Saturday, December 5, 2009

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Duel to the Death

Life can be hard, but at least you have your God on your side, right? Well, not if you are this poor Monk from my favorite ninja movie of all time.

If you have not read the full review, the plot revolves around the annual duel between China and Japan's best fighters. This draws in a lot of people, including the man who is today's subject.

In only his second scene, he is attacked by ninjas. Not just any ninjas though. They first appear as a giant ninja, turn into several sand-burrowing ones and finally one naked lady ninja, who throws a net on him. He spends the rest of the movie captured until he is released by our Chinese hero. This is where things start to look up...

The Chinese man refuses to go on with the duel and decides to leave with the Monk. To spur him on to fight, the Japanese man jumps up and kills the Monk! What did he do to deserve that?!?

Up next, some poor guys die in a Lambert film for...being somewhere, I guess. Stay tuned...

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