Monday, November 30, 2009

Mondo Dictionary: Christopher Walken Role

We all know who Christopher Walken is. No matter what movie he's in, the man is always good. Not all of the movies he chooses to appear in are, however. Usually in those films, he has a very small role, which makes you like him even more. It's like the tiny crack of golden light that made its way into Danae's room while she was locked up by her father...but I digress. Here are some examples of other Christopher Walken Roles not played by the man himself.

Laserblast: Roddy Mcdowall briefly appears in this crappy movie as a doctor. In only his third scene, he is killed off and the movie suffers for it. Mind you, it's about a teenager who discovers an abandoned alien weapon in the desert, so it was not great to begin with.

Cyclone (1987): Jeffrey Combs has a small, but pivotal role in this Fred Olen Ray film. Sadly, the plot is centered around his character's death. This is not a SPOILER, mind you, as the film's own plot synopsis mentions it. As the only good actor in it (save for Robert Quarry in his last gasps of stardom), he needs to be, you know, the star!

Jason Goes To Hell: Let's face facts: Steven Williams as Creighton Duke was the best character. While he survives most of the film and has a bunch of scenes, he is often forgotten about for the main story featuring John D. LeMay, who is not up to par. Besides the fact that Kane Hodder's Jason is written out of most of the film.

Every bad kung-fu film with Pat Morita: This is a given, right? I mean, the man has appeared in so many of these movies. The man was in American Ninja 5, as well as Bloodsport II and III! In Ninja, he appears once in the first ten minutes and once in the last five. If there ever was a man who embodied the Christopher Walken Role besides Mr. Walken himself, it was Pat!

I could go on, but you get the point. This is a standard of all genres, ranging from action to comedy to horror. It would be nice if movie-makers would figure this out and focus their films on the good characters. I'm asking for too much, aren't I?

Up next, a new term for really over-done writing. I think you'll get my drift. Stay tuned...