Seriously, you've got to see this crap! This 2006 film features cheesy acting, a silly story and special effects that would have looked like crap in 1995! The plot is completely goofy and involves a couple odd coincidences coming together. Who's on tap for B-D Movie Star Checklist? Jeff Fahey! Tony Todd! Dee Wallace! What kind of plot do we have? It's a mix of a 'monster on the loose' film, a revenge film, a crime film and random stock footage. I should also point out that the title makes very little sense, even if you force the narrative to make it do so. In addition, I want you to know how I discovered this film. While scouring YouTube for silly clips, I found a video entitled 'The Worst Special Effects Ever.' While that's not true- I still consider it to be either Feeders or Birdemic- this one is pretty bad. I'll link it at the end of the review for you, as to not SPOIL anything just yet. Go with me on a journey as we attempt to decipher...
* At a lab, Jeff Fahey and Dee Wallace have created a dinosaur. Why a T-Rex? According to Wallace's character, it's 'sexier.' No, really.
* As you can see, the creature has a love of people and badly-composited shots.
* It also leaves a mess everywhere it goes. That's what eating bums will do to you though- trust me!
* In one laughable scene, one of the villains drives away in his car. This abruptly turns into what is clearly '70s stock footage! Why?!?
* He crashes into a power station and dies, but only after the dinosaur apparently scares him. Good- that makes this whole bit relevant now!
* Clearly the strain of this shit is really wearing poor Dee out. "I was in 'The Howling,' dammit!!!"
* In the finale, the dinosaur comes back to the lab for one last showdown. But first, he has to do something really silly...
* Who said white dinosaurs can't jump? That will show you...
* No, this is not the dinosaur flying away from a rocket fart. However, what actually happens here is just about silly. If you want to find out, watch the film...or this clip. Do watch the film though- it's a riot!
Holy crap- this sucks! The plot of this movie is just a bit silly. Since I didn't cover it much in the actual review, I'll give you a basic rundown. Fahey and Wallace are targeted by Todd as part of his revenge scheme. In the process of trying to steal the titular formula, he accidentally sets the dinosaur free. The narrative splits pretty randomly between the dinosaur killing nameless pedestrians and the Die Hard-style action in the lab. So by giving you two movies, this should be a good deal- right? Wrong. Both of them suck and it really just feels like the Director can't make up his mind. Of course, this is the Director of Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College. The appeal/downfall of this movie are the Special Effects, which appear to be cobbled together with a use of hand puppets, some miniatures, a doll or two & some terrible CG. Kudos for at least mixing your use of CG up a bit, I guess. Unfortunately, all of the methods used are pretty crappy. It's easy to see why this guy worked on Carnosaur and Carnosaur 3. Honestly, as dumb as the film is, I encourage you all to see it. Is it something to own? Maybe. It's definitely something that you have to see. If you love '90s Special Effects in a film made in 2006, this is your movie. Just don't tell this guy about them ever making a sequel...
Next up, The Asylum is back to haunt my dreams in the first of 6 movies this month! First up, there's Snakes on a Train- sigh. Stay tuned...
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