounded, his Stepdaughter needed plastic surgery and Jan De Bont (yes, the guy from Twister) was scalped.

It's not even a very good Film regardless of this.

14. The Twilight Series: Low hanging fruit.

On one hand, I could have made this just a Dishonorable Mention.  On the other hand, I watched all of the Films (out at the time) for Project Terrible and the other guy never did his Films.  As such, I suffered alone for no reason.

13. Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning: A Film so bad I also made Bob watch it.  I'm a good friend.

This is actually the 6th Film in a Series (which explains why the Plot is confusing), but the only one on DVD.  It is a Parody of Star Trek and Babylon 5.

The Effects are mostly bad, but the Plot and Characters are just irredeemable, so why bother watching?

12. Old Mother Riley Meets the Vampire: The combo of Bad Comedy and sad performance by Actor who could do better.

In 1952, Bela Lugosi went to London to play Dracula again.  The Play bombed and he was now 'stuck' in England.  To pay for his trip home, he agreed to be the bad guy in this Film, wherein he'd riff on Dracula and his role in The Phantom Creeps.

He's fine in this.  The Lead in Drag- clearly inspiring Tyler Perry- is awful and nothing else is good either.

11. Homoti: Project Terrible continues to live up to its name!

This is one of the many E.T. knockoffs, but also one of the worst.  It is the 2nd Turkish E.T Film to boot!  Its suit is terrible, its Plot is boring and it just kind of sucks.

Bonus- the YouTube upload only has Subtitles for the first 10 minutes.

10. Hobgoblins 2: The Sequel to a Film I'm paying to see in a Theater for the first time ever.

Whenever I get to see Rifftrax do Hobgoblins, it will be better than this.  The Writer/Director is back due to 'every other Gremlins rip-off getting Sequels,' so we all get to suffer.

It's mostly a confusing rehash with slight updates- online dating in place of phone sex lines- and even less humor.  On the plus side, I got to tell the Director on Facebook that I would willingly pay to get his Hobgoblins 3 Script and keep it from being made.  Good times.

9. Astro-Zombies M3 and M4: I at least had company to suffer through these.

Decades after the original Astro Zombies, the late Ted V. Mikels came back for Mark of the Astro-Zombies.  He got enough money/interest/moxie to make 2 more.

As Bob can attest, they are both confusing, sometimes boring messes of Films that call back to even more obscure stuff like The Doll Squad.

8. Live Freaky, Die Freaky: This was abusing Sharon Tate's legacy before it was cool!

This Dark Comedy is a claymation nightmare about the Sharon Tate/La Bianca Murders.  You're supposed to laugh at this?  They make Tate look awful here and I don't know why.  It's tasteless and just not funny.

7. Psycho Shark: I suffer for you (and my own stupidity).

I thought that this would be trashy fun.  The premise is that a bunch of Busty Models from Japan come up against a giant shark.  Dumb, stupid fun.

The Movie is just them chatting, watching footage and laying around until the last 5 minutes.  It is the longest 65 minutes of your life!

6. Mummy Maniac: A terrible tease and a terrible Film.

Another Project Terrible Film and this one manages to make you think it is going to be something else.  A killer mummy?!?  Nope- a boring, chubby guy who kills women in his storage locker over and over again...and wraps the bodies up in toilet paper.

My Review is the same shots over and over again...but they are from different parts in the Film!

5. Carl J. Sukenick's Alien Beasts: It is hardly a Movie, so it just barely escapes the upper spots.

If you wanted to see what would happen if someone with friends and alot of Meth tried to make a Spy Film, this is it.  It has long pauses, long still frames, constant cuts to an old man named Abe 'watching the monitors' and more nonsense.

The drunk ramblings of a homeless man who just huffed a bag of paint to boot would be better than this!

4. The Time Machine (I Bought At A Yard Sale): Worst of the Worst was founded for this!

I had heard about this awful mess and didn't want to suffer alone.  Thanks, Bob.

Found for free on YouTube (to serve as their Resume), this Film has amazingly-bad everything.  A guy time travels...once and then finds a space ship.  The Film actually has him FORGET that he has a Time Machine!

You probably couldn't make something this bad if you tried (and people have!).

3. Good-Bye, Uncle Tom/Addio Zio Tom: I feel like I keep picking on this one...and with good reason.

Important recap- the 2 Directors of Mondo Cane (and more) were called Racists who made Fake Documentaries.  To silence their Critics, they made...a Fake Documentary about them seeing the Antebellum South.  Wait, what?!?

I got crap from a guy for covering the wrong cut, but whichever one you see, it is bad.  It is long, awful and bad.

2. Roller Gator: Why must I hurt myself so?!?

I heard about this Film in a Review of another Film. I thought- a Film about a talking/rapping purple Alligator puppet- hilarious!

The actual Film is shot on a handi-cam  (with visible shutter) and features CONSTANT GUITAR MUSIC over the whole Film.  It could be a fun train wreck of a Film if you didn't want to deafen yourself to escape the pain.

1. Actium Maximus- War of the Alien Dinosaurs: There's no topping this, right?

This one-and-done Film was seemingly-released by Troma as a joke to punish its Director.  He had clear visions for a big, futuristic world of wonder and horror.  He also only had like $20 and not enough friends to help.

It is long, bizarre and meandering.  As a final bonus, it ends on Sequel Bait!  Noooooooo!!!!

Here's to better Films from 2020 on. 

Not likely though, is it?

Holiday Listing: Top 10 Takeaways from 'Star Wars- Droids: The Pirates and the Prince'

I spent a whole 49 cents on this VHS before the you-know-what made Thrift Store Shopping next to impossible. 

On this 'holiday,' let's see what we can learn from a 24-year old VHS Tape of a 35 year-old Cartoon...

10. A Streak Continues: Who is the connective tissue of the Star Wars Universe?  Anthony Daniels- of course.

He's had a role of some sort as C-3PO in every official Star Wars Film.  That carries over to nearly every other project too, including this Cartoon that was once canon.

9. A Familiar Voice: If you've watched, well, anything animated, you've probably heard Cree Summer's voice.

The woman is a living legend when it comes to Voice Acting and this Show is one of her earliest credits (she started working in 1984).  As a bonus, she continues to voice (now-canonical) Star Wars Characters to this day (for the Online RPG).

8. A Familiar-looking Face: This is a non-intentional thing, but still worth noting.

This 4-part Story (part of the Season of the Show) features Jann buying the Droids and going on an adventure.  He, well, looks way too much like Liu Kang.

7. Buy Them Toys!: They make sure to sell some toys here, since, you know, '80s Cartoon.

Most notably, they use A-Wings a number of times and, what luck, that was first introduced in the Toy Line for this very Show.  Weird!

6. Name Dropping...Back Up: A few instances of continuity coming from this Show.

While likely not intentional, some locations mentioned in the Episodes do come up again in small ways in later Films.  Most notably, the bulk of the final Episode is set on Bogden, which would later be name-dropped in Episode II.

5. A Leg Up: Throughout the 4 Episodes, there is a weird obsession with damaging C-3PO's legs.

In one part, his left leg is removed and not rewired properly.  In another part, he lands on them and can't walk right for one scene.  Finally, he's mauled some dog-like things and they both come off.  Weird!

4. Surprisingly-Early Representation: It wasn't until The Last Jedi (grumble) that we got our first major Character played by a Female that wasn't White.  No, playing Aliens doesn't count.

Well, back in 1985, we got Jess- voiced by Cree Summer- who is a Black Female Pilot.  She's not all that well-written, but it still counts.

3. Reading is Fundamental: Is watching a Cartoon not interesting enough for you?

Well, you might as well read the Book Version of this then.

2. Where does he get those wonderful toys?!?: A future trend is seen in full effect here.

In the original trilogy, R2-D2 mostly had a few gadgets.  By the Prequel Trilogy, he had a full Utility Belt full of them (and a Jet Pack).

Over 4 Episodes, he introduces some random gadgets including a propeller, a grappling hook, an oxygen mask and...an inflatable crash pad?  Come on!

1. Kybo Ren- Is that a Typo?: This Arc features the most famous Character from the Series.  It is relative fame, mind you.

The bulk of the Story involves an evil Space Pirate named Kybo Ren.  No relation to Kylo Ren.
The fact that he's important enough to have the final part/Episode named after him, thus saving in for historical posterity is just great.

A pretty fun, if uneven adventure.  It is just 4 Episodes in a row, but they are actually one Arc, so fair play to them.