Holiday Flix: Starfighters (Luchadores de las Estrellas)

 Instead of doing a Star Wars thing and a Cinco De Mayo thing, here's both!  This is Starfighters, a 1992 Action Film from California...by way of Mexico.  It was shot in the former, but made by people from the latter.  Clear enough?  It features a handful of Luchadores, as well as a gringo who was working in the area at the time.  The Plot- as you can imagine- has a Sci-Fi twist to it.  A strange Alien comes to Earth- with 3 minis- to drink some blood and gain some power.  I apologize if I don't go deep enough into the Plot for you, but here's the thing- no Subtitles.  My Spanish is very, very lacking, but I could pick up enough to follow the basics.  The Film is obscure enough that I couldn't even find Subtitles online for it, so thems the breaks.  As per the usual, there's lots of actual Wrestling in here.  Will it give the rare example of having both actual Wrestling and good non-wrestling Action Scenes?  Para averiguarlo, sigue leyendo...

A ship crashes, well, somewhere and some little Aliens come out.  They are accompanied by a larger one as well.

Said Aliens are played by famous Minis, most notably Mascarita Sagrada (who was featured heavily on Lucha Underground and in '90s WWF)

This seems to affect a lady Luchador- played by Co-Writer/General Manger/Costume Designer/Theme Song Writer Gloria Mayo- but she convinces her friend that it is all tranquilo with her.

The Aliens go to a Club to get what they are after- blood!

So, if you can follow, our Villain is an Alien...who's a Vampire...and a Wrestler...who dresses/acts like a Terminator.

As a bonus, he's played by Tyler Mane, most famous for playing Sabretooth and Michael Meyers (in the Remakes).

Since our Film is all about Wrestlers, we get the first of THREE Matches here.  The world of Mondo Bizarro Cinema and Let's Go to the Ring aren't that far apart sometimes.

At least a later match features Blue Demon Jr (also on Lucha Underground) and a guy named Satanico.

The Aliens continue to abduct women for their blood (Necessito Sangre, cries our villain) and...to use random religious imagery.

This is from 1992, so they beat ECW to this by 4 years.

The lead Alien really wants our Heroine for some reason (does it matter that much?) and he brought along a fog machine!

He chases her to the Ring for a battle that- naturally- includes irish whips and a giant swing.

Hey look- an Empty Arena Match!

After another match, some more Action and some so-so Plot, our Heroes defeat the little Aliens (who are transformed into big ones) and Nitron the Space Vampire here with an electric line and a small pool.

Our Heroine is still confused about all of this as she walks outside with the others...whereupon a different Spaceship shines a light on her, transforms her into a new outfit and takes her away.

In the aftermath, they sequel bait Masters of the Universe-style with Nitron.  The End.

It's all pretty damn silly.  Would this have been a much better Film if I spoke fluent Spanish?  I mean, think about what happens.  Three Wrestlers have to deal with 3 little Aliens and a Space Vampire.  It isn't Citizen Kane.  Hell, it isn't even Citizen Toxie!  It is all just silly fun here.  Like most of these Wrestling Movies from Mexico, it has lots of action, lots of dubious acting and some silly stuff across the board.  I missed alot of the little moments from the Plot I'm sure, but this whole thing still works.  The matches themselves are decent, but you only get the action from the hard camera.  My best guess is that the Film Cameras for this were *extra* cameras and just went where there was room.  Otherwise, why else would you set it so far away, never zoom in and never change angles?  The big hook here is Nitron (aka Mane).  He's dubbed quite noticeably here and just generally looks menacing in a kind of silly way.  They have him do the usual 'wrestling big man' stuff here while the trio bump off of him/around him.  It's clear that they want him to look and act like The Terminator here.  Sorry, the only wrestling Teminator is Road Warrior Animal's Brother Joe (as seen in the AWA Episode of Let's Go to the Ring!).  Well, him or Arnold himself in that one WWE 2K game.  If you like silly stuff and speak Spanish, you might enjoy this for the throwback that it is.  If you don't, well, why are you watching Starfighters?  In closing, it is funny how the little things will sometimes make you laugh.  For me, in a Film full of cheesy effects, Minis and Aliens, this guy commando rolling out of the car while he's supposed to be knocked out just makes me laugh...

Next up, I just re-watched a Film I last saw in 2009.  Time to dig it up for a proper Review.  Stay tuned...

'I Go To the Ring:' WCW's Sting in 'Shutterspeed'

To help fill the gap between Episodes of Let's Go to the Ring (cheap plug) and to celebrate Sting's Birthday, I watched his big Film Debut- Shutterspeed.  Made and/or released in 2000, the Film was a test run for him as a Movie Star.  He's clearly not Dwayne Johnson, so we know how that went.  It's also possible that this was a Contract Bonus/Incentive for Sting.  I mean, Hogan got paid for wearing nWo Shirts in public at non-wrestling events, so it's not impossible.  In any event, Sting was 'injured' in a story line and took time off to do this, as well as other things (like apparently welcome a new kid).  This was made for TNT and exists in this weird TV Movie limbo.  Someone clearly owns it.  Every copy around is right from a recording (probably on VHS).  There is no DVD release I can find.  It exists online and has for years.  Nobody seems to want to take ownership/credit for it.  I guess I'm good here.  The Story involves two Cops, one camera and some bad guys.  If you are looking for something unique and 'outside of the box,' look elsewhere.  This is pretty stock TV Movie stuff all around, from the basic Plot to the fact that it was shot in Vancouver.  Does Sting elevate it?  To find out, read on...

Sting is a Cop.  He works in Narcotics.
Get used to his face without his iconic make-up- if you can.

Earlier, a mysterious man is chased and escapes with a camera.  He ships it to Sting before he is captured.

Conveniently, Sting calls the man later to ask about said camera, sealing his fate.

Meanwhile, Sting is engaged to Daisy Fuentes (naturally!) and has bad dreams that are actually flashbacks to a past event.  More on that later.

The guy with the camera originally is killed and we learn the big twist- he's Fuentes' Brother!

At least that is the only Brother drama here...

Oh right- this thing.

So Sting's Brother is now also a Cop, but they don't get along.
Naturally, said Brother gets put on the case, so they must work together.

Symbolism!!!

Yeah, the drama involves their dead Dad.

Fuentes is kidnapped for a trade with the camera...since the bad guys don't just go after Sting.

Sting goes alone, but things go wrong when the Cops- led by his Brother- show up.  Enjoy this only bit of physicality from Sting...for some reason.

We get our Emmy Moment as Sting and bro make up after we hear the whole story of a Mexican Stand-Off gone wrong.  Sting even cries on cue!

To make a long story short, they learn that the bad guys are all about smuggling in fake bills/other stuff.  They stop them.

Sting is caught by the villain, but his Brother redeems himself for the stand-off and the day is saved.  Also Sting gets married to Fuentes.  The End.

A pretty basic Film that didn't do all that much.  To be fair, what was I expecting?  This is a Made for TV Movie by TNT.  It stars Sting.  It has no DVD Release.  It is not on official Streaming anywhere.  How good it have really turned out?  I watched this with Bob online- thanks for that, stupid pandemic!- and we both were kind of like 'Eh, it was a Movie.'  Sting has a pretty natural presence, but he's forced to play so grim and angry here.  It's a weird use of someone like him, who is known for letting his personality shine through.  Granted, his Crow Sting persona was brooding, but that didn't last forever.  Plus, let's be fair, that was 2 years before this Film.  The biggest issue here is just how poorly they use Sting.  With his general look, he could easily pass for a still-alive Brandon Lee...only without the kung-fu or general action fun.  Sting doesn't really fight anyone in this Film- why cast him then?  I get that he might want to do more IN ADDITION TO THAT, but why have none if it at all?!?  This could have starred any number of people- be it Brian Bosworth or Lance Henriksen- and not changed much.  Hell, he doesn't even do something simple like a Hammerlock.  So disappointing really- this was a missed opportunity.  Judged on its own, the Film isn't bad.  It just isn't especially interesting or good either.  To put it as a bad joke, in Soviet Russia, Film is Film...

Next time, I go back to my original plans.  I just couldn't let a Birthday go un-celebrated in this case.  Stay tuned...