Monday, November 23, 2009

Bi-Polar Theater: Moon Child (2003)

Why make one movie when you can make two? That is the question addressed in Moon Child, which dares to turn into a drastically-different movie right at the twenty minute mark. What inspires this? What builds up to this kind of atonal shift? Now to be fair, I should know what to expect just by the name of the movie's star: Gackt. Yes, that is a real name that someone actually uses. He is a Japanese pop star that actually embraced the idea of playing a vampire so much that he told a reporter that he was born in 1540! The film also stars a singer named Hyde, proving that this movie is full of people that don't follow logical nomenclature. Bear in mind that these facts prove to be far more interesting than the movie does. It is...
Our story begins with a pair of youths living out on the streets. Life is not good for them, especially when a scary man tries to mess with them for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Fortunately, a strange adult (Hyde) shows up to save them. He does not hang around though, choosing the more Man With No Name approach. The boys grow up to be thugs for hire and run across the same man...who has not aged. That should be the first thing that draws your attention. They decide to partake in a fun action scene involving kung-fu, shooting and wire-work. This movies sounds fun, right? This is where the fun stops, readers.
*
After this, the movie gets really melodramatic. In the aftermath of this fun scene, the group argues and breaks up. We get a poignant shot or two of Gackt staring at Hyde longingly, which is a staple of this movie. The movie is not about them being in love or anything, so why is this there? Did they just leave the cameras on or something? Either way, the film gets mopy as all hell and does another time jump. Gackt and Hyde meet up and the former tries to convince the latter to turn one of their female acquaintances into a vampire. Why? Because she is dying of a brain tumor. Yeah, good plan there, Einstein! You want her to be immortal with a brain tumor as opposed to dying from it! I should let you write American war strategies, I think. Much like another vampire who is in theaters right now, he refuses, which causes them to fight. To add to the melodrama, by the way, the scene takes place in the rain.
*
The movie gets a little better after this, but ends in a really dumb way. I won't spoil it for you though...if you are actually crazy enough to watch this. The End.
*
Oh my God, this movie is a giant lie. They lure you in with some fun action scenes, but quickly turn the film into Fried Green Tomatoes...with Gackt and a gay vampire. The DVD release in America is disguised as a horror film, making the whole thing all the worse. Much like Snuff, the whole thing is built around a lie and marketed as such. They should be ashamed of themselves for doing this. Over in Asia, the film is marketed as it actually is. This is pretty much on par with the whole Zombi(e) thing in America. Nothing should be compared to that marketing travesty.
*
Up next, my 400th post covers a pair of films that dare to be sequels without the actual stars. To make it better, they are both built around ripping off the same guy. Stay tuned...

2 comments:

  1. I don't know if it helps that in the plot of the story, the vampire Kei raises young Sho, so he's a father figure. And the woman that Sho marries is in love with Kei, it's your classic Asian love triangle, in which the woman is incidental. ;D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, it does not make the movie any more painful of an experience.

    Like I said, I don't really fault the filmmakers for making what they did, although it is not my personal preference. My problem is how the movie was marketed.

    Mind you, the beginning still feels incredibly random.

    ReplyDelete