The Real White Meat: Eaten Alive! (1980)

People loved cannibals in the 1970s, although I can only wonder why. Was it the mystique of a culture unlike ours? Was it the fear of a foreign environment full of enemies? Was it our love of seeing natives shot full of holes? Regardless of the reason, this sub-genre exploded across the world and filled 42nd Street theaters for months. Today's film is not the first one, nor is it the last. It is a curious one though and it was made by Umberto Lenzi, the man behind The Man From Deep River and, later on, Cannibal Ferox. Fun fact for you: it's star- Robert Kerman- is in three of these movies (Eaten, Ferox and Holocaust). In between, he made at least two dozen porn films, including the Debbie Does Dallas series. Good times, good time. The other thing to note about this film is that also incorporated a real-life event into its narrative. Let's not waste any more time & simply bite down into...

Eaten Alive!

Our story proper begins with some people being shot by a blow dart thanks to a weird South American man in normal attire. On the third attack in NYC, he flees from the police, only to be run over by a truck. After this, we are introduced to our heroine, who is a Southern heiress who is trying to find her sister. By the way, her accent- and her sister's- makes for some fun dubbing humor. Anyhow, her sis has fallen in with a bizarre cult leader who is located in South America. Figured out the real-life event yet? She is given the 'it's hopeless, so don't even bother trying' speech, but doesn't listen. One stock footage of a plane later and she is in another continent. Stumbling into a bar that's a mix of the Star Wars Cantina and the one from Over the Top, she discover a macho man (Kerman) who can help her. He initially tells her 'no,' but changes his tune when he is offered thousands of dollars. If you have even seen one 'jungle peril' film, nothing in this part will surprise you that much. They ride in a boat, the film cuts to real animal fighting footage, etc. They also run afoul of some natives, but no real trouble arises. Now, when they get to their destination, that's when the fun starts.

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When the duo finally arrives, they find that the situation is not exactly friendly. After braving the fear of natives, they discover that the cult leader is running a nice little set-up...nice for him, anyways. In case there was any doubt about this being a true 'grindhouse' film, the whole middle of the film makes that part clear. We get a scene of some animals being cut open and eaten- hello, PETA. Another scene shows us the villagers gathered around in the center to watch one of the native men having sex with one of the women. In addition, there is a real shortage of tops on women, although bottoms are fairly-common. Go figure. Our heroes play along with the idea of joining the cult, although they are clearly not interested. The guy plays his hand close to his chest, but one of the native men has suspicions. Our hero puts an end to that by beating up the guy when he accuses him of drinking alcohol, which apparently is all you need to do. Our heroine, however, is having a harder time. She breaks the adage of 'don't drink the water' which is more like 'don't drink the fruit juice' here. Amongst her many indignities are having her body painted gold (a trend, as you will see) and having her body violated. By the way, if you want a progressive film for women, look elsewhere.

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Welcome to the Third Act, ladies and gentlemen. Our hero and the two sisters agree that they must escape before things escalate too far. They are joined by a native women (a Lenzi regular and co-star of Ferox and Deep River) who can aid them in getting through the jungles. You see, the whole place is in fact surrounded by a tribe of head-hunters and cannibals. On the plus side, the rent is cheap- ba dum bum ching! They go to leave in the middle of the night, but find the younger sister is comatose, thanks to the juice. This forces them to tie her up and carry her. Come morning, the leader figures this out and sends his men out. While our hero wakes up the drugged woman, our villain's thugs catch up to the two women! Given their head-start, are the heroes really slow or are the villains super-fast? Faster than you can say 'women's liberation,' the two women are naked and being raped. Worst kids film, ever! Thankfully, some other natives show up and kill their attackers...and them. In a lovely effects shot, we even see the sister get one of her boobs cut off and eaten in front of her. The others arrive too late to help and flee to a helicopter. Back at the village, the cult leader has the members drink from a big batch of juice and they die. Do you get it now? Back in America, the girl is alive, but the money is gone and the leader got away. Sequel bait, anyone? The End.

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The movie is not bad, but it is not all that great either. The plot is pretty simple & the inclusion of the 'Jim Jones' idea is interesting. Ultimately though, the actual film does little to distinguish itself. You get all the tropes and cliches of the genre. In fact, you literally get moments from The Man From Deep River in the film, in the form of a couple make-up shots! That said, the actual acting is pretty good, especially when you consider the effect that dubbing has on it. Since this is a Shriek Show DVD and not an Anchor Bay, you are stuck with the American release. With all that said, it is refreshing to not see a super-happy ending forced onto the film. Compare this to Massacre in Dinosaur Valley, which ends with our hero blasting natives down with a shotgun. You'd think that you were watching Resident Evil 5! If you embrace all of the gore, ignore the real animal footage and are not bothered by a boat-load of nudity, you can enjoy yourself. It is definitely not for everyone though. Those with remotely weak stomachs should avoid this film and the entire sub-genre altogether.

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Next up, I take on a Russ Meyer classic. Get out your bustiers and hot pants! Stay tuned...