Project Terrible: Meltdown- Days of Destruction

At this point and time, let's consider the end of the World.  After all, that is a Terrible thing...

If this is punishment, then I should do bad things more often.  Last Round, I gave Bob the Film Sleeping Beauty by The Asylum.  I just wanted to give him a Terrible one by them- it didn't quite work.  That Film Starred (as much as any Film can) Casper Van Dien, so I get this 2006 gem Starring Casper too.  The Film is Meltdown: Days of Destruction.  It is about the end of the World as we know it- Leonard Bernstein!  Sorry- like most people, that is the only part of the song that I remember.  So what is the Film about?  It involves some silly Science (well, alot of it!) that leads to the Earth overheating due to being closer to the Sun.  Who is there to save the day?  Why it is the whitest Rico in human history (even more than this guy), of course.  There is very much in the vein of stuff like The Day After Tomorrow...just with about 1/100th of the Budget.  It costs more to truck in lots of snow (fake or otherwise) than it does to just say that it is hot outside.  This isn't good, but is it Terrible?  To find out, read on...

The Earth is in trouble- a Meteor is going to hit it!

They manage to stop a direct collision, but a partial hit causes the Earth to get knocked out of Orbit.

In lieu of this Film's terrible CG effects, I will just show you the same thing from the Thundarr intro.

With the world...or just the area around Los Angeles (that we are shown) in peril, we must rely on...

Shit.

I have to highlight one weird bit: they explain that Cars will now blow up due to the Heat causing the fuel to go back into the tank (or something).  Hey, Mythbusters...

That's the appropriate response, yeah.

Now here's the thing: the whole 'Earth is heating up' thing is always part of the Plot, but they just say it...alot.  There's no major effects related to it.

Instead, you get a bunch of people walking around and saying that it is hot and talking about hard it all is.

Oh and apparently Manhole Covers are not hot to the touch, even when it is over 140 degrees outside.

After a real anti-climax of a finale (they just stop fighting- seriously), it starts to rain, showing that apparently the other Planets bumped us back into Orbit.  Paging Neil DeGrasse Tyson.  The End.

It is really just kind of nothing.  Once you get past the silly, Sci-Fi Premise, you have a Film about people walking around, sometimes driving and always talking about back-story.  Yea?  Seriously, just saying that the Earth is heating up alot isn't exactly an exciting effect to show.  Snowstorms- yes.  Hurricanes- yes.  Gradually-raising air temperatures- no.  In a weird attempt to cover for how lackadaisical this all is, they throw in Action Scenes every fifteen to twenty minutes.  Good to know that people are still following Sid Field's ideas for Screenwriting!  The Action Scenes are just so damn pointless.  They are only there to try and make things more interesting.  They don't really work, since they are just so shallow.  The Science is obviously an issue, as it just feels so phony.  I could be wrong about some of it...but it still sounds silly as hell.  The Story really does veer away from it, save for having the one Scientist guy in the group.  Don't these things tend to focus on people trying to work on the problem?  Here- they just want to get out of the City and fly to Antarctica.  That's it.  The fact that there is a happy Ending is purely coincidental.  There are brief moments where the dynamic is interesting in the group, but you mostly just get, well, Soap Opera Acting.  Weird fact: the dynamic of the group is nearly identical to the one in Sharknado.  Coincidence?  Yes.  I mean, I saw this Movie, but who else did?  This Film is pretty dull, pretty listless and pretty bad...but not Terrible.  You guys have two more tries still.  In the meantime, I will wonder if this Meltdown is more interesting...

Next up, I continue to keep Project Terrible rolling with Michele's Pick.  Is it Hell-bent or get bent?  Stay tuned...