Sunday, December 12, 2010

Totally-Photoshopped Cover Art: River of Darkness

There's no rhyme or reason to this update.  I happened to stumble across this hilarious-looking, piece of shit and just had to share it.  This is from a Direct-to-DVD horror film said to come out in 2010 (cutting it a bit close, guys!)...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can''s just...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

For the record, I'm barely-functional at Photoshop, but I'm pretty sure that I could do better!

Can the movie survive this stupid cover art?  Hit me back if you think so.


  1. I've seen way worse photoshop than that. This cover is just the "standard" that has become in the industry. There have to be templates for this shit, because it looks exactly like a thousand other covers in the last few years.

  2. My pal (and occasional Screen Grab! sidekick) the K-Train attempted to watch a Kurt Angle movie once, I'm not sure if it was this one or another (I know there's at least two, sadly)... - he's a big wrestling fan and especially likes Kurt Angle, yet he still couldn't bring himself to finish it. If a lazy fuck like him will actually get up off the couch to take out the DVD that stars some of his favorite performers, you know it's GOTTA be bad overall.

  3. To Erik, I'm not saying that it's the worst. It just struck me as damn funny. Did they notice the discrepancy in the color of his head vs. his body?

    To J. Astro, he's probably seen 'End Game.' The other films Angle has made- including 'Death From Above' and 'The Warrior'- haven't come out yet.

    The link to my review of that film is here:

  4. End Game was so bad. If it were a little more bad, it'd be good. What I don't get is how Kurt Angle can be completely believable in-character live in front of 30,000 people, but it just doesn't happen in the movies (so far).

    Rob Van Dam's movie was pretty good.

  5. 'End Game' definitely should definitely have been either a bit funnier or a bit better. It is an awkward film.

    It did give me the great image of Kurt Angle as the evil clown. I should use that again...

    'Wrong Side of Town' was actually pretty-decent yeah. It's just odd that it's marketed as a film starring Ba(u)tista and Ja Rule, when the two have a combined screen-time of about 15 minutes max.