Screener Flix: The Burning Dead

After so many weird Monster Movies in the last 5 years, this is no surprise.  Today's Film is The Burning Dead, a DTV Film with some odd monsters.  Before I get into it, I should note that this is a Screener, which is something I've only gotten a few of.  Does that mean that I'm going to pull my punches?  Nah.  They want people to Review their Films, not lie about them (I think).  So, with that out of the way, let me talk about the Film.  Well, it involves a Volcano and Zombies.  I'll give you a minute to process all that.  Good?  Good.  I won't lie and say that this makes a lick of sense...but I'm not surprised.  With Sharknado 3 on the way, The Asylum making 3-Headed Shark Attack and...Avengers Grimm (?!?), why not?  I'm going to be less exact on what happens in the Plot (since this is a new Film) and I'm experimenting with the picture/text format.  Feel free to tell me if you love or hate it.  For now though, let's see how this all turns out...

In a cold (get it?) open, we meet an Indian Chief...played by Danny Trejo?  Alright then.  Whatever gets him in the Film, I guess.  He proceeds to tell us a Story...

First, we are in Old West times where Zombies rise from...somewhere and kill off everyone in the camp.  While they are chowing down, however, a nearby Volcano erupts and takes them all out.

In the Present (still narrated by Trejo?), we see a nice, small Town built in the same area.  After giving us action in the first few minutes, we now get lots and lots of Character Building.

We get...
- Family that can't get along.
- Nerdy boyfriend along for the ride.
- Sheriff trying to get people to safety.
- Scientists studying the Volcano and...
- Hot lady who shows her boobs.  Well, that is one reason to be here...

Eventually, we get the reason for this movie- Volcano-related Zombies.

The Mountain explodes with magma at first, but soon we see...green energy come out of it!  Where the balls hit, Zombies crawl out of the ground, looking all molten and rocky.

They seem to be your typical Zombies, but some of them seem to drip magma out of their mouths!  Don't ask me- I didn't write this.

Who will live?  Who will die?  You'll just have to watch to find out.  Sorry, but I avoid these...

This is...a weird mix.  On one hand, it is a basic, by-the-numbers Disaster Film that would be on Syfy on any given Saturday.  On the other hand, it is a Zombie Film at the same time.  Where do I start?  How do the Zombies come back?  Why are there so many?  What is that green stuff shooting out of the Volcano?  Why is Danny Trejo an Indian?  I'm not going to say that it is bad, because the Acting is decent, the CG is alright and it is actually shot pretty well.  There aren't too many moments that make me roll my eyes- outside of the Premise that is- and they do some good Zombie-related gore.  No complaints in that department.  The whole thing is just really odd though.  It feels like either a silly Film collided with a Disaster Film or a Disaster Film tried to be silly...but only half-heartedly.  It is not quite goofy enough to be something like Sharknado.  It is not quite good enough to be something like The Day After Tomorrow.  It feels like this could be turned into something either really serious or really silly- sadly, neither was quite achieved here.  It is not a wasted effort- as the Film is usually quite decent- but it is definitely not either one of the two things that they may or may not have been going for.  I can't stay too mad though...

Next up, I've got another Screener to check out, so I don't want to make people wait.  More Indy Horror- should be interesting.  Stay tuned...