You weren't really trying, were you? Even by Asylum standards, this is just a lazy title. The writer just said 'What's the monster in this movie? A Dragon? Let's just call it Dragon then!" Actually, it's not even that stupid. You see, the movie's box art uses a very odd font, making their 'd' appear to be an upside-down 'e.' That's right- this is Eragon, bitches! While that movie did not do well, this did not stop The Asylum from making this movie...since they have to make them ahead of time to time it right. Does this plot match up to the failed cinematic epic? Nope. Not in the slightest. This plot sucks, but you kind of already know that. To see how much it sucks, read on. Let's go chase the...
The movie begins with a shit-ton of narration. Basically, two nations are at war. They don't show any of it, but trust me, it's happening. The Princess is out in the woods for some reason, she needs to get to the Castle and it's not safe. Sure enough, giant, angry Smurfs attack her. Thankfully, a very-obviously-CG Dragon shows up to kill them...and leave hear alone. That's both convenient and completely out-of-character for later. Good job, guys! She wanders for a bit more before being attacked...again. This time, two guys with swords save her. In summary, our heroine is helpless. The two join up with her, explaining that the rest of their companions are dead. Oh good- I didn't want to see that battle! They wander for a bit more- after the Princess changes clothes- until they are attacked by a trio of people. Ruh roh!
After an alright fight, the trio reveal that they are Dragon hunters. Wow, that would sure be helpful right now. By the way, the Producers wanted you to remember their one F/X shot so far, so the Princess flashes back to the Dragon attack. It still looks like shit- good job! They meet up with a Witch and an Elf. This Elf is a lady with a bow, since that cliche can never die. First Legolas and now this! She tells them that they have kill the Dragon because...um, they have to. I'm not sure that I believe unless you can play with the bloom effect in Adobe...
If you're still awake and following the plot by this point, you're better than me. Okay, I was awake...but I didn't care. They fight more Dark Elves...or whatever they are and try to fight the Dragon. We learn the shocking twist that the Dragon hunters have never actually killed a Dragon before. Wow, you're completely-useless then. A bunch of them die and the Witch's prediction that one of them would die comes true. The day is saved, the Dragon is dead and...well, the war is still going on. Good luck with that, guys. The End.
This is bad- what a shock! The plot of this movie is, well, not complete. You see, these idiots couldn't afford to make a movie on the scale of Eragon. I can't say much for Eragon quality-wise (never saw it), it does have CG effects, real actors and big sets in it. This film...has the Woods. I can't confirm it, but would anyone be shocked if these Woods were the same ones from Alien vs. Hunter. They just have to be, right? This is the biggest problem is this- we're watching the middle portion of a film trilogy. You just skipped past all that set-up and character development & made a confusing film. The plot involves a war, a King and a Castle- none of which we see! Just imagine if George Lucas made a whole film about Luke on Dagobah and that's it. That's this film in a nutshell. None of the characters are interesting, the pacing is bad and the whole thing is just lame. There are some laughs to be had here, but you have to be patient. If you try to watch this film in one sitting, this will happen to you...
Up next, a film with almost the same title from the same company. This one has a key advantage- Beastmaster! Stay tuned...
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