Forgotten Sequels: Mimic 3- Sentinel

Is there any clear sign before you even make a film that it's going to turn out bad?  I have a theory and a website that seems to corroborate this.  Here's the thesis: if you're making a bad, cash-in sequel and you hire Lance Henriksen, your movie will end usually up bad.  Case in point: The Mangler 2.  If you think that it's merely a fluke, I have another example: Alone in the Dark II.  Still think that I'm crazy?  Here are some films not necessarily reviewed on this page: The Omen II, Alien Vs Predator, House III: The Horror Show, No Contest II, Piranha II: The Spawning, Hellraiser: Hellworld and Screamers: The Hunting.  The prosecution rests, your honor!  Why do I mention all of this?  Well, Lance Henriksen is in this movie too and it sucks.  The bulk of the film is a rip-off of Rear Window and actually attempts to build suspense about what is going on.  Gee, this is the THIRD Mimic film, so I'm going to guess that it involves giant bugs.  Seriously, why did they do this?  All it does it make the film move at a crawl (no pun intended).  Still reading after all of that?  If so, check out my full review of...

The film begins by setting up the simple premise that it has: a physically-sick man watches his neighbors all of the time due to his inability to go outside.  Try to remember this, even when the movie decides to have two scenes where he actually goes outside!  Apparently he has some rare disorder related to the infestation of Judas Bugs from the original Mimic.  Well, that's still a better pretense for this being a sequel than Mimic 2 getting the fourth-tier character to come back.  They are also quick to establish that he has a rather unhealthy obsession with categorizing the pictures of his neighbors.  His wall of them actually makes Robin Williams' collection from One Hour Photo look small by comparison.  In addition, he has a quirky habit of guessing their names when he doesn't actually know them.  For example, he calls the weird man who is always near the trash 'Garbageman' and calls the honor student 'Number One Son.'  There's only one 'Number One Son' and he's related to Charlie Chan...dammit!  He begins to suspect that things are getting weird as the dad to 'Number One Son' changes his attitude from nice to angry.  Hmm...

The first thing that's actually interesting to happen involves the young nurse he's been photographing being brought over by his sister in order for them to hook up.  Yes, invite this mysterious woman in to have sex with your gravely-ill, 24-year old brother!  The second interesting thing happens when the girl's boyfriend/drug dealer gets killed by a mysterious creature after a drug deal with the 'nice old lady.'  Gee, why don't you just tell us that they're bugs.  Even if I didn't know that this was Mimic 3, it's based on the short story of the same name!  The real reason: they don't want to spend their CG budget just yet, so the bugs are just tall men in all-black.  They call in the murder, but fail to take pictures of anything due to their fright.  You take pictures of every banal detail of these people's lives, but can't do it when something actually happens?!?  A cop comes over and basically ignores their story, although he does find one thing interesting: their mother.  Faster than you can say 'this is a dumb sub-plot,' the cop and the mother have hooked up.  We are even treated to a scene where he tries to warn the cop about something going on, but this requires him to interrupt some off-screen sex.  I'd rather see the bugs, thank you!

After a long freaking wait, the movie finally comes to its sense and has shit happen.  The woman and the sister look into 'Garbageman's' apartment, but find nothing.  A few scenes show the neighbors being taken out by the bugs, but always when our hero is not looking.  He stumbles across a book showing a scientist looking into the Judas Bugs (Lance Henriksen) and learns that he is 'Garbageman.'  After the old lady and the cop are killed by the bugs (finally, some CG action!), Lance and his comrades are seen outside making some sort of deal.  Fun fact: one of the men is played by the mustachioed Lieutenant from Subspecies II-IV and he's credited as 'Mustache.'  Good to see that things are working out, buddy!  A bunch of them get killed and Lance gets his hand messed up.  This doesn't stop him from wielding a shotgun though, as he locks the wounded sister in the trunk and takes the woman with him to our heroes' apartments.  He sets the place up as a trap, but all of this does is get the mother killed by a bug.  The things try to break through as the movie blatantly contradicts itself by saying that 'the bugs are evolving.'  Um, in the last two films, they took human forms- here they are just bugs.  The woman gets wounded and our heroes hides out in the refrigerator, but only after setting up a MacGuyver-style bomb with the oven.  The whole place blows up & he's reunited with the woman at a hospital.  The End.

Yeah, this is not a good movie either.  Considering the stuff that Lance ends up in, this is no surprise.  Sorry, Lance- you're a good actor with a shitty agent.  This movie is a blatant rip-off of Rear Window and actually has the gall to reference it as well!  Seriously, stop pointing out better films for me to watch.  In all honesty, this premise has potential and could be used in a lot of interesting ways.  Here, however, it is just a pretense to drag out the story, not show you any CG and just generally waste your time.  Seriously, we know what the bug monsters look like, so what's the point in trying to build up suspense about them now?!?  The only way that this would be clever if it all built up to them being bugs, but revealed them to be something else.  Since this movie is not clever, we just get the stupid bugs cutting people up.  Wow, that's unique!  I will say one thing: Lance is the best thing about this movie, not to discount the supporting role by 'Mustache.'  Like a lot of these movies, Lance is only in this movie due to his relative star status and has barely anything to do.  If you're going to do this crap, at least put someone like Art LeFleur.  After all, this guy is going to star in Dahmer vs. Gacy- he definitely has no better options!

Next up, I wrap up another trilogy with Turbulence 3.  What does it have that's unique?  Heavy metal rockers in flight, that's what!  Stay tuned...

Blockbuster Trash: Mimic 2

I know some of you may think of this as a cheat, but it's not. While it's true that this is a Forgotten Sequel (it was made in 2001), it was also made direct-to-video. Unlike the last two films featured in the series, this movie was never in a theater! For those that don't know, Guillermo Del Toro was so fed up with the Weinstein's constant creative insertion that he all but disowned the original Mimic. As such, it should be no surprise that he did not make this movie. Instead, he made some small, indy film called Blade II. There is some confusion to this film if you really look at it, as well. The story is a sequel, but centers around one of the supporting characters and not the lead. Does it make this film a 'Sidequel' then? Regardless, this is...

Mimic 2: Hardshell

The film begins with a mysterious man walking down a soundstage...er, I mean street with a mysterious briefcase. He is attacked by an unseen creature with claws and stumbles into the path of a taxi cab. That is also attacked as well, complete with having the metal hood cut through. Of course, because this is not a good movie, the hood is in one-piece when the police show up the next morning. Their only clue is a bunch of dirt that seems to have come out of the briefcase. The movie transitions to our real lead: a young woman who is a Biology teacher at an inner city high shool. Just to note: because this movie was made in early 2001 and set in New York, you do get a sadly-ironic shot of the Twin Towers. Our heroine proves to be very quirky and has one obsession: bugs. I mean, she is really into bugs. We learn this in great detail as she goes out on a date with some guy. In one of the movie's few comedy segments, she talks non-stop about bug behavior, while the guy only wants to get in her pants. After she leaves, he is attacked by a mysterious man in a coat. Cue to police!

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The more we learn about our heroine, the weirder she gets. After she is informed about the man's death, she takes a picture of herself. Why, you ask? Because she apparently does that every time a relationship turns bad. To make it all the stranger, she posts them all on a closet door in her apartment! The detective talks to her in-depth and even puts the moves on her a bit. He suspects that something was up with her due to people in her proximity meeting mysterious and violent deaths. He states early on, however, that she could not do it, since the man was strung up on a light pole and outweighed her by nearly 100 lbs. In the film's other parallel story, she develops a close bond with a young, inner city youth, while an older student has the hots for her. Late one evening, she discovers that her and the younger boy are trapped in the school, thanks to someone stacking up desks and chairs Poltergeist-style. The Principal, played by penultimate character actor John Polito, tries to help, but meets a bloody death. This is also where we learn that the killer is one of the original beasts from the first film. I admire your attempt at mystery, but is this really a surprise? This is Mimic 2!

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The bulk of the movie revolves around our heroes running somewhere, talking about bugs and running some more. Since our heroine was one of the people from the original release of the bugs in the last movie, she knows all about how their minds/bodies work. Of course, nearly every time she sets something up based on that knowledge, it fails! She switches clothes with the older boy (who's probably 19 in real life) to fool the bug, but only ends up making it confused and angry. You see, the bug has apparently decided that she is to be his mate...for some reason, so it is killing any man in her life that is conceived to be a 'rival.' Speaking of the bug, it is mostly CG and looks good or terrible depending on the scene. In its 'human form,' it never looks realistic, unless you think that people resememble Michael Meyers covered in Vasoline. After a lot of running and struggling, the policeman from earlier breaks into the building- which is surrounded by cops- and saves our heroine...or so it seems. In the chaos, the police somehow confuse the bug in his form for the real guy, who they discover. Rather than giving us a twist ending, the movie continues and has the bug get decapitated by our heroine. She is forced to wait out its death, however, as it died in the doorway. The End.

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Yeah, this movie is not good. The story is not all that awful, but it definitely has some flaws. The mystery about the assailant is handled well, but feels really unnecessary. If this were the first Mimic or an original IP, it would be logical. In addition, the whole thing with the bug being in love/lust with her does not make all that much sense. She makes a point many times about it still behaving like a bug and having its flaws (i.e. flash sensitivity). So, this creature is exactly like a bug, only it is also just like a human? Early on, they give us many victims that are really unnecessary. Why did the bug kill the janitor? Did it push the story on in anyway? Was it just so your film did not feel so bottom-heavy? On top of that, the ending felt like they had a neat idea, but 'chickened out' on it. I will give them credit for some good bug effects, but deduct just about as many points for an over-reliance on CG. This is especially notable when you consider that this is a sequel to a Del Toro film, the man who still pushes for on-camera effects/suits. You can definitely do worse (see Species II-IV), but don't expect a lot.

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Next up, a quirkly little film involving aliens, swimsuit models and Frankenstein's creation. You have to be curious. Stay tuned...