Don't Cross Me: Along Came A Spider (2001)

 A new Month brings us a new Alex Cross Film.  It is crazy to think that Patterson has written so many Cross Novels, but there are only 3 Films.  Weird.

This is Along Came A Spider, the 2001 Film Adaptation of the first Cross Book.
Well, it actually changes so many things that it is not *really* an Adaptation. 
Joy- another one for my Fiction vs. Fiction List.

The Plot involves the kidnapping of a Senator's Daughter, a Screenwriter who doesn't know how the Secret Service works and Alex Cross being brought in under unique circumstances to help save the day.  Can he team up with a different woman- not a previous victim this time- to solve another case?

The Film was Directed by Lee Tamahori, a guy with a very diverse Filmography, in both style and quality.  Besides this, he made everyone's favorite Bond Film- Die Another Day- as well as everyone's favorite Phillip K. Dick adaptation- Next- and everyone's favorite '00s Sequel- xXx: State of the Union.  In contrast to those, however, he also made a respected Film or two like The Edge and The Devil's Double.

Speaking of connections, he took over State of the Union when Rob Cohen dropped out and then Rob Cohen made Cross in 2012.  What a small world.

Well, that was fun.  Now here's...

Cross is working with his Partner in stopping a killer from presumably another Book's Story.

It goes wrong when her cover is blown, the obviously CG Car flies off of a dam and she dies.

Meanwhile, a Teacher manages to knock out and kidnap the Daughter of a Senator, even eluding the Secret Service...who don't actually watch Senator's kids.

This setup does give us the first Poor Bastard of Cinema for me to induct from this Film though.

The kidnapper sends one of the girl's shoes to Cross, who is moping about and trying to stay busy to avoid going back to work after the death of his Not in the Book Partner.

In the Film, he wants Cross to work the case due to his fame (since he wants to be a famous Criminal).
In the Book, he's got 'split personalities' (it was written in 1993, to be fair).

We briefly see Cross' Boss from the last Film just long enough for Cross to get put on the case by Dylan Baker.

The Senator- Michael Moriarty- so you know that this was shot in Canada- is the usual blustering jerk, while the Wife is all 'Just save our Daughter.'

He has to work with the Secret Service Agent who failed to protect the girl.

The kidnapper seems to want to be famous, making sure to spell it out for Cross and the Audience that he was inspired by Richard Bruno Hauptman, who kidnapped Charles Lindbergh's baby.

He makes another move as he tries to kidnap a Russian boy whose Father is also a 'higher up.'  Hey look- it's a young Anton Yelchin.

We get more Poor Bastards and the bad guy escapes.

Cross is taken on an elaborate chase through the streets and onto a train to deliver a ransom of $10 million.

Cool idea- too bad it is from the SIXTH Alex Cross Novel.  Oh well.

Mind you, the Book has Cross end up in Disneyland, so...I can see why they changed it.

He figures out that the ransom was NOT requested by the kidnapper and shoots him with a very literal Chekhov's Gun to kill him.

Too bad the girl is still missing.

Based on zero setup in the Story, we eventually learn that the Secret Service Agent and her Partner (Billy Burker- who we only see twice) knew about the kidnapper's plans and then took the girl from him to get the ransom.

This is at least from the Book, although Cross and her are an item and the girl is actually missing FOR TWO YEARS in that one.

She kills her partner and tries to kill (not kiss) the girl(s) in a Barn.

Cross somehow gets there in time, despite all evidence making this seem impossible and the day is saved.

See you next time...in a Decade when you become Tyler Perry.  The End.

A good Film, but it definitely has more issues overall than the first one.

The structure, for one, is a lot more solid in that Film, since it is a more direct adaptation.  This one stitches in bits from other Books and cuts out big chunks of the actual Book.  It is kind of like how they just started buying up the Ian Fleming Books for Bond Films...and made up entirely unique Stories instead.

That said, the events are shot and acted well as a whole.  The Score does much more of the heavy lifting in this one too, I should note.

The Film does do random things that just kind of make Cross not look too bright.  Aside from missing clues during the first half, he also gets the name of the Kidnapper that the villain emulates wrong- he calls him 'Bruno Hauptmann' when it is actually Richard (Bruno) Hauptmann.  

A weird thing for the expert to get wrong, no?

This does still come recommended for fans of this Genre and the Cross Character.  Just know that it is both more palatable- not dealing with ickier subjects like Kiss the Girls- and also not as good.

To be fair, this Film's Screenwriter only did this- and is credited on Cross- while the other Film's one was a more successful Author and Screenwriter in his own right.

Then again, look how look adorable this kid is....

Next time, I'll make a slight pivot to a different African American Detective on the case.  Was this really good enough to warrant a 1 Season Show on NBC?  Stay tuned...

Don't Cross Me: Kiss the Girls (1997)

 After you've given thanks, now indulge in... the tale of a psychopath kidnapping and abusing women.  Hmm...I could have better timing, I guess.

This is 1997's Kiss the Girls, an adaptation of an Alex Cross Novel.  Curiously, this is the SECOND Novel in the Series- which is now up to 26 (!!!).  Oh well, I'm sure that won't be confusing when I watch the 2nd Film based on the first Book, right?

Right?!?

Anyhow, the Plot involves a twisted man named Cassanova who kidnaps women and keeps them, as opposed to a typical Serial Killer.  To be fair, that kind of killer involves far less upkeep and less trips to Costco to get Milk for 'your ladies.'

Cross is on the case when it gets personal, and he lucks into a woman escaping Cassanova.  Can they (without a Character from the Book that they excised for time) solve the case?

To find out, read on...

Alex Cross is a Psychologist who often works with the Police.  

When we first see him, he talks down a suicidal woman who was beating beaten by her Husband.  

I wonder if the Film will somehow bookend itself with a parallel scene, he asks himself knowingly.

Meanwhile, a man named Cassanova is kidnapping women who he 'loves.'  

He really brings attention to himself, when he breaks his own rule and kills one of them when she, ironically enough, breaks his rules.

I guess we can expect hypocrisy from a psychopath.

Cross' Niece is among Cassanova's victims, but all signs point to her being alive.

His consultation on the case has him meeting with a few Red Herrings...I mean, suspects.

Cassanova makes his next move by kidnapping Dr. Kate McTiernan (no relation to Director John, presumably).

She runs from him, but crashes into a fish tank in her own house.  That's...possible, but a bit weird of a thing to take her down.  Did she just forget about it?

He keeps working the case, unaware of what just happened.  I was kind of expecting a Scene of him or another Detective checking her place, but no.

On the plus side, you can date the Film by him using this old pay phone.

Kate escapes after a long ordeal and has to jump into a river to survive.

The drugs he used on her- combined with her trauma- will soon kill her, but, fortunately, Cross is here to figure out the right Medicine.

Granted- Psychology Doctorates would certainly know their medications, but I still find it odd that the Doctors needed his help here.

Kate works alongside Cross- although he keeps trying to keep her at a distance- as they go to California to follow a lead.

In the Book, it is because Cassanova published a letter- straight out of a Thomas Harris Novel.  I'm probably not going to do a Fiction vs. Fiction on this one though, so don't get your hopes up.

Anyways, the clues lead to...of course, the guy from Friday the 13th: Part 6 (oh right, also Ghost and Scandal)

He gets away- after shooting Jeremy Piven!!!- and they eventually track him down.

Right out of Scream (since everyone seems to think that they invented the Two Killers Twist), he's actually working with a different Serial Kidnapper/Killer on the East Coast.  That one is actually Cassanova.

He shoots and- I think- kills Goldwyn- who is The Gentleman Caller and frees the ladies.

Of course, we didn't actually see Cassanova and he got away.

Cross figures out his identity from matching handwriting on a note to a report signed off on by one of the Agents.

He's a bit late as the guy- Cary Elwes- shows up and fights Kate.  Both are wounded and the gas is leaking.

After failing to talk Elwes down- good prediction, earlier me- he shoots and kills him by firing through a carton of milk, leading to this accidentally hilarious death.

The End.

A good Film- surprisingly with no real caveats this time.

It is a very '90s Thriller, so you already kind of know how you feel about that Genre one way or the other, don't you?  This one is solid.

I could certainly nitpick about a number of little things.  For instance, I was not fooled by the false suspects, even when they brought one back.  I also find it weird to look back in 2023 to see Jeremy Piven playing a guy named 'Castillo.'

In addition, while I'm not espousing guilt one way or the other in this case, seeing Piven (in a small role, mind you) as a guy trying to stop a creep might be awkward after all of the allegations.

That said, the Film was written, shot, edited and Acted well.  It is easy to see why people like it.
I do wish that they could have maybe given Kate a better ending in which she saves herself, but I can forgive it.

As a bonus, here's this DePalma Shot.

Next up, the Sequel...that is actually a Prequel to this Story.  Again- that won't be confusing.  Stay tuned...