Lock Me Up!: 8213- Gacy House

Why didn't they just make Paranormal Entity 2?!?  Clearly all the death did not stop the makers of the Paranormal Activity franchise from making a confusing sequel/prequel/sidequel last year.  Instead of playing things straight, The Asylum decided to make a brand new film...that also ripped off Paranormal Activity.  It would be like them making Transmorphers and following it up with Tranceformers!  So what's this film about, you ask sardonically?  Why a bunch of people go into a house and find that a killer ghost is inside.  It could be worse- it could be a ghost rapist (i.e. The Entity).  Although, actually, one scene does involve...well, you'll see.  Like their other rip-off movie, this one also claims to be crime scene footage released by the police.  Unlike the other movie, this one has a celebrity ghost- John Wayne Gacy.  Yes, the famous Chicago serial killer is the focus of this movie, despite the contradictions that the movie establishes by using his name.  I'll get into those during the review.  If you ever became a Mormon, make sure not to visit...

The movie slaps you in the face right away by explaining that this is footage of what led up to the deaths of all the people inside the house.  Why is it in Edited then?  You see, the Police Department did that in order to give it narrative flow, of course!  No wonder Police Departments are going over-budget- they hire professional Editors to mess with their evidence.  By the way, this is freaking evidence (if you believe the lie!).  Basically, this group of six people are going to the 'Gacy House' to see evidence of ghosts.  Here's the first glaring problem- the original Gacy house was demolished.  If you don't know, Gacy buried bodies in the crawlspace, so they couldn't exactly sell the house to a new owner!  Years later, a house was rebuilt on the lot, which the movie even acknowledges.  Someone should have told it to the actors/real people then, since they talk all about 'going into the crawlspace to see where he buried the bodies!'  While I'm barely on-topic, I should also mention that this film takes place in 2006 (since Paranormal Activity 2 did), but the DVD box description actually says that it happens in 2004.  Oh right- the plot.  Basically, these people wander around, set up cameras and talk about ghosts.  Thanks for making the 'Making Of' into your real film!

If you like films where things actually happen, you're sorely out of luck here.  The majority of the 'action' here involves doors closing, lights flickering and all that crap.  This kind of thing can be done right, you know.  When it's clearly build-up for something major, I can accept it.  When it's pretty much all you're going to get, however, it's cheap and lazy!  The only real action you get comes when two of the people decide to go to the 'Gacy House' bedroom and, well, summon some spirits.  Thank you, pointless T&A scene.  By the way, the people pick that room because the camera went out in there.  I guess they thought that nobody could fix it!  To make it even sillier, we- as the audience- still see part of their 'action' on the camera.  A bit later, the woman discovers scratches all over her back..but they're not from him.  She freaks out a bit and wants to leave, but is convinced to just stay in the van.  Bear that in mind for later.  By the way, that Gacy ghost has a potty mouth...

While there is still not a lot of action, what you get is pretty much tossed into the final ten minutes.  I would warn you about SPOILERS, but the opening description tells you that everyone in the house died.  What would I be SPOILING exactly?  The blond in the van is attacked by...um, something and dragged off-camera.  They never explain why they have a camera in their van, by the way.  In the house, 'Gacy' finally has enough and attacks!  One guy is charged at by the ghost, which he can see in the techno-babble camera, and tossed into a room to die.  Watch as he clearly does a back-tumble and closes the door with his own hand!  Despite all the talk earlier about Gacy only going after those of his own sex, he rips open the blouse of the psychic lady, giving us our other T&A shot of the film.  One poor guy is dragged into the air- that ghost is strong apparently- and has his pants pulled down.  Yeah, that's both silly and illogical, as Gacy targeted young boys, not 30 year-old men!  The rest all run around and die.  Just to 'authenticate' this, they show us the Death Certificates of each person and explain that the blond from the van is the chief suspect, since she was never found.  The End.

Good night, Gacy!  The plot of this movie is just silly and stupid.  Follow the film's logic for a moment.  In 1994, Gacy was executed by the state.  Before that, his house was demolished- for safety and ethical reasons- and a new one was built on the lot.  Over a decade later, his ghost wanders into the house built on top of where his old one was & kills some people for, um, being there.  On top of that, he has a range of ghost powers, including the ability to vanish at will, blow out light bulbs and, apparently, telekinesis/super-strength.  In addition, he apparently attacks the woman outside of the house and hides/destroys the body.  After all of that, do you really buy this as 'real footage?'  I didn't think so.  To be fair, other than the guy closing the door on himself, there are ain't transparently-obvious F/X here.  Mind you, all of the F/X here are cheap, so they're also easy to do.  This isn't Avatar or anything.  The real problem is the pacing and the acting.  The film has a lot of 'dead air' and filler.  It sure was nice of the 'Chicago Police Department' to not Edit out the footage that showed nothing and just wasted our time!  The characters are written as very shallow and they're pretty much just all 'ghost-bait.'  I particularly did not like the psychic who offers up her son's shirt to 'Gacy' during a seance.  She'e either lying or really sick in the head!  If you can get past the bad acting, lazy characters, bad pacing and goofy premise, there is, well, a movie here.  For the sake of argument, I will note that I'm over the whole 'haunted house film', so take my opinion with that in mind.  The film does have two stars in it though...

Next up, the week wraps up properly with The Asylum pushing the limits of good taste.  This time, we get a plot involving a hijacked plane, white supremacists and...President Hillary Clinton?  Stay tuned...