Columbus Death: The Ghost Galleon

Happy Columbus Day! Let's celebrate a holiday based around a guy driving a ship to where he was not going and not discovering America. If that's all we need, any douche-bag with a speedboat should have a holiday! Boat- check. Not discovering America- check. So how do I celebrate such a dubious pretense for a holiday? With a movie that has a dubious reputation among horror fans, that's how! This is the third film in the famous Blind Dead quadrilogy and usually seen as the 'black sheep of the family.' Let's be honest- it's the fourth film that really stands out simply being 'blah.' This movie is judged quite harshly for its unique setting and some bad special effects added in post-production. Let's judge the film on its own merits- shall we? This is...

The Ghost Galleon

Our story begins in a very curious manner with a bunch of models doing a fashion shoot in a dimly-lit building. The thing turns bad when one of the women is kidnapped and taken out to sea. Some of her friends try to get involved, but that does not exactly work all too well. The bottom line is this: they end up on a boat in the middle of the ocean. They run afoul of a mysterious ship and see that their only option is to explore the ship. I mean, they are stranded, so why not? Some hints are given early on by a professor that the ship was one that was used by the Knights Templar back in the day, but it went missing. I sure hope that there aren't actual any of these guys on the ship. Oh crap, there are! The emergence of the creatures is welcome, since most of the characters are not exactly all that likable. The guys look as creepy as ever, their appearance aided by the dark, moody setting. Our heroes quickly figure out that there is not exactly a lot of room to hide on this ship. Plus, they can't exactly run away right now! Houston, we have a problem!

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The only saving grace for our heroes appears to be the dawning of the morning sun. Like in the previous films, they cannot move during the day and simply lie in wait. This gives our heroes time to figure out a way to survive. This is where the controversy about the film lies, as many people found the characters so unlikable that any lull in the horror was deemed 'boring.' While it is certainly not the best part, this does not kill the movie. One issue that is prevalent is a lack of explanation in regards to the beasts, especially when compared to the other films. We know that the Templars were evil and died, but that's it. Anything else is not important, apparently. When night time comes, our heroes try to hide from the monsters- it does not work all that well. Some of the kills are not that good, but the ambiance and atmosphere really shines here. Armando de Ossorio does his best to avoid showing the bad model ship that the studio gave him for establishing shots and does this often by using some strange angles. Let's get to the real meat of the film, shall we?

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When dawn emerges on the final day, our heroes finally figure out that they need to get rid of the Templars. They manage to dump their coffins (a new thing to the series) into the water with them inside. The pressure comes in the form of time, as our heroes need to move these massive things before the sun goes down. In some fairly-bad effects shots, we see the coffins float to the bottom. Our surviving heroes sit the ship on fire to put the evil completely to bed, giving us another sad shot. The real horror of this film is the budget! The tiny ship burns as our heroes escape to a nearby island. Unfortunately, it is not that simple. Come nightfall, the zombies emerge from their now-wet coffins and walk along the ocean shore. The duo sit on the beach, celebrating their victory in an exhausted state. The monsters rise from the water and linger over our heroes as the credits roll. That's how you end a horror movie!

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This movie is certainly flawed, but saves itself in the creative wrap-up. One thing that this series did was mix-up the endings and locations. We get the plains (Part 1), a town (Part 2), the ship (Part 3) and an seaside town (Part 4). As for this film, it is definitely a unique entry in the series. The idea of the people being trapped on the boat is a great one, but the execution is not perfect. Would this film have been better with a couple million more dollars? Absolutely. Ossorio himself talked about how much he wanted the films to be bigger than they were, but he was forced to work with so little. This was pretty much his whole problem throughout his career. In spite of all this, I encourage you to try and watch this movie with an open mind. Is it a classic? Maybe, but certainly not in the classic way. Check out it for yourselves.

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Up next, a film that words cannot do justice. Freddy Krueger + Bollywood = win. Stay tuned...