Saturday, May 10, 2014

My Crazy Youth: That Time The Transformers Fought A Wizard In Another Dimension!

I was going to to Batman Beyond (and I will), but...holy crap- this must be seen.  For people my age, Transformers was a big influence.  For the record though, I was more of a He-Man guy than a G.I. Joe or Transformers guy.  To set this up, you have to remember Transformers: The Movie.  That...that was a traumatic.  The Studio Heads/Toy Company Executives pretty much just murdered chunks of our childhood in that film.  Oh, the horrors.  In the aftermath, the Show continued for two Seasons.  Did you hear that, G.I. Joe- you can continue after your movie!  I honestly don't remember much of the Show after the Movie- I'm not sure why.  I can tell you that it takes an odd turn into being almost entirely in Space & getting more and more separated from reality.  Yes, it is a show about Robots that turn into Cars- I know.  There's always a balance when making something Sci-Fi that still has a connection to us humans.  It is a weird thing to try and explain, but you know what I mean.  Speaking of weird, something very odd happens in this Episode.  I was scanning the Episode Descriptions on Netflix Streaming and...well, I had to see this.  It just is.  You'll see...
The only remaining Human Characters on the Show are witnessing some sort of Ceremony with...that thing.  The kid goes off with Grimlock (my favorite Transformer- just for the record) and...
...finds something that would make those hacks at Ancient Aliens shit themselves!  This leads to them stepping into a Portal to another Dimension (naturally) and it is ruled by...
 ...a Wizard?

Well, if they worked a Witch into Star Wars, I guess there's no shame in...this also being stupid.
Grimlock and the kid run across...Ent/Centaur/Boar creatures.

Seriously, what in the name of H.R. Giger are these monstrosities?  Clive Barker probably saw this one day and went 'I got nothing.'  Damn.
As it turns out, there is a fake Wizard in charge and he was fooling Grimlock.  Tricking a Dinobot is kind of like knocking out a white Boxer- you did something that was going to happen anyways.
Eventually, the other Transformers show up, since we need to have a Climax.

Oh and if you were wondering, this Dimension is one where prisoners were exiled to Eons ago (before they got a Phantom Zone) and things just got strange.  Happy now?
They eventually find the proper Ruler and free him.  He uses help save the day.  Joy.
After all of that, they go back to whatever Planet they were on and forget about this weird diversion.

Yes, it is weird for a Show that also featured Starscream's Ghost.  The End.
Hot damn- what the hell?!?  In all seriousness, the actual Layout and Execution is not that weird.  You get the Villain, the Heroes and the essential Conflict.  The weird part- everything else.  Why a Wizard?  Why another Dimension?  Why any of this?!?  It is like someone came up with a weird idea and sold it to the same Studio that made Transformers.  When every other Show said 'What?  No!' they gave it to this Show.  Someone was paid $5 to make up a way to connect it.  'Uh, I don't know...a Portal to another Dimension, maybe.'  It is weird.  Have I mentioned that yet?  Good.  That said, the show featured Grimlock as the real Lead, so I'm good with that.  If he's voiced by Gregg Berger in the new Film, I might be willing to see it...on a year later.  I will simply close with the best thing I have ever made in Paint.  Your move, Internet Meme Engine!

Next up, I won't put off Batman Beyond any longer.  To give you an idea, the Writers of the previous Episode talk about how glad they were to NOT work on this.  Stay tuned...

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