Sunday, June 19, 2011

Pappa's Day: Stepfather 2- Make Way For Daddy

Ha ha- I skipped the original!  Seriously though, what was I going to say about the original?  It's famous, people like it and Locke kills people.  Instead, I just jumped right to the only other Stepfather film featuring Terry O'Quinn's pretty much the same.  I could just say 'It's Stepfather, but with Lucas from SeaQuest DSV and the evil lady from They Live' and be done with it.  It's tempting, but no.  Instead, I'll labor on through the highly-unnecessary sequel just for you.  Hell, maybe I'll get to the third film soon...but probably not.  Let's just cut the cake and watch out for...
The film begins with a 1-minute montage explaining the first movie.  On the plus side, it's not over ten minutes like Decadent Evil!  It ends with the stepfather being stabbed and waking up in a hospital.  Yeah, your heart works with a giant hole in the middle of it!  They skip over this film cheat to explain that he's serving time in a mental hospital, as opposed to a jail.  He seems to be making strides in the right direction...until he stabs the Warden with a shiv shaped like a Groom from a wedding cake.  The escape is so easy that the film doesn't show it.  Oh well- time to rehash the first movie...
With relative ease, the evil guy ends up with that evil lady from They Live.  Due to her unnatural red hair, her eyes look super-creepy.  Seriously, stop giving Meg Foster close-ups.  Oh right- the plot.  Blah blah blah, the guy bonds with the guy from SeaQuest DSV and The Neverending Story: Part II blah blah blah they are happy.  The only thing that could break up the happy couple is the arrival of the ex-husband.  After spending five minutes setting up the obvious, the guy gets killed by 'Locke' and his body disposed of.  You know, there are prints everywhere, so you're going to get caught.  Plus, you whistle a lot, which is a major plot point.  No, really.
As the wedding approaches, problems arise.  For one, a woman in the neighborhood gets too close to the truth.  To put a stop to this, our villain chokes her to death, plants her body in a noose and then types up a suicide note.  Seriously, you're leaving fingerprints everywhere!  Unless this movie takes place in the 15th Century, you should have already been caught.  The wedding nearly happens, until Ms. Creepy-Eyes connects the 15 random plot threads and realizes that he's a murderer.  They have a fight, which oddly has lots of shots of the woman being tossed into hard objects.  'Lucas' tries to save the day and ends up stabbing the stepfather.  Oh no- he's dead now.  It's not like the series will just cheat again and have him survive for one more film and then a remake a decade or so later.  The End.
I feel like this movie was already made once.  The plot of this movie is, well, predictable.  The stepfather guy finds a new family and ultimately tries to kill them.  I get that it's the basic premise, but maybe you could mix it up a little.  You could throw in a sub-plot with mobsters or something.  I'm not asking for a lot- just an attempt!  They don't.  We only get a few real kills in the movie, which is apparently because we needed to leave room for scenes of the stepfather giving therapy to some suburban housewives.  Ha- it's funny because...wait, why are these scenes in the movie?  Plus, all the bits of him and the kid getting along are really just pointless, aren't they?  I mean, we know he's a killer, so it's not designed to throw us off guard for later or anything.  On the plus side, it has inappropriate scenes of a woman being beaten up, so it is good for some dark humor.  Ultimately, the film is just pointless, offering nothing new and just treading water.  You're in good company now, alongside films like Damien: The Omen II- hurray!
Next up, Real vs Fake Week begins properly with a much-hyped 'fake documentary horror' film.  Will it be a good film or just insult the memory of Marjoe Gortner?  Stay tuned...

1 comment:

  1. Why? Why a sequel? Locke wasn't all that good at it the first time! Weird to see his ugly head with hair.