How is this the best one I've covered this week? This little 2009 film is all about a ninja. For once, we get some honesty. This one doesn't feature a ninja avoiding a fight or ninjas striking first instead of striking back. This actually has a ninja going around and killing people. A novel concept- I know! While this film is not good in the classical sense, it is a silly delight to behold. As such, I'll give you a basic overview in yet another Review in Pictures (Ninja Edition). Enjoy the random randomness of...
* Remember Steve Oedekerk from Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. Well, our hero is basically the same character, only meant to be taken seriously. I mean, just look at this guy! The entire GNC franchise would die if he ever stopped working out!
* He has a jealous rival at the Ninja Academy, since our hero is an orphan raised there. By the way, watch that whole 'finding my mother' sub-plot die a sudden and dramatic death in about 20 minutes. As for his rival, things go badly...
* The rival goes off and becomes a ninja assassin. No, he's not Rain! It's hard to imagine what would happen if you spend 20 years training a guy to be a ninja and then kick him out in disgrace too. Oh yeah, this evil company is off to do...um, evil stuff.
* The ninja gets his revenge on the people that trained him as part of his quest to get a box full of old stuff. By the way, when is Tom Clancy going to sue the makers of this film...
* Our heroine ends up being captured by the bad guys. Think that they tied her up tight enough? I think you missed a loop or two...
* The 'evil company' plot and the 'revenge/getting the box plot' co-mingle in the finale. One of the random Croatian thugs learns why you don't mess with no ninja!
* In the final showdown, our hero finally puts on the ninja outfit. It's about bloody time, guy! I'm sorry- I turned British there for a moment. They fight and we are treated to lots more CG blood. Can you guess who wins, who loses and who uses a random Chekov's Gun to save the day? The End.
Wow- you don't totally suck! After yesterday's disappointment, I'm just glad to get a simple plot that lives up to its potential. Two rival ninjas- good. They actually fight too, making the whole thing actually have a point. The plot involves a box full of ninja gear...and they actually use it! I'm so easily impressed, thanks to freaking Ninja Vengeance! Seriously though, this movie is a lot of fun, even though it feels cheap (check out the CG blood and the obvious studio back-lot set) and is incredibly-generic. You've seen this movie many times...but you keep watching this movie. Watch it again. You may not be proud of it, but it is fun to watch. It's like (insert thing you like here)! Who says that I use silly pictures as a crutch?
Next up, it's Father's Day. What better way to celebrate than with a movie where Locke tries to kill Lucas from SeaQuest DSV. Stay tuned...
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