Project Terrible: Ardennes Fury

We're back getting to the Terrible!  Naturally, let's start with The Asylum....

It is all sound and Fury, signifying laziness.  Today's Film is Ardennes Fury and...do I need to explain this?  Just in case, I will.  This is the knock-off version of Fury, the WWII Film with Brad Pitt, but NOT Christoph Waltz.  For the record, I never saw it.  This isn't about 'Which Fury' is better then- it's just about how subpar this one is.  On the scale of Asylum Films, this...is nothing all that interesting.  As a recent Film, I guess it shows that they can make Films better than they used to.  They used to make Death Racers (future PT Review), mind you, so the bar was low.  The Story is pretty simple: a bunch of Soldiers with a Tank do battle behind enemy lines.  That's pretty much all there is here.  As far as the group dynamic, there's not much to it.  As far as tank action, well, you know what is coming.  There is a little bit of basic Story to get the Film from beginning to end, but that's about it.  It is not good.  It might be bad.  The question is this: is it Terrible?  To find out, read on, Soldier...

This is our group of Soldiers (plus the lady they eventually rescue).  It is nice to see a black Soldier in the group, but that's the only thing of note here.

I hope you enjoy this shot of a tank- there aren't many.  It is pretty much just for the beginning and the End.

I think there may have been more tank shots in Dead Snow: Red vs Dead!

You are not Brad Pitt.  On the plus side, you aren't C. Thomas Howell, who I was expecting to Star.

On the plus side, there are a bunch of Action Scenes.  On the negative side, they are just...meh.

I won't SPOIL things here (although the Twists are obvious).  I will say that they get all dark and dramatic in lieu of a good, interesting Story.  Aw.  The End.

War is Hell, this movie is Meh.  It isn't really bad, but it isn't really good either.  It is so middle of the road that it should have a long, yellow line down it!  The Acting isn't noteworthy.  The Story is uninspired.  The Direction is satisfactory, but otherwise un-noteworthy.  I wish I could say more.  Unfortunately, that would require more work than they really put into this Film.  I've seen better.  I've seen worse.  This isn't Terrible- it is just unimpressive.  In lieu of Sad Keanu, here is Sad Brad...

Up next, a second Asylum Film for Project Terrible.  Can they live up to the cinematic excellence that is The Expendables 3?  Stay tuned...