Mondo Dictionary: Wrestling Haircut

You guys probably aren't as big wrestling fans as I am, but this one is still sort of interesting. Pro-wrestling is an industry built around one mantra: make everything a story. One of your wrestlers (Brian Pillman) has injured his ankle, so what do you do? Have another wrestler (Steve Austin) attack his ankle with a chair, thus creating the term 'Pillman-ize.' Of course, the most famous example of this is the Montreal Screw-job. I don't need to explain that one, do I? With all that said, let's get into today's word: the Wrestling Haircut.

Basically, if you want to change your look dramatically, make it a story. I'll give some examples.

Kurt Angle- the man's hair was fading out in the front, so he wanted to go all 'Mr. Clean.' Thus, a match between him and Edge was made in which the loser was forced to shave his head. Guess who won.

Roxxi- the woman's gimmick as a voodoo queen (just go with it) required her to have purple hair for well over a year. All that dye was killing her roots, so she wanted to go short. Thus a Knockout (read: women) match was made where the loser had their head shaved.

Kevin Nash- this successful wrestler had gotten hired to play 'The Russian' in 2004's The Punisher. But, the character needed a buzz-cut, so Nash needed to cut his locks. Guess who got booked in a Loser Must Get Their Head Shaved match?

Big Show- the man's hair was fading out in the front, so he wanted to pull a 'Mr. Clean' as well. Rather than being booked in a match, he was booked in a bizarre angle. In a feud with The Angle Alliance (one of two groups on Smackdown at the time), he was shot with a giant dart full of elephant tranquilizer...and had his head shaved.

Yeah, that last one was weird. Just picture Kurt Angle going to a website to order animal tranquilizers and a dart gun that is used by circuses and zoos. Back now? Okay then. Remember- the wrestling industry is built around nothing but reality. Stay tuned...