Three Witches: Warlock 3

Let's close up this witching chapter of Mondo Bizarro with a look at the third and final film in the series.  Mind you, I call it a series very, very loosely.  Considering that the first film is about a time-traveling magician, the second film is about the Son of Satan and this film is about this guy trying to kill the descendant of a witch.  Sadly, this film is bereft of Julian Sands, although they do have a decent fill-in.  New to the role- and only doing it once- is Bruce Payne, a man most people would recognize as either Damodar from Dungeons & Dragons or Kell from Highlander: Endgame.  He is a classically-trained theater actor from England, but he does stuff like this?  That would be sad if it wasn't so common.  The other thing notable about this movie is what else was lost or changed.  For starters, a different company owns the rights to this movie.  I guess it's a Terminator situation, huh?  Secondly, the movie took six years to get made and was not released theatrically.  Anyone still optimistic?  Anyhow, let's close this book with...

Warlock 3: The End of Innocence

The movie begins with a flashback to the 16th Century involving a woman running around in the woods and being chased by a warlock.  Guys, you are giving me flashbacks to both Troll 2 and Leprechaun 2.  Is this what you want to inspire?!?  In the present, we are introduced to our heroine who is extremely-generic.  I try to find something interesting in actors, but damn is she dull!  Her friends, however, spend their first scene engaging in some handcuffed lap-dancing.  I think we have officially reached 'the end of innocence' now!  The plot of the film involves our heroine wanting to go to an old family estate to get some heirlooms before reconstruction work is done.  That means leaving on the weekend before mid-terms to get the stuff.  In a rare bit of story logic, the friends put work over play and refuse to go.  That's creative!  I wonder where they're going to go with this.  Before our hero gets there, a man is killed by a force in the window.  Who is he?  Nobody.  Why is this important?  It's not.  Our heroine's first night is filled with all of the cliches- creaking boards, thunderstorm and freaky mirror spirits.  What?  You don't see those every night?  All of this builds up to...the friends showing up.  Thanks for nothing, plot thread.

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Around this time, the fifth wheel of the group- the one without a lady- opens up a rusty pipe and lets loose the warlock.  I guess he was hanging out with his buddies from Dark Water.  Since he is a stoner,- why not- he ignores this reveal.  An art historian shows up to warn our heroine about the whole family curse involving the warlock.  Speaking of which, a mysterious man shows up and talks in a British accent.  Witch!  Of course, only our secondary heroine figures out that something is awry.  Since she is a Wiccan (not a Druid!) with a magical necklace, she is immune to his powers.  Unfortunately, the fifth wheel is not and gets manipulated into helping our villain.  How?  He is in love with our heroine, so he plays along.  Oh and we get another BDSM scene with the couple- thanks, movie.  When our Wiccan finally confronts the Warlock, she learns that a lock of her hair was stolen by the stoner guy, as well as her necklace.  He turns her into glass and shatters her.  He uses his powers to capture everyone else.  He tortures and abuses them until they 'give her up' (a nod to the stone retrieval in Part 2, maybe).  The BDSM couple get tortured Hellraiser-style until they concede.  The big sacrifice goes pretty well until our heroine moves slightly out of the way and fights back.  A big fight ensues & the pompous warlock goes down thanks to a knife hidden in a doll.  Hey, don't look at me- I didn't write it!  The End.

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This movie is really not that good.  It has some good magical effects in it, but they are nothing compared to Part 2.  Payne does a good job, but I can't help but miss Sands here.  You guys could have just called this The End of Innocence, you know, and saved yourself this problem.  The plot is just not up to par for what you would expect with this series.  The first two films involve a warlock trying to end all of existence or bring Hell to Earth.  This one- he just wants power.  If you can turn people to glass, you should learn to just accept what you have!  If I could turn people into glass, well, I would not bother with a silly website about movies.  The film is about what you expect with direct-to-video films from this era and nothing more.  You could have done so much more, guys!  Oh well.

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Next up, a bad movie about witches with an even worse transfer.  Can I complain about a film transfer when the movie is also this bad?  Yes, yes I can.  Stay tuned...